Hunting for the Day - Re-Vamped
by KNeu21
Summary: Sequel to 'And Every Soul Shines - Re-Vamped': Turning sixteen years old is never easy for anyone. Least of all, Leandra, when this pivotal age turns out to be more challenging than she ever thought before. Everybody knows growing up is hard, but what can we expect of Leandra's journey into adulthood? Rated 'M', people! For 'M' related subjects and themes! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

If there was one thing I hated, it was early mornings.

I was never one to be considered a morning person, and more often than not, I became a bear for the first two hours after being woken up. For whatever reason. I didn't care if the house was on fire. I'd rather sleep through it.

I didn't know what caused that. I always heard most teenagers were like that, but I suspected being so sleep deprived as a kid, through either my fault or my stepfather's fault, also had something to do with it. Either way, it didn't matter. I loved to sleep. There was nothing else like it in the world.

Now, the morning of my sixteenth birthday, I was woken up way too early. Opening my eyes just a bit, the clock read six-fifteen in the morning. I refused to acknowledge Alice standing there. She waited, tapping her foot impatiently.

I could out stubborn her, if I was patient enough, and she knew that. She learned that the rhythmic tapping of her foot could usually just put me back to sleep, so she would vary its pattern. Which was highly irritating. Irritating enough to wake me up.

"When are you going to learn," I mumbled from half under the pillows, "That I like to sleep?"

"I already know that."

"Is it too much to ask for, to have you take my love of sleep into consideration?" I had yet to move, or even fully open my eyes, "I'd like to think I've earned the privilege of sleeping in."

"You know me better than that." She laughed, "Now come on. Out of bed."

"Why?" I asked in return, "What use is it to celebrate this year? You know you're just lucky I haven't tried to kill myself yet."

"Now, I'm definitely not letting you lay around feeling sorry for yourself." She grabbed my wrist and pulled, "Up you get." Tugging me into sitting upright. I whined, tearing the hairtie out of my hair in frustration.

My hair had gotten long enough for tying it up to be a necessity at night, just so I didn't roll over and lay on it. Laying straight down my back in a braid, or a curtain over my shoulder when I had it down.

I'd done plenty of growing over the last three or so years. My shaky start to my teen years really had no lasting physical effect on me, which was a surprise, given all of the stuff I'd gotten into. I was still small for my age, but then again, that wasn't so strange. On the low end of five foot tall wasn't so bad considering how far behind I used to be.

I was just about Alice's height now, maybe an inch or so shorter. The only reason I cooperated now was because I really didn't want to be carried. So I swung my feet out of bed, giving her a look and heading for the door still wide open.

The one place I had the very most history was my bedroom. I loved my room, though that wasn't always the case.

Fighting off a yawn on my way out the door, I padded bare foot up the hall toward the living room. Fixing my pajamas, since they'd gotten crinkled as I slept, I fluffed my hair. Trying to wake up, and not be so grumpy.

"Sleeping beauty." Emmett chuckled once he saw me, and I gave him a glare, "Gorgeous." I couldn't help losing the glare, and laughing a little at the tone of voice he used, shaking my head. I chose to sit beside him, wanting to wake up a little before getting into the shower. I yawned deeply, laying my head back. Emmett, thinking he was being funny, poked his finger into my mouth. I bit down on his finger, and he chuckled as I held on.

I didn't appreciate being mocked.

"Okay, you can let go now." He laughed, shaking his finger a little. I wrinkled my nose at him, adding more pressure. I knew for a fact I wasn't hurting him, and was already close to hurting myself, but I held on. He sighed in mock frustration, waiting.

"Already, the biting has begun." Jasper muttered, coming into the room to stand beside where Alice had fallen into the chair.

"He started it." I mumbled around his finger between my teeth. Finally having enough, Emmett grabbed my hand and bit onto my finger in return. Not hard enough to break skin, of course, but it hurt. I was stubborn though, holding on. I laughed, trying to pull my hand free.

"Ow!" I kicked at him.

"I'll let go if you let go." He told me, "Again, you're fighting a losing battle."

"No such thing!"

"Both of you, knock it off." Rosalie descended the stairs. Very unamused. We both let go at the same time, and I pulled my hand back to myself. Assessing the nonexistent damage. Emmett was always careful with me.

Fixing how I sat, I somehow managed to kick Emmett yet again as I stretched out long ways on the couch. He chuckled, pushing my foot back to myself as I closed my eyes, choosing to snooze a little in the few minutes of silence in the room.

"Your father will be here around ten." Alice informed me, "He's bringing everyone." And I nodded, keeping my eyes shut.

"And Andrew?" I asked sleepily, glancing up at her, to which she nodded.

"This year, the Denalis are coming as well." She added and that surprised me enough to lean up on my elbows, looking back at her, "I know."

"Usually they don't bother with birthdays." I muttered, still surprised, "Especially with humans here."

"This is a special one." Jasper explained quietly, and I laid back down.

"With any luck, I won't see my next one." I said, "At least not human." I thought about that for a minute, finally sighing heavily, "Shit." I brought both hands up, covering my face briefly.

"Okay." Alice said, seeing my mood drop instantly, "Time to get your shower." She stepped forward and grabbed my wrists and tugged me off the couch.

I cooperated this time merely because I always felt better after a shower. I still couldn't stand taking a bath, but showers were more than acceptable.

"You saying I stink?" I muttered back at her, and she gave me an amused glare. Yeah, yeah. I knew. She knew me well enough to know my mood lifted significantly the more I woke up, and I tended to wake up after a warm shower.

I chose to leave my hair down, which bugged Alice to no end. She always insisted I do something with it. My favorite fitting pink t-shirt and jeans, and I was ready. I needed no shoes, considering I probably wouldn't be leaving the house or the porch.

I'd learned by now that even if I wanted to protest, Alice would decorate. So I chose not to worry about it this year. Let her do what she's going to do. I laid on the couch with Emmett as Alice and Esme got things ready. Wishing I was less tired, and wishing I could look forward to seeing my dad again.

The cousins showed up about nine, which I greeted them from my place on the couch as Esme and Carlisle made small-talk with them. This was sort of a sad greeting, I realized, as they knew the significance of this birthday. They understood, but none of the humans coming would.

When the doorbell finally rang about nine-forty-five, I rolled quickly to my feet as Emmett turned off the TV. Alice, of course, beat me to the door, and I came up behind her. There stood my dad, grinning from ear to ear while Rachel stayed at the van.

"Leandra." He greeted, hugging me tightly, "Way to make me feel old, kiddo." He pulled back, holding my hands and looking me up and down, "More beautiful every time I see you. It's so hard to believe you're that two year old, running around naked with chocolate syrup all over your face and the living room wall."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"That's a new one." I said, "And why weren't you watching me?"

"I turned my back for two seconds." He told me in his defense, "You always were a crafty little thing."

Lily, my now eleven year old half-sister, stumbled up the steps behind him. Four gifts in her arms, one gift bag hanging in her teeth.

"Dad," She mumbled around the handle of the gift bag, "Mom's pissed."

"Again?" He sighed, turning. I reached forward, taking a few of the wrapped gifts from her with a laugh. She took the bag from her teeth, laughed and hugged me a little in greeting. Despite how long we usually went without seeing each other, we still remained somewhat friends.

"Man, you're growing up." I told her, "Look at you."

"Dad's having one hell of time keeping me in clothes that fit." She giggled a little, stepping passed me inside. I usually ignored her curse words, remembering my time as an eleven year old.

"That'll slow down in about two or three years." I said, "If you're anything like me."

"Leandra!" I glanced over at the squeal of a five year old, her grin lighting up her whole face as she raced over the gravel toward the steps. My other half-sister. Excited as ever.

"Oh, no! They let you loose!" I called dramatically, holding the door open for her. She reached me, plowing into my side and hugging me, "Ah! You caught me."

"She's been one major pain in the butt." Lily sighed, walking away. Continuing on toward the living room.

"No I haven't!" Kaylee called after her, pouting. I lifted her, sighing as I did so.

"You're getting heavy, big butt." I pointed out, "What have you grown? Three? Four inches?"

"And a whole 'nother year." She reported proudly. She meant she'd had a birthday since I saw her last. Her auburn hair was growing out nicely, just passed her shoulders now.

"Me too." I told her, and returned her smile, as I carried her on into the living room. I listened to the sounds of my dad and Rachel arguing on the porch, making their way inside as well. Probably with the newest member of their family with them.

"Wow." Lily was hesitating in the doorway, looking toward the couch. I knew she'd found the Denalis, and couldn't help laughing.

"I'll introduce you." I offered, and she nodded. Still seeming awkward, I led her forward. Kaylee still in my arm. My dad followed up behind me, the baby boy in his arms smiling at me.

My little brother, who'd been born two years before and named Gabriel after Rachel's grandfather, looked so much like my dad, it was amazing. Even more than Kaylee or even I did. He had the cutest dimples, though, on both cheeks. Only really showing when he grinned like he did so now. His green eyes three of us four kids inherited from my dad shining. He must have just woken up, given the slight tired look to him.

I greeted him enthusiastically, setting Kaylee down on her feet and pulling him to me.

"So how many more kids are you going to have?" I asked sarcastically, grinning a little as Rachel entered the room behind my dad.

"None." She sighed tiredly, "Four would be way too many. Three is too many."

"I don't blame you." I laughed a little as Gabe wriggled in my arms until I let him down. I watched him instantly run to the couch, snagging a seat for himself. The last time he'd been here, he was about eighteen months old, and barely toddling around. It surprised me to see that he remembered most everybody, smiling and waving in greeting. He was going to be a heartbreaker when he was older.

Kaylee loved Kate, which was a pretty big relief. Babbling excitedly to her the entire time, hardly giving her a break. She didn't seem to mind Kaylee either, to my surprise. I wouldn't have pegged Kate as someone to like kids.

Lily pretty much stayed shyly by me the entire morning, which I didn't mind. After their initial surprise at how beautiful the Denalis were, they got comfortable talking openly with them. Everything seemed to be going well, which I should have expected.

Given the way my gift warned me of nothing going wrong, I knew it'd go smoothly.

A few months back, I'd gotten fed up with my gift of knowing way too much, and chose to wear three bracelets on each wrist. That seemed to do the trick in covering most of it, but the emotions stayed. The emotions were something I could only muffle. Never covering them completely, but I'd take that over being given every little detail about what I chose to look for.

Andrew got there around noon, leading his father, Richard in and I hugged them both in greeting.

Andrew had grown so much since we'd met as scrawny kids. Taller than his dad now, about 5'9", he stood five inches above me. We'd been pretty even there for a little while, but he hit another growth spurt at fifteen, and now sixteen only added to that.

"You need to stop growing." I jokingly told him, "It's not fair to us short folk."

"You need to start." He said right back, "It's not fair to us that actually grow."

"Shut up." I laughed, leading the two of them into the living room.

"Whoa." Andrew chuckled, "Full house already." He'd met the cousins and my dad's family already, so there was no reason for introductions.

Once we found seats for everyone, I sat on the armrest of the chair, looking around at everyone in the room. Some standing and talking to each other, others sitting and talking to each other.

Emmett and Rosalie standing by the window, talking to Rachel and Tanya as Emmett kept hold of a struggling and giggling Kaylee was the most interesting sight. Gabriel, of course, gravitated more toward Esme's motherly charms, and I suspected she didn't mind as much. The way she obviously loved children made me happy to have gotten my dad's family in my life. Just so she'd have a chance at this.

Alice and Jasper sat on the couch with Richard, my dad and Lily, and I couldn't help noticing the obvious little crush Lily had on Jasper. Anyone with eyes would recognize that smile on her face, and the way she'd blush and look down as he smiled at her. Of course he'd know all about the way she was feeling, and it was very clearly entertaining to him.

Carlisle had come to stand by me, which I didn't mind in the least. Andrew was seated in the chair beside me, so I couldn't tell Carlisle about what was on my mind, but he seemed to know already. Given the understanding look in his eyes as I glanced up at him. He knew what I was thinking.

Seeing them like this, all together, made me really fully realize how much I'd be leaving in six months.

The humans in my life would never know what happened to me. To them, it'd probably seem like I just dropped off the face of the earth. Unless the family chose to tell them I died, which would make more sense and leave little room for question. My dad would have trouble accepting it, I knew, but eventually, he'd have no choice but to. Andrew would, of course, be devastated.

I didn't know what the family would do once they were out from under all the human obligations I put on them. Maybe stay, maybe move on. Probably stay for Jake's sake. Maybe Edward and Bella would stay here while the others left and did their own thing. I heard they sometimes did that for awhile, split up, when they got done with one area.

It was such a bittersweet feeling, really. Emotionally heartwrenching, though, that I'd be leaving them. It hurt, it did, but I had come to terms with it. I fought it, but now that I accepted it, there wasn't much crying anymore. I didn't see the point in fighting it, because it was for the best.

Crying, however, would be inevitable. Especially as the day grew closer.

The family could have their sense of accomplishment, for raising me this far. Getting me to this milestone. Six and a half years had passed now since I'd met them, and all I'd put them through was more than I could say, but never once had they ever given up on me. All of them working together to get me here.

My sixteenth birthday.

"Zoning out?" Andrew asked beside me, and I looked over at him. Laughing a little.

"I guess you could say that." I said, "Just thinking."

"About what?" He inquired quietly, smiling a little.

"Just stuff." I answered, standing with a sigh.

He let it go, and we got to talking about before. Before our teenage years, and back when we were kids. All the stuff I'd get into, and all the times we'd just sat around and talked with Josh and Zack. Meeting them for the first time, and how much I really didn't like Josh.

It really made me realize how much things could change.

"All I know, is the night you had to leave about killed me." He admitted, and I looked down, knowing what he meant, "You remember?" He was referring to the night I had to go to Tacoma. To the mental hospital there, and wound up staying for a week.

"I can't forget that if I tried." I sighed, "It was so hard to just give up, but it was for the best."

"Do you still do that?" He asked, "Attack people, I mean." I laughed a little, shrugging.

"Not so much anymore." I admitted, "But test me. Let's see if I can still kick your butt."

"Getting soft in your old age?" He asked, stepping back as I tried to smack him, "I see how it is." He laughed, ducking again and jogging away.

"You're my age." I reminded him, "So I'd keep the old jokes to yourself." I followed him slowly through the room, toward the hallway.

"Whatever you say, grandma." He countered, and I couldn't help it. I ran after him, jumping onto his back outside my bedroom door. He held my weight easily, laughing as he attempted to pry my hold on him loose.

"Get him, shorty." Emmett laughed, bringing everyone's attention to us now. He managed to get me off of him for a moment, ducking out of my reach into my room, and I followed quickly.

Tackling him onto his back down on the bed, I pinned him easily, sitting on his stomach. Not in a mean way, of course, and he knew that.

After letting me sit there for a few moments, he managed to move. Rolling both of us over until I was on my back, him above me. I was laughing too hard to really realize what position we'd landed in, reaching up to clear my hair from my face.

I opened my eyes, looking up at him. He was laying over me, our stomachs touching, but his weight held by his forearm. Slightly out of breath from wrestling, but the look in his eyes made me even more breathless. He definitely wasn't the awkward kid I used to know. His brown eyes looking into mine, and a smile that was smug but sweet at the same time.

When the hell had he grown up?

A sort of nervousness settled in my stomach, and I laughed a little quietly, trying to figure out how to tell him to get off of me without making him feel bad, and trying to decide whether or not I wanted him to. His hand came up to softly touch my cheek, and the blush I was sure I had there.

Just as he leaned down, we were interrupted. I barely had the chance to feel his lips brush mine.

"Hey now." I jumped up, bringing my legs from around him. Kicking him roughly off of me and onto the floor beside the bed at Emmett's voice at the door, "What was that?" He stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame.

"Nothing." I said innocently, rolling to my feet. Grinning a little, I headed for the door, listening to Andrew climb back to his feet. Emmett's slightly narrowed eyes followed me as I squeaked passed him and left the room, "Don't skin him."

"Damn." I heard him mutter.

I had to be blushing bad by then, but nobody mentioned it as I flopped back down onto the couch beside Lily. Glancing back toward the hallway, I noticed Emmett had Andrew aside, and was talking to him. Given the look on Andrew's face, it was about staying away from me. I laughed a little to myself, and shook my head.

Emmett walked Andrew back into the room, his arm around Andrew's shoulders.

"Sorry." I whispered, and he smiled my way. I could clearly see, by the smile he gave me, that he thought it was completely worth it.

Opening my gifts and cards was a pretty embarrassing feat, but I managed to. At one point, Lily stuck a shimmery purple bow to my forehead, and I left it there. Just going on with my duties.

To my surprise, however, at the bottom of the pile was a very elegantly wrapped gift with black and gold paper. A crisp, white card attached to it with my name scrawled on it. I knew immediately who it was from, just by looking at the way it was wrapped. I picked it up slowly, glancing up at Carlisle. His look confirmed it.

Aro had sent me something.

I sighed, and placed it underneath the coffee table, deciding to open it later. I didn't want to see what it was he'd sent me. Everyone else, however, noticed me do so.

"What was that?" Lily asked, and I sighed, looking to her.

"Nothing." I said, "I'll open that one later. I don't feel up to it right now."

"Aw, come on." She whined, "You have to open them all."

At her insisting, I pulled the gift back up to me. Removing the card, I opened it. Dreading whatever it said.

'Leandra,' It had written inside, 'I look forward to seeing you again, my dear. Happy birthday.'

Glancing up at Carlisle and Esme this time, I set the card on the table and set about opening the gift. Pulling off the wrapping, a simple flat black box sat under it. Pulling open the lid, a rather elegantly embellished pendant lay inside. Shining silver, and in the shape of a 'V' hung on a thick silver chain. Red stones set between the shape of the 'V' and the embellishments.

That was a blow.

"Wow." Lily mumbled, shocked, "That's so pretty."

"Yeah." I muttered bitterly, closing the box again, "But I'll never wear it."

"Why not?" Rachel asked curiously, "Someone obviously admires you."

"What's the 'V' stand for?" Lily asked, confused.

"Okay, we can move on now." I grumbled, sliding the box back under the coffee table.

After that, they let it go. I was able to somewhat regain my positive attitude after some effort, but that image was burned into my mind for the rest of the day. I hated that pendant, but no doubt he expected me to wear it the day he came to pick me up.

I struggled to push the image of that to the back of my mind. Getting back to the moment at hand.

Andrew didn't leave until after my dad and his family.

I walked he and Richard out, and I couldn't help thinking. I'd only gotten to kiss Andrew once, and that was back when we were ten years old. We'd gone through enough together since then that I think I owed him at least a kiss.

Once we were out on the porch, I didn't care who was watching now. I pushed him back against the porch railing, leaning in close. He caught on rather quickly, sliding his hand up around the back of my neck and tangled his hand in my hair.

His lips landed against mine almost roughly and I responded instantly.

A low whistle left Richard, and I vaguely listened to him turn. Probably deciding to wait by the car. I barely noticed when Andrew turned us around, moving me back against the railing now. My head spinning further with the movement.

My cheeks flushed, but I didn't care this time. I didn't know what to do with my hands, so I rested them on his waist, my hands balled in his shirt. I had no idea who he'd been practicing with, but he was a very good kisser. I hoped I was doing okay, not having kissed anyone since Josh.

The kiss lasted several minutes, and by the time he decided to end it, we were both slightly out of breath. He pressed a smaller, sweeter kiss to my forehead, and stepped back.

"Good night." He told me, smiling.

"Good night." I repeated quietly, biting my lip. My own smile crossing my lips. I followed him to the steps, watching him jog down them. Leaning against the rail, my hands in my pockets as I watched him pause by the passenger door to his dad's car, looking back at me. Our smiles renewed and he climbed in.

I stayed until they were gone, sighing.

I knew I probably wouldn't get another chance to do that, so I didn't mind it so much. I was just glad it didn't go badly. Quite the opposite in fact.

I went back inside, my smile still there.

"I'm going to hate myself for that in a few months, but totally worth it." I sighed, sitting down, "At least for now."

"That poor boy kept missing his chance." Alice commented, smiling a little herself, "That was nice of you, Leandra. You made his night."

"I know." I mumbled confidently, leaning back, "I think he's earned it."

"Earned it?" Jasper asked, chuckling a little.

"Yeah." I said, "He's been there from like.. The very beginning. And yeah, we fought when we were kids, but other than that, he's always been there. I've known him forever. There was.. Wow, everything." I sighed, "I'm going to miss him." It hit me hard suddenly. I was going to leave _everyone_ behind.

It was quiet in the room now, as I half laid there, studying my hands folded on my stomach. Looking back at all I'd be losing. This was a major sacrifice I was making. I stopped those thoughts in their track, sitting upright as I sighed heavily.

"I wanna talk about how I found you two, for starters." Emmett's arms were crossed again, his eyes narrowed, "It took all I had not to toss him off the roof."

"How sweet." I smiled a little, "Protective Emmett."

"Someone has to be." He said incredulously, "You can't be letting boys lay on you like that."

"Why not?" I asked, standing and crossing my own arms.

"They get ideas there." His eyes narrowed. I sighed, crossing the room and standing in front of him.

"They get ideas," I told him, "But I don't. I know when to tell Andrew to back off." He sighed as well, uncrossing his arms and pulling me into a hug.

"I'll always worry." He said as I returned the hug, "I hate the thought of anyone hurting you."

"Andrew's not like that." I mumbled, "If we were to ever do anything, it would have to be my idea."

"Just know that I would happily maim, and-or fatally injure anyone for you." He told me, and I sighed.

"I know." I replied, smiling a little, "You've got to know do that, though."

"Wow." I stepped back, looking toward the door at Mikah's voice, "What did I miss?" Mikah had been gone all day, so seeing him here now was somewhat of a surprise. He still wasn't able to be around so many humans, and I understood. I was happy to see him, though the moment could be better.

I couldn't help smiling and stepping over to hug him. He returned it in a gentle one arm hug around my neck. Given how easy it was for him to embrace me, I knew he'd spent the day hunting.

"Emmett's threatening bodily harm to anyone who dares come sniffing around me." I explained nonchalantly, smiling a little at his chuckle.

"Again?" Mikah asked, "My, princess. Who is it this time?"

"Andrew." I answered, "We were playing around earlier, and Emmett was convinced I was about to get pregnant."

"Impossible." Mikah replied, "It's not the right time for that."

I sighed heavily and stepped back, "Is everyone aware of when I bleed?"

"Sorry, princess." Mikah chuckled at my discomfort, "It happens."

"You could at least pretend not to know." I rolled my eyes a little, sitting back down on the couch.

"Other than that," Mikah said, "How was your birthday? Get plenty of gifts?"

My thoughts drifted back to the pendant under the table. I reached down and lifted the box again, opening it again. I pulled out the chain, holding the pendant in the palm of my hand as I looked at it. It felt too heavy in my hand, like it might burn me at any second.

"Aro sent you that?" Mikah asked, surprised. Catching on quickly.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I wish he wouldn't."

This was a symbol of what waited for me. Where I was going, and where I'd spend the rest of my life. It stood for everything I hated, and it stood for captivity.

"I think it's cruel of him to send that for your birthday." Mikah pointed out quietly.

I glanced up at him, sighing as I looked back down at it. He wasn't wrong.

After several minutes of me inspecting the piece of jewelery, I stood up forcefully, strode across the room, and tossed the pendant, along with the box and card, into the fireplace.

"Fuck that." I said bitterly, watching the card instantly curl up in the fire. The box was taking a little while, but the pendant seemed perfectly fine. I turned away from it, sitting on the ledge in front of the fireplace, "I know he'll probably just make me wear another one when I'm there, but for now.. Fuck that."

Emmett seemed pleased, as well as Mikah and even Rosalie, and to be honest, so was I.

I looked to Alice, "Tomorrow, you're taking me shopping."

Surprised, her expression brightened, and she smiled.

"Sure." She said, grinning wider, "Whatever you want."

I nodded, smiling a little in return.

No more laying around dreading through what time I had left. I was going to enjoy what time I had left with my family. Dreading it just made me bitter. I would be happy if it killed me. The little moments counted the most, and if shopping made her happy, then I'd go for it.

And it did. It was too sunny in Seattle, so we shopped in Port Angeles instead. Not that that hindered her any. She had to have spent a small fortune on everything she got me, but I didn't care. I let her. Not complaining once, because I knew it made her happy.

I spent three of the six months I had left doing everything I could to make my family happy.

Which included gritting my teeth, and learning how to drive at Alice's request. That had to be the scariest week of my life. Learning the rules and whatnot, and the basics of what to do, I dreaded the moment I would actually have to do it. Even with Jasper sitting in the backseat, and Alice beside me.

Finding me a rather rural stretch of road, they decided it was best to just let me loose. I was literally shaking with nervousness as I sat there, still not daring to touch the steering wheel in front of me.

"I'm positive I'm going to kill somebody." I whined for the third time that afternoon.

"No you're not." Alice told me calmly, "You know this."

"If I knew this, I wouldn't be freaking the _fuck_ out, would I?"

"Temper." She scolded lightly, "Just breathe."

"And so what if I don't kill somebody?" I asked shakily, "If I get a scratch on this car, you'll kill me." She'd chosen her car, of course, to let me loose in.

"No I won't." She laughed a little, "You'll do fine."

"Really, Leandra." Jasper offered from the back, "I'd be thankful she's not making you actually get your license."

"Yeah, you're right there." I allowed, taking a deep breath. I felt my tension lessen greatly, and glanced to him. Knowing immediately what he was doing.

After enough time sitting there, I eventually put my hands on the leather wheel, hating the way it felt under them.

"Good." Alice smiled, nodding, "It's a start."

"I can't do this." I finally mumbled, turning to leave the car. Alice caught me before I could, pulling me back into the drivers seat. If anyone had been around, it would have looked like the strangest kidnapping in history.

Me struggling to get free by clinging to the open door, her pulling on my waist until she wrestled me back into the car.

"It's really not that big of a deal, Leandra." She sighed once I was back in the seat.

It was almost evening by the time I got the car moving. More annoyed at this point, and just wanting to get it over with, I crawled along at three miles per hour.

"You can press the accelerator." Alice offered hesitantly from beside me, "Slowly, of course, but it won't bite you." So I did. Carefully, very carefully, I got up to fifteen miles per hour before I started to get slightly more comfortable.

By the time we got home, I hadn't hurt the car or anyone in it, but I was swearing never to do that again.

"You did so good, Leandra." Alice argued with my decision, "I don't know why you're so worked up-"

"That's a death trap." I growled, pointing behind me into the garage, "Just waiting to kill someone."

"I agree." Jasper said, ducking around my pointing arm, "You did well for your first time."

"I would prefer to die on my own terms. Not the car's." I said, grumbling the entire way into my bedroom. Listening to them laughing behind me.

So I'd done it. Stepped way beyond my comfort zone for Alice's happiness. I hoped whatever their happiness included next would be less nerve-wracking.

And it was.

Jasper requested to teach me a few more self-defense moves, which I didn't mind in the least. I was out of practice, of course, but I didn't do too bad.

Emmett requested that I practice what Jasper taught me on him. Which had to have been the very highlight of his entire week, given how entertained he was when it didn't work, and I wound up slightly wounding myself instead.

Alice also requested to cut my hair shorter than lower-back length. She wanted to give me layers, but that I had to flat out refuse. I didn't want anything but what I normally had. Just straight, shiny hair. My head felt lighter, but it wasn't too bad. Easier to manage, and I didn't have to tie it up at night anymore.

I thanked her for that one, which made her the most happy.

I had to make a request, though. I wanted another tattoo, but this time, I wanted someone to come with me to get it. Since I hardly ever requested anything, Carlisle agreed. I would need his approval before anything, and he gave it. As well as agreeing to come with me to get it done.

Three months before I had to leave, my latest tattoo was done healing.

It was a small one, placed on my other shoulder. It wasn't nearly as big as the one I already had, which was still doing good. This new tattoo, however, was a heart. A scarred, cracked and shattered heart, and it was falling to pieces from the center. The pieces of it trailing down my back for about an inch or so.

It was pretty depressing to look at, but it best said how I felt majority of my life.

I heavily approved of it, and I loved it. Custom drawn by the artist himself, with me directing him, the entire ordeal took roughly three and a half hours to get done. Though Carlisle wasn't happy at the fact I wanted another one, he didn't say anything.

Every day passed too fast after that, and every day the emotion I held was even heavier than the last. Harder to carry without breaking. Before I even knew it, October had passed, and November began.

And before I could even focus on that, November passed, and came December. I had less than a month left before I'd have to leave. That realization was startling, and was more than enough to nearly break through the emotional wall I'd been trying desperately to build.

With the pressure increasing, and the need to distance myself becoming desperate, I snapped. A lot. I was cranky, but cried often because of it.

I was told repeatedly that I still had time to change my mind, but I wouldn't. I already knew that. I could always go with the idea I had three years ago, and tell Mikah to take me somewhere, but I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't take the selfish way out, and put my family under that kind of stress.

I was done hurting them.

The days passed all too quickly from there. Each day, each passing hour was more precious than the last. Each seemingly bored moment wasn't so boring when I knew my bored moments were limited.

Christmas was especially heartbreaking. As I got another note from Aro.

'My dearest Leandra,' The note read, 'I have enclosed instructions for your family for when I come for you in two days.'

That was all it said, but I did find the instruction card. I handed it to Carlisle with tears in my eyes, and I left the room. I wouldn't let them see me cry anymore. Despite the way it was killing me inside.

Making it into my room just in time, the door closed behind me and I just lost it. Bursting into silent tears. Shaking with the effort to keep them that way. No doubt they all could hear me crying anyway, and Jasper could feel it, but he never mentioned it. Which was how I preferred it.

The day after Christmas, I was sitting almost numbly on the couch, just clinging to whatever strength I had left. Sitting with my legs curled up to my chest, like I always used to.

"You can still change your mind, Leandra." I glanced up at Carlisle's voice beside me, before looking back down.

"I know." I murmured, "But I won't."

"Why not?" He finally asked, and I realized nobody had asked me that yet, "Why wouldn't you want to do everything possible to stay? Especially if the thought of leaving is making you this miserable?"

I looked down, thinking hard about how to word my answer.

"Have you ever been in a situation where no matter what, it hurts?" I asked, looking back up and watching as he sat in the chair beside the couch, "Where no matter what direction you go, you hurt someone?"

He gave a slow nod, and I continued.

"That's what this is." I said, "There is a way out. Something I can do that would let me stay out of Aro's hands, without putting you all in his sights." He waited, "But I'm not going to take that way out, because it would hurt you and the family the most. It would be very selfish of me to take that route, no matter how much I want to."

I paused, letting my legs drop.

"As much as it kills me, tears me up inside, I have to go." I murmured, "It's not that I want to go, Carlisle. I swear, that's the opposite of what I want, but the alternative is something I can't live with." I shrugged a little, looking back down, "Maybe in a way, this is selfish too, but this is a selfish I can live with. I just have to remember the way it hurts to lose everyone I care about, otherwise I would choose to stay in a heartbeat."

That was the first time I'd openly said it. The reason why I chose to do this.

If they were to resist, in any way, no matter how hard they tried, they didn't make it. The absolute only way I could get away with not being taken by Aro, would be to have Mikah take me, but I wouldn't do that. Because it would force the family into hiding.

They deserved freedom. Even when I couldn't have it.

I spent most of the evening explaining. Thoroughly explaining every scenario that had been considered. The outcomes of each being maybe two or three of our family, at most, surviving the fight that resulted from resistance, but that was it. For the first time, they finally understood where I was coming from.

There was only one way.

The day dawned snowy and very cold. Sadness and grief squeezed my stomach throughout the morning, making it impossible to eat anything. It was all I could do to keep from crying hysterically and begging them not to let me go. I knew I had to, though. I had to go. The future I faced was so much bigger than I could handle, and I also knew that, but I wouldn't tell anyone.

From the instructions given, I was to be escorted by Mikah. No one else, as to prevent any sort of tension. My family was to stay here, and they weren't to follow. I wasn't allowed to take any belongings with me. Everything would be provided for me there. The instructions were very clear, and very straightforward.

I'd have to leave them, and everything I knew behind.

A quarter to eleven, Mikah waited for me by the door, his hands clasped in front of him. His expression and posture giving away how he felt. He didn't like this any more than I did, and he hated it just as much. I took comfort in the fact, though, that he'd be with me. However little comfort that provided, it was the only way I would ever, _ever_ be able to make myself leave.

Needless to say, a solution hadn't been reached, and my time there was up.

Outside, snow fell heavily. Covering the trees and the yard in a thick blanket of snow that seemed to reflect how I felt. This was going to be impossible, I realized, but I would have to do it. The room was dead silent around me, and I struggled to keep a hold of myself, until I looked up. I looked around me at my family.

Bella and Edward had come by especially early this morning. Ness, Jake and Seth standing off to the side. They all knew what was going on. I hugged them first, long before now. Giving them my goodbyes. Now, it was the rest of the family's turn.

"I know I'll see you guys again." I offered in a choked voice, "It's not.." I had to pause, taking a breath around the lump of emotion in my throat, "It's not forever. I just don't know when."

This was going to be hard. I had a little under an hour to get there, so I had to hurry this up.

And say my goodbyes.

**A/N: First chapter in. I know not a lot happens, but nothing ever does in the first chapter. :)  
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and I _so_ look forward to reading your opinions on it.  
Chapter two will be along after I can work on it. Sleep deprivation isn't something I can really concentrate through, but I managed to on this chapter. Off to sleep!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I faced the family now, just dying inside.

The Denalis had even stopped by. Probably for support of the family. They clearly saw, as I looked to them, the pain in my eyes. I knew they did because they couldn't hold my gaze for long. Standing behind everyone else, out of the way but still very much there.

"I don't know when I'll see you again." I couldn't stop the trembling of my voice, "Can you just promise me something?"

"Anything, shorty." Emmett muttered, and I forced a tearful smile.

"Don't forget me?" A handful of sobs followed that request. I couldn't keep them back, and he was the first one to step forward. Wrapping me in a tight hug, which I returned.

I knew this hug had to last, so I gave all of my effort with this one. I needed him to know how much I really didn't want to leave. It was important that he knew that no matter what, he'd always been the best brother I ever could have asked for. I didn't want to let go, but somehow, I managed to.

"You crazy?" He asked as I looked up at him, stepping back just half a step, "Never."

Rosalie even pulled me into a hug next, pulling back just a little bit to look me in the eye.

"Stay strong, Leandra." She told me firmly, "And use your head. Remember everything we've ever told you, and you'll be alright." I nodded, sniffling roughly.

"Thank you." I sniffled, almost having a hold on myself, "For always knocking me back into place." She smiled a little at that.

"We might not have gotten along very well, Leandra, but I'm tough on everyone. Please don't take whatever I've told you to heart." She sighed, moving my hair from my shoulder, "It's nothing personal. I just know you're smarter than you acted sometimes."

"I know." I replied, forcing a tearful smile, "And I know you're not a self-centered bitch. You just show that you care a little differently than anyone else I know." She hugged me again, tighter this time, and I returned it.

Edward next, and surprisingly, Bella right after. I looked at the both of them, forcing a smile.

As long as I'd known them, it had always only been their goal to be together. In the beginning, it was James that seperated them. Then, Edward's fear of what he was. A try by a newborn army couldn't seperate them. Bella's pregnancy nearly seperated them forever, but with just a hint of luck, Edward saved her when she needed saving the most. The pregnancy couldn't seperate them, and neither could the Volturi. Throughout all of that, they remained. I had to admire that.

Even if it was the Volturi that was making me leave now.

"You've come so far." Edward told me quietly, "And you've so far to go. I still see you as that little girl in our Biology class. That'll never change. Remember who you are, and where you came from, and you can accomplish anything."

"It's so hard to leave." I admitted quietly, shaking my head a little, "I _really_ don't want to go."

"I know." He said, "But let me just say, that by deciding to do this, it truly proves how brave and strong you are." I sniffled, fighting back more emotion, "I know how much this is hurting you, Leandra. And there's nothing I can say that'll make this any easier on you, but I thank you."

"Thank you?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"For showing us what it means to be strong." He clarified, smiling slightly. I returned it sadly, sighing.

"Thank you, Edward." I murmured, "For seeing me all those years ago."

"How could I not?" I smirked a little, giving him a look, "No, I mean it. How could I not? Your thoughts were louder than anyone else's in that room. I'll never forget it."

"I won't either." I sighed, looking down.

"That day so long ago was the most pivotal in your entire life." He reminded me, and I nodded in agreement, "The day your life changed forever. Never forget it, and all of the strength you showed that day. That's yours for the rest of your life, as is the strength it took to overcome so much more. You're truly one courageous young lady, Leandra."

I hugged him again, and that was it for those two.

Jasper and Alice were harder to say goodbye to.

Jasper first, hugging me tightly, and I cried as I returned it. Tears trailing softly down my cheeks as I did so. He kept hold for longer than I expected him to. Offering me just a shred of comfort with the physical contact.

"Keep your head up, Leandra." He told me, "You're tougher than anyone has ever expected you to be. Take some pride in that."

"Just not so bright sometimes." I smiled a little, hugging him tighter.

"Of course you are." He said, "All of us have made some mistakes, deciding to do some things that we know aren't the right choices, but that doesn't mean you're not intelligent. It shapes us, and it makes us who we are."

"I'm going to miss you." I admitted, "I can't tell you how much you've taught me."

"I know." He sighed, "And I'll miss teaching you." I smiled sadly. That was as close to an, 'I'll miss you' as I was going to get from him. I'd take that. Even as it was, I didn't mind it.

I finally stepped back, instantly missing the comfort he provided. He gave me a smile instead, stepping back just enough for Alice to take his place, and I swear she gave a quiet sob of her own as we hugged this time.

Alice was the very first one to see me that day. The first family member I'd met, but definitely not the last. Because of her, I didn't spend the entire hour in pain, and it was because of her that I began to learn that not everybody was out to hurt me.

She'd been my friend, my sister, and protected me through everything she could. She'd supported me through many stupid ideas, knowing full well I was wrong, but she chose to let me find that out on my own. She talked to me about boys, and what to do about them. She comforted me, and taught me the basics of my gift. She pushed me, but not too hard, to learn everything I could about it. Even when that gift turned out to be the very reason I had to say goodbye to her.

"You find a way to call us if you _ever_ need anything." She told me firmly, "Or I swear, I'll skin you."

The rest of these goodbyes were going to kill me. Tear me to pieces.

"We need to leave soon, princess." Mikah told me softly by the door. I knew he wasn't trying to rush me, but we couldn't afford to be late. I glanced back at him, giving a small nod.

Alice released me, and moved aside with Jasper. Leaving two. I cried harder as they stepped forward. Knowing this was it.

"Oh, honey." Esme whispered, wrapping me into a tight hug, "I know you'll be okay." I sobbed into her shoulder, clinging to her. Trembling with the effort to keep the sobs back. This was one of the hardest goodbyes I'd ever had to give, "Just remember. You'll always have a place here. No matter what, that'll never change. We love you so much, Leandra."

Esme had been so much more of a mom than I ever knew to ask for. She was always there when I needed a mom. Where my mom had failed, she picked me up and showed me what it meant to be loved. She taught me when I had to be homeschooled, and I learned so much more with her than I ever had at school. She supported me when I didn't quite understand something, explaining in a way I would understand. She kept at it, never giving up and never letting me give up.

Plain and simple, she was my mother.

"I love you, mom." I shook in her arms, "I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me." The others were silent as I stepped back, and she took my cheeks in her hands. Wiping the tears from my face, she kissed my forehead. That only resulted in more tears falling from my eyes.

She held my gaze for a moment, before taking one step to the side, her arm around my shoulders. We both looked to Carlisle now. I didn't know this pain was possible. I had no idea before just how much this would hurt.

I knew I had to make this quick, or I'd change my mind.

I stepped forward quickly, already sobbing as I hugged onto him tightly. He wasted no time in returning the hug, wrapping me tighter than anyone had yet. I sobbed openly now, clinging tightly to his shirt.

Remembering clearly how much he'd meant to me since the moment I'd met him, it seemed impossible that I already had to tell him goodbye.

Carlisle was the first one I'd ever decided to trust. Being hurt, so very many times before, he took that challenge and he turned it around. He showed me that it was okay to be afraid, and to be cautious. He always chose to take the harder road, and correct me with words, instead of actions. Teaching me what it was like to have a dad, something I never, ever thought I'd have before.

He taught me hope, and he taught me love. Comfort, support, and guidance. All of the things I'd never had before, he gave to me freely. He showed me that no matter what, I deserved those things. He turned my life around, and he gave me a family.

Every single thing I had in my life now, including still being alive, I owed to him. He was the reason I was still alive, and he was the reason I knew I could be strong.

"I know." He murmured to me, "I know." The emotion in his voice was quiet, but I heard it clear as day. I couldn't stand it. I never imagined such pain was possible. Torn between having to go, and not wanting to leave. If I didn't go now, I wouldn't at all.

"I'll always love you, dad." I cried. I forced myself to step back a little and looked up at him, "That's the only reason I'm doing this at all. I don't want to go, but I have to. I _have_ to."

"Forever." He told me in return, "No matter what." I knew what he was telling me. I'd always be welcome. No matter how I turned out as a vampire. I sobbed, nodded and hugged him one last time.

"Time to go, Leandra." Mikah spoke up again. His voice heavy.

I looked around now as I took a step back, taking one last tearful look at my family. Alice stood in Jasper's arms, looking miserable as I'd ever seen her. She looked to me, meeting my eyes with the same emotions I met hers with. Emmett's arm was around Rose as she stared at the floor. She looked more angry than sad, but I knew it wasn't at me. Emmett was the heartbroken one in that pair. Edward and Bella were both equally sad, Edward's arm around Bella's waist.

I blinked tears from my eyes as I forced myself to step back half a step more, away from Carlisle. Esme stepped to his side, and I couldn't help hugging them both now. This was harder than anything I'd ever had to do before. I couldn't stand it. Esme smoothed my hair down my back, trying to comfort me.

"Thank you." I cried, "So much. For everything."

"Take care of yourself, Leandra." Esme murmured to me, "From now on, it's up to you to be safe."

After that, I turned. I had to leave quick. It took every ounce of willpower I had in me to make myself walk away, to cross the room and head toward a future that was drastically different than what I'd imagined before. Mikah's golden eyes met mine as I made it to him, pulling on my coat quickly.

"You ready?" He asked me quietly, and I sobbed. Forcing a nod. He instantly turned, pulling open the door for me. I looked down at the snow covered porch, hoping I didn't slip, but hoping I did as well. Maybe if I hurt myself, I could stay.

Mikah stepped outside with me, and the cold bit at every inch of exposed skin. He scooped me up off my feet, and I felt his tension. Almost immediately, I was nearly covered in the large flakes falling from the sky. I'd underestimated how cold it'd been.

I closed my tear-filled eyes, and the second I felt the wind passing me, I lost it. Squeezing my eyes shut, and just shattered right there in Mikah's arms. Sobbing breathlessly.

Once far enough away, he stopped. Letting me to my feet, and giving me time to cry without anyone else seeing me. Which I appreciated. This was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but the easiest decision I'd ever made. There was no question I had to do this, but it very, very difficult.

He stood beside me, keeping on the lookout in the trees around us as I sat for a few minutes. just sobbing deeply on the frozen ground.

"I know." He murmured, "I'm so sorry, princess." I was so close to telling him not to take me there. To just take me somewhere else, like I had thought of before, but I bit my tongue, nearly hard enough to bleed, and I shut up. I couldn't do that to them. It was selfish.

So I swallowed my emotion, and told him to keep going.

It didn't take us long to reach the clearing. The wide, very large clearing surrounded by trees on all sides. Covered in snow, it hurt my eyes to look up. I was let down on my feet in the snow, keeping my still weeping eyes on the white beneath me. I prayed Aro wouldn't show, but seconds later, there he was.

"Leandra." His cheerful tone made me close my eyes, "You are magnificent."

I couldn't reply, sniffling quietly. I listened to him stepping closer, only glancing up as he stopped in front of me. How could he be so cheerful when he knew this was hurting me so much? Not only was it hurting me, but it was causing my family pain as well. He knew that. There was no way he couldn't. Anyone with any sort of heart would have changed their minds by then.

"Don't cry, my dear." He murmured to me, "I couldn't bear it if you hated me." I bit my lip, taking a breath. His hands grasped my left hand, pulling it to himself much easier than he'd been able to in the past.

The visions remained the same. I hated the circumstances, but I accepted them. As long as he left my family alone, I'd keep my end of the agreement. Even with how unfair it was to force me to make such an agreement as a terrified eleven year old, I would keep it.

Once again, he released my hand the moment I began to get more information from him than I should have. It bothered me the way he never let me get a good grasp on the situation before he ended the contact.

"Excellent." He smiled down at me as if that hadn't just happened, "Mikah, thank you for delivering her. You may go now." Wait, what?

"What?" Mikah asked, shocked, "I'm supposed to stay with her. It's my job to-"

"Your services are no longer required." Aro told him firmer, "You've done a fabulous job, and you may go." Glancing behind Aro, I noticed Aro wasn't alone. He'd brought certain members of his guard with him, so I turned. Looking back at Mikah. I knew Aro wouldn't offer him freedom a third time, so he'd better take this offer.

He looked to me desperately, and I returned that gaze. I hadn't expected to have to say goodbye to him too.

"May I say goodbye to him first?" I had to ask, looking up at Aro.

"Of course." He replied, "But hurry it along, Leandra. We must be going." I nodded, stepping forward. Wrapping his arms around me, he hugged me tightly. Mikah and I had had our history, however limited it was. Saying goodbye to him, though, was a little easier than saying goodbye to my family.

"I can't go with you." Mikah told me, listening to my sob.

"I know." I cried into his shirt, "Please.. Stay with them?" I looked up, and he looked down at me. He smoothed my tear-stained cheek with his hand.

"I will." He said, giving me a nod, "Take care of yourself, princess. Since I can't do it for you." I nodded again, hugging him tighter briefly before stepping back.

With that, I turned again. Aro's smile met me, and I almost decided to run. I really didn't want this. I hated this. This agreement made as a child was making me suffer now.

Glancing back, I noticed that Mikah was already gone. Probably wanting to make it easier on me to do this. I mumbled a quiet, 'Thank you' off in the direction we'd come.

I managed to take the three steps it took to stand in front of Aro without crying my eyes out, but I trembled. He had to know this was hard for me, and that I was scared, so I took his hand in mine, pressing my palm against his. That way, he would see my thoughts.

At first, he was surprised, but that didn't last long.

"Undoubtedly." He told me a few minutes later, "You will be safe there, my dear. You have my word on that." I sniffled and nodded, unable to speak. His assurances did nothing to calm my fear, though I knew he was being honest with me, but I figured I'd just have to see for myself.

"Let's go." I mumbled, "Before I change my mind."

"That wouldn't be a wise idea, Leandra." He chuckled, but waved the handful of guard members over, "You already know that." He seemed smug, and I knew he had reason to. He got to take me, and there was nothing anyone could successfully do to stop him. I wanted to say something, but was scooped up off my feet before I could.

I held on the best I could as we were suddenly on our way. The realization hit me, and I struggled hard to hold in my emotions again. Since Mikah let me cry, it was ten times easier to do so. It still hurt, though. Leaving absolutely everything I knew behind.

The entire way there, I wondered about my family. What they were up to, how they were dealing with this, and what they said when Mikah came back. I hadn't thought to look for that.

I wondered if any of them had doubted I would make it to this point, or had doubted my willpower. I wondered what they thought about the fact that I had made it to this point, and I wondered how they'd cope. They still had each other, though. They would be fine. We hadn't even gotten there yet, but I was desperately homesick. I'd have given anything to go back.

If I could have just given Aro my gift, I would. In a heartbeat. He could have it. He could take it, and if that meant I could just go home, I would have done it. I didn't even know if that was possible, but I couldn't help thinking about it.

What would it be like to not have to deal with this anymore? I understood that gifts like mine didn't come along very often, but I didn't care. A gift like mine took a whole hell of a lot of patience and time to figure out, but Aro seemed like the type of person who could figure it out fairly quickly. I'd give anything to be normal again, with my own problems. Not everybody else's.

By the time we got there, it was nightfall, and the large, lighted stone building intimidated me at first glance. Aro led us inside, and finally, we weren't running. Giving my mind a chance to catch up to how far we'd traveled in such a short amount of time.

I was let down onto my feet, as the various members that had arrived with us left. My coat was taken with them, but I barely had a chance to protest. I took the hint, though, following Aro directly now, looking around myself. I had to admit, it was tiring to be carried. I preferred to walk. I was both emotionally and physically tired, however. Just so worn out.

I vaguely recognized the room we walked into from the visions I'd had before, but it was strange to be seeing it now in person. I barely paid attention to Aro as he greeted the two others in the room, slowing my stride to look around. I wasn't just leaping into my future here. I was going to have to get used to it first.

"This can't possibly be the same child we met five years ago." Caius seemed surprised to see me now as both he and Marcus stood from their chairs. He was probably not used to the way humans age.

"I assure you, she is." Aro smiled, stepping forward and moving into place between the two of them, "Welcome home, dear Leandra. If there is anything you need, anything at all, don't hesitate in informing one of us. I am sure you're exhausted from the day you've had, so feel free to retire for the evening."

The way Caius looked me over made me very uncomfortable. The slight smile on his face caused me to cross my arms over my stomach insecurely.

"Up the hall," Aro continued, "You'll find the first door on your left is your quarters. I'm sure you'll find it comfortable and quite pleasant." I nodded slightly, wanting nothing more than to just get out from under Caius' gaze, "Again, welcome home. Feel free to request anything you need. You may go now." I quickly nodded, and turned.

"Oh." His next call had me turn back around, "Seven sharp, you'll be brought back in here by the guard posted outside your quarters for the rest of the guard to meet you officially. Be prepared for that." I gave another nod, not comfortable with speaking yet, "Enjoy your night, Leandra."

And just like that, I was dismissed.

I nearly ran down the hall, but managed to keep my cool. That was highly uncomfortable, and I realized I was already dreading the next morning.

The first look around the room impressed me a little. It was huge, but it seemed so cold to me. A huge, four-poster king sized bed sat against the wall across the room, and a nighttable beside it. In the far corner, a rather large stone fireplace held a brightly burning fire. Beside the fireplace, stood a large wardrobe, one of the doors open to reveal all the clothes inside it. It was clear by the glance I got of the articles of clothing inside it that Aro vaguely understood my taste in clothes.

I stepped in fully now, and looked around.

This room had an attached bathroom. Obviously added on for my comfort, but I didn't care about that. It was a very impressive bathroom. Golden fixtures against the stone walls impressed me a little more.

The bathtub was easily large enough to fit four to six people at a time, and I couldn't help wondering why I'd ever need a tub that big. I hated taking baths as it was. Aro should have known that, and the reason behind it.

A seperate shower stood encased in glass beside the tub, so I figured I'd use that.

A sink and vanity stood nearest the door, the toilet beside it. Candles sat along the sink, and the edge of the tub. Flickering gently in the slight breeze in the room, casting almost a romantic glow about the room. The vase of fresh red roses in the corner of the vanity, reflected by the mirror there, only intensified that image. I shivered a little, not liking the sentiment too much.

One thing I couldn't help but notice was the fact that the room had no windows. None, whatsoever. No way to see outside, and no clock on the wall, so I had no possible way to tell how much time was passing. That would drive me crazy after enough time in here.

A long shower didn't sound so bad to me, and so I set out on my task to learn my clothes selection. Choosing to ignore the pendant hanging on the inside of the open wardrobe door. I still hated it, and it was all I could do not to rip it off the hook, and toss it into the fireplace.

Unfortunately, the only pajamas I found were all made out of silk. Very smooth, airy silk. There were three sets of long sleeved and long pants black silk pajamas, and four gowns made out of red lace and black silk. Just looking at the gowns made me blush, so I chose the pajamas with the pants. Of course.

To my embarrassment, I even discovered that my underwear had been chosen as well. Sizes accurate, and all matching sets. Dear god, I wondered, what had I gotten myself into? I should have been used to those articles being bought for me, because Alice did it all the time. There was just something weird about him doing it, I guess.

Soaps and shampoos of all kinds waited for me under the sink, along with every other toiletry I might need. It surprised me to see that he remembered about my human monthly needs.

Four plush black and red bathrobes sat folded on a shelf behind the bathroom door, which I approved of. They looked very comfortable, and something I could probably be comfortable with staying in all day long, if given the chance.

Had he really been able to see my preferences that clearly in my thoughts? Or was it like someone getting a new pet for the first time? Him just doing research on what humans would need to be more than comfortable in a new place? It was hard to pinpoint the exact reason, because it was a little bit of a mix of the two.

I chose the rose scented soap and shampoo set, versus the lavender, and got to work starting the shower. I adjusted the temperature, wanting to burn my sadness away in the water.

I hadn't realized until after I got out of the shower how hungry I was. Having run the entire day, or rather, being carried the entire day, I hadn't eaten anything at all. I decided I'd live with it. Just to avoid having to leave the room tonight.

Tonight, I just wanted to stay in one place. Attempting to get used to the idea of being here.

Once in my pajamas, of course, I cried. I missed everything about my home. Everything and everyone I thought of about how I used to live and where I came from only made me cry harder.

I wanted home. I knew it was silly to be feeling that way now, at my age, but there was nothing I wanted more. This was different, yet very similar to how I felt when they'd left back just after my tenth birthday. It hurt just as much, but this time, I couldn't be confused. I couldn't blame them because this time, I was the one that chose to leave.

The emptiness, and despair was the same. How I felt without them was an emotion I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It hurt so much.

From there, I moved onto blaming myself. Thinking about how much it hurt me to have to leave, I'd never really stopped to consider how much it'd hurt them to have no options to keep me there. How could I have hurt them so much?

There were moments I thought I would die. Crying to hard to get any sort of breath in, I remembered. I remembered everything about home, and what my life with my family had brought me.

They'd given me freedom. Too much sometimes, but freedom, nonetheless. Everything I'd ever needed, and everything I'd had the courage to ask for. Company was what I loved the most. They were always there when I needed them.

I thought about my dad again. Lily was going to have to figure out her teen years on her own. She would be the oldest now. She'd be the one to carry on his family, and give him grandchildren when she was older. That's how it worked.

I didn't even know what time it was when I finally did fall asleep. Curled overtop the thick blanket on the too large bed, one stiff pillow under my head, and another curled against me, I finally fell asleep. Exhausted from crying so much, it shouldn't have surprised me that I managed to. Smelling of roses, and in pajamas that I hardly felt on.

I woke quickly, startled at a loud knock on the door.

"You've got an hour before you're needed." I sat up quickly, yawning deeply at the voice calling into the room. I appreciated the not-so-demanding way he informed me.

"Thank you." I mumbled, trying to wake up. I heard the door close again, knowing I was by myself once more. I felt groggy, still very tired after my night of crying. How would I ever get used to being here? This wasn't home. Everyone here was a stranger, and a very real threat to me.

I climbed out of bed, sighing heavily as I did so.

As with every other time I'd had a rough night, I felt almost emotionally numb. Slowly, very slowly beginning to accept that I was here now. Not there, despite how my thoughts still resided there. I had to be here, and I had to be careful. To do what was asked of me, and to just get through the rest of my life.

I brushed my teeth, brushed out my hair, tied it up into a loose braided bun, and set about getting dressed. I approved of my daytime clothing options, choosing a pure black set. Tight black jeans, and a tight fitting t-shirt. I usually preferred a looser fitting shirt, but this would do. I'd bring it up to Aro later.

My shoes were more of boots, but light ones. Made for females. I'd just finished getting dressed when another knock came to the door. I stepped out, looking up at the one posted beside the door. Instant intimidation piercing me to my spot.

He was big. Not just muscular, but tall. Easily over six foot, closer to seven. I couldn't tell right yet if he was okay, but I think he could tell how nervous I was. His long braided blonde hair laid down his back, and his crimson eyes assessed me briefly.

"Forgetting something?" He asked, and I frowned, looking down at myself until he reached up. Gripping the pendant hanging around his neck, he jingled it briefly.

"Shit." I sighed, turning back around. I jogged over to the wardrobe, grabbed the chain and pendant off the inside of the door, and I slipped it over my head easily.

"You can't forget that." My guard reminded me, "That's a must around here." I nodded, appreciating the tip. I closed my bedroom door behind me, and started up the hall. He followed beside me, stepping stiffly. I wished he'd loosen up.

"What's your name, anyway?" I asked quietly, hoping I wasn't about to make him mad.

He laughed once, making me jump a little at how loud it was, "How rude of me. Here I am, tasked to watch little you, and you don't even know my name." He seemed to find that very amusing, "My name is Aidan. Ironic, isn't it?" I didn't mind him so much. I smiled a little, nodding in agreement, "No need to be shy, little miss. I know how hard it is for you, believe me. I'm at your service, for your convenience." I detected a hint of an irish accent in his voice, but it was smooth. Not heavy, though, like he'd been away from there for a long while.

"That seems a little unfair to you." I commented, glancing up at him.

"I don't see it that way." He said, smiling, "I'm more of a background guard member, anyway. I take my tasks seriously. No matter what it is. I'm just happy Aro chose me."

Aidan wasn't so bad. Maybe I'd been thinking about this all wrong. It worried me before when I went into this thinking I'd be walking into the lion's den. It was quickly becoming apparent to me that I still had a lot to learn about being here.

He led me back into the large round room, and towards the middle of it. Aro greeted me with a smile as all three of them rose to their feet.

"Leandra." Aro greeted, "I trust you slept well?"

"I did." I murmured in reply, surprise in my voice, "Thank you."

"Wonderful." He smiled wider, giving me a nod, "I have asked just the closest members to join us this morning, and the others will get to know you later on. Fifteen, and of course, us."

"Okay." I murmured, understanding now. That made me feel a little better. My mind was showing me the worst case scenarios, me having to fend for myself in a sea of vampires.

He gave me a nod, gesturing I move to his side. I did so easily, and Aro looked to Aidan.

"Let the others know we're ready." Aidan wasted no time, turning instantly and crossing the room. They must have been right behind us, because all he had to do was open the doors.

I couldn't help stepping back. Intimidated by the crowd coming in. Aro's hand found my shoulder easily, holding me a little too tightly. I watched them closely, looking over the members of the guard closest to Aro.

They formed a sort of line easily in the room. Two rows of seven, and one in the very back of them. I was more focused on the bigger ones in the front row, however.

Aro led me closer and despite how I trembled lightly, I stayed directly beside him. Their eyes followed me collectively, until we stopped.

"This human is mine." Aro spoke, his voice echoing back to us, "Learn her scent, and learn it well. She is strictly off limits."

He turned us, and walked us along the line seven guard members in the front, and around down the row of seven in the back, varying in height and build. Walking us slowly. Giving each of them a chance to breath in my scent heavily. Until we reached the end.

"As a token of my appreciation," Aro spoke to me now, "I want you to meet someone from your past." His hand still on my shoulder, I looked up at him as he led me around the end of the second row, to stand in front of the one in the back.

I looked up at the one standing there, and I almost recognized him. His untidy brown hair fell into his eyes almost the same way I remembered from three years before. His eyes, no longer blue, but a deep crimson, squinted a little in the way he smiled at me. Even as I had grown, he still stood at least four inches taller than me.

"Leandra." His voice sounded the same, but completely different. It was almost like staring straight at a living memory of him. Different, but still so much the same, "You've grown up."

I barely managed to hold myself back from stepping forward quickly and hugging him the way I always used to. Three years was a long time to go without seeing one of the best friends I ever had.

I wasn't sure if that was acceptable, until Aro chuckled.

"Well," He said, "Greet each other." I wasted no time. I took the two steps quickly, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly as he returned the embrace. Spinning me around easily, he breathed in my scent as I laughed. The sound partially a laugh, but mostly a sob of happiness this time. His arms squeezing my waist, holding me tightly to him.

I cried, relief at seeing him again overtaking any other emotion I might have felt before. He finally stopped spinning me, letting me on my feet but continuing to hold me against him. Slowly, he softly placed his forehead against mine, and the smile on my face softened at the gesture as my eyes closed.

I hadn't fully realized before just how much I had missed Josh.

For a good while, he'd been the only one I'd been brave enough to get close to. I hadn't dared getting close to anyone since him. Though he'd been fifteen when he was turned, somehow it felt like nothing had changed between us. Technically, I was a year older than him now.

"I'm so glad you enjoy my gesture, Leandra." Aro spoke behind me.

"Thank you." I realized then, as I looked back at him, that tears trailed softly down my cheeks, "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, my dear." He smiled, "You'll have access to each other as often as you want." I nodded, "But for right now, I'm afraid I'll need your gift, Leandra. We've got some work to do." I really didn't want to let him go, but he softly kissed the end of my nose, and gently pushed me back by my hips.

He understood, I could see, that what Aro said, went. I knew that too, of course, but I had been willing to forget that. Just for a little while.

"We'll catch up later." He told me gently, and I nodded.

I took a breath and stepped back. Coming to stop beside Aro once again, leaving Josh's arms. He gave me a comforting smile, and I returned it. Sniffling, trying to compose myself after the sudden happiness stealing my hold on myself.

I watched from Aro's side as he dismissed everyone there, and they left. Josh giving me one last smile before he left the room completely. I couldn't wait to see him again.

I couldn't believe how drastically my mood had changed at just seeing him, but being happy was better than being depressed. I'd take it.

"Working" with Aro no longer hurt me, but it exhausted me. This time around, I saw things I really could have gone my entire life without seeing. Things that had absolutely nothing to do with me, but others. Multiple others, and the decisions they made that would eventually effect the rules and balance the Volturi had to uphold.

About mid-morning was when I was finally allowed a short break to eat. I didn't care that it was only fruit. I would have eaten anything by then, if only to get away from the images now burned into my mind.

"Aro." I spoke before he could take my hand again, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He smiled, and I couldn't help noticing Caius looking on in curiosity, "You can always ask me anything."

"Does my being here help you?" I asked quietly, "I mean, is it easier to do your job, or am I just something to play with?" I had kept my tone as respectful as I could. It would be some time, I knew, before I could speak my mind. I knew the answer to this, of course.

He could do his job just fine without me. He'd spent untold amounts of time already proving that, but as for me, I was a tool. Something that would make it even easier for him to torment and bully others into doing what he wanted them to do. I'd known that all along, but it was something I couldn't shake yet.

I wanted to hear it from him.

"Of course not." He told me, very false concern in his voice, "You're a very valuable individual, Leandra." That wasn't what I asked. He was avoiding that answer.

"You.." I paused, "You could do just fine without me." I reminded him, "Why do you need me?"

"My dear," He smiled softly, "It's not that I need you, but I want you. I want you to feel comfortable with those as powerful as yourself. You deserve nothing less than the finest."

"What I don't understand," I said, standing from my seat, "Is why you feel the need to lie to me. You can't hide the truth for very long, Aro. I know you don't need me, and I know you're only using my gift for your own selfish greed." Perhaps I'd been wrong about how long it would take before I'd speak my mind.

He was clearly entertained, however.

"I've known since you first took my hand that you only want someone with an ability like mine, so you can use it to gain more power. I don't think that's fair, and no, I don't agree with it." I paused, crossing my arms, "You decided I belonged to you. Fine. You took me from the place I wanted to be, with my family, because you wanted someone like me. I didn't choose to come here. You chose for me, and I went along with it for the sake of my family, so I think that the very least you can do is be honest with me!"

I was surprised to find that Caius had the shortest temper of the three of them. Taken roughly by the neck, I was pushed back into the chair. Him squeezing just enough to make me sit still as he leaned over me, inches from my face as he looked me square in the eye. So close, I could smell his breath as he spoke to me.

"You ask far too many questions than is safe." He growled almost silently, "I think it's best we just move on now. Don't you?" Fear stole my breath as his thumb rubbed circles against the side of my neck. Right over the artery that carried the most blood, "Hmm?" I nodded in his hand, and he grinned, "Good. No more questions?"

I shook my head in reply this time, and he chuckled. Releasing me.

"Wonderful." Aro smiled, "Let's get started again, shall we?"

**A/N: Okay. So lots of things going on at once here. There's the sadness/depression at leaving her family. The happiness at seeing Josh again (*Kids cheer*) and then there's getting bullied by Caius for very slightly losing her temper at Aro. No wonder this took me awhile to get out.  
So.. I know I didn't give much time for others to review, but THANK YOU to those that reviewed the first chapter, and yes. More emotions were to come. Tell me truthfully. Did I make anyone cry? _Any_one?  
Chapter three has already been started, and should be out within the next couple of days. Lurk amongst my facebook page, my lovelies, and you will be updated beyond your wildest dreams. *Cue dramatic music* (Facebook: KNeu Neu)  
Okay. Time to sleep. I'm getting weird.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT NOTE: Adulty themes in this chapter. Nothing too descriptive, but worth a heads up. You know me. I like to be cautious. Onward!**

**Chapter Three**

I sighed, laying back across my bed. I was so worn out, I had to snooze a little. I hadn't known how much this would take out of me. It no longer hurt me to have him manipulate my gift like that, but it exhausted me.

It was still new to me, and I knew I had a lot to get used to. I had to get used to using my gift everyday. Or, having someone else use my gift for their own advantage everyday. That bothered me, but I knew I had no choice, so why dwell on how much it bothered me?

The knock at the door had me look up, "Yeah?"

The door opened, and I smiled tiredly at Josh stepping in, closing the door behind himself. I couldn't help myself, climbing to my feet and crossing the room to hug him again. He accepted my hug easily, but I felt how careful he had to be now. His arms wound around me, and I was surprised at the sudden rush of emotion. I'd missed him so very much.

"So tell me." He murmured after a minute of standing there with me, "What happened?" I pulled back a little, looking up at him, "After I was taken, what happened?" His tone suggested his hesitation. Almost like he was afraid to hear the story. I was afraid to tell him, knowing he wouldn't like it.

"You might want to sit down." I mumbled, stepping back. I led him over to the bed, and we sat down. He had to have expected this to not be a pleasant story. Given how much his family meant to him, and how much I meant to him, it was bound to hurt him. I hated the thought of hurting him, but I knew we couldn't fully catch up without him knowing.

I took a breath, looking down, "Mikah kept anything from happening to me that night. He took me back before he found you, so I was fine. Hung over, but fine." He and I laughed a little, sadness coloring the sound, "They searched everywhere for you. Ken, Mike, and even Richard helped. We had no idea what happened to you. It killed Zack. It killed all of us, because we knew you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't just leave like that."

He looked down, "How did it go? Between Ken and you? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No." I said instantly, "No. He almost had the chance to, but Mikah warned him to keep his distance."

"Remind me to thank Mikah, then." He murmured, "For everything he did that night." I nodded, making a mental note to thank him for the both of us if I ever saw him again.

"We eventually cut the trip short." I continued, "And went home. Mikah made me tell my family everything, so I stopped everything after that. I got my shit together, and stopped smoking, and drinking."

"I'm glad." He smiled a little, nodding.

"Me too." I admitted, "Even if quitting smoking did completely suck."

"Did it?" He asked, chuckling a little.

"Oh yeah." I couldn't help returning the laugh, "That was a week of pure hell."

"There are worse things." He assured me, "It was better to have quit then, instead of keeping the habit until you're older."

"I noticed that too." I said, "Had I kept it up, it would have been much harder to quit later on. I'm never doing that again."

"Well, definitely not now.." He mumbled, glancing around the room. I knew what he meant. I was here under constant watch, so that didn't surprise me.

"No shit." I laughed, and he chuckled along with me. Our laughter faded, and it was silent for a minute. I didn't really know how to continue, so I figured it was better to just try. Seeing my smile fade, his did as well.

"Josh, there's something you need to know." I murmured, "About Zack."

"What about him?" He asked, interested now.

I was quiet for a moment, "Do you remember what we talked about that day? The day before you went missing that night? How you hoped the way Jack was wasn't genetic?" He nodded a little, "Well, I think it is. That, or Ken was spending too much time with him, because.. Well, Zack changed."

"Changed?" He frowned, "Changed how?"

I was quiet, unsure how to continue.

"Leandra?" He asked, leaning closer. This was going to be the hard part.

"Andrew called me one day." I mumbled, "And told me I needed to get to your house, because Zack was demanding I be there. I thought he was about to kill himself or something, so I got there as fast as I could." His eyes narrowed, probably not liking how this was going.

"He wanted to demand answers from me, which he got. He found out that Jack and Ken were my doing, and he blamed me for your disappearance as well." I trailed off, looking down, "He wasn't very nice about anything after that."

It was difficult for me to talk about. It always had been, but it was harder now, because if I eventually found the way to tell him, I'd essentially be telling him that his own brother had turned into something worse than either of us had imagined possible.

"What happened?" He asked gently, recognizing my mood change.

He reached out, taking my hand in his, and I looked back up. The concerned way he looked into my eyes threatened to take my hold on myself, just as the happiness had taken it. I had to look down, just to try to keep my tears from falling.

"There's no easy way to really.. Say this.." I mumbled, "I haven't spoken to him much in the last three years. W-What he said to me, and.. W-What he did.." I trailed off.

"Leandra?" His tone was angry now, "Tell me. What did he do?" I shook my head a little, keeping my eyes down. His hand came up, touching my chin and bringing my eyes up to meet his, "What did he do to you?"

"Josh, when you left.." I sighed, standing, "We all lost it." I was stalling. I really didn't want to admit it. Mostly because it still hurt, "Something about losing you, made all of us lose a part of ourselves, you know? Zack, he.." I trailed off again, shaking my head, "He just.. He lost more than everyone else. I guess he just felt so abandoned, a-and that really does change people. I know-"

"What did he do, Leandra?" He stood as well, "Tell me he didn't.." He trailed off now. I sighed, biting my lip. I knew what he meant. I wanted to tell him that he didn't. I wanted to tell him that more than anything, but I couldn't truthfully do so. He took my silence as answer, and took a breath.

"I'll kill that little fucker." He growled, and I looked up.

"No." I said, "You won't. Josh, he's your brother."

"No, you don't understand." He told me firmly, "When we found out what Jack did to you, we promised each other _never_ to turn out like that. Our dad raised us better than that. There is _no_ excuse for that!" I had to look back down.

It was quiet for a few seconds, until he sighed, stepping forward. Stopping directly in front of me. His hands took both of mine, entwining our fingers gently. Pressing his forehead against mine again.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I just can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you. Much less, my own brother."

His hands tightened around mine, ever-so-slightly, and I saw the emotions clearly in his eyes. He was angry at first, but that faded to a very distinct pain. I decided to continue. To finish this subject.

"I couldn't be there for him after that." I shook my head a little, "I couldn't. The best I could do was tell your dad not to punish him for it."

"Why not?" He asked, shocked, "Leandra, what he did-"

"Wasn't his fault." I said, "I don't blame him for it. Not knowing who he's related to."

"He hurt you." He reminded me, "You'd have to be the most unselfish person not to blame him for it, or insane."

"I know." I said, nodding as I looked back down, "I suggested they get him help instead, but not to punish him."

He sighed, shaking his head a little.

"What did your family do about it?" He asked, "They do know, don't they?"

"How could they not?" I asked quietly in return, "There was no way in hell I could hide how much what he did hurt me." I sighed, "They didn't do anything. As much as they wanted to, I didn't want them to. Unless you count.." I trailed off, smirking. I'd almost forgotten about that. The "revenge" that didn't turn out so well, all thought up by Renesmee. She was a stubborn little thing when she wanted to be.

"You're smiling." He pointed out, "I take it's a good thing?"

"Well, not so much." I laughed a little, "You remember Renesmee, right?"

"Right." He nodded, "Edward's cousin, or something."

"His daughter." I clarified, absolutely loving the way I could be honest with him now. Understanding came to his eyes after a few seconds, and he nodded slowly.

"That explains it." He murmured, "We'll talk more about that in a second, but continue."

"We got arrested." I could barely get that out before he was laughing. I couldn't help joining him a little, "It was very traumatizing. Don't laugh at me." I shoved him a little, letting him lead me back to the bed. We sat down on the side of it, facing each other.

"What'd you do?" He chuckled.

"We got caught egging your house." He only laughed harder at that.

"That's why you never get caught, silly! I bet dad loved that." He laughed, "Can't say he didn't deserve it."

"That's probably why he decided to let us go." I replied, sighing.

"Good." He said, "I'm glad he wasn't a complete asshole. Had it been any of us, he'd have paid the cops to keep us there. Just to make sure the lesson stuck."

"So," I said after a minute more of his laughter, "What did you mean before? That explains what?"

"Oh," He said, recovering, "Well, I've been here for three years. I never understood Aro's fascination with your family. I'd overhear, and I asked about it once. All he told me was that you'd be coming to stay in a few years, but I suspected it was more. The fact that Edward has a daughter, I'm assuming biological, is big news."

"I can understand why." I said, "Nobody had any idea it was possible before. For.." I trailed off slightly, "You know, for humans and vampires to.."

"Yeah." He chuckled quietly, "Who knew?"

After that awkward subject, we both looked down.

And so we caught up. Talking the rest of the day, and partly into the night. Or so I assumed.

I learned his place here, and how many friends he'd made. He was with Aidan, in the background. He was still too new to be considered part of the guard yet, but he was there for extra help. He'd spent the last three years learning self-control, and about that way of life.

Needless to say, it had been a shock to him. Thankfully, he didn't remember anything about Mikah biting him, or even how he got here. The only thing he remembered was the intense pain, and waking up. He barely remembered that night, and I had to ask.

"Why'd you walk away?" I asked quietly, "I needed you to stay with me."

"I don't even know." He sighed sadly, "I know I should have stayed with you, but I didn't have the best judgement back then, you know? All I really remember is.. Getting up, and being asked about you by a couple of Matt's friends. I got mouthy, and defensive, and told them to leave you alone. That's it."

Josh had to leave after a little while more. Aidan poking his head in and telling him to scram. That I needed to rest. I walked him out, deciding to take another shower before bed. Not that I had even done anything strenuous, but I was getting used to the smell of roses.

I eventually laid down, more tired than I thought I was. Falling to sleep easily, I couldn't help it. The last couple of days had been some of the worst in my life. The only upside being Josh.

And so it went on like that. First one month, then two. Every other day, Aro requested my presense in the large round room up the hall. I lost count of how many people I'd unintentionally caused to die. I hated this, but I was adjusting.

Waking myself up before I was needed, giving myself enough time to shower in the morning now. Josh came and went as he pleased, but he mostly stayed for as long as he could. It surprised me to find that I had more responsibilities than he had.

Just as I had predicted, I wasn't allowed anywhere alone. I was surprised enough at having my own room to go to, but it bothered me. I couldn't leave it. Aidan was instructed to keep me there unless absolutely necessary.

What bothered me the most, was the complete lack of privacy. I knew no matter how quiet we spoke, someone would hear us. Each word, each laugh, each movement, they would hear. One thing I was grateful for, was the fact that whenever Josh was in the room with me, very few interruptions came to the door.

When Josh wasn't there, I'd stand there, staring into the fireplace.

Thinking about my family. Though I hardly cried anymore, I desperately wanted to go home. I didn't belong here. Here, I was so tired. Worn down all the time. It had been quite some time since I'd felt this way.

I was tired, so very tired the first day of the third month I was there, but I went into the round room like usual. I could hardly hold Aro's gaze, but I stood there, letting him use my gift as he pleased.

Today was different, however. After only seconds, I had to yank my hand away suddenly. I didn't like what he made me see.

"What was that?" I demanded, "What are you doing?" I was upset, very upset.

"Now, Leandra-"

"Don't use that tone with me!" I cried now, and I didn't even know why. The vision wasn't anything bad. Not in the least, but he was looking at my family. It bothered me that he would use me to spy on them.

"Calm yourself." Caius barked, glaring from across the room.

"No." I sobbed, my eyes still on Aro, "You can't do that!" Aro reached for my hand again, and I hid them behind my back, "You can't do that! I won't be your way to look at them!" I took a step back, glaring.

"Leandra." Aro's tone held a warning now. I hadn't resisted him before. Never. Not once, but I had limits. I cried, shaking my head.

"You know I don't want to force you." He murmured. I watched him walk closer, "But I will if I have to."

"I can't see them." I whimpered, my hands still hidden behind my back, "It still hurts too much."

"I don't see the problem, Leandra, to be honest." He reached forward, taking my arm and pulling it from behind my back, "You had absolutely no purpose there. Wouldn't you like having some sort of sense of accomplishment? Knowing you're with the very best?"

"I had the very best." I argued, "Now I'm just _used_." He clearly didn't like my disrespect, and I honestly had no idea where it had come from. Something about seeing my family made me defensive, "I said no!"

I yanked at my arm in his grip, but this time, he wasn't letting go.

"One more try, shall we?" Aro asked pleasantly, though I knew he was growing impatient. Holding tight to my arm, he took my struggling hand in his own, flattening my palm against his, and quickly enveloping it with his other. He knew I had no choice whether I wanted to show him or not.

Once again, I saw them. My family. They were still together, and still at the house. Depending on what Aro decided, going there and bragging or not, definitely depended on what would happen. One way, him deciding not to, they'd be fine. The other way, him deciding to, they wouldn't.

He made me see the result of that. Just for punishment, and to teach me what would happen if I continued to disobey.

Aro going there to brag would make Emmett lose his temper, and it all fell apart from there.

Keeping our hands connected, he lowered with me as my knees no longer supported me. I cried harder now as I kneeled there, still being shown what would happen. By our connected hands, Aro could see the result of what would happen.

Two members of my family remained, and no one else made it. I felt the emotion so strongly, it stole my breath. Knowing their pain, and my own. All it would take to make that happen, was him deciding to go there. All it would take to make him decide to go there, was to keep acting up this way.

I couldn't disobey again. My quiet sobs echoed back to me in the room, pain screaming in the quiet sounds.

At that thought, he released my hand briefly, ending the vision abruptly as he took my upper arms in his hand and pulling me closer. His grip tight on my arms, I attempted a weak struggle. I hated him. I _hated_ him.

"I won't stand for disobedience, Leandra." He told me quietly, "I don't know where you might have gotten the idea that I will, but I will not be lenient. Do I make myself clear?" I nodded immediately, tears falling from my eyes, "You're my property. I highly suggest you get used to that, and stop this nonsense." He released me, and I had to support myself with my hands on the marble floor. Trying to catch my breath as he rose to his feet.

Seeing that hurt me all over again. Just when I was beginning to get adjusted, the wounds reopened, and I fully realized. I was with the one person that was most dangerous to my family. He gives the word, and it could all be wiped clean. That thought alone broke my heart all over again.

"I want to go home." I sobbed, staying kneeled there on the floor. The only response I got to that was a chuckle. He knew I couldn't, and I knew that too. I had to tell him, though. Even when I knew it was never going to happen.

I glanced up, watching as he straightened his jacket.

"You are home." Caius told me, boredom in his tone, "This is getting quite tiresome."

I realized, however, that by giving me that vision, Aro gave me other ones as well. Most importantly, his consideration of Josh and I. I didn't get much from that, just that he was watching us.

Seeing my expression had changed from one of heartbreak, to one of confused concern, Aro spoke down at me.

He smiled, "Why don't you go rest? We're finished for today." I couldn't just see anyway, because he wasn't decided, but it was was the fact that he wasn't decided on Josh and I that had me concerned.

"I want to know." I said, "What are you looking for in us?"

"We are done." He told me firmer, "For today. You may go." I held his gaze for a moment longer, before looking down, and giving a nod. It would have been a very stupid move to continue pushing him today. He was giving me a chance to get the hell out of his sight before that happened.

I stood up shakily, and turned, heading for the door.

I closed my bedroom door behind me, and crossed the room to my bed. Falling face down onto it. What was Aro planning? Absolutely nothing. Did I have reason to be worried then?

Absolutely.

"Sleeping?" I jumped a little at Josh's voice suddenly behind me. Rolling over, I looked up at him.

"No." I mumbled, "Though I wish I could. I just want to sleep for a thousand years."

"Then you'd miss out on so much." He told me playfully, sighing as he laid onto the bed beside me. I turned, rolling over to face him. It was quiet for a few moments as he reached out and stroked my cheek.

"I heard." He finally said quietly, "I heard you crying." I looked down, closing my eyes. I wished he wouldn't have heard that, "What did he show you?"

"What would happen if I kept being disrespectful and disobedient."

"I'm sorry." He said, "Aro isn't one to piss off, though."

"I know." I mumbled, "I don't even know why I did. I think I'm just so tired."

"It's no wonder." He replied, "He's been working you too hard. Going from never using your gift, to using it all the time, is bound to cause some problems." I left my eyes closed, comforted by the feeling of his hand on my cheek, "You're only human, Leandra. Something like that is going to wear you down."

"This is so weird." I muttered, opening my eyes to look up at him, "It's like nothing about you has changed. You're exactly the same as I remember you. Well, personality wise, anyway." He smiled as I did.

"That's a good thing, right?" He asked and I laughed a little, rolling back to my back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Right." I replied, "That's a good thing."

"Because," He sighed, moving until he was laying on top of me, "You have changed." My heart sped up, feeling his weight on me. We'd laid like this before, so to him, it was probably no big deal, but this made me nervous. Like it had when Andrew had done the same.

It was about the same position, too. The only difference being he held his weight on both forearms on either side of me, instead of only one. Our stomachs pressed against each other's. He wasn't particularly heavy, but I struggled for breath. Nervousness stealing my breath.

"I have?" I asked quietly, looking up into his eyes.

"Yes." He answered, "For one, you're even more beautiful than when I last saw you." He smiled, stroking my cheek again and causing another smile of my own. Until his faded to sadness, "Two, you never would have let anyone own you before. I have to admit. This, seeing you giving in so easily, bothers me."

"I have no choice." I said up at him, "By giving in, I'm keeping my family safe. I owe them my life. I'd give it any day of the week if it meant they're alright."

"But sacrificing your own happiness?"

"I don't care." I said firmly, "If they're safe, I'm happy enough with that. So I'll do whatever I have to do, for as long as I have to do it to do that."

He went quiet, searching my eyes with an expression of both amazement and confusion. I never got over how strange it was for me to see his eyes crimson, instead of the normal ice blue.

"I can't tell you how much I've missed you." He finally murmured, shaking his head, "How worried I was that you'd be angry with me."

"I was at first." I admitted quietly, "Before everyone thought you were dead, I was mad at you. Because I thought you had walked off."

"I would never do that." He replied and I sighed.

"I knew that." I said, "I was the one telling everyone that, including myself, but I just wasn't so sure of it myself." I was clear he didn't know what to say to that, looking to the side briefly.

"I missed you too." I murmured, and he looked back down at me, "But this," I squeezed his arms with my hands, "Is a lot easier now." He slowly smiled, knowing I was right.

Before, I was still so much smaller than him, that this position was a lot harder. Now, I matched him evenly size-wise. It was difficult to describe how I felt under him now. Before, it was more of a playful thing. Now, though, it was as if something more waited there between us. It was something I felt, and he felt too. An unspoken sort of emotion that wouldn't, and couldn't, be ignored for long.

I didn't know what it meant, but I didn't try too hard to understand it.

I'd always heard, from Mikah and I'd even overheard Edward talking about it, that it was difficult for vampires to kiss humans. Doing so would make the thirst so much worse, and make it nearly impossible not to bite.

But he managed to.

It was strange now, to kiss him and not have him run away, but this made me feel like it always used to. I could swear he was holding his breath, but that didn't take anything from the kiss.

But the moment his lips touched mine, I blushed almost painfully. I was actually thankful I wasn't standing, or I would have fallen.

I'd kissed Mikah before, but that was back when he was still a near stranger to me, and that was only as a failed attempt at freedom. This was much different. This was _something_. This wasn't impulsive, but something that I had waited three years for a chance at again. Neither of us just a kid anymore.

He broke the kiss just enough, and I felt his smile against my lips.

"Your heart's going crazy." He pointed out, and I had yet to open my eyes.

"I know." I whispered shakily, unable to make my voice any stronger than that. I couldn't breathe, but I wanted more, so I kissed him this time. He accepted it like it didn't even bother him. The moment his lips touched mine again, I had to gasp in a breath. I felt like I was suffocating, but dying never felt so right.

His hands came up, cupping my overheated cheeks between them, and the way his icy skin felt on my burning skin felt amazing. It felt even better when his right hand traveled down, softly trailing over my neck, and over my shoulder. Through my shirt sleeve, I could feel the cold temperature of his skin. Further lower his hand trailed, down my arm until he reached my stomach and hip.

I about had a heart attack as his fingers lightly slipped under the bottom of my shirt just enough to tickle the skin of my lower stomach above the waistband of my jeans. Gasping, I jumped a little.

I decided then that I was becoming too comfortable like this, so I had to move. I pushed on his chest, finally opening my eyes as he broke the kiss. I gasped for breath I would have traded more kissing for, and I let my head fall back.

"Right." He chuckled, pushing himself up on straight arms now, "Sorry."

"Don't be." I panted, shaking my head, "It was.. Just getting to be too fun." He nodded, rolling off me, and to the side. I instantly missed his weight over me, but I wouldn't mention that to him. I was confused enough as it was.

A quiet knock on the door had me sitting up, straightening my shirt. I glanced to Josh as he looked to me, smiling a little.

"Come in." I mumbled, unable to help returning his smile.

"Everything okay in here?" Aidan asked, looking to the two of us on the bed. I nodded, taking a deep breath, "You're sure?"

"Positive." I laughed a little, nodding again.

"Alright." He said skeptically, "I just wanted to let you know that according to Aro, you have the next week off."

"Off?" I asked, surprised, "Won't he need me?"

"It's his form of being generous." He answered, smiling a little, "I highly suggest you take it."

"Oh, of course." I laughed a little, "I'm definitely not turning it down." He chuckled in response.

"Just let me know if you need anything." Aidan told me, giving me a nod.

"I will." I replied, "Thanks, Aidan."

I watched him turn, leaving the room. As soon as the door was closed, I flopped back with a heavy sigh of relief. Falling back onto my back, I closed my eyes.

We laid together that night, neither of us saying a word. He laid on his back, my head on his chest. His left arm around my shoulders, tickling the skin of my arm while our hands entwined.

I snoozed, but I was mostly awake. Not wanting to miss a moment of his arms around me. The fire casting more of a comforting glow than I remembered before. Up until now, he'd never spent the night with me. Always having to leave before dinner, as per Aro's orders. To make sure I wasn't up too late.

Since I had the next week off, to do as I pleased, he wouldn't shoo Josh away. He could stay as long as he wanted with me. Which I appreciated very much. I loved this. This was comforting after the day I'd had, and this was everything I needed.

I didn't know how much time had passed. Too comfortable to move, enjoying the silence too much to speak, until he suddenly moved.

"I want to show you something." He murmured quietly, sitting up and pulling me with him, "I want to take you somewhere."

"I don't know if I'm allowed." I mumbled sleepily, "I think I have to stay here."

"It's worth a try, right?" He smiled, taking my hand and helping me up off the bed, and onto my feet. I hesitated for a moment, realizing I was about to go exploring in my black silk pajamas and bare feet, but I suddenly didn't care. Changing into daytime clothes would have been too planned, and the whole perk of this was the impulsiveness of it. He held onto my hand and crossed the room, tugging me behind him.

Opening the door, just as I figured, we were stopped by Aidan.

"Back inside, kids." He told us firmly, "I can't just go letting you two have the run of the place."

"Just.. Thirty mintues." Josh said, "That's all I ask."

"Thirty minutes is too long." Aidan replied, shaking his head, "Go on back in there, before I have you leave."

I took Josh's arm in my free hand, "Josh, maybe-"

"Is there a problem?" Shit. Aro had heard us. We all watched him approach, looking to me first.

"The kid wants to run off with Leandra." Aidan replied simply, "And I'm trying to tell him-"

"That it's perfectly acceptable." Aro interrupted, surprising all three of us. He smiled to Josh, and I hid a bit behind him.

"But, you said-" Aidan tried.

"Anyone else but Josh attempts through that door, you have every right to stop them." Aro clarified, "I trust him completely."

"Oh." Aidan said, as surprised as I was, looking to me, "Then I guess it's fine. Go ahead, guys." Josh stepped to the side, tugging me along with him yet again.

"Enjoy yourselves." Aro called after us as we headed up the hall.

"That was weird." I muttered as he led me up a few flights of stairs, "Normally, he has to know where I'm at _all_ the time."

"Maybe he knows he was being unfair," Josh suggested, "And wants to make up for it."

"Doubtful." I mumbled, still following. Yawning deeply, I wondered where he was taking me.

Up one flight of stairs, and up another. He led me into an upper room, and I saw immediately where he was taking me. At the very top of the clock tower, there was a sort of outside room. Open on two sides, with two large, open arched windows.

The sun had yet to rise, but already I could see that the view was breathtaking from up this high. Though I couldn't help admiring the beauty of the area. The fresh air up here was more than enough to make me smile. The breeze surrounding me, and despite how cold it made me, I didn't mind it. Not in the least.

He turned me, facing me as his hands landed on my hips in front of the open arched window, and he pulled me close. I smiled a little up at him, my arms resting on his shoulders. His forehead pressed softly against mine, and we stood like that for a moment. Until I finally saw why he thought to bring me here.

When the sun would rise, it hit the clock tower before anything else, making the light that surrounded us not a pale blue anymore, but a bright orange. After standing there for a moment or two, it was pleasantly warm, and my tired eyes closed.

I was so close to being content right then, it amazed me to realize it. I never wanted him to leave my side. I wanted him to be this close to me forever.

His hands left my hips long enough to softly cup my cheeks again, and he kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, not demanding anything, but more like letting me know he was there. A silent, unspoken promise to always do everything in his power to be there for me.

"I love you." He murmured against my lips, and I smiled a little, opening my eyes and looking up at him. Both surprised at hearing those words from him, and slightly overwhelmed by how close he was to me.

It wasn't necessary to say it back to him, but it was how I honestly felt. When I could open my eyes, and look to him, knowing he'd be there for as long as he could, I knew I loved him. When it felt like taking a breath to say those words in return, almost a relief, I knew I loved him. When I could know, without a single doubt in my mind, that he matched me in every way, I knew I loved him.

It wasn't a knee-jerk response. It was the truth.

"I love you, too." I murmured in response, and his returning smile made my head spin.

This wasn't the same love I had for my family, I quickly realized. This wasn't the same. It was such a different kind of love, both painful and amazing at the same time. Taking my breath, and giving me a feeling I never had before.

I loved him. Without a doubt in my mind, I loved him. I never imagined it would feel like this. Making me feel so weak, but giving me an undeniable and indescribable strength.

He held me tighter in response to my words, obviously overjoyed. He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me a little and spinning me slowly. Kissing me excitedly, and letting me back down on my feet, he pressed another kiss to my forehead as I rested my head against his chest. My arms wrapped so tight around him, looking out over the city.

"I can't tell you how happy that makes me." He told me quietly, and I smiled.

"I think I can imagine." I sighed, hugging tighter to him.

He took me back not long later, his quiet footsteps echoing slightly in the stone hallways. Aidan smiled at us as we passed him, headed back into my room.

I was so tired by then, I slept most of the day. Comforted by the way Josh stayed with me, I slept better than I had since coming here. I lay on my left side, him right behind me. Spooning with me, and holding me close by his arm draped over my stomach. Now and then softly kissing the back of my head.

I still missed my family, more than words could ever describe, but spending this time with Josh made me feel better.

It became clear to me that there was no limit to how much I could feel for one person. Just when I thought I couldn't love him any more, he'd say something or do something that would make me fall for him even more. The way he made me laugh, never failed to cheer me up when my mood would drop, or just laying there with me. Passing the time like it meant nothing.

It was nice, actually, to be able to relax. To sleep as long as I wanted, and sort of refresh. Maybe that was the reason I was suddenly acting out. I knew not to do that.

By the end of the week, I felt better. When I walked into the round room once that week was up, my smile gave away how much better I actually did feel about being there. Much to Aro's appreciation. A happier me meant he could get his job done without too much complaint from me. The worst was how eager I was to get it done so I could go back to being with Josh.

Perhaps that was his goal all along, but somehow, that didn't matter to me. It really was no secret how much Josh had always meant to me, but now that I was older, that had only increased. Aro had been more and more lenient with me, to my surprise. When it came to Josh, I could get away with anything. As long as I showed up eventually, with a small smile constantly on my face, he didn't care.

Josh spent the majority of my period weeks away, however, but I didn't blame him for that. He still visited me for awhile each day. When he wasn't with me, I'd spend most of my time either reading something from Aro's book collection, or thinking about him. Or both. More often than not, both.

Two more months passed, and surprisingly, I hardly noticed. I'd been here for five months already, and I found myself dwelling less and less on how my family was coping. One day at a time, and I found that easier to do with being able to look forward to Josh every day.

I refused to admit to myself. I was infatuated. I refused to admit it, because it scared me. New emotions always had scared me, but this was different. I didn't feel like myself anymore, and I still couldn't tell yet if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

The knock at the door that night, had me instantly jumping off the bed and scooting across the room. Excitedly pulling open the door for the one I knew was there. Josh returned my smile, before his eyes took in what I chose to wear to bed that night.

I should have known tonight would be different. The way I felt about him had only continued to grow, and it had to peak at some point. And, I reasoned with myself, I was only trying to get used to wearing the black and red, silk and lace gowns in case nobody did the laundry in time for me to have my normal pajamas back.

That was a pure lie, but that was my lie, and I was sticking to it.

Greeting him like I always did, with a tight hug and a kiss, the way his hands held my hips felt different to me now. I sensed the change in him immediately, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.

He wasn't angry, or even mad, but there was something in his eyes that made me nervous. It made me nervous, because I knew I shared that look. This time, when we kissed, it meant something completely different.

There was something more than just love behind it. More than just sweet emotions. There was an almost fury behind it, full of need. My need, and his. Something that had been there since we first saw each other again, and something neither of us could ignore anymore.

The door closed behind us as we were suddenly across the room with me laid across the bed, and him kneeling over me. Our kissing never interrupted, which was what I preferred. Him already touching every bit of skin he could find, and me not about to stop him this time.

The door wouldn't open again until morning.

**A/N: Bad girl!  
I'm aware of how incredibly short this is, but I have a vision of this story, and it has to happen lol  
I also apologize for how rushed this seems. I didn't want to have sixteen chapters of nothing but her moping around all day. I have enough of those already lol  
_THANK YOU_ to my reviewers! I got five this time around! Woohoo! :D  
I look forward to your thoughts on this one, and I really hope it's not too 'Adulty' for those of you who sneak looks, and shouldn't. *points* You know who you are lol  
Until four, my beautiful readers. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I woke in the morning to Josh having to leave.

Slightly cold, with nothing but a blanket covering me, it took me a moment to realize that I'd lived through the night before. Slowly, it all started coming back to me. Everything we'd done. More than once. Almost dazed, I kissed him. Smiling along with him. He smoothed my cheek softly with his hand, and I sighed.

"I wish you could stay." I murmured sleepily to him, and he smiled wider.

"I know." He replied, "I wish I could, too. I'll see you a little later." I nodded, kissing him again quickly.

He was really in a rush, unfortunately. Pausing to touch his forehead to mine, he kissed the end of my nose, and had to go. I watched him quickly cross the room, and pull open the door.

"Aro wants to see you in thirty minutes, Leandra." Aidan informed me before the door closed, "I suggest you rush." Wasn't I supposed to have today off?

What reason would he possibly have to- Shit.

With a sinking heart, I realized that I'd forgotten completely about the whole lack of privacy thing. I laid back on the bed, covering my face in slight embarrassment.

I wasn't ashamed of what we did. Not in the least, but it embarrassed me to know that most likely everyone on this level of the building knew what had been going on in here.

After the night before, I definitely needed a shower, so I flew up out of bed.

I was thankful now for the lack of windows as I streaked to the bathroom. The stupidest smile on my face through the whole thing, I ignored the slight bruises I had along my body as I washed quickly. I wasn't dead, or injured, so I had no need to worry about them.

Finally, after waiting so long for it, I had an experience like that go well. One that I'd enjoyed, and actually brought on myself. There was no other feeling like it. It was hard for him to be that close to me, I knew it, but that didn't seem to squash his enjoyment any.

I stood for a moment before getting dressed, finally doing inventory on my bruises. They hadn't been intentional, and I knew that. They just reminded me of what happened the night before. Where he'd held too tightly. Touched too roughly, or kissed too harshly. None of it felt too tight, rough, or harsh. Not to me.

I smiled, shaking my head. We'd just have to keep practicing, that's all.

I was still tired, but it was a good kind of tired. Sighing, my smile faded as I remembered that I had somewhere to be. I would have strongly preferred just to stay in bed all day, but I couldn't.

Dressing quickly, I yawned deeply before pulling open the door.

"How do I look?" I asked Aidan outside the door, nervousness in my tone.

"Like you enjoyed yourself last night." He answered matter-of-factly. His tone suggesting me not to worry so much. I hesitated, biting my lip. He gave me a look and nodded up the hall. Taking the hint, I started forward.

I walked into the room, a little slower than I usually did, but without much hesitation.

"Right on time." I didn't know how to respond to that, hardly meeting Aro's eyes. I knew without a doubt I still had the blush on my cheeks.

"I trust you had a pleasant night?" Caius, for once, spoke to me without it being a demand. His chuckle afterwards had me look down.

"I-It was fine, thank you." I replied quietly, and this time, Aro chuckled. Holding up his hand to silence Caius.

"I only called you here to follow up on yesterday's little problem, my dear." He assured me, to my surprise.

"Y-You mean.." I paused, "I'm not in any trouble?"

"Trouble?" Aro asked, surprised given his tone, "Of course not. No, no. Of course not, Leandra." I smiled a little in relief, "Who am I to dictate who you choose to love?" I sighed heavily, nodding a little, "May I?" He held his hands open.

"He's not in any trouble either, is he?" I asked, stepping closer.

"Definitely not." Aro replied, "He makes you happy. Never fear, my dear." He smiled assuringly at me, and I believed him. Placing my hand willingly in his, I was too relieved to do anything but cooperate.

It was different this time, however. Maybe it was because of how tired I was, but it was difficult to see at first. Aro noticed as well, frowning just a bit until the vision managed to get going.

He got his answers, much more extensively than yesterday. Someone on the opposing side had decided, much to his happiness. Unfortunately for the opposing side, it was that decision that would get them a visit.

Bad news for them, good news for Aro. Good news for Aro was good news for me. Releasing my hand, he smiled at me once more. I stood there, waiting for him to tell me I could go.

He sighed, reaching out and lifting my shirt's sleeve a little. I looked down at the hint of bruises revealed, and back up at him, nervous again. He wasn't happy that Josh had very slightly damaged me, given the slight growl in his sigh.

"That wasn't intentional." I murmured, and he smiled.

"Of course not." He said, letting my sleeve drop.

"I-It doesn't even hurt." I continued, "He didn't hurt me. I'm fine."

He sighed again, and this time, his smile was forced.

I was dismissed, and couldn't wait to get back to my room. I needed at least a day to recover from the night before.

"Oh," I turned at his call, hating the way he did that, "And do come to me if anything should.. Arise from that little coupling last night. So the proper measures can be taken." I instantly blushed scarlet, and turned without replying.

The truth was, I hadn't even thought about that. I strode straight into my room, ignoring Aidan asking if I was alright. Closing the door loudly behind me, I paced through the room. I knew what Aro was getting at. He was telling me to come to him if Josh had gotten me pregnant.

Just the thought of the word sent ice through my veins, and my heart dropped uncomfortably. I hadn't even considered that a possibility until Aro had said something. Now, I realized how incredibly possible that really was.

I thought hard, almost begging the timing to be wrong. Unfortunately for me, it would have been exactly right. How could I not have seen that?

Just like that, my entire view of the night before changed. It was still just as pleasant, but now I realized how screwed I actually could be.

And what _measures_? That word echoed ominously through my mind as I sat down. If I did turn out to be pregnant, I wouldn't want any measures taken. Knowing Aro, he'd think he was doing me a favor. No. I wouldn't want that at all.

I was scared, asking myself what the hell was wrong with me throughout the rest of the day. I didn't eat breakfast, or lunch. Trying to decide if I should skip dinner, when Josh finally came back. Seeing the fear in my eyes, he came over.

"What happened?" He asked, immediately concerned.

"Last night happened." I gasped, "Josh, that shouldn't have happened."

"Calm down." He said, sitting beside me, "Why? Are you in trouble?"

"No." I murmured as quietly as I could, shaking my head, "But we both might be." Not understanding, he frowned, "The timing.." I trailed off, and he understood immediately.

"Oh." He said, standing again. I waited for him to say something else, but he never did.

"Oh?" I asked, "Oh? That's all I get?"

"I thought we still had a couple of days." He said, trying to defend himself, "I thought we were okay."

"No." I said incredulously, standing quickly, "If you'd been paying attention, you'd know that I have a twenty-eight day cycle. Not thirty-two."

"Shit." He sighed, closing his eyes. Running his hand through his hair. He turned, pacing a little as I sat back down, finally starting to cry. He turned back around, facing me now. Seeing my emotion, he came back over to me. Sitting down beside me, he hugged me into his side.

"It'll be okay." He tried, "You'll see. It'll be fine." I took deep breaths, having no choice but to believe him. This was something I couldn't handle. Not in the least. Not now, not ever. And definitely not here. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he turned slightly. Kissing my forehead softly.

This had to be hard on him too, and I knew that, but I felt like I couldn't breathe. In a not so nice way this time. He didn't understand yet what I would go through if it turned out I was.

All I could think about that night was what I remembered seeing of Bella. Ness had nearly killed her, and I doubted deeply that I was half as strong as she was. What would happen to me? Not only was I younger than she was, but I was smaller.

I was watched closely from that day on, and it definitely made me uncomfortable. Aro never asked, and I never brought it up. I just tried to go on with life as I'd been adjusting to it. Josh stayed around nearly twenty-four seven now. Anxiously waiting, watching me along with everyone else.

A week after that mistake, I laid with Josh. Unable to sleep, but too tired to stay fully awake. He held me, much the way he always did, and we were talking quietly. His fingers playing softly with mine over his stomach.

"From what I remember.." I mumbled quietly against his chest, "Bella didn't find out until two weeks into their honeymoon. Realizing she missed her period, but already having every little symptom. It goes quick."

"How quick?" Josh asked quietly in return.

"A whole pregnancy in.." I paused, thinking, "About a month or two."

"Wow." He sighed. He was quiet for a second, "Can't you just look ahead?"

"I'm too scared to." I whimpered, "I never thought I'd ever be too scared to look for anything, but I am. I can't stand to look."

"It's kind of important." He soothingly rubbed my arm, "It'd be good to know ahead of time, wouldn't it?"

"Aro said something about measures.." I sniffled, "I know what that means. I don't have to look ahead to know what that means." I started to cry again, "I don't think I've ever been this nervous."

He was quiet for a bit, thinking. Holding me tighter, letting me know he wasn't going anywhere. I sighed quiet sobs against his chest, and he laid there quietly. Not telling me not to worry, or that I had no reason to be so scared. I did. I knew I did, and he knew I did as well.

"Maybe," He suggested quietly once I'd calmed down enough to listen, "This needs to be figured out the old fashioned way."

"Huh?" I asked, frowning as I looked up at him.

"We need to get you a home test." He murmured, "If it happens that quick, I haven't the slightest doubt it'd show up already. The sooner we know, the better."

"How the hell am I going to do that?" I had to ask, "Especially without Aro finding out? It's not like I can just stroll on out of here to the nearest pharmacy, Josh. Neither can you."

"I'm sure there are a few people around here that know how to get their hands on things." He replied, and I realized he was right, "Discreetly, of course. It's just a matter of finding someone who'll want to help us out with the risk of lying to Aro."

Maybe he had something there. Who would be willing to help us, though?

The first one I asked, of course, was Aidan. He wasn't too keen on the idea of lying to Aro about it, so I quickly told him never mind. The last thing I needed was for Aro to find out, and kill Josh.

I was heavily distracted the next day. As much as I could be with Aro in the room. Eventually, around mid-morning, he left to go speak with a couple of the guard members. I stayed there at his request, as he wasn't quite done with me yet.

"Do stop doing that." I jumped a little, looking to Caius at his request. I realized then that I'd been nibbling on my thumbnail, lost in thought again.

"Sorry." I replied, hiding my hands between my knees.

"What has you so distracted, child?" For once, Marcus was the one talking to me. I looked his way now, surprised he'd actually paid any attention to me.

"I'm just thinking." I replied quietly, "I haven't been sleeping well lately, I guess, and my head is killing me today." Accepting that answer, he nodded once and looked away.

"You know," Caius mused, standing, "I do believe Aro has been working you too hard again." He stepped closer to me, "Shall I tell him you're no longer up to the task?"

"No." I replied, watching as he stopped right beside where I sat on the steps beneath their chairs, "I'm fine." The last thing I needed was for Aro to find me useless. Caius hummed in thought, squatting down to my level. Studying me closely, I couldn't hold his gaze for very long.

It wasn't very often I was alone with the two of them. Hardly ever, in fact, because Aro knew full well how nervous Caius made me.

Reaching up, he touched a strand of my hair and moved it from in front of my face. Tucking it softly behind my ear.

"You're sure?" He smirked, and I met his gaze briefly, "You're looking rather pale today." I'd been feeling off all morning, and the fact that it showed physically was enough to worry me.

"I'm fine." I insisted, wishing I could just move away from him. Doing so would be disrespectful in his eyes, though, and I had to be careful.

He smirked wider at that response, chuckling quietly.

"We are still quite eagerly anticipating the result of your little forray with Josh." At the mention of Josh's name, I looked back up at him.

"There is no result." I told him flatly, "None, what-so-ever."

"How can you be so sure?" He asked, "You wouldn't even know it yet." He had me there, and I looked back down, "And just think." He sighed conversationally. He drew closer, breathing in my scent not-so-subtly, "If there truly is no result, I would love the chance to give you one."

I had to scoot away at that. Disgusted, and repulsed, I was incredibly grateful at the doors opening, signifying Aro's return. That was as far as Caius' torment of me went, but it was who came in with Aro that caught my attention. An idea hatching in my head.

Jane and Alec filed in with him, but my eyes landed on Jane. She was a female. Maybe she'd feel for my predicament, and I had no doubts she'd have the connections needed to get ahold of a test for me.

Half of the next week was dedicated solely to trying to find some time alone with Jane. I would have had Josh ask her, but I didn't want him to get into trouble. I was needed. He wasn't. It was bad enough I had to ask at all.

I finally had to follow her from the room one day, hoping Aro wouldn't mind. Jogging down the hall, I managed to catch up to her and Alec.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked quietly, glancing to Alec.

"No." She told me in reply. I could see that this was going to be difficult. We both looked to Alec as he continued on. Just as bored with me as Jane seemed to be. She went to turn, but I caught her sleeve lightly.

"I need a very, very big favor from you." I murmured quietly to her, before she could get too irritated and decide I needed a deterrent. She frowned at me, looking from my hand to my eyes as if surprised I would dare do something like that.

"Why me?" She demanded, "Find somebody else."

"Please?" I asked urgently as she turned to walk away, "I can't do this by myself. You know how closely Aro watches me."

"Exactly." She snapped in return, "And you really expect any one of us to go behind his back for you? You've got some nerve." She tore her sleeve from my hand, and turned. Actually walking away now.

"I need a pregnancy test." I blurted out, desperate now. She paused, turning to look at me.

"And he won't give you one?" She asked, intrigued.

"I haven't asked him yet." I sighed in reply, "I'm afraid of what he'll do if it turns out positive."

"You're afraid he'll make you get rid of it?" She asked, and I nodded, "Considering how valuable you are to him, I can see why you'd have every right to be concerned about that." I waited for her answer. She sighed, shaking her head, "Sorry. No." Disappointed, I watched her walk away.

Why was it so important to know? I had to ask myself that question. Why did I need a test to confirm anything? All I had to do was look forward myself, but again, I really didn't want to. I was too afraid to look and see for myself. What would I find? I would just have to suck it up, and deal with this.

I laid in bed with Josh that night, wide awake.

"Any luck?" He asked me and silently, I shook my head.

He sighed, moving out from under me. I was confused at first, until he gently rolled me onto my back. He settled lower beside me, his head resting on my upper stomach.

My hands reached out, running through his hair softly.

"I'll take care of you." He told me, "If you are, and even if you're not, I'll always be here."

"Don't say that." I murmured in reply, "Please."

"Why not?" He asked, his hand gently massaging my lower stomach.

"Because I'll count on it." I replied, sighing.

"In the morning," He said after a minute of silence, "We'll go talk to Aro together. We'll explain what it is we need, and the reason why."

"We can't do that." I reminded him, "You know what'll happen."

"How do you know?" Josh asked, "Have you seen anything going wrong?" I looked down.

"I haven't looked."

"You haven't even tried?" He asked, and I shook my head, "Just try."

I sighed, trying to let myself look ahead. Concentrating in a way that would always work before. Now, it got me nowhere. Frowning, I glanced to Josh.

"What is it?" He asked quietly, watching as I started to try again.

I hardly heard what he said, frowning as I sat up. Just the light of the fireplace to see by, I looked to him again as he sat up beside me.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing both the worry and confusion in my eyes. Before I could try to look again, I felt something that I had no idea how to describe. I laid back down, raising the silk pajama shirt over my stomach. There, where it had been completely flat between my hips before, a very, very slight raise now sat. I'd always been small, almost scrawny. Seeing any hint of fat on me confused me.

His hand replaced itself over my skin now, and we both laid in silence as I watched him gently massage the very spot I was concerned about. He noticed it too. Seeing this now left no room for doubt in my mind. I was amazed.

It wasn't that, however, that had gotten my attention. It was a small, very tiny movement under the skin of that raise that had gotten my attention. It tickled, bringing my focus to the spot.

"We can't go to Aro." I murmured softly, shaking my head a little, "We can't." I felt it again, and I definitely knew this time that it wasn't him that made me feel it, because his hand had stilled.

"That felt weird." I murmured, inspecting the skin there.

"What did?"

"You didn't feel that?" I asked, my hands moving to my stomach now, "It felt like.. I don't even know how to describe it." I massaged the skin there myself now, below my belly button. It felt firmer than I was used to.

"Like something moved?" He asked quietly, his hand placing itself over my two on my stomach. I jumped slightly as I felt it again.

"Yeah." I said, "Like.. I barely feel it, but it tickles." I hated admitting that.

I looked over, meeting Josh's eyes. We both already knew the answer. I could clearly see that. The worry in my eyes reflected in his.

"I don't think we need a test anymore." I admitted, surprised at how just saying that could make me cry. Not just cry, but cry hard. The pain of my heart breaking over absolutely nothing stole my breath and confused me at the same time. I'd been an emotional wreck since this hunt for a test had started. I rolled over, resting my head back onto Josh's chest as his arms came around me.

He held me until I was fine less than ten minutes later. Sniffling, trying to look a little better.

"That sucks." I muttered, wiping my tears away, "I haven't been this messed up since I was ten."

"I'm so sorry, Leandra." He told me quietly, and I looked up at him, "I never meant for this to happen."

"It isn't your fault." I said, pushing myself up, "I should have said something. I should have been smarter about this. It was my job to warn you, but I just completely forgot about it."

"I shouldn't have even tried to-"

"Shut up." I said, crawling over him. I laid down on top of him this time, my hands on his chest, my chin on my hands, "Blaming ourselves isn't going to fix anything. It'll just make us both feel like crap."

"I know." He sighed, softly stroking my cheek, "I still think we should talk to Aro, though. You're not going to be able to hide this from him for long, Leandra. He's going to know you tried to hide it."

"I'm scared." I admitted, and he nodded a little, "I don't know what to do."

"We'll figure it out." He said, "Don't worry."

I managed to hide it for just two more days. The morning of the third day, I couldn't leave the bathroom to go to him. Too sick to stand, I kneeled there beside the toilet, cursing my life. That about summed it up, and explained everything. Both Josh and Aidan stood there in the doorway, watching me when Aro decided to just come to me. Discovering me there.

"Leandra." His disappointed sigh couldn't even make me turn. It only made the nausea worse. I glanced up at something being placed on the vanity beside me. Looking to the long white pregnancy test box first, before looking up completely and meeting Aro's eyes.

"I don't appreciate the fact you attempted to go behind my back about this, Leandra." I couldn't reply, "Come see me when you're able. I mean that." I watched him turn, striding from the room between Aidan and Josh, "Leave her be." At once, both of them left the room as well. Closing the bathroom door behind themselves. He really wasn't happy.

I was far from done, but I stood up anyway. Rinsing my mouth out, I quickly picked up the box. Ripping out the contents, I unwrapped the first test itself with trembling fingers.

"Please," I whimpered to myself, "Let me be dying of the stomach flu or something. Let me just be getting fat."

I closed the toilet lid, sitting heavily as the test worked, both my hands in my hair. I grabbed the instructions, looking over what the test would say if I wasn't, and if I were. I already knew what the test would say, but I couldn't help hoping I was wrong.

I sat there for five minutes, knowing the test was three minutes passed done, but I couldn't make myself look yet. Fearfully looking up, just a glance really told me all I needed to know.

"Dammit!" I brought my head back down, knotting them in my hair. Blaringly positive, the seemingly harmless piece of plastic had just smashed all that hope into tiny pieces. Just in case, I took the second test provided. Getting the same result. No hint of it being inconclusive, I was actually surprised the damn thing didn't blow up with its positivity.

One night of impulsive behavior, and I was sentenced to die, or spend the rest of my life wishing I had. Aro was going to be angry at the both of us, probably kill Josh, and make me get rid of it.

I left the bathroom in sobbing tears, Josh standing on the other side of the door. He hugged me tightly, and I had to return the embrace. I was shaking, so scared. I didn't have to say a word, my reaction being answer enough. We just stood there for a few minutes, my eyes buried in his shoulder. He let me cry.

Kissing the top of my head, his hand smoothed the back of my head.

"I know." He told me, "But we can't run." It was as if he could read my mind, "We have to face this. If I could, I would take you somewhere else. I would keep you from having to face it, but I can't. I just can't."

"I know." I cried, my cries quieting.

"Come on." He told me gently, his arm around me. He led me from the room, Aidan falling into step behind us. I almost hesitated before walking in the room, but Josh wouldn't let me. I was grateful he didn't, because that would have made it worse.

"My dear," Aro spoke, standing from his chair and shaking his head, "How foolish you are." I stood there, clinging to Josh as I looked up at Aro. I waited, not wanting to know what comes next.

"I'm sorry." I cried finally, "I don't know what to do."

He sighed, gesturing that I move forward. I slowly did as he told me, my hands wringing nervously. I reached him, standing in front of him as he slowly stepped down to stand more on my level.

"You shouldn't have done it." His told me, and he shook his head, "Or, at very least, you should have been more careful. Why weren't you more careful?" I was hesitantly relieved that he seemed to be blaming me for this, and not Josh.

"I-I.. I don't know." I sniffled, wiping tears from my cheeks, "W-What am I going to do?"

He sighed, again with disappointment in the sound.

"I'm sorry." I said again, tears continuing to trail down my cheeks.

"Calm yourself, my dear." He told me, obviously trying to be comforting, "I'm assuming you wish to keep it?" Aro asked, intrigued. I even heard the interest in his voice, but I was too worried to not be stupid. I nodded, a sob escaping. His hand came up, landing on my shoulder, "I think it's clear, then, what we must do."

"What?" I had to ask, my hands slowly folding over my stomach. Still flat, but not as flat as it once was. He sighed, looking back at Caius. Impulsively, I spoke again, "Don't hurt him." Aro looked to me again, "Don't hurt Josh. This was my fault. I didn't think about it. I should have said something, but it-it.. I-I-"

"My dear," He chuckled this time, "I wouldn't dream of it." I stopped my rambling, sobbing twice more, "Of course not." He waited until I calmed a little before speaking again, "He's done nothing wrong. I can easily see how impossible it would be to resist you." I looked down at that. Again, not liking the sentiment.

"However." I looked back up as he continued, "The situation is quite grave." I understood that part, "If you're going to have any chance at all at surviving, here is not where you need to be."

I frowned, confused as I looked up at him, "You need to be somewhere this has happened before. You'll have more of a chance of survival there, with those who have experience."

I realized what he was telling me, but I didn't get too excited until he said the words.

"Tomorrow morning, you'll be dropped off on your family's doorstep." He informed me, "I know for a fact you'll be well taken care of there, and have not a doubt in my mind they'll do all they can to keep you alive."

I smiled a little, a gasp of relief leaving me. Nodding quickly, I couldn't speak yet, but I needed him to know how incredibly acceptable that was for me.

"And me?" Josh asked hesitantly.

"You'll be staying here." Aro told him, "There will be no need for you to accompany her." He knew not to argue, but that news bothered him. It bothered me too, and I looked back at him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go through this without him there.

"After you've gotten settled," Aro told me now, and I looked back up at him, "I will periodically visit. Only to make sure your needs are being met. I will not risk your life by keeping you here as much as you've risked your own." I nodded, sniffling quietly, "Be prepared to leave by nightfall."

I turned, quickly heading for the door. Josh and Aidan following.

"I'm not quite done." I paused, looking back at him, "There is still the matter of attempting to hide this from me." Unsettled, I glanced to Josh briefly.

"I-I.. I was scared.." My voice hardly made a sound, "I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Of course I'm unhappy with you." He replied, "But that is hardly an excuse. As I understand it, Josh has been urging you to come to me for some time now."

"He has." I muttered in reply, "But I wouldn't."

"Unconcerned for his own safety," Aro continued, "Only concerned for yours. Knowing how disappointed I would be when- When, not if, Leandra- I found out about your attempts to hide this affliction." He stepped closer, "Yet, you continued. You really should have come to me sooner, Leandra."

"I know." I looked down, not knowing what else to say.

"During your time away," Aro spoke quieter now as he reached me, "I'll be considering hard what punishment is fitting enough for this." His hand came up, gently touching my chin and raising my eyes to his, "Although, I can clearly see it. The unending devotion. The desperate need for such a beautiful mother-to-be to protect her unborn child."

I was uncomfortable at how soft his voice had gotten. Knowing full well that he was most dangerous the quieter his voice got.

"That's all this was, wasn't it?" Hesitantly, I nodded in his hand. I was too nervous to make myself speak. He smiled a little, my gaze locked on his, "Such bravery. You know what waits for you, having witnessed it yourself, and yet, you choose to go through it without another thought." He seemed amazed. This didn't seem so hard to understand for me.

"Go now." He finally said, stroking my cheek almost lovingly, "You leave tonight." I cautiously stepped back, away from his hand.

I almost ran from the room, but managed to hold myself back.

I didn't understand it. Why was it such a hard concept to grasp? I knew I was probably not going to survive this. I knew it was pointless to even expect myself to, but I wasn't about to just say screw it and save my own life by doing what I considered unforgivable. If I had a choice, I would protect my baby, and give it all I had. That's how it worked.

Josh and I laid together the rest of the day, until I had to leave that evening. He held me close, neither of us speaking. Like so often before. I didn't love him any less because of this. I knew he didn't love me any less either. It bothered us both, though, that I couldn't stay with him during this.

My family wouldn't be informed beforehand. I had to tell them why I was back. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got. Emmett had always said he'd be pissed if I ever wound up in that situation. The excitement at seeing them again, mixed with the nervousness, creating a very nervewracking emotion in my stomach.

I was starving, however. Hungry. A pleasant change from the uneasy nausea I'd had for the last three days.

Josh and I had to literally be pulled apart. I would miss him desperately, but he knew I was going somewhere that would be safer for me than here, so he let me go. As it was explained to me on the way there, I'd be dropped off. To avoid tension, I'd be left within reach of the house, and I'd be the only one to approach the house.

I stepped from the trees, dissolving into tears at the sight of the house early that morning. I stood out front for a moment, looking up at the house. Waiting for the moment when they would recognize my scent. I was cold, however. Not having a jacket, just my normal tight black t-shirt and jeans. They were fitting more snugly than I was used to.

Being away for almost six months, this had to have taken them off guard. I didn't want to just walk in, as I didn't know if I'd be accepted. I was cautious, though I knew I had no reason to be. Even if I did reek of the Volturi. Aro most.

Carlisle was the first to step out, but I knew the others weren't far away.

"Leandra?" It was understandable that he was confused. He hadn't been informed of what was coming, and it was up to me to inform them. I just didn't know how to go about doing that. I knew I had to figure out a way to, though. And soon.

I knew they'd be shocked, and honestly, the very idea of what was growing inside me that very second was terrifying. I remembered very clearly what Bella went through, and the thought of going through that created such a knot of fear in my stomach, I didn't know how to breathe properly.

I was terrified, but the emotions at seeing him again suddenly overwhelmed me, and I quickly melted into trembling sobs. He descended the steps making his way straight to me. For the oddest reasons, I didn't want him near me. Afraid for him, so I shook my head, and stepped back. Watching me cry, his concerned gaze only grew more concerned.

"Leandra?" He asked again.

"Please don't." I whimpered, "I've done something bad. So bad. I came back for your help. I need your help, Carlisle." It was true. If I was going to have any chance in hell, I needed his help.

I took a shaky breath, looking to the others now on the porch, "I'm sorry. Aro made me come back. He wants me here for now, while.." I trailed off, shaking my head. I was highly emotional, and I couldn't slow down.

"Leandra," Carlisle said, "Just breathe. Breathe, and tell me what happened."

"Come inside, sweetheart." Esme said, and I had to take the offer. It was too tempting to refuse. I nodded, sniffling and starting forward.

I passed Carlisle, and he turned, following me back to the house. I only cried harder the moment I stepped inside, wishing so badly I could be relieved at this homecoming. Nothing had changed, the furniture staying the same as I remembered it. As happy as I was to be home, I couldn't be as happy at the reason.

I couldn't stop trembling as I sat down on the couch. Struggling hard to get ahold of myself.

I was so scared.

Taking a deep breath, I held it. How was I ever going to do this? Letting out my breath in a sob, hanging my head.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked again after a few minutes, "Leandra, please. Tell us."

"Please.." I mumbled around my tears, shaking my head, "Just.. Don't kick me out. I don't have much choice but to be here. I-I knew it was stupid, and I-I know I shouldn't have done it, but I-I.. I-I don't know where my head was at, and it just sort of.. H-Happened.."

"Calm down, shorty." Emmett said quietly, and I moved my eyes to him, "We're not going to kick you out."

"Promise?" My tiny voice worried him even more.

"I promise." He replied, looking worriedly to Carlisle. Esme sat beside me, her arm around me. I appreciated the gesture more than she knew, even if I couldn't return it. I continued to tremble slightly, knowing she felt it.

I could understand why they'd be so worried. Given how frightened I was, and how I just couldn't stop shaking. The fact I could hardly speak, and how I had to have them promise not to kick me out, when I knew perfectly well that it'd take a _lot_ to make that happen. This was a lot. I just knew I couldn't do this on my own and still live.

"This is a lot." I had to warn them, "Worse than anything I've ever done." I couldn't help wondering if I was overreacting. Then I remembered Bella again, realizing that I really wasn't. Alice sat on the armrest beside me, letting me know she supported me too.

Not only was I facing something so much worse than anything I'd ever imagined, I was about to tell them that they had front row seats to watching me die slowly.

I never understood before where Bella was coming from. Why she would choose to keep going through with something that was killing her, but now I knew. I understood. I knew now, why she would do what she did. I felt it, what she must have felt. No matter what happened to me, I wouldn't give up. I just had to tell them. There was no way to avoid it.

I took another deep breath, closing my eyes.

"I'm pregnant." I mumbled, listening to the shock rumble through the group, "B-But.. Let me explain.. Before you start yelling at me.."

"You've got five seconds before I hunt Aro down." Emmett growled. That surprised me enough to look up through a few of the last tears to fall from my eyes right then. They thought Aro would do that? Yeah, he made me uncomfortable on numerous occasions, but never like that.

"N-No." I said, shaking my head, "It's not his. Aro's treated me with nothing but respect, I swear. And he wouldn't stand for anyone hurting me that way." Hearing the truth in my voice seemed to calm him down a little bit, "It's Josh's." I looking down. They knew all about him by then. Mikah having explained what happened that night.

I figured I should explain further, since I had the opportunity to.

"I first saw Josh again the day after I got there." I continued, "And after that, we've just been getting closer. Aro had been giving both me and him time off to spend together. Just to be nice, and to help me get used to being there. Since Josh had been there for awhile before me, he thought it'd be a good idea for me to spend some time with him." I trailed off, taking a deeper breath, "I didn't mind it so much. Josh made being there almost okay."

"Go on." Carlisle urged, and I sighed.

"Well, one night.." I paused, "About two weeks ago, we got _too_ close.." I trailed off, waiting for their sighs of disappointment to fade, "I couldn't help it. He was just like I remembered him. Like we never spent any time apart." I found myself blushing, looking down at my hands folded in my lap, "It didn't seem weird, or strange to me at all. It didn't seem wrong. I didn't stop to think, and he didn't either."

It was silent again, and I shrugged a little.

"I didn't even think anything of it until Aro told me the next day to tell him if anything resulted from it. I know I was stupid, but I didn't even think that was an option. I spent one week wondering what the hell I was going to do, and hoping the timing had just been a little off. That it hadn't been so _perfect_." I closed my eyes in shame, hanging my head, "The week after that was spent wondering how the hell I was going to find out for sure. I was afraid Aro was going to be so mad at me, so I couldn't go to him. Worried for Josh, as well as.. Well, this thing." I gestured to my stomach. They listened quietly, much to my relief.

"I had to find some way to get my hands on a test." I continued quietly, "I went to Jane, but she told me she didn't want to go behind Aro's back for me, but it didn't matter anyway. We both knew I was." I paused, staring down at my hands, "I guess it confirmed itself."

I waited, listening to the silence.

"I just.. I wanted to hide it, because I wasn't sure what he would do to me. Or to Josh for risking me that way." I continued, "Three nights ago, I first felt it move. I know how strange that sounds, but I swear, it's true."

I took another breath, indescribably grateful for Jasper's help. I was calming down, knowing how supported I was.

"I was able to hide it for two more days." I mumbled, "Yesterday.. I couldn't make my usual morning appearance to Aro, so he came looking for me. I hoped I was dying of some stomach thing, but.. No.." I'd started to ramble, feeling highly uncomfortable, "He gave me a test, and it was positive." I tried to ignore the fact that I felt movement under the little bump, looking down at my stomach with a slight sigh.

"And that." I mumbled, looking back up, "It's moving again."

"That's called a baby, shorty." Emmett told me, and I whined, covering my face. The flat way he told me that just made it harder to imagine, but brought painful reality. I really was pregnant.

"What I'm still confused about, is why Aro sent you back to us." Carlisle murmured, "Wouldn't he want to keep you there all the more?"

I sighed. Wishing I didn't feel so worn out.

"Aro wasn't happy when he found out." I mumbled down at my hands, "But he wasn't mad about it." That wasn't what Carlisle had asked, so I continued, "He asked me what I wanted to do about it. When I stopped crying enough to answer him." I sighed, "I had tried to hide it from him, because I thought sure I would hate having to tell him."

"Didn't you just look forward?" Alice asked, "To see how he'd react?"

"It's been weird." I shook my head a little, looking to her still beside me, "I must be learning control over it or something because unless I really, really want to look ahead for something, or unless Aro takes my hand, I don't see a damn thing." I shrugged, "And even then, it's been harder on me."

"Odd." She murmured, frowning a little as she looked to Jasper.

"Anyway." I continued, "After finding out that I wanted to keep it, he told me he wanted me to be taken care of. He wanted me to go somewhere he knows I'm safe, but someplace where he knows someone's survived this sort of thing before. There weren't many places that provided that, so he chose to take me here."

"I see." Carlisle nodded slowly, frowning. Before I could be happy at being home for however long it took to grow a vampire baby, I had to get passed this.

"I can't take back what I've done, and even though I know what this means, I don't want to." I mumbled in conclusion, looking up at Carlisle, "But I have to ask. How mad are you?"

The others looked his way, listening for his reply as well.

**A/N: Insert evil laughter here.  
I know I suck for leaving it right here, but I thought it'd add a nice touch of anticipation. I apologize if it seems rushed. I've had no caffeine, and being awake is near impossible these days.  
Tell me truthfully. What'd ya think? Good? Or should I crumple it up and do it again?  
THANK YOU to my wonderful reviewers! Geez, I love hearing (err.. or reading) your thoughts!  
Next chapter _might_ take a few days, guys. To be honest. Payday is on Tuesday, and the days leading up to it never fail to be nerve-wracking.**** SO... I hope you enjoyed this cliffhanger, because it'll have to do for a few days.  
Until five, my friends! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"I can see that this isn't entirely your fault." Carlisle replied just as quietly, "I'm not mad at you, Leandra. I'm not. I'm only disappointed, as I know you know better. There was no protection available?" I looked down at the word. I was plenty old enough to have known about that, so it was easy to understand why he'd ask.

"There wasn't. Not without announcing to the entire place what I wanted to do." I reasoned, "And by then, it would have been useless, because I wouldn't want to do it anymore. Stopping to think about it was something that would make sure I didn't do it."

"I see your point." He sighed, pausing for a minute. He looked down in thought, and I hated putting this stress on him. He shouldn't have had to deal with it.

"You're aware of your options, then?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"I know there aren't many." I responded quieter now, "Just two, and I can tell you that one of the options isn't an option for me. I won't do it."

"You're considering keeping it?" He asked, and I knew he was just being thorough.

"I know how that sounds." I admitted, and went quiet, looking down.

"I don't think it'll be so hard this time." To my surprise, Rosalie spoke up in my defense, "Really, how different could it be? We know what to expect now."

That seemed to ease the tension just enough to have Carlisle sigh.

"This is your choice?" He asked, "You're the one wanting to keep the baby?" I frowned, shocked enough to look up. Watching him as he crossed his arms over his chest. Why would he ask that?

"That's what you were thinking?" I asked quietly, "That somehow this wasn't my choice?" He waited, so I answered, "Of course it's my choice."

"And it was your choice to conceive it?" He asked and that surprised me even more.

"I didn't expect _this_ to happen specifically, but yes." I answered almost irritatedly, "Josh wouldn't do that." I could see easily he wasn't so convinced, "Carlisle, it was my choice."

"I know you." He replied simply, "This doesn't sound like something you'd do."

"Why would I lie about it?" I asked, "If something like that had happened, you'd know it."

"Unless he told you to lie." Alice offered from the side.

"He wouldn't do that." I denied again, "It was my choice. Why is that so hard to-"

"Look at his family, Leandra." Jasper answered, "Look at who he's related to." I looked down, sighing, "That's why this is so hard for us to believe, but I know you well enough to know that you're telling the truth." It was quiet after that, "Her emotions say she's telling the truth, Carlisle. He didn't force her."

"Thank you." I mumbled firmly his way, "I chose it, and I'm choosing to face the consequences. I mean, I know I won't make a very good mom, but I'm willing to try. I know I have nothing to my name, and I have nothing to offer it, but I'd like to try." I watched as my words nearly convinced him. I was being one-hundred percent honest with him, but it just wasn't enough.

"I'm sorry, I just don't trust Aro." Carlisle replied, "I know how his mind works."

"So do I." I countered quietly, "I think I would know.." I trailed off, frowning as I realized what he was talking about. I stood up, biting my lip in thought, "You don't think.." I shook my head a little.

"I do." Carlisle nodded a little. I was quiet, considering.

"No." I shook my head again, "I would know if I was being manipulated by Aro. I've seen it too many times to count. I would know what it would look like. He wouldn't.. He wouldn't do that to me."

"He most certainly would." Edward came in, and I looked to him. Surprised by his sudden appearance. He must have heard my thoughts.

"But that doesn't explain why he allowed her to come home, instead of the more feasable alternative." He continued. Bella and Ness trailed in behind him, but I paid no attention to them.

"Wait." I said, "Hold on a minute." I was getting pissed. Quickly.

"I can tell you exactly what happened." Edward replied in a calm tone. Probably trying to ease my temper, "He knows you a lot better than you think he does, Leandra." He paused, looking to Emmett, "That sounds exactly right."

"Someone explain before I lose my shit." I growled, looking around, "I would know it."

"From the moment he took your hand as a child, Leandra, he's had this in motion." Edward began, looking to me, "There are three things now he wants very most in the world. One, he wants his own prophet. That's something he's wanted for so long. He has you now, but that isn't enough for him. He found a way to obtain the next two things. Two, he wants us gone. No longer a threat to him. Which is what Emmett just pointed out to me. By letting you come back, he knows we'll do anything to protect you. That means standing against him. Something he won't stand for again."

My eyes narrowed at him telling me that. I didn't like where this was going. He sighed, glancing to Carlisle, "Three, and probably the most important to him now, would be a hybrid child of his own."

It was quiet now, and I honestly had no idea what to say now.

"There's a reason Aro accepted Josh so easily, Leandra." Edward continued, "I didn't see it before, because like you, I was trying to deny what I already knew. I wanted to believe he would have some sort of decency when it came to you, but it looks like we were both wrong."

Slowly, I sat back down.

"Josh had to have been in on it the entire time." He said, "There would be no other way to explain how much self-control he has for only being three years old. He's been training for this since the day he was turned."

"No." I denied instantly, "Not Josh. I know him better than that. I know-"

"You _knew_." Edward corrected, "You knew him. People change when they're turned, Leandra. Nobody just stays exactly the same." He paused, "Not the way you're recalling him. Unless he has amazing self-control like Bella did, which is very highly unlikely, that's the only way to explain why he didn't immediately kill you. Not only the thirst, but he wouldn't know how to control himself in an act like _that_ unless he's trained for it."

This was hard to absorb. I couldn't imagine it.

"So," Esme was about to sum it up for all of us, "You're saying that Aro had Josh desensitized and trained to be able to pull this off? In hopes this would happen?"

"By bringing Josh to him, Mikah only made it easier for him." Edward mused, talking to Carlisle now, "He had no idea what he was doing by doing that, though. I know he wasn't a part of this." I'd had enough.

"How do you know?" I demanded, and he looked to me, "How do you know Mikah isn't a part of it?"

"I would have seen something." Edward answered, "By now."

"But can you honestly tell me for certain that Mikah wasn't just placed here to keep an eye on us until Aro comes back for me?" I asked, waiting as they fell silent, "If this has been on Aro's mind for this long, how can you tell me for sure that Mikah wasn't chosen that far in advance just for this purpose? Can you honestly tell me that you've been watching close enough to catch every single possible slip up of his thoughts?"

I was demanding answers now. Ones I knew he couldn't honestly give me, "If we're talking conspiracy theories, why not consider the blatantly obvious? You don't think it's possible for a vampire to distract himself long enough to fool a mind-reader that's not even around one hundred percent of the time? When it would be his _job_ to fool said mind-reader long enough to gain your trust?"

"She's got a point." Jasper muttered, looking to Carlisle.

"Then," I continued, "Just when you're thinking you can trust him, and count on him to be on your side when you need him most, he turns around and proves differently." Nobody could deny that I was right. We just didn't know.

"As far as I'm concerned, nobody associated with Aro or even that side of the world can be trusted."

"Shorty." Emmett shook his head a little, "He's stuck around."

"Where's he now?" I asked, standing, "Off hunting, or is he off giving someone information on us? My point is, you just can't tell. You can't trust anyone that has to do with Aro." I shook my head, "I'm done trusting anyone, but those who've proved not to have a hidden agenda. This is.. Too much. Way too much. I'm done."

"We'll keep an eye on him." Carlisle told me, "Watch closer now that you've pointed that out."

Making my point, I crossed my arms over my stomach as I turned. I wasn't leaving the room, but I wasn't going to be a part of that conversation anymore.

"Does that change your mind, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I looked up.

"No." I told him, "No, it doesn't." I was still in slight shock, however. It was hard to imagine Josh could ever do something like that. I thought hard, trying to recall any reason he'd given me to distrust him.

He'd always been nothing but the kindest person. Someone who kept me company when I needed company. It hurt to have the memories of spending time with him the last six months turned around, making me see them differently.

"The important thing now, is that you're safe." Esme offered, bringing me out of my thoughts for the moment, "You look like you've had a rough day. Maybe you should get some rest, honey."

This bothered me. This was the worst I'd ever been betrayed, and it left such an ache in my heart. It left a hollow feeling in my stomach, knowing Edward wouldn't lie to me. Just like that, my anger had faded into a different sort of feeling. A confused sort of dizzying heart break I couldn't shake.

Edward wouldn't lie to me.

"No, Leandra." He answered me, and I looked to him, "I wouldn't lie to you."

I thought again. Everything Josh told me, every moment we spent with each other ran through my head again. How could I have been so stupid? He had been so convincing, but he didn't have to be. I would have believed him anyway.

"If Aro thinks he's getting his hands on the both of us," I mumbled, my hand on my stomach, "He's got another thing coming. I'll die before he takes my baby."

"Leandra, it doesn't have to be that way." Edward pointed out, and I looked up at him once again, "You don't have to go through any of it."

"I don't care if I have to or not. To me, I do." Though my voice trembled a little, I knew they couldn't take that as anything less than determination, "I made the mistake. Not the baby. I'm not just going to say forget it. If I choose the alternative, I'll never forgive myself."

It was quiet now in the room around me. I felt sick, both literally and metaphorically. Too warm in my skin, uncomfortable. Still dizzy with all I'd been told today. I took a shaky breath, still so confused.

"Can you please go change your clothes?" Alice asked, picking at my shirt sleeve.

"I agree." Emmett winced, "You're creeping me out."

"I can't agree more." I mumbled, looking down at my shirt and turning. I paused, "Uh.."

"Everything is still just where you left it." Edward answered, to my surprise, "We'll talk more once you've been given the chance to rest."

I nodded almost numbly, heading up the hall. It really did feel good to be home. To be safe again, and supported again. No longer in the cold, stone building I'd spent the last six months, but a warm, safe house with the ones I loved. Despite the way I really didn't want to drag my family into this, I couldn't just turn my back on my baby. I didn't care what I had to go through, it would have a chance to live.

Choosing to take a shower as well, I noticed just how big of a difference twelve hours without watching my stomach could make. Definitely bigger in the midsection, I was so surprised I had to do a double-take. A definite, defined roundness stood out to me, and I could only imagine how clear it was to my family. I had a feeling I'd have to get used to this soon, or constantly be surprised.

I'd just have to thank my lucky stars that so far, a normal t-shirt could still hide it. I shook my head, continuing on with what I was doing.

I had to consider the fact that the way I felt now could have been exactly the way Aro wanted me to feel. He knew I'd never just get rid of it. He was counting on it, but what would happen when he found out I wasn't going back with him? I had to consider that, as well. He still owned me. Being back home was temporary. It was only until I could have the baby, but if it was the baby he wanted as well as me, how on earth was I supposed to stop him from taking it?

What if Edward was wrong? What if Mikah was a part if it? I'd fallen so easily for Josh. There was no telling who was able to be trusted, and who wasn't. They at least knew to watch him closer now. So that helped slightly.

I wouldn't lie. It hurt so much to have my sight clear on Josh now. It was so, _so_ stupid to refuse to see the possibility that he could be just as manipulative as Jack was, given the fact that everyone else in his family was less than trustworthy. It was so stupid to make myself believe he was different than everyone else.

I might as well have been blind. His insisting that Aro was never in the wrong. His urging for me to ease more into being there, to listen to Aro. I never knew what he did when he left my room. Aro's assurance that Josh wasn't in any kind of trouble. How could he be? He'd done exactly what Aro told him to do.

I had to admit, it was comforting to smell like I always used to smell. In clothes that weren't silk, and ones I was comfortable in. My wet hair lay down my back, and I almost felt normal. Aside from the tickling movement in my stomach.

"Better?" I couldn't help smirking at Emmett as I came back out.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." Edward spoke from across the room now, "I know how much it hurt you to-"

"I'd rather try not to focus on that right this moment." I mumbled, "Just.. Thank you. I can't believe how stupid I was to not have seen it before."

"We've been telling you since you met him that Aro is one manipulative bastard." Emmett replied, "You _so_ hard headed, shorty. I'm just sorry you had to find out this way." He pulled me into a hug, which I was only too happy to return. I didn't know how long this would last, so I just wanted to enjoy what time I had with them while I had it.

"Are you hungry, honey?" Esme asked, hugging me next. I shook my head a little.

"Not so much." I admitted, pulling back, "I'm still a little.." I paused, "I'm a little overwhelmed right now."

"You're not going to puke, are you?" Emmett asked, wrinkling his nose.

"No." I answered shortly, "But I'll be sure to aim it at you next time I have to."

"Let's try to avoid pissing her off for now." Jasper spoke up, "At least for the first day she's back."

"Especially since I can cry at the drop of a dime." I sighed, "Remember back when I was ten?" Emmett grinned, "Worse. I'm a literal emotional ticking time-bomb. Don't push it."

"What else is new?" He grinned, and I knew he was picking on me. I gave him a look, unable to keep from smiling.

I finished greeting everyone else, and chose to sit down. I was tired, but really not up to being alone. After having little to no interaction with anybody but Josh or Aro the last six months, having people to spend time with was an unbelievable relief.

"That must have been so lonely." I glanced up at Edward.

"It was." I sighed, folding my hands in my lap, "But after enough time, it was such a steady routine, it was almost easy to get used to."

"So." Emmett said conversationally, flopping down beside me, "Another demon spawn." He easily moved as a sturdy pillow was flung at his head. It missed him and hit a vase behind him, which Esme moved to catch before it could shatter onto the floor.

"What's it gonna be?" Emmett continued, "Another girl? Or an awesome boy this time?" Emmett never let anything get him down for long. I knew he was plotting Aro's death in his mind, but he wasn't about to take it out on me.

"I don't know yet." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"Mind if I ask you a few things?" Carlisle spoke up, and I looked back at him, "I only need an idea of what I'm working with, if I'm going to take care of you."

"Not at all." I replied, much more cooperative now that I smelled more like myself, and now wore my most comfortable set of pajamas.

"You say the baby's been moving already?" He asked, and I nodded, "How long have you been able to feel it?" I forced myself not to think of the first time I felt it.

"About three days now. Four, I guess, counting today." He frowned, thinking. He stepped around the couch, gesturing I stand up. I did so without a problem.

"Mind if I get a look?" He asked, gesturing to my shirt.

"Oh." I said, lifting it over my stomach, "No. Go ahead." He saw the proof clearly, as I stood there.

"You're already running out of room." Emmett pointed out, and I knew it wasn't fully a joke.

"Shut up." I told him, holding my shirt up over my stomach. Without even having to really measure, Carlisle sighed.

"You already look about eleven weeks." He pointed out, "Given how small you are, I'm not surprised you can already feel it."

"I'm not small." I mumbled, "I'm fun-sized." Alice appreciated that one, given her smile. Carlisle gave me a look, telling me I should stop joking.

I let my shirt fall, sitting back down.

"If you're going to do this," He continued, "We'll be doing it the safe way. I'll want to keep track of everything related to you. Everything I can. Blood pressure, weight gain and loss, temperature, everything." I nodded, understanding, "You won't be alone for a moment. Am I clear?"

"I'd prefer not to be." I sighed, "I'd feel better if I was watched. I was alone too much there."

"Edward had an interesting idea." Carlisle went on, "One I'd be willing to try, and I'd like to run it by you." I nodded, letting him know I was listening, "We were just discussing how waiting for Bella to be full term was possibly the wrong way to go." I frowned, trying to understand, "It's possible for human babies to survive on their own as early as six or seven months. Given how much sturdier a hybrid child is, I'd be fully comfortable delivering as early as seven months. Not only is that safer for you, but I believe that it would be quite safe for the baby as well. Would you be comfortable with that?"

I thought about it for a moment. It was a compromise that could possibly ensure I survived this human. How amazing would that be?

"You're the doctor." I replied, nodding a little.

"Now that we know what we're dealing with, I think this should go a little smoother." He sighed, "I still don't like this, but I'm confident it can end well." I nodded, "For it to end well, however, I need you to promise me that you'll let someone know if something happens or changes."

"I promise." I said easily, "This isn't something I'm about to take risks with." Satisfied with that, he nodded.

"Are you up to a quick examination?" He asked, and I sighed. I guess I had no choice. I stood up as an answer, and he nodded.

I followed him upstairs, smiling a little as I followed him into his office.

"When was the last time you've eaten anything?" He asked, taking a book off one of the shelves behind his desk.

"Uh.." I sighed, thinking, "The time difference is really hard to think through."

"It's five in the evening there right now, Leandra." He clarified, which helped.

"Oh, then just over a day." I replied quietly, "I didn't eat before I left."

"After this, I want you to eat something." He said, "I want you to keep something on your stomach as often as you can. It'll help keep you from feeling queasy." I nodded, appreciating the tip.

He took my weight, and measured my stomach. Blood pressure and heart rate next, and everything was written down, probably to track it easier.

"Every day, I'll do this." He informed me, "Just to be as prepared as we can for when things change." I nodded, sitting down as he gestured for me to do, watching as he wrote things down.

"I know how weird this must be." I murmured, looking up at him, "Still deciding to keep it, even after figuring everything out."

"I think I can understand, Leandra." He replied, sighing as he nodded a little.

"It's just.." I smiled a little, sighing as well, "I guess I feel like we were both screwed over by them. I figured it should have at least one person on its side for the right reasons." I looked down. I felt the familiar sensation of my eyes welling up. Fighting to keep the tears back, I looked back up at him, "I never thought before that a feeling could be this strong so quickly. Instantly. I know what I did was stupid, but I can't take it back now."

"You've always had a very big heart, Leandra." He told me, "It really doesn't surprise me that you'd make a very selfless mother."

"I never used to be selfless." I smiled, shaking my head.

"You've always done just what you thought was right." He replied, "You should take some pride in that. I'll admit, hearing this news is a shock to all of us, because we never expected it so soon, and how it happened could have been avoided, but you and the baby will always be accepted here. I want you to know that."

"Why am I always surprised when you never kick me out?" I asked, laughing a little, "Even after all I've done."

"I don't believe anyone should be condemned for their past mistakes, Leandra." He gave me a comforting smile, "You have a good heart, as I've said before. That's what matters in situations like this." He stepped back, letting me stand up, "Let me explain something to you." I listened as we started from the room. Heading down the hall toward the stairs.

"You came to us, not knowing what it was like to be supported or cared about." He murmured, looking over at me, "We offered that to you, unconditionally. That means without conditions, and that means just what it sounds like. It's not supporting you until it becomes too difficult. It's not caring about you until you make a mistake. That means we support and care about you no matter what. I think, after all you've done for us, that's the very least you deserve."

We reached the living room again, and I glanced around before looking back up at Carlisle.

"For the time being, I want you to take care of yourself." He continued, "Get something to eat, and rest. I'm assuming it's been at least that long since you've slept."

"Longer." I said, "I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before." I looked down, "I was up late, trying to explain what I was in for to Josh, and trying to explain why I couldn't just go to Aro like he kept telling me to do." I couldn't help the slight tone of bitterness from entering my voice. Glancing up, I watched as Esme left the room. Headed for the kitchen.

"I need to know everything that went on." Carlisle requested, "Everything that happened there."

"Right now?" I asked hesitantly, "I'd prefer to just forget about it for now."

"I know." Carlisle sighed, "But it'll be helpful. You've explained your involvement with Josh. What about the others?"

"The only one Aro let me spend time with was Josh." I replied, "There was Aidan, but he was just the one guarding my room. No one but Josh was allowed in or out of there. I couldn't even leave, unless it was with him. Even back and forth to the main room I was either followed, or watched very closely."

"What about with the three of them?" Carlisle asked, "Did anything seem off?"

"They all seemed off to me at first." I replied, sighing as I sat on the armrest of the couch, "Caius was the one to correct me. Aro wouldn't do it himself, because he didn't want me to be afraid of him. Marcus.." I sighed, "He's Marcus. Hardly said a thing to me the entire time I was there. He watched me, though. From day one."

"His gift is the ability to see the bonds others have with someone." Carlisle explained.

"Would make sense that he watched her, testing the bond she had with Josh." Jasper pointed out quietly. I didn't like that so much, but chose to shut up about it.

"Anything else?" Carlisle asked me.

I frowned, thinking.

"There was once." I murmured, "I was in a pretty bad mood one day when I had to go in. About.. Two months after I got there, and for the first time, he had me look ahead for you."

"Me?" Carlisle asked, frowning.

"All of you." I clarified, "Just to look. I didn't like that, so I resisted." I looked down, "It was the first, and really the only time I refused to let him take my hand. I yelled at him."

"You yelled at Aro?" Jasper asked, surprised. I nodded a little.

"I did." I replied, sighing as I leaned against the armrest of the couch, "He didn't like that much. He said he was only looking, but it bothered me. I told him it still hurt too much to see you all, but he didn't care about that." I looked back up, "He took my hand anyway. He took my hand, and showed me what would happen if I continued to be difficult. He showed me what would happen to you all if I kept denying him what he wanted. It wasn't a pretty sight."

"That just means we can't let him know we're onto him." Jasper commented, "Otherwise, he'll get defensive."

"Just what I was thinking." Carlisle agreed, glancing to him.

"He sent me back to my room when I started to get a hint of.." I trailed off, standing. Seeing my frown, their attention was captured. I sat back down, shocked I could possibly miss it.

"What?" Jasper asked, sensing my mood drop.

"I was warned." I mumbled, looking to him, "I was warned before anything happened."

"How so?" Carlisle asked, and I covered my face briefly with both hands. As if trying to make this sudden realization go away.

"Josh and I." I looked to Carlisle, "Aro was watching, waiting for something. This was it." I was getting upset now, understanding, "There was no solid decision, so I couldn't see anything more than how much attention he was placing on the both of us. This had to be it. How was I so stupid?" I had to ask that question every time a piece suddenly fell into place.

"Easy, shorty." Emmett spoke from his place by the door, "He gets the best of everyone."

"No." I said, shaking my head, "No. I should have seen it! It was right there in front of me, and I never saw it. He was watching us. I didn't know why. Josh came to my room that night, and told me that I shouldn't have pissed Aro off. That I should just do as he says. He stayed with me that night, and kept me company. When he tried to take me somewhere, Aidan tried to stop us until Aro told him it was okay." I sighed, flopping back down, "I'm so _stupid_."

"Don't beat yourself up." Jasper offered, "You've just never come across anyone so determined."

"I don't care." I said, "I should have seen it." I sighed heavily, running my hands through my hair. I wasn't dealing well with this, "Straight to my face. He lied to me. They both did."

It was quiet for a moment, before I decided to continue. To get passed my own self-hatred, and to continue on with the subject.

"Other than that, there isn't much to tell." I mumbled, shaking my head, "Just the same old business as usual. I had a hard time with seeing the results of things I had nothing to do with, seeing people I didn't even know die pretty violently, but I got over that after awhile."

I looked up as the door opened, Mikah walking in.

"I thought I heard your voice." He smiled a little. My eyes landed on him, and instantly my eyes narrowed. I no longer trusted Mikah as far as I could throw him. I couldn't even lift him, much less throw him, so that went without saying.

"You." I glared, "You stay the fuck away from me." I stood up again and strode instantly from the room.

"Oh, damn." Emmett chuckled behind me, but I ignored it. I wanted to go straight to my room, but I couldn't. I was too hungry to do so.

"Was it something I said?" He asked, obviously confused.

I stepped into kitchen, sitting down and glancing up at Esme. She saw my mood instantly, and placed a glass of water in front of me. I had to wait until she was done cooking, which I understood. I sipped the water gratefully, glaring back toward the living room briefly. I just needed a moment to calm down.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "For my language."

"They're explaining everything." She assured me, "It's alright, honey."

"I'm just so tired." I was suddenly in tears, "Why can't just one person not betray me?"

She rounded the counter, sitting beside me.

"It's going to be okay." She murmured, hugging me, "I know how bad it seems right now, but look on the bright side."

"What bright side?" I sobbed, "How can anything about this have a bright side?"

"We figured it out." She offered, "That's a good thing, right? We're here with you. You're here now, and you're safe here."

"I don't know what I'd do without you guys." I cried, and she only hugged me tighter. She held me, letting me cry for as long as I needed to. I remembered her doing this for me so long ago.

"These emotions are going to kill me." I sniffled once I'd calmed down enough to open my eyes.

"You know," She offered as if I hadn't just had a mini-breakdown right there, "They say you can tell the gender of the baby just by which emotion you feel the most." She smiled a little, and I returned it tiredly, "Probably not this soon, but I'm curious to test that theory."

I watched as she placed a plate in front of me.

"Which is which?" I asked curiously.

"Well, with a boy, you'd be more angry. More confrontational." She mused, "With a girl, you'd cry more often. So they say."

"Good luck being able to tell the difference." I told her, immediately beginning to eat, "You know how confusing my emotions are. If I feel like crying, normally I get mad. To hide it. Until I can't anymore, then I just hide away if I can. That hasn't changed." I paused, "Or I just bite someone's head off."

She smirked, knowing I wasn't as bad about that as I used to be. I'd tamed a lot since my short-fused days as an eleven year old. It was quiet from then on as I ate. I couldn't believe how hungry I was, but I knew better than to eat quickly. That would probably result in a not-so-relieving rush to the bathroom.

Esme kept me company the whole time I sat there, making small talk with me. Making me feel a little better now that I wasn't under interrogation.

I glanced back at Emmett and Mikah entering the kitchen. Emmett's eyes on me.

"Carlisle's going on a 'stuff-you'll-eventually-need' run." He told me, "Any requests?"

"My only request is that you get him away from me." I replied, looking to Mikah.

"Leandra," He said, "I had no idea-"

"Right." I snapped, standing, "I'm done believing your sort."

"I'm sorry." He replied, unable to say much else.

"Tell it to someone who'll buy your bullshit." I stepped passed him, ignoring the way he watched after me. I made my way into the living room, finding Carlisle still standing there. I sighed, coming to his side.

"You're getting what I think you're getting." I pointed out, and he nodded. I shook my head, looking down.

"You're going to need it." He answered, "And the sooner I start stocking up, the better." I allowed that, nodding a little, "The good thing is we know what to look for. You'll be watched. Closely. The second you stop accepting solid food, you'll be moved onto blood."

"See, that doesn't sound appetizing." I said, shaking my head.

"It's a balance." He replied quietly. I stood there quietly for a moment, sighing.

"I'm sorry." I eventually said, "For putting all of this on you."

"You know we'd do anything to help you, Leandra." He replied calmly.

"One thing you should know." I mumbled, "Something I didn't have the chance to tell you before." Glancing up, I saw I had his attention, "Aro's going to stop by. He told me once I'd had a chance to get settled, he'll come by. Just to make sure I'm actually taken care of." He nodded, "He didn't tell me when, but I'll keep on the lookout. I just don't want him showing up to catch anybody off guard."

"Thank you." He replied, "We'll be prepared for that." He sighed, "While I'm gone, I want you to rest. Go get some sleep, Leandra. I'm sure you could use it."

And I did.

Curling into the blanket, I sighed deeply. It comforted me greatly to be back home. In my own bed. I closed my eyes, feeling safer than I had in six months. I just couldn't help but wonder how long it would last, though.

It comforted me greatly that they didn't seem too mad at me. I had expected them to kick me out faster than I could explain, so this was something I needed. I needed to know that they still supported me. Even if this was apparent suicide.

I slept the rest of the day, and the entire night. Hardly moving, from what I could remember.

The second I was awake, though, Edward and Carlisle came into my room. Needing to discuss with me how dangerous my decision really was. I really didn't want to talk about it so soon after waking up, but I knew it was needed. It was explained to me what I was to face in the coming weeks.

Edward joined Carlisle in my room, purely for the added opinion. He knew now what I was going to go through, and they were very thorough in explaining it to me. There was so much I hadn't witnessed before. So much I didn't know, and for good reason.

They decided it was a good time to tell me about what I had in my stomach. A half-vampire baby. That wasn't something I could afford to take lightly, or underestimate. Things I needed to know if I wanted to carry this baby long enough for it to survive.

One, it was much stronger than I was. It wouldn't take long before I would start to feel and see the effects of that. Capable of breaking bones without even meaning to. Stretching, or kicking, things normal babies did, would cause me a great deal of pain and probably injure me.

Two, it would crave blood. Hence, the reason Bella had to drink blood to survive, but in doing so, it would make the baby a lot stronger than it was before. Which would potentially create even more problems. We had to be on the look-out for that.

Three, it was crucial that they get to the baby in time, before full term, because letting myself go into labor would slam that window of opportunity closed. Labor, for a pregnancy like this, would mean death. Simple as that. Once the baby sensed it was time to be born, it would kill me to get free. It wasn't the baby's fault, it would just be instinct. I understood that, but the thought of that turned me pale.

I had a sense that they were trying to make me change my mind.

I cried during these explanations, mostly in fear, but also because I was exhausted. I often got emotional when I was tired, added on the leftover emotion from the day before.

I stiffened as the smell of breakfast cooking up the hall wafted in through the still open door. Instead of making me hungry, like it usually did, I felt a new feeling. Something I definitely wasn't used to yet.

It felt like the equivallent of being punched in the stomach, but it was my own stomach deciding it didn't like whatever was left in there.

As quick as I could, I struggled out of bed around Carlisle. He watched as I darted from the room as fast as I could. Running across the hall toward my destination.

"Leandra?" I heard him call worriedly behind me. I knew he knew what was wrong, however.

Skidding into the bathroom, I didn't even get a chance to close the door before I fell beside the toilet, emptying my stomach. I gasped for air between each wave, holding my stomach with one hand and kept balance with the other. It bothered me now how easily nausea could overtake me.

Up until that point, smells hadn't gotten to me so easily. Up until that point, it had just been myself making me throw up. Now I couldn't handle the once-appetizing-now-nauseating scent of breakfast cooking. It was the weirdest thing to me. I knew it smelled good, but my nose said otherwise.

"Leandra?" It was Edward's voice in the the doorway this time. I groaned and reached behind me with my foot, kicking the door closed. I was tired of being watched.

It took a few minutes before I was able to leave. Rinsing out my mouth, I made sure to cover my nose before leaving the room. I paused beside Carlisle as he and Edward stood outside the door talking.

"Are you alright now?" Edward asked, frowning at me. I went to take a breath to speak, to answer him, and caught the smell of breakfast again.

'_The smell_.' I thought as I spun back into the bathroom.

It didn't take near as long this time before I got myself under control. I kept my hand over my mouth this time. Breathing in only the smell of my sleeve. Communicating only through thought.

'_I don't get it. I usually like the smell of Esme's cooking_.'

After sitting curled on the couch, breathing into my pajama sleeve and nibbling on some crackers, I started to feel a little better. I couldn't stop apologizing to Esme for the reaction I had to the smell. She'd laugh and tell me it was alright. That she understood how morning sickness worked.

A little later in the day, I was feeling a lot better. Hungry even. As it usually went. I still felt pale, but I was okay for now. I tried some soup around lunch time, and that went smoothly. It eased my stomach, and stayed down. Esme sure knew what she was doing.

The rest of the day passed like that, and I was able to hold onto that for the rest of the night. Sitting with Emmett, my mind busier than ever.

Mikah sat watching me from the chair. A ways away from where I sat beside Emmett. The expression in his eyes was one I really couldn't describe. I wanted to tell him to leave, but I didn't. I didn't want any more emotional discussions yet. I just wanted this.

Sitting, doing nothing for once. I'd missed this. Just having someone to sit with. Someone I knew didn't expect anything of me. I thought sure Josh hadn't, but I was obviously so wrong. Emmett, now and then, glanced over at me.

"I don't look any different yet." I mumbled, not taking my eyes off the TV.

"Maybe not to you." He chuckled, "This is so weird, though."

"What?" I asked, looking up from my slightly slouched position.

"You're having a kid." He told me as if it were obvious.

"Not right this minute I'm not." I countered, "It's still cooking." He smirked at my attempted humor, and I returned it. Reaching over, he took my hand. It was a sweet gesture I hadn't realized I'd missed.

"I just think it's weird." He continued, "I just can't see you as anything more than some short tempered little kid."

"I've grown up considerably." I reminded him, "We humans do that."

"You really thought we'd kick you out?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah." I sat up a little, "I remember Bella, and the way she turned out there towards the end. I'm not looking forward to that."

"That was before we knew what the baby wanted." He reminded me, "And you have to remember what all was going on at that time, too. Things are different now, shorty."

"Okay." I nodded a little, relief in my tone.

"This time, we can hunt and we can give the kid what it wants, too." He continued.

"I'd say you have a decent chance, Leandra. I highly doubt you'll get anywhere near that bad." Jasper muttered on his way through the room, "Mikah, a word outside?"

Mikah rose from his seat, crossing the room and following him outside. I ignored that part.

"I can't believe you're letting him stay." I grumbled, looking back to the TV.

"Well, I don't see the point in kicking him to the curb when he's done nothing wrong." Emmett replied, looking down at me.

"That could be a mistake." I muttered, shaking my head. I yawned deeply, unable to help myself. How on earth could I be tired again? Already.

"So." Emmett said, turning a little to look at me, "I can't help it. I have to ask." I waited, looking his way, "Tell me the guy at least made it worth your time." The second I realized what he was asking, I immediately blushed.

"Oh god!" I gasped, "Shut up!" He had to laugh a little, watching me scoot away toward the other end of the couch. Kicking at his arm.

"No, Leandra." He said, shaking his head, "I'm not trying to make fun of you." His smile faded, "I'm honestly worried. I just want to know if he treated you right.. You know.. During. Did he? Treat you right?"

I saw that he was being honest, so I sighed. Sitting up, I stopped kicking him, sitting cross-legged.

"Why do you want to know?" I had to ask, my offended tone easing.

"Because I want to know if I have to beat his face in for more than one reason." He replied simply, and I looked down, "If he at least made it worth your time, it wouldn't make me hate him any less, but it'd be a start."

"Then I don't see how it matters." I replied.

"Come on, Leandra." He sighed, "After the life you've had, I think I can be a little concerned this time too." His tone made me feel for him, so I shrugged a little. Trying to decide how to answer. He waited, not a hint of teasing in his expression.

As much of a jokester he was, this was something he was honestly concerned about. I could see it meant a lot to him that I answered, just so he knew I was treated fairly. I looked back up.

"It was.." I mumbled, trailing off. I didn't know how to describe it, but slowly, I smiled a little, and he returned the smile. Understanding now.

"You won't hear me complaining." I finally mumbled, "I'd say it was definitely worth my time." I couldn't help it. Satisfied by that answer, he sat back.

"I'm just looking out for you." He told me after a moment, "That's all I needed to know." He wasn't being crude, and he wasn't making fun of me like I thought.

Scooting back over, I settled back into the spot I had been before right beside him. He placed his arm around my shoulders, giving me a supporting hug.

I must have wound up falling asleep against him, because the next thing I remembered, it was morning and I was in my own room.

I managed to sit upright, and stretch a little until I felt the nausea start all over again. I wasn't awake five minutes this time, when I had to jump out of bed and scoot across the hall. I nearly fell over, narrowly missed slamming into the wall as a wave of dizziness hit me at the same time.

"Carlisle." I heard Emmett call, "She's puking again." Carlisle had asked to be informed if anything changed.

I just wish he'd used different wording. Just the word 'puke' made me puke.

**A/N: I realize how long this was, but there was a whole lot to explain. :) Believe it or not, I do know what I'm doing.  
THANK YOU to my AMAZING reviewers of last chapter. I appreciate each review I get. :) So I _sincerely_ thank you!  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and are eagerly looking forward to the next. It's not always this dramatic. I swear, it lightens for a short while lol  
Until six, my friends. :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Things began to slow. Not as much as it should have, but enough to ease the worry just enough. It had been a concern before how quickly this pregnancy was going, even compared to Bella's, but we began to see that the baby's growth was starting to pace itself. We hoped that meant that I'd be settling more into the pace Bella's pregnancy had gone. Either way, that gave me, at most, another two weeks.

Four days later, around my sixteenth "week", my nausea started to ease. I was doing very well, considering. I ate a _lot_. My emotions had calmed as well, but there were still plenty of moments I'd start sobbing over absolutely nothing, or snap at someone for existing too loudly. According to Bella, I was doing much better than she was at this point. The only problem I saw, was as Emmett put it, I was out of room.

Jeans weren't possible anymore, so I chose to wear pajama pants and shorts. Best things ever invented. My normal t-shirts no longer hid the fact that I was pregnant, but I didn't have to move up a size yet, even if it was becoming increasingly difficult to get up once I was seated comfortably.

It wasn't a secret to me what gender the baby was, but I didn't feel up to revealing that just yet. I could tell, for a few days now, what it was. It had more to do with what little insight my gift could provide me these days, than just some motherly instinct.

I just really didn't want Alice making a big deal out of it. She would make a big deal out of it no matter what it was, and I knew this, so I thought best to keep it to myself. At least until I was less prone to emotional break-downs. If Edward knew, he wasn't saying anything. Which I appreciated.

Here I was, roughly sixteen, almost seventeen weeks, which was almost five months along, and I had yet to come up with any fitting names. It's not like I had a lot of time to come to terms with the whole thing, though.

"Move over." I barked at Jacob, and he instantly did. I was particularly grumpy that morning, and I was after one snack food in particular. Jake was standing between me, and said snack food.

I was watched closely, however. Measured and weighed every day to make sure I was still doing okay. The baby hadn't started rejecting what I ate yet, but we all knew it wasn't far off. So I ate what I could while I could. Mostly it was healthy foods, things that would give me nutrients to last, but sometimes when Esme wasn't around, I sniffed out the junk food.

My back had started to hurt long ago, but that was because I really wasn't used to carrying so much weight in the front. I was sure that was what also attributed to the grouchiness.

"I feel like a bear before hibernation." I grumbled, sitting at the counter with my bag of chips and bottle of water. Jake knew by now not to comment, so he kept his mouth shut and left the room.

Two days before, I'd hit him. Hence, the wrap around my wrist. He'd very stupidly asked Emmett, clearly loud enough for me to hear with him sitting beside me, if Carlisle was sure I was _only_ sixteen weeks along.

I hit him harder than I had even meant to. Among asking if I was alright, Emmett was rolling with laughter. Jake didn't seem hurt, but he was shocked I'd do it. I'd just clenched my fist and swung. I hadn't done that in awhile.

It confused me to no end how helpful Rosalie had been to me. I remembered her sticking to Bella's side like glue while she was pregnant, but to me, it just creeped me out. I strongly preferred Esme's company or Alice's. They seemed less clingy.

"Leandra?" I sighed heavily at Mikah's voice behind me, "Can I talk to you yet?"

"No." I said, grabbing the bag of chips and standing, "Fuck off." I sought Rosalie this time around, mostly because I knew that with her, all I had to do was say the word and Mikah would be tossed four miles out into the forest.

Bella and Rosalie had chosen to stay home with me while the rest went hunting. Entering the room, they both looked up at me and my expression.

"I don't know how many more times I can apologize." He followed me. Something he usually didn't do.

"Mikah, I'm serious." I told him firmly, "Stay away from me."

"I didn't know this would happen." He insisted, "I thought I was doing you a favor by saving Josh. If I'd known this would be the result, I would have just let him die. I swear." Rose gave me a look, but I didn't reply just yet.

"Don't mention his name." I glared at the floor as I sat down on the couch. I didn't like hearing about him. I was still hurt, and I had to admit, confused. Until I could get the answers for myself, I really wasn't sure how I felt about him. Part of me still loved him very much.

Wanting to change the subject, I looked to Bella.

"Did I chase Jake away?" I asked, and she smiled a little. Nodding.

"He's going to catch up with Sam." She answered, "He said he'll be back by nightfall."

"I know I'm a little hard to tolerate these days." I sighed sadly, "I don't mean to be."

"This is a big change, Leandra." Rose commented, smiling, "We understand. It's just a little difficult for him when you're constantly biting his head off."

"He should have shut up." I shrugged a little, "So he's my target of choice when it comes to my temper."

"It's true." Mikah said, bringing my attention back to him, "Leandra, I swear." He usually didn't press this hard. Normally, he let me change the subject.

"Although, I'm quickly beginning to find a new target." I looked pointedly at Mikah. In his golden eyes, was a very torn expression. Sadness and almost a sort of desperation. When I didn't cuss at him again, he slowly stepped forward. I looked down as he kneeled beside the couch. The look in his eyes had softened my mood enough to let him speak.

"I _didn't_ know." He told me quietly, "I promise on everything I am that I had no idea what Aro was planning."

"How can I know for sure?" I asked, my tone quieter, "Mikah, I want to trust you, but I can't."

"Think about it." He insisted, "Aro wouldn't let me come with you. Because he knew I would catch on." He paused, waiting for me to argue. Instead, I bit into a chip. Choosing not to reply.

"Princess.." He laughed sadly, gaining my gaze again, "You've been my responsibility since you were twelve years old. To _protect_ you. It didn't take long for that job to become personal. Look at me. I wouldn't risk you hating me forever for Aro, or anyone like him. Use your gift. You tell me if I'm being truthful or not."

I sighed, setting the bag of chips down. They weren't agreeing with me at the moment, and I knew if I'd eat one more, they'd come right back up. I didn't know if it was the stress of the conversation bothering my stomach, or if the baby was wanting to be difficult again.

"I can't." I admitted, and he looked down, "No. I mean, I can't. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't. I can't use my gift."

"You can't?" He asked, surprised.

"I've tried." I told him, "It's too hard to see much of anything, and it hurts my head again."

"Wow." He was shocked, "Have you told anyone else about this?" Glancing to Rose and Bella, they looked just as surprised.

"Not yet." I sighed, shaking my head, "I already know what it means. It means the baby has the same gift I do." Mikah frowned, "A long time ago, Alice told me that sometimes prophets have trouble seeing other prophets. It's like.. They just don't show up or something, and when it's such a big part of my life, it becomes a problem."

"So you can't see at all anymore?" Bella asked, and I glanced to her.

"I can, it just takes a whole lot of work, and a headache I'm not looking forward to feeling." She nodded in understanding, "So I avoid trying."

"So.." Mikah prompted, reminding me he was still there.

"So.." I replied hesitantly, "Tell me." I looked to him now, my expression firm, "Tell me truthfully that you had nothing to do with this."

"Princess," He told me, his tone completely honest, "I would rather die than betray you that way." He held my gaze easily, more pleading than uncomfortable, "I've never lied to you, and I would never start now. I know fully how important a pregnancy is. I wouldn't play with anyone's life like that. Least of all, yours. Not for any reason. I've been around long enough that I can remember what it's like to be a good person. It definitely helps to be a part of the family."

He had a point there. He'd had plenty of time to learn from my family. He knew that Jasper and Emmett would skin him if he ever hurt me. He wasn't stupid enough to try. That thought alone helped me enough to nod a little, looking down.

I sighed, "Alright." I mumbled, "You can stay, but the first hint you're screwing any of us over, I'll let Emmett rip you apart." He grinned, nodding, "And believe me, I'd be the first one to tell him to make it painful." I stood up carefully, watching as he stood as well. I let him hug me, returning the hug after a moment.

"Please don't be lying, Mikah." I mumbled into his shoulder, "Let me trust you."

"Aw," I turned at Emmett's voice, "They're making up." I watched as everyone filed in behind him.

"That was a short trip, guys." I frowned a little, my arm still around Mikah, "I would have been fine for another couple of hours."

"Carlisle didn't want to leave you alone for too long." Esme explained, smiling a little at me.

"I wasn't alone." I said, "I had Rose and Bella. And Mikah, too. The worst thing is the baby doesn't like chips anymore."

"These are the kind you normally eat." Esme murmured, confused as she picked up the bag still sitting on the table.

"Peanut is picky now, I guess." I shrugged a little.

"Would you like me to make you something?" She offered, and I shook my head a little.

"No thanks." I replied, "I'm not very hungry anymore." I sighed, stepping away from Mikah, "By the way, Emmett. If you doubt Mikah for a second, rip him to pieces."

"You got it, shorty." He replied, chuckling and greeting Rosalie with a kiss.

"Slowly, painfully." I instructed, "Just so he gets the point." I watched Emmett and Rosalie together for a moment, looking down as I remembered the way Josh would always do that when we'd been apart for any amount of time. My mood dropped drastically, gaining Jasper's attention. He watched me as I looked down.

Before I could cry, however, very suddenly the baby moved. As if it had been startled by something. It was either a tiny elbow, or a tiny foot, but something succeeded in knocking the wind from me.

Okay, now I cried. Briefly, and just a few tears, but I had to sit. That had hurt.

I was surrounded instantly, helped to sit back down on the edge of the couch cushion. I tried to tell those panicking that I was fine, but I couldn't speak yet.

"The baby moved wrong." Thankfully, Edward explained, "She'll be alright in a moment." I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus on breathing.

Edward speaking again took my attention, however.

"Carlisle." His tone was urgent now, "It's Aro."

"Fuck." I gasped, sobbing now. Mikah got moving instantly, falling into step straight behind Carlisle. All but Esme moving toward the door. I couldn't move yet, and the last thing I needed was for Aro to think I wasn't being taken care of. I forced myself to my feet anyway, though, against Esme's wishes.

I made it to the door, listening to Carlisle addressing Aro civilly. I greatly admired his restraint. I made my way through the crowd on the porch, coming to stand between Emmett and Carlisle.

Who all I saw there made it even more difficult to breathe. Aro hadn't come alone, which was a very smart choice for him. Felix and Demetri on either side of him, as well as Aidan, probably for my benefit, Jane and Alec. But who stood off to the right of them had me look away briefly. It was Josh. He'd brought him along. Whether to rub it in, or still believing I was clueless, I wasn't sure.

This was the first time my family had seen Josh this way, but they seemed to be taking it better than I had.

"There she is." Aro's cheerful greeting really made me want to throw up, "I can see you're coming along nicely."

"You saw me." I managed to speak quietly, "I'm well taken care of here, Aro." My tone was bitter, and mean. Much less respectful than Carlisle's had been. I moved my attention from Aro, just so I wouldn't blow it, "Hi, Aidan."

"Leandra." He smiled, "Beautiful as ever." Despite the situation, that made me smile a little. He was always kind to me.

"You're too sweet." I replied, forcing a laugh, "I feel too much like a blimp."

"Not at all." He replied, "I hope you're resting."

"Of course." I answered, "I sleep more than anything." Talking with Aidan was easing me. It made it easier to pretend nothing at all was wrong.

Having had enough of being ignored, Aro stepped forward.

"I've brought someone along with me, my dear." He pointed out, gesturing to Josh, "He's been quite eager to see you."

"I see that." I answered, noting Emmett's tension beside me, "I'm sorry for not being as enthusiastic as I'm sure you were expecting me to be. It's been a tough morning."

"Oh, of course." He gave me a nod, "Of course. I understand. We won't intrude for long. I would, however, like to ask you to step forward." I hesitated, looking up at Carlisle.

"I'm not exactly dressed for spending too much time outside, Aro." I answered impulsively, "A little bit of warning would have been nice."

"I won't keep you long." He was insisting. I had to do as he told me to.

"Leandra." Mikah protested the second I stepped off the porch, onto the first step below me.

"How pleased I am to see you again, Mikah." Aro smiled at him as I continued on, "How _pleased_ I am that you've found yourself a coven." I knew by his tone that he actually hated the idea. It wasn't a secret to anyone how intimidated by my family he was. Now that they'd gained yet another member, he was even less pleased. That, in itself, was enough for Mikah to regain my trust.

However, with each step toward Aro, I grew more uneasy.

My heart was pounding too quickly, and I was getting light-headed. With a sinking heart, I realized he wanted to take my hand. What would he do when he found out that I struggled now to have a vision? Or what would he do if he discovered that my baby had a gift like mine? Or that my family had figured him out?

"Aro, please." I said as my feet hit the gravel in the yard, "I really should be resting."

He waited, not replying to that. I sighed, glancing back at my family on the porch. If any of them took a step off that porch, this little meeting probably wouldn't end well. So I continued on. Each step I took forward, so did Felix and Demetri. Moving until they were closer to my family than I was. Just as a precaution, given the way nobody reacted.

To my surprise, however, it wasn't Aro that stepped forward first. Josh came forward, and enveloped me in his arms. I barely managed to keep myself from protesting, glancing toward my family. He wasn't able to pull me as close as he normally had, given the belly in the way, but his arms encircled my waist almost possessively.

"Leandra." Josh murmured with a quiet laugh, "This is amazing." His hand touched my stomach, and I bit my lip, looking down. This was so hard on me. Knowing he wasn't sincere, but loving the way he was close to me again. I still loved him. As stupid as it was, part of me couldn't help being overjoyed at seeing him again.

A very tearing feeling erupted in my heart, and I desperately wanted to deny the truth. Just so I could keep being like this with him.

"I've missed you." He told me quietly, pressing his forehead against mine, "Are they taking care of you?"

"Yes." I answered immediately, "Very good care of me." My voice shook slightly, trying to hold back the emotion. I had to say it, "I've missed you too." He smiled, kissing my forehead softly. We stood like that for a moment, and I closed my eyes. Tears trailing slowly down my cheeks. The emotion had finally gotten the better of me.

He stiffened ever-so-slightly, having felt what I'd just felt. The baby moved. Much more pronounced than the last time he'd felt it, his grin was contagious, and I couldn't help smiling a little along with him. He laughed.

"Leandra." His eyes met mine, before he looked back down at my stomach. Rationality went out the window. He was happy about the baby. That's suddenly all that mattered to me.

A couple of my family members shifted uncomfortably on the porch, bringing me back to my senses. I hated it. So much. I hated it, I hated it more than anything I'd ever hated before.

"May I?" I flinched a little at Aro's voice behind me, turning to look at him. He wasn't asking for my hand though. He was obviously intensely fascinated at the fact that Josh was able to feel the baby move. I had no choice, and I knew that.

So I stayed quiet as Aro placed his hand over my stomach. Neither denying, or giving my permission.

Sixteen weeks pregnant, the baby shouldn't have any way of discerning dislike of someone, but I sensed it. Though its movements were more pronounced now than they were before, I'd have thought the baby was tired after that particularly rough movement just a bit before. I was wrong, though.

When it moved, it was more of a fluttering tickle normally, but this movement was aimed, and it managed a very kick-like sensation. Right at the spot where Aro's hand was pressed.

I hated the way his expression changed. His eyes brightened, and a smile spread across his face.

"Remarkable." He murmured to me, leaving his hand on my stomach, "Simply astonishing." Yet another kick at his hand had him chuckle in happiness, probably not understanding that the baby wanted him to remove his hand. I couldn't blame the baby. I wanted him to get away from us too.

I met Aro's gaze, and he must have seen how deeply uncomfortable I was, given the way his smile grew and he removed his hand.

The truth was, it actually did irritate me beyond belief when anyone but I touched my stomach. I tolerated Carlisle doing so, because he had to. I let Esme, and the rest of my family without too much complaint because I knew they meant me no harm. This bugged me.

I realized why. I was already incredibly protective of my baby, and Aro being anywhere near my stomach made it difficult to keep my mouth shut.

I let Josh touch my stomach, purely for the fact that I loved him, and without him, there wouldn't have been a baby in there.

Aro chuckled, stepping back.

"I see." He told me kindly, "It's time for us to be going. However, before we depart, I'd like to know how much longer I'm to be without you, Leandra."

"Aro, about that.." I mumbled, trailing off, "I want to discuss the possible options of staying."

"Unacceptable." He told me flat out, and I had to admit, I expected that. His tone was suddenly firm, no longer amused. Just the thought of me refusing to return with him had turned his mood three-sixty.

"Just for a little while after the baby is born." I reasoned, looking back up, "I know you told me immediately after it's out, that I have to leave again, but-"

"And that is how it will work." He said, "Turned or not, you and the infant will be returning with me. I'd like to know how much longer you've to go."

"You're not taking my baby." I told him, unable to help it, "The baby is mine to decide what to do with, and I'm choosing for it to stay here."

"Leandra." He smiled, chuckling, "You seem to misunderstand."

I was about to blow everything. I had to shut up, and I had to do it now. He watched me struggle with myself, taking a step back away from him.

"Luckily," Aro told me quietly, "There is still time for you to learn to accept the fact that I still own you. You're my property, Leandra, which makes the child my property-"

"Like hell." I had no idea where that tone had come from. That seemed to surprise him as much as it'd surprised me. I looked down instantly, "You don't own my baby, Aro. You never have, and you never will." My disrespect was blatantly obvious.

Telling Aro he couldn't have something was as good as suicide.

"I could always choose for you to finish out this pregnancy in Volterra." He mused quietly, and my breath caught. Knowing what that meant, "What do you think?" I looked up at him, shutting up, "Is that what you'd prefer?"

"I wouldn't survive there." I pointed out quietly.

"Pity." Was his only response, and the silence that followed was intense. Very intense. Almost suffocating. I knew without a doubt that he wasn't bluffing. He'd definitely do it. Even without knowing the gift my baby had.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke now, breaking the silence.

As a test, I took a step back. Aro's eyes were on me the entire way, but I managed to move back without him telling me to stay. I stepped onto the bottom step carefully. Knowing I had zero chance against Aro or what he wanted to do. It was such a heavily helpless feeling.

"I'll return another day." Aro told me, "And I'll choose to forgive your blatant disobedience. Hormones." He nodded to me, "I trust you'll behave better when I return."

I closed my eyes, looking down.

"Josh," Aro spoke, "Say your goodbyes and let us be going." Aro turned, slowly moving away. His back to us as he spoke quietly with the accompanying members of his guard.

I jumped a little at Josh suddenly in front of me, "Are you crazy?"

"What?" I asked, "You're kidding, right?"

"Leandra, you can't challenge him like that." He told me, glancing toward my family behind me, "Just do what he says. It's not that hard, is it?"

"How can you say that?" I snapped, "You've seen what kind of life-"

"Your life there really wasn't that bad." He countered, "You had a room, you were fed, and nothing could hurt you. What more could you ask for?"

"How about honesty?" I shouted now, my voice echoing in the yard. He frowned, as if he were confused. We stood like that for a moment, just staring each other down. I wasn't about to back down, though. He glanced behind me again, before sighing. Irritatedly, he shook his head.

However, a small, very faint smile came to his face. It wasn't a comforting smile, however. It was an understanding one. I'd never, ever seen someone's character change so very much with just a smile. Not with Jack, not with Ken or Zack. Never. This shocked me into silence, and numbed me.

Letting him take the opportunity to reach up, gently cupping the side of my neck. His fingers playing with my hair at the back of my neck. He knew I loved it when he did that, and now was no different.

"It might just be too soon to say this," He told me softly, "But I think it's safe to say that you're a lot smarter than you used to be." He chuckled quietly, "I'll see you again soon, Leandra." He pulled me up, and kissed me before I could protest.

I was instantly lost in the feeling. There was no denying it, or resisting it. I hated it, but I kissed him back. My hands balling in his shirt, and his chuckle against my lips. I bit at his lip in my hatred. Not hard enough to hurt myself, but enough to get my point across. He knew I hated him for what he did, but he also knew I loved him irrevocably. I was helpless in his hands.

"Leandra." Jasper called to me, bringing me back to my senses. My head spun with the emotions, and I clenched my teeth in my hatred induced tears. What the hell was wrong with me?

I started to struggle, but Josh easily held me to him. Stealing my breath with a continued kiss, his strength no match for mine.

I jerked back with more force this time, and he let me. I nearly lost my balance, and I started to fall, but thankfully, I was caught. He turned, shaking his head as he walked away. The growl from the one who caught me followed Josh as he left. Looking up, it was Emmett who caught me, but Mikah stood just in front of him. Glaring after him.

There was no mistaking the heat in Mikah's eyes. The definite, intense way his jaw was set. He wanted to hurt him.

I knew without a doubt that Josh had figured it out. He knew we knew, so it was only a matter of time before Aro knew. I was in tears before the front door even closed behind us, the hopelessness of the situation finally squashing me. The hopelessness and fear at what just happened.

"How can I compete with that?" I sobbed, sitting down, "How can that happen?" I looked around, "How can I hate someone, but love him? Someone please explain, because I'm so confused."

"It's part of how we're made up." Jasper spoke quietly, "It's not love you're feeling, Leandra. You're drawn in like you're supposed to be."

"I thought you said we were instinctively afraid of you?" I asked, trying so hard to understand.

"You are." He said, "But with that fear, comes a sort of infatuation. Especially if they use it against you like that. Lulling you with a very false sense of security. It's classic." That made sense. Aro did it all the time. Hence, why I knew the gentler his voice got, the more the humans should fear him. He was very good at it.

"What should I do about Aro? There's nothing I can do, and he knows it." Esme sighed sadly and sat beside me, "No matter what I do, it hurts someone. Why can't I just have my way? Why can't what I want be taken into consideration? It's not fair!"

"Aw, shorty." Emmett murmured, "It'll be okay."

"I don't understand!" I cried, tears just rolling in rivers down my cheeks, "I'll be the first one to tell anybody that life isn't fair, but when will it at least even out? Why am I always the one that has to lose? Why do I always have to make the choice between hurting the ones I love, or hurting the ones I love?"

I folded forward as much as I could, crying into my folded arms on my knees, "When spending time with my family can be considered selfish, and when that could just get them into trouble. I'm so tired of having to be the one losing!"

Esme rubbed my back, "There isn't much else the whole fucking world can take from me until it ends up being my life. I'm so sick of this." I gasped for another breath, "I just.. I want to be selfish, and I want to just have what I want. I want my family, and I want a life where I don't have to worry about someone _dying_ anytime soon! It's not _fair_!"

"Life isn't fair!" I shouted, sitting straighter for a better breath, "It's not fair, but it seems to be more fair to some more than others! When the right choice is the one that hurts the most, and takes the most! M-Make it stop! If this is the way life is, then fuck it! I'm tired of it!" Nobody said a word, letting me rant.

"I'm tired." I cried, quieter now, "I'm _so_ tired of having what I want held in front of me, and just when I try to reach for it, it's yanked out of my reach. And I'm just expected to be okay with it." I glanced around, before I closed my eyes and hung my head, "Why am I always the one losing? There isn't much left I can give to please everybody at once. I'm only one person."

Esme's arms enveloped me, and she hugged me tightly. I couldn't tell anymore if this was the emotions talking, or if I'd just had enough. I couldn't tell if this was brought on by the pregnancy, or if this had been just building up and building up. It was still quiet in the room, and I couldn't help it.

"I want my son to grow up somewhere he never has to know the way this feels." I knew they caught on. They heard the one key word that would tell them what to expect, "I want him to have everything I never had as a kid. I want him to know he's safe, and that he's loved. I want him to have everything he wouldn't get in Volterra."

"It's a boy?" Alice was the one to ask, barely able to contain her excitement.

"It's a boy." I confirmed, nodding with unshed tears in my eyes. Unable to help it, she squealed and clapped her hands.

"I'm sorry." She said almost urgently, "I know you're having a moment, but I want you to know that this baby will have everything he'll ever want."

"No." I said, "It's okay. You're actually helping me. I just.." I melted a little again, "I don't know how to convince Aro to let him stay here when I have to go. I want to protect him, to keep him from that kind of life, but I can't."

"For right now," Carlisle spoke up, "Don't worry too much about it." He was right. Letting myself get too worked up was bad for both me and the baby. I took a deep, sniffling breath in, nodding a little, "I just want you to relax. Let us focus on this. You focus on resting."

"I want to know." I mumbled, looking to Edward, "What were they thinking?" He sighed, looking to Carlisle.

"Josh knows." He answered finally, "He knows we've figured it out, but Aro doesn't yet."

"I know that already." I told him, "What else?"

"We were right in assuming Aro wants the baby for his own." He replied quietly, "We were also right in assuming Josh knew about it the entire time, but now that he's seen you, something's different."

"I suppose you're going to tell me that he feels guilty." I mumbled, standing slowly.

"In a way." He responded.

"That's a load of bull."

"Leandra," Carlisle called my attention again, "I want you to eat something."

"I'm really not that hungry." I sighed, "I'm actually surprised these chips have stayed. Of course, the distraction helped."

I did manage to keep what I had eaten that day, however. The queasiness eased, but I wasn't about to push it by eating anything else. My nausea eventually came back, but I managed to keep from throwing up.

It became two weeks that I'd been home, and I'd gained another two weeks. Unfortunately, I'd gotten into the time in the pregnancy when the baby would grow quickly. Five and a half months, closer to six when Carlisle measured me again two days later.

It seemed even more apparent every day I was even less prepared for this. Not only because of the belly I was getting. Everyday, I was a little rounder when I woke up. I was miserable.

I sighed deeply, and tried to stop crying.

I was so scared, terrified every waking moment that I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Not only about the fact that I was pregnant. I was actually _pregnant_. I mean, a human baby would be bad enough. But a vampire baby? How was I supposed to cope? I knew my family was confident, but I was still so scared. How was I going to survive? Would I have to be turned like Bella had to? What if I didn't want to be? What if I died?

So many questions pulsed through my mind I had no way of stopping them. I knew the family had dealt with this sort of thing before. They knew what to do, and I remembered Bella's pregnancy very vividly. I'd been there for it. Which comforted me slightly, but the fact that my symptoms were so much more accelerated had me worried.

It was worse because I knew I'd brought this upon myself. I tried my best not to cry in front of anyone else, only saving it for when I was alone, but it was hard.

It was hard enough dealing with this, but to know what waited for time to pass scared me even more. I felt the pressure, the intense anticipation even without Aro around. I could only imagine what that meant, but I could tell it was just my overactive imagination and emotions squeezing me that way, instead of my gift.

My gift was even less accessible now.

I was examined twice every day now. Just to make sure the growth rate hadn't sped up, or I wasn't in any unusual pain. I was physically fine, but space only continued to get tight. Every time I thought sure I couldn't get any bigger, I managed to.

I thought a lot now, having a lot on my mind. So much more than just baby names.

"Leandra?" I looked up at Mikah's voice, "Did you hear me?"

"No." I sighed, "I didn't. Sorry. Lost in thought again."

"I asked if you'd like anything to drink." He murmured and I shook my head a little.

"Thanks, but no. I'm alright." I replied, sighing.

"Have you had enough water today?" Mikah asked, and I looked to him. Frowning a little, "Second oldest in my family, remember? My mom's last two pregnancies were the hardest on her."

I nodded, understanding now, "I doubt they were this hard."

"They weren't this hard, it's true." He admitted, "But I still think the same rules apply."

"There are rules?" I smirked a little, "Pray tell."

"Well, for one, letting yourself get too dehydrated is a bad thing." He said, "So is letting yourself feel too stressed. Denying yourself sleep."

"It's a little hard to sleep, when this one decides nighttime is the perfect time to start jumping around in there." I grumbled, looking down at my stomach, "He understands when I hate someone, but apparently, the concept of sleep is foreign to him." I sighed, looking back up, "I'm carrying a nocturnal child."

"Apparently." Mikah was amused now. Slightly, but amused all the same.

"But yes." I answered, "I had almost too much water today. I've been peeing every five freaking seconds. I think the baby thinks its fun that if he moves just right, I have to get up too."

I suddenly flinched.

"Kid, you kick that around one more time, I'm charging rent." I growled down at my stomach, "Knock it off." The baby stretched, but otherwise stopped. During his stretching, I held my breath. Squeezing my eyes shut. He was getting stronger, and I could clearly feel the fact that he was much stronger than I was. Instead of it tickling, or being slightly uncomfortable, it hurt me now. The baby stopped moving, and I let out my breath, whimpering quietly as I did so.

Mikah was amused, until I started to cry. My shoulders slumping tiredly, my hands covering my face as I suddenly burst into tears. The room suddenly became populated as Mikah changed seats to sit beside me.

"Are you hurt?" He asked me.

"No." I sobbed, "I'm tired!"

"Get some rest." Mikah offered, "The baby will settle down the longer you lay-"

"No he won't." I cried, "He doesn't sleep." That was a lie, and I knew I was overreacting, but my nerves had just had enough. The unending grating on my nerves was getting to be too much. I was in pain, uncomfortable, nauseous and very, _very_ upset.

Mikah put his arm around me, and I willingly leaned against him. His hand rubbed my arm soothingly, letting me cry. Knowing offering solutions wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to bitch, which he didn't seem to mind listening to.

"I've never been so tired in my life, and I haven't even done anything." I sobbed quietly, "I ache in places I didn't even know I had, and the baby thinks it's fun to kick me around." I also knew that was a lie. It was doing what came natural to unborn babies.

"I know." He told me, "It's hard, I know. You'll get through this, though. I know it."

"I know it too, but it still sucks!" I bawled, wishing I wasn't so emotionally unstable. He continued to rub my arm soothingly, until he sat me up.

I looked at him, confused until he turned me around the couch. Gathering my hair, he cleared it from my shoulders. Letting it drop down my back. I was about to ask, when I felt his hands on my shoulders, starting to massage.

All confusion flew out the window, and I sighed, melting under his hands. I smiled, probably enjoying this more than I should. I adjusted how I sat, cross-legged now, and more comfortable. Not only was it very sweet, what he was doing for me, but it helped. More than he knew.

I stopped crying after a few minutes of that, and it felt to me as if he were trying to massage away all my stress. It was working. It was difficult to concentrate on anything but the massage. It was like he knew exactly what hurt most, and he worked out the knots easily. One by one.

"You try too hard." He pointed out, "To deal with this all on your own, princess." I couldn't help smiling a little whenever I heard that nickname, "You're too tense."

"I got myself into it." I murmured, my eyes closed, "Why shouldn't I deal with it on my own?"

"Because you're human." He said as if it were obvious. It was obvious. I was in a much better mood now that I was less achy.

"So?" I asked, "I think you doubt me." My eyes narrowed, and I turned back around to face him. Now sitting cross-legged in front of him, "For someone who's watched me since I was twelve, you sure don't know me very well."

"I know.." He mused, "That you're stubborn."

"There you go." I smirked slightly, "I know this is impossible, but I'm going to do it anyway. You know why?"

"Why?" He asked, playing along. I leaned forward, glaring playfully.

"Because I can." He smiled in return, watching as I attempted to stand up. Offering his hand when I had a little bit of trouble doing so.

I always thought it was the eighth or ninth month that gave women the problem with getting up from sitting, but I should have figured I'd have problems earlier on. Given how small I was, and given how much room the baby already took, it took me gaining momentum before I could stand. And even then, it took Mikah's hand on my lower back to help me to my feet.

"I would have gotten it eventually." I laughed a little, watching him stand as well. So far, he'd been the only one the entire time able to get me out of a mood like that so quickly. At least, not without using a gift. Even then, I had always kept some form of irritability.

"I know that." He agreed, smirking, "But you were taking too long, miss impossible." I hardly noticed how crowded the room still was. I laughed, looking down as I shook my head. Feeling a little awkward suddenly.

That night I was beginning to get very frustrated with the baby, feeling him moving every time I started to fall asleep. About the third time I sobbed loudly in angry irritation, flinging upright and pulling at my hair in frustration, Mikah entered the room. A coffee mug in his hand. I already knew what was in the cup. Thankfully, it wouldn't be coffee. The baby didn't need caffeine.

"Want some company?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Please." I said, "Before I lose my mind." I rubbed my eyes lightly as he neared, offering the mug in his hand. Taking it from him, I sipped it gratefully. Just as I thought. Mint tea, I found, was the best drink in the world to calm my stomach when it was being iffy.

"The baby is being active again?" He asked, glancing down at my stomach.

"Feel for yourself." I offered, taking another sip and at first he seemed surprised I'd offer, as he hesitated. He knew by now how much it irritated me for anyone to even glace at my stomach. I reached over and took his hand. Finding the spot he'd feel the most kicks, I placed his fingers over my stomach. Sure enough, the baby kicked less than five seconds later.

He smiled a little, leaving his hand there though mine moved to support the cup I had in my hand. The baby moved again, this time more of rolling over a bit. I was used to feeling the movement, but Mikah's smile brightened even more. Mine did as a result.

"That has to feel so strange." He murmured, and I laughed a little.

"It does." I nodded a little, resting the cup lightly on my folded knee, "I'm pretty used to feeling it by now, but that's what keeps me up at night."

"I can see why." He chuckled, "So.." He obviously had something on his mind, but he trailed off. I kept my eyes on him, waiting patiently for him to speak, "Have you seen.. You know, seen yet what the baby's going to be like?"

I smiled a little, looking down.

"I know." He said, "It's stupid to ask."

"Not at all." I argued instantly, "It's not stupid at all. I'd be curious too." I paused for another slow sip from the cup, "I've tried to look, yes."

"And?"

"And.." I sighed, my hand subconsciously resting over my stomach, "I can't. It's even harder, if not impossible to see anything anymore. And.." I shrugged a little, "Well, it scares me even more. The fact that I can't see anything about what's coming? I never thought it'd suck so bad not having the use of my gift."

"I thought you weren't worried about pulling this off?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm not." I said instantly, "I know I can do it, but.." My thumb massaged the latest kick spot, "It's not _me_ I'm worried about, you know? What scares me the most is being a mother. Vampire baby or not, it doesn't matter to me. It scares me, Mikah." I trailed off, looking down.

"I can't imagine why you'd be so scared." He admitted after a minute. He moved, from the side of the bed to sit beside me.

"I'm not scared of very many things." I tried to explain, "But the thought of being considered a mother scares me more than anything else I'm afraid of. I mean, I think of my own mom, and I've always sworn I'd never have kids. Not one, because I know I'll just screw them up."

"That has to be the most foolish thing I've ever heard." I rolled my eyes at his response, "Leandra, I mean it. Your mother had the instincts, but she chose to ignore them for alcohol." I looked to him, surprised that he knew so much, "She failed you there, but I can tell you right now that you won't make the same mistake."

"How do you know?" I asked, my hand smoothing circles over my stomach. I had no idea why I did that, but it seemed to calm both me and the baby at once.

"Because of that." He nodded toward my hand, "That's an instinct, Leandra. Only a fraction of the instinct you'll get the moment you see your baby for the first time. It's instant. You won't even know it happens until you notice it later on." I smiled a little, continuing with the circles.

"I know how silly it sounds." I admitted.

"Your fear is justified." He replied softly, "But you have no reason to worry. I think you'll be a wonderful mother."

"You think?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. He smiled in response.

"I know." He answered, "You're smart, you're brave, and you're very loving." He turned me a little until my back was to him again, and he scooted closer. Massaging my shoulders again softly, "You'd do anything for your family, and that'll only be stronger when it comes to the little one. Don't let your past get in the way of enjoying what's to come." His soft voice never failed to soothe me. I closed my eyes, listening to him speak.

"You'll see." He murmured behind me, "And besides. You have so much support behind you. Not only me, but your family. People who've been there for seven years now, almost eight. Who've watched you grow up, and want nothing more than to see you happy and safe. People who love you, and care about you, and would drop everything to help you if needed. There's literally no chance of you messing up." He had a very big point there. I hadn't even thought of that.

"Thank you." I whispered, much calmer about the thought now. I turned a little, facing him more. He smiled down at me, and I set my cup on the table. Kneeling up, I wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug. He didn't hesitate in returning the hug. I closed my eyes, sighing a little. It really had only been a thanking gesture. I hadn't even considered how close we'd gotten.

"We'll be there every step of the way." He murmured to me, and I pulled back a little. Just to be able to look into his eyes.

I had no idea what came over me, but I had no control over what I did. Maybe it was the fact that Mikah had been so sweet to me ever since I told him he could stay, and I needed, desperately needed affection, but my eyes closed, I leaned forward and pressed my lips softly to his. Not daring to breathe for the several seconds it took for him to press his back to mine. When he did, I breathed in deeply, instantly wishing I could make this moment last forever.

His hands came from around me, only to gently but firmly grasp my hips. Giving me freedom to move if I'd wanted to, but supporting me. Demanding nothing, but giving, just as much as I gave him. Never overstepping, but letting me lead the kiss.

Things seemed to fall apart rather quickly.

First, my heart skipped a couple of beats the second I felt him increase the pressure against my lips. I didn't mind it.

Then, as if to remind us of his presence, the baby kicked. Rather roughly, and as hard as he could it felt like. There was definite force behind that kick, and it hurt. A lot. More than it had just a few days before.

I had to break the kiss, doubling over and grasping my stomach in pain, struggling to regain my breath. Worried, Mikah kneeled up beside me, his hands ready to assist me. I accepted his help to sit back down, squeezing my eyes shut as I choked on an attempted breath.

I thought it was over, when the baby kicked again, and I lost what breath I had managed to get. Involuntary tears trailed from my eyes as I struggled to breathe. I was getting desperate to breathe now, and I was actually getting pretty worried at this point.

Hearing my distress, the door opened across the room, and Carlisle came in. There wasn't much he could do either, except smooth my back. I expected a third kick, but it never came. I managed to pull in a few relieving breaths and opened my eyes. The baby was pretty still now, and I couldn't help being surprised.

Looking to Mikah still beside me, he was just as surprised.

After that, I was watched closer, never alone a moment.

When I started to throw up the moments later, I knew something had changed. Something was different. Usually, the evenings were my time to recover from the morning's bout of nausea. I still wasn't too worried, however.

That came another two days later when I still hadn't managed to keep anything down. Not food, or even water. Nothing I tried worked, only made me more sick. I hadn't imagined yet being this miserable. The morning sickness was absolutely _nothing_ compared to this.

And oh god the pain. There was no way to describe the pain of needing to throw up, but having nothing left to give. At first, the dry heaves were tolerable. I could deal with it, but after a day and night solid of it, I was so tired of it.

With nothing left to give but tears, I cried. I knew the alternative was coming, but I really didn't want to go that route. It still didn't sound appealing to me. I resisted the thought as much as I could.

It was times like this I was partly glad my mother wasn't here to see me like this. I leaned heavily on the toilet, clinging to it for dear life, which had become the norm. Trembling with weakness I'd never imagined, I could almost feel the tension throughout the entire house. Involuntary tears escaped my eyes as I felt another wave hit me. Dry heaves. The worst thing ever.

I wished it was days ago, when I could leave the bathroom.

I had tried to stay out in the living room, or my bedroom, but the being watched in such misery bothered me. Sure the floor was uncomfortable, but so was throwing up, or attempting to, in front of many anxious eyes.

I took an audible breath, letting it leave me in a quiet sob. Closing my eyes in deep exhaustion, I focused on breathing instead of the dizzying nausea.

I chose to stay in here, it was more private. Almost comforting. I felt more comfortable here. I hated having things done for me, so dammit, I was going to puke on my own.

I'd gotten myself into this, I'd get myself through it.

**A/N: I don't think I've ever attempted to write so much throwing up before. Yucko. And oh my GEE the emotions. Ugh!  
So. What'd ya think? I like how it came out, even if it is too long.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last chapter!  
Don't worry. The throwing up subject will be much less frequent next chapter. I promise.**  
**Short A/N this time around, guys. Pretty tired, and hungry so I have to go hunt for food. ;D  
Until seven, my friends. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I sat there, stalling for as long as I could.

Today was the day. The day when enough would be enough. Today was nothing but dry heaves, incredibly powerful and painful dry heaves. I had nothing left to give. My sides and stomach hurt so much, just breathing was a chore.

I wished I had even imagined this coming. They said it would get worse, but I never thought it'd be this bad. This painful and this weakening. One minute I was fine- well, as fine as could be in this situation- and the next, I couldn't hold anything down. It was getting worse and worse. It's like a switch had been flipped in me, and I just started sliding downhill. My strength was leaving me faster than I could try to hold onto it, and I ached everywhere. Literally. The crown of my head, down to my toes felt like it should have been bruised black.

The bruises that covered my stomach now told me how hard this was going to be from here on out.

I didn't bother to turn at the whisper behind me. I knew I was an object of fascination these days. I leaned back weakly onto my heels on the bathroom floor, wiping my forehead with my palm, as if trying to stop my head from spinning.

Letting out an involuntary sob, I couldn't help wondering if I actually was strong enough for this. I honestly didn't know, and certainly didn't feel that I was. I braced my hands on my kneeling knees, focusing on breathing so I could get maybe a moment of time without having to throw up.

Time was coming to a close, and the closer I got to month seven, the more nervous I got. Time was something I no longer had, and I knew I'd better get used to the idea that sometime soon, I would be either surviving, or dying trying to give birth to a baby boy. I was approximately six and a half months along now. Another two days or so, and I'd be there. Weeks in days, how was that supposed to be predictable?

I took a deep breath, using what strength I had to fall back against the wall across from the toilet. A cushion had been brought in for me yesterday, for which I was grateful. This is where I slept, this is where I spent all of my time. Sitting on the floor.

I felt like I had three cases of food poisoning all at once. All piled on top of each other. I couldn't even drink water anymore, though I was desperately thirsty. Every time I tried to, it'd come right back up.

The baby had begun to reject everything that would keep me alive. Demanding its own needs be met now. He wasn't happy with what I needed.

I looked weakly over toward my spectators. Carlisle and Esme. The nervous parents of the mommy-to-be. I leaned my head back, trying so hard to ignore the waves of dizziness trying to overcome me. My head pounded and I was always cold. My stomach was torn between debilitating hunger, or overwhelming nausea. It was the most painful thing I could remember. Like starving to death, but not really willing to try eating anything, for fear of throwing it up.

Knowing what the result would be, I didn't know what to do anymore.

I probably fell asleep there, because I woke up in my bed again. Laying on my side facing the door. My arm resting over my belly, my arm folded under my head. It was very disorienting to wake up somewhere other than where I remembered being before.

Laying there was even exhausting. I was getting more and more tired each second, but when I opened my eyes, noticing I was in my room again, I noticed who else was there with me.

In Carlisle's hand was a lidded cup, and I knew immediately what it was. I really wasn't looking forward to this.

"No more chances, Leandra." He told me gently, "I can't watch this happen to you anymore."

"I know." I murmured weakly, my voice hardly making a sound. It was still a great feat that I'd managed to make it this far without needing it, "I know."

He nodded ever so slightly, stepping forward and sitting beside me on the bed. Helping me to sit up slowly. I whimpered in pain, wincing as the movement woke up the baby, and it moved. Stretching a little, he pressed on my bottom rib. I held my breath, waiting for the pop that would indicate he'd pressed too hard. The pressure against it only increased slightly until it stopped.

When it stopped, and the baby was still, I started to cry. I didn't blame the baby, but I blamed myself. For having to worry about it at all. If I'd been stronger, then I wouldn't have anything to worry about. My hands came up, resting over my belly, wishing I knew how to put into words how I was feeling. Just so Carlisle wouldn't have to worry. I was in pain, and a whole lot of it, but I wasn't hurt.

And just like that, my emotions ran away with me again. I was tired, and in pain. I was sorry for making the family worry like this, but selfishly glad I wasn't going through this alone.

"Leandra?" Carlisle prompted and I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." I cried, shaking my head, "I'm sorry for putting you through this."

"Leandra, it's alright." He told me, "I assure you."

"You have to say that." I trembled as I cried, "You're my dad, but it's not fair to you, or to anyone else what I'm doing."

"You're under far too much stress to let yourself worry about us as well." He murmured firmly, "Don't."

I looked up at Carlisle, noting his concern. I sobbed, looking back down and fixing the sleeves of my sweatshirt. Trying to cover my cold fingers.

"You're expecting yourself to do this all on your own." He continued, "Don't. Getting you through this is, and has been from the beginning, a group effort. You can't do this alone. For once, just this once." His tone had turned pleading. I looked back up, never having heard it that pleading before, "Just this one time, Leandra. Choose to let us _help_ you." He held up the cup.

I looked from his eyes to the cup, sobbing quietly now.

"Carlisle, I'm so scared." I admitted, "I can't see _anything_ about what's to come. I don't know." Given his surprise, no one had told the others about my confession that day.

"You can't see?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"It's just gone." I mumbled, sniffling, "It started off as it just being difficult to see anything, but now I can't even try. You know what that means, right?" He was quiet, "It means the baby has the same gift I do. I didn't know that was something I could pass on, but apparently, it is." He frowned in thought, glancing to the side. Right at the crowded doorway. Edward and Esme stood just inside the door, and Mikah in front of them.

"We'll figure this out." He assured me, "For now, though, you need to drink this." He lifted the cup again, and I sighed shakily. Trying to calm down.

"Aro can't find out about this." I mumbled, "Having my gift wouldn't be enough for him. What little chances I have of convincing him to let the baby stay here would go straight out the window."

"Leandra." He gestured to the cup again.

"So I need you to promise." I sat straighter, my tone urgent, "That if the next time he shows up, after the baby is born, if he takes my hand, I want you and Esme to take the baby and run." I was getting too worked up. I knew it, and Carlisle knew it.

"Leandra-"

"I know what that will mean," I admitted, looking down, "I know, but I can't help it. I can't let Aro get his hands on the baby."

"Leandra, please." It was Esme that spoke now.

"I can't, because I know." I plead, shaking my head, "I know what that'll mean for him, and I don't want that." I sobbed twice more, hugging my stomach a little tighter, "I won't let him go through that. I won't let him grow up, being treated like nothing but an object. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure he's safe, and loved. Something I only knew for such a short time."

It was quiet now, as they listened to me making my request. Mikah and Edward looked down, Esme listening just as intently as Carlisle was. I had to continue, though. I needed to say what I needed them to hear. I was being as honest as I could. Blunt and to the point.

"So I need you to promise." I looked to Carlisle again, "Promise me. That even if it means leaving me behind, you'll protect him."

He sighed, looking down.

"Because I'm so scared that there'll come a time when I can't be here." My tears fell faster, "I'm so afraid that I won't have a chance to see him grow up, or teach him everything he'll need to know." I had to pause for a few sobs. It was so hard to speak with as much strength I was, and Carlisle knew that.

"Carlisle, I'm not afraid of not making it through the birth." I said, shaking my head a little, "I know that I have as good of a chance at living through it as I'm ever going to have. I trust you. I'm afraid of Aro taking me, and I'll never see my baby again. And as much as that hurts me to think about, the only way that'll even be somewhat tolerable for me is if I know he's with you, and you'll teach him what he needs to know."

This had to be hard to hear.

"Please." I mumbled, and he looked back up, "If there is one last thing I'll ever ask for, it's to know that he's safe, and that he has the best father," I glanced to Esme, "And the best mother in the world raising him."

Esme's gaze softened, saddening.

"For as long as I've known you, you've done nothing but pull off miracles. You completely changed my life, and because of that, I know you're my first choice in raising him for me when I can't be here." I paused, "You two can do more for him than I can even dream of doing. I trust you two most with my life, and I'm asking you to let me trust you with my son."

It was quiet in the room for a moment, and I waited. I wasn't touching the cup of blood until I had an agreement. I needed this.

"Please." I whimpered quietly now, continuing to wait.

"Alright, Leandra." Carlisle said after a moment longer, "I'll do what I can." I sighed in relief, my desperate sobs easing into ones of relief. After a few breaths, I nodded as well.

"Thank you." I sighed, "Thank you."

"Now, please." He lifted the cup once more, and he didn't have to tell me twice. I already remembered how it worked with Bella. As grossed out as I was back then, I was even more grossed out about it now.

I weakly reached out a hand for the cup. Edward leaned against the door frame and watched, no doubt wanting to be there in case I needed to be convinced further. Edward knew better than anyone that this was the one miracle cure for this.

I gripped it, but when I nearly dropped it, Carlisle caught it and held it up for me. I smelled it, even inside the lidded cup. To my surprise, though, the smell repelled me. Instead of testing to make sure I could keep it, I took a deep breath and drank from the straw. Not stopping to think about it, I just pulled as hard as I could.

Chugging it as quickly as I could, my nose wrinkling at how I tasted it. The blood was hard to swallow, but I kept going. Knowing it was needed. Knowing without it, I'd die. I had to stop eventually for air, but didn't give myself much time for that. I knew already I had to finish it, even despite how my stomach turned.

Was that supposed to happen?

I wasn't sure how I felt about drinking blood from a cup. I knew I was grossed out by it, but it definitely made sense to me. Half-Vampire baby. Needs blood to survive, of course. Wouldn't accept anything else until it had what it wanted.

I leaned back forward, and took a bigger drink. Closing my eyes and scrunching my nose again, I took to pretending it was Kool-Aid, and I took more. Not daring to breathe anymore, knowing the second I did, I'd gag. Chugging the thick liquid, until I heard the sound of air in my straw.

I leaned back, closing my eyes. Concentrating desperately on keeping it. I really hated the painful way my stomach turned. I blinked my eyes open, still not daring to breathe. I noticed Edward's frown, his arms uncrossing as he stepped further into the room. Something about this situation confused him.

My stomach, at first, wanted to reject it. As if the baby was expecting the liquid to just be water, it tried to send what I had swallowed back up. I covered my mouth, forcing it to stay down, crawling forward weakly toward the wastebasket in case I couldn't. I stayed in that position, one shaking arm supporting me, the other covering my mouth tightly for about a minute. Carlisle had set the cup to the side, kneeling beside me in case my arm gave out.

My belly hung down below me, and it was hurting a bit, so I sat back on my feet. I had to breathe finally, and I took a slow breath in.

"Come on." I mumbled behind my hand, "It's what you want."

I took deep breaths with my eyes closed once more. I waited for a minute, waiting for my stomach to stop trying to reject the blood. I took a deep breath in and held it. Those watching me probably didn't dare to breath. No one moved, waiting for me to be okay with it.

The baby was confused, not liking the blood at all.

"It's that or food." I said louder, more firmer, "One or the other. Those are your choices."

To my surprise, the nausea didn't stop. Not liking the command in my voice, the baby moved, and I had to struggle harder to keep from giving the blood back. It was becoming quickly apparent that this wasn't working, but I tried. I tried hard, but it was like a war in my stomach.

A particularly hard kick straight to my stomach made keeping it impossible, and thankfully I didn't have to dive for the wastebasket. Edward was there, holding it for me as soon as I couldn't keep it anymore.

The entire time I was throwing up, I was confused. It had worked for Bella. Why wasn't it working for me? Just the taste of it still in my mouth sent more up, and even when I had none left, I continued to try.

There was nothing but red liquid in the wastebasket now, and I cried in pain now. It hurt to have no options left.

"We have to try some food again." Esme murmured nervously, "That wasn't supposed to happen."

What was I supposed to do when the baby didn't accept either? What else could he want? I hadn't even considered this as a possibility. Nobody had, and I knew everyone had expected the blood to be accepted without any questions. After all, it had worked with Bella. Why not with me?

Luckily for me, and to my very intense relief, the attempt at food I'd tried was greatly accepted.

It hit my painfully empty stomach, and that's where it stayed. I was only allowed a little bit at a time, but I couldn't help drinking enough water to drown a fish. Over the course of the following six hours, I found that by giving the baby those two choices, he chose food. He stopped being a little snot, and let me keep it.

We learned that he was different from Ness in the fact that he chose human food over blood. Not knowing his choices, it was clear that he was confused before. Torn between his human half, and his vampire half. Now that he knew he disliked blood, for whatever reason, he stopped rejecting food. That would have also explained why I was able to get so far along without having to try drinking blood.

In an interesting turn of events, the baby had had an, 'Oh, okay. I get it now.' moment.

Night fell, and the house quieted.

With night falling, a storm had come in. Pouring rain outside was nearly inaudible, even in the silence of the room.

I sat on the couch now, trying to recover what strength I could while I could. This was, by far, the hardest thing I'd ever done. I was snoozing, not quite laying down, but not sitting up either. My arm over my eyes, struggling to breathe. This lack of space was beginning to get tiresome. He was growing so quickly, I had a strong feeling nobody would want to wait much longer than two days or so. Especially when only him rolling over caused me pain.

I had started to doubt myself before, and just because we figured out the baby's preference, that hadn't changed. I tried to correct that way of thinking, knowing now wasn't the time to doubt myself. I was almost done, I told myself, but two days felt like forever away.

Not to mention the contradicting thoughts constantly rolling through my mind. I wasn't ready to be a mother, for however short amount of time I would get to be one, but I wanted him out.

But I'd stopped throwing up. That was a definite plus. I was able to eat again, but I'd never been so tired in my life. Never. I felt tired enough to sleep for two weeks straight. Like just laying there took my energy, and made it almost impossible to open my eyes. I wasn't getting my strength back like I would have if the baby had wanted blood instead. I stayed weak.

I understood now what Bella had gone through.

I was watched. I could clearly feel their gazes on me, and the things they didn't say. I listened, almost feeling my heart beat. Each time, pushing me forward. It was a very intense, but calm moment, and I appreciated the silence. Overhead, a soft rumble of thunder wasn't even enough to make me move.

Beside me, across the room, the fire crackled quietly. Warming the room, as I laid there. Remembering as I snoozed. The first time I'd ever set foot in the house. The instant way it felt like home. As sad as the memories made me, as I looked back on them, I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back and do it all again. My time with them was coming to an end, and I wasn't done.

It felt, to me, like I'd lived an entire lifetime in this room. In this house. This house had seen so many important moments of my life, and shielded me through more than just the rain. It was the one place I could run, the one safe haven I've ever known. Even when the family wasn't here, it was. Providing me shelter, and comfort when they couldn't.

It seemed only fitting that I lay here now, so long from the moments in my memories, resting in the quiet of the house. The baby in my stomach moving now and then with each particularly loud rumble of thunder.

Each rumble of thunder, however, reminding me deeply of the night my mother died. If she could only see me now, I thought. The night she died protecting me, and the night I finally ran back to the house to see it lit. How desperate I was that night, how small and how very helpless I felt as I came to a running stop outside in the rain. Looking up at the porch, scared and shivering, soaked to the skin.

The shelter I found here wouldn't have meant near as much if Carlisle hadn't lifted me that night, letting me know that he was here for me. How much I needed him hadn't faded. My eyes teared up now with remembering the desperation in my cries that night. Having just witnessed my mother's death, and how scared I was. Hardly a ten-year-old, only six years ago now, I saw now what that meant. How much my family meant to me, how much I needed them. Mainly Carlisle and Esme. My parents.

It was only fitting that Carlisle be the one I ask to take my son if the need arose.

The door opened, and Ness came in, bringing me out of my memories. I tiredly opened my eyes, watching her cross the room to Bella. Jake following her inside. Both soaked, but kept quiet as Ness whispered to Bella. Bella's eyes brightened ever-so-slightly, and she gave a soft nod to her daughter. Ness looked to me.

Closer to an adult now than a child, Ness' gaze softened. In something like sadness. I must not have been doing as well as I thought I was. I knew it wasn't horrible yet, due to the fact that the family was calm. Letting me continue on with my baby growing, instead of insisting I stop pushing it.

Ness moved to Carlisle's side now, quietly murmuring to him. Too quiet for me to hear, but for once, I didn't care. He murmured to her in reply, and I distinctly heard him thank her. She turned, leaving again with Jake.

"Leandra," Esme spoke quietly, "Would you prefer to stay here, or would you like to lay in your bed?" I looked up at her, watching as she smiled sadly at me.

"Here." I answered sleepily, "Please." I was as comfortable as I was going to get, and moving just wasn't an option. Even if I was carried, I'd still need to search for a comfortable position again. Something I wasn't up to doing.

"Okay." She allowed, smoothing my hair back. Besides that, I was starting to feel warm again. I was worried that if I moved, I'd get cold again. I sighed, closing my eyes again. The quiet in the room returned, aside from the sound of the rain outside and the fire crackling in the fireplace.

Falling asleep there, I woke next to soft whispering beside the couch.

Sometime, while I'd slept, Tanya had gotten there. The whispering earlier made sense now. Carlisle stood talking to her, probably filling her in on the situation. I had been given another blanket, and I appreciated it.

I took as deep a breath as I could, looking up at the two of them. I vaguely noted that the room was nearly empty now. Aside from the two of them, everyone else was gone. It was darker, much darker now, so I knew it was late at night. I had to have slept nearly another six hours. Noticing I was awake, Tanya smiled a little down at me.

"Hi, Leandra." She greeted quietly, gaining Carlisle's attention as well, "How are you feeling?"

"I've had better days." I replied weakly, letting my eyes close again briefly.

"I hear." She replied, "I'm sorry to have woken you."

"No." I mumbled, "It wasn't you. He's moving." My hand weakly found my stomach, rubbing lazy circles over it. Yawning, I opened my eyes again.

"That, and I'm a little warm." I pushed the blankets off of me, managing to kick them toward the other end of the couch.

The rain had picked up outside the open door, pouring heavily to the earth. I half wondered where the others were, but I was too tired to really care. I knew I appreciated the fresh air, though. Whoever's idea it was, I had to thank them.

Carlisle took my pulse, and probably checked my temperature as well, knowing how quickly things could change from okay, to dire in just a moment. Apparently, I was fine, because he just laid my hand back onto the couch, and stood up.

Morning came, and I was asked to eat something. I did so, hoping to get at least a little bit of my energy back. To no avail. I stayed just as weak as I was before. Perhaps even more tired, thanks to having to sit up to eat.

The room became populated again as I laid back down. Laying as still as I could, I couldn't help but notice just how still the baby had gotten in the last few hours. Slightly concerned, I asked Carlisle about it.

"He's alright, Leandra." Edward answered for him, "He's just as tired as you are. He's just resting." I nodded, appreciating his input more than he knew, "Your heartbeat soothes him."

Carlisle managed to examine me without me having to move too much this time. The most I had to move was to sit up, pushing myself upright with my arms, I winced as the movement made the baby have to adjust himself as well.

I watched as concern crossed Carlisle's features, and he measured a second time. This time with my shirt over my bruised stomach. I was too exhausted to be embarrassed, at everyone watching it this time.

He looked up after the second measurement, and he gave me the news. I was roughly thirty-one weeks. Over night, I'd gained three weeks. The baby's growth had sped up, which would probably explain why we were so tired.

The blood he'd managed to get must have helped him along more than we thought it would.

Carlisle wasn't taking any more chances. I had managed to get this far without anything broken, and the longer we waited, those odds lowered drastically with each passing minute.

"It's going to have to be today." Carlisle finally looked to the others in the room, "Alice, Jasper. Please have Jake and his pack stay close. We need all the protection we can get."

Jasper gave a nod, and they both turned. Leaving the house.

"Emmett, go with them." Carlisle instructed, "Protect the outside of the house."

"I'll go with him." Eleazar offered, surprising me, "Best of luck, Leandra." I watched after him and Emmett. Edward kissed Bella, and she turned. Following the guys outside.

I was more focused on the first part of what Carlisle had said, though. My heart beating at a frantic pace, I realized what he was saying. This was it. In almost two and a half weeks, I'd managed to support a half-vampire baby to birth.

I didn't know how I felt about it. Of course, I was excited to finally meet my son, but I was also scared beyond words. It was one thing to feel him moving, but to see him...

What would he look like? More like me? Or like Josh? I was still afraid to get too close to him, but I feared I wasn't going to have a choice in the matter. I was scared beyond words, and I knew I just had to be brave for just a little longer. Thinking about what would have to be done, I shivered, unconsciously hugging my stomach gently.

I shook my head. I couldn't think about it.

My hand rubbed my belly, thinking about the fact that I would see the little creature inside today. I was feeling overwhelmed and scared, and tears started down my face. My emotions were all over the place, and I had no way of calming them.

I watched as Mikah moved from his place across the room, to kneel beside the couch with me. Edward and Carlisle stood off to the side, talking quietly but urgently. Rose and Esme doing the same beside the couch.

I let my fear be shown as Mikah took my hand. My tears started harder, and Mikah's eyes grew concerned.

"I don't know if I can do this." I told him, pausing for a soft sob, "I don't know if I'm strong enough.."

"Everything is going to be okay." He told me quietly, "Trust me, you're strong enough. You can do this, I know you can." He paused, holding my hand tighter, "You're the strongest person I've ever met."

"Mikah.." I shook my head and looked down.

"Don't doubt yourself." His hand gently tilted my face up to look in my eyes, "When you hold that baby in your arms, that's where he'll stay. He belongs with you, not some.. Tyrannical lunatic." He shook his head, "And I'll do everything in my power to keep it that way." And I believed him. He glanced back toward the door, "I'm going to go keep watch outside with the others. I know you can do this, princess. It'll be easy for you." I watched him leave, giving my hand one last encouraging squeeze before he did so.

So...

I would be a mother today. I didn't know if I'd like that. Not like I had a choice, though. It's not like you can put a half vampire child up for adoption. I patted my stomach as my heart took off at a shattering sprint.

Was I ready for something this huge? An urgency had changed the mood around me from one of calm tension, to almost frantic. Reflecting easily how I felt.

I hadn't realized how long I was in my thoughts, so naturally Carlisle's voice made me jump.

"Leandra?" I looked up at him, "It's time." He bent long enough to lift me gently from the couch. Knowing full well I was still too weak to walk. Esme and Rosalie led the way upstairs, and I quickly found out why. Carlisle set me easily onto a table set up in his office. When had this been set up? I really couldn't remember.

I was helped out of my clothes into a papery hospital gown. Just so I didn't get my clothes bloody, probably. I trembled as I pulled it on with Esme's help.

"I thought I still had a day." I admitted shakily, looking to Esme, "I still don't know if I'm ready for this."

"Honey, there's nobody better." She replied softly, smiling, "You don't need me to tell you this. Everything will be fine. Trust Carlisle. He knows what he's doing, and he won't let you down." I let out a little sob, still trembling. I took a deep calming breath, and nodded.

I was ready too soon, and both Esme and Rose left the room. I knew they wouldn't go far, though. Edward and Carlisle rejoined me in the room, and I watched them approach.

"I'll be honest with you." Carlisle started quietly, "I'd strongly prefer if you were asleep through this."

"Is it needed?" I asked, worried.

"Not necessarily," He said, "But it would help keep you still, and it would lower the risk of possibly scaring you. It's not going to be pretty." I had to think about it for a moment, looking down. Given the way he explained it before, the only thing possibly strong enough to actually get in and take the baby out was his teeth.

"That," He continued, "And it would eliminate the need for an epidural. If I can get away with not using that on you, I'd like to. Your heart is beating strong enough that I'm not concerned about it, and it really is the safest way."

I eventually nodded.

"Okay." I murmured, agreeing. He gave me a nod, and got to work preparing an IV. While he was doing that, Edward helped me lay down. I watched closely as Carlisle swabbed my arm, flinching slightly at how cold the alcohol pad felt against my skin. Looking up at him as he concentrated on getting the thin needle into my vein.

How strange this was for me.

My sobs started again, I couldn't keep them back. It hit me then, that this was really happening. When I woke up, I wasn't going to be pregnant anymore, and I had a feeling once I saw him, everything would change. My life would never be the same. Whether in a good way, or a bad way, this was happening. I had no choice but to walk head-on into it. It wouldn't wait until I was ready, it wouldn't wait until I was prepared. I couldn't stall, and I couldn't put it off. This was one of those things that didn't care if you had it together. It was happening. I had no choice but to move forward.

"Carlisle?" I asked, and he met my gaze, "Can you do me a huge favor?"

"Anything." He replied, allowing the liquid to flow into my blood.

"If Aro shows up," I mumbled, already feeling the effects of it, "Can you tell him I'm more hurt than I am?" Given the way his expression softened, I knew he remembered. He remembered the first time I'd ever asked him that question. Completely different scenarios, but still so much the same.

Moments after I'd first met him, I'd asked him that question. Something that felt like so long ago, but not near enough time for my taste, I'd asked him to shield me. To protect me from someone who waited for me, and he came through back then. I knew, if given the chance, he'd come through for me again. As much as he could.

My tears stopped, and I was suddenly too tired to keep my eyes open.

If I dreamed, I didn't remember. Tugging sensations, pulling. Jumping, but I couldn't tell if that had been a dream or not. It was the weirdest feeling, being on the brink of deeply asleep and unconscious. Almost like I wasn't in my own body anymore. Drifting, it felt like I was floating. I felt nothing. No pain, or anything.

After enough time, I opened my eyes, trying to recognize something. Anything about where I was. It took me a several moments, but I finally did. I knew where I was now.

I was in my bedroom. Resting, previously sleeping, on my back. In my own bed. I hurt, very vividly, but the slight headache and my desperately dry mouth made it harder for me to want to wake up. Until I realized.

I could see the two lumps under the blanket where my feet were. There wasn't a mountain of my stomach in the way. I moved slowly, realizing that at some point, someone had gotten me dressed again. Not in the clothes I wore before, but the softest, warmest set of pajamas I had.

I looked up, slightly dizzily as the door opened, and three came in. Esme, Carlisle and Mikah. All of them wore comforting smiles, which made me feel a whole lot better. In Mikah's arms was a small bundle of light, pastel blue blanket. Mikah stood back, letting Esme help me to sit up gently.

"How are you feeling, honey?" She asked me, and I sighed, trying to make my voice work, "Would you like some water?" I nodded immediately, and she smiled. Reaching to the bedside table, she lifted a glass there, helping me take a few large sips. Water greatly appealed to me, so I knew I was still human. For the weirdest reasons, that surprised me.

The water soothed my throat a great deal, and helped me wake up a little more. Despite the pain I was in, it was a major relief to me.

Carlisle stepped forward next, taking my pulse and probably blood pressure as well, as Esme settled on the bed beside me. Outside, thunder rumbled, and I knew the storm from the other night had hung around.

"It went very well, Leandra." Carlisle assured me, "It was a great success." I couldn't help smiling a little at that.

"How is he?" I finally managed to speak.

Before he could answer me, however, my attention was taken by a quiet noise off to the side. Coming from the bundle in Mikah's arm. It sounded like a very tired cry, and I just the sound of it stole my breath.

"He knows her voice." Mikah smiled down at the bundle, the amazement clear in his eyes. Adoration and the purest form of awe, and I was jealous.

Esme waved him over, and he started closer to the bed. A smile on his face the entire way, I had to admit. I was scared. So afraid of the blue bundle in his arm. Gently, he lowered the bundle into Esme's arms, and she turned. Offering the bundle to me.

Wearing blue and white clothing, wrapped tightly in a soft, fleece blanket, was my baby.

When I saw him, everything suddenly fell into place. I was instantly wrapped up in his tiny hands and I knew I'd never be let go.

It took my breath away to look into the face of my child.

The change in his demeanor was immediate as the baby's eyes met mine, the exact same color as Josh's were as a human. Crystal clear, ice blue. He was smaller than a full term baby, but he looked healthy.

I suddenly met the end of me, and giving me someone else to be. I lost who I was, and I couldn't understand, but it seemed only natural. Hearing his small cry broke my heart, and healed it at the very same time. Making everything else suddenly shift places, moving into second place. My baby was now in first place. Above all, he mattered most to me.

I would die for him. I would live, breathe, die for him to know no pain, to know only love and safety. I would do everything in my power to make him happy. He was _everything_ to me in the very second I heard his first cry, and it solidified the second I looked into his eyes. His face, his expressions.

I reached out for him, and he seemed to smile.

As soon as I felt his weight in my arms, Esme's hands moving away, I started to cry once more. I just felt like I shattered, I loved him so entirely, so fully, that nothing could be done. Nothing could prevent this, I was helpless to fight this emotion. I cradled him closely, looking down at him just as he looked up at me.

I felt more tears fall, and continued to smile. Staring into the face of my baby, I felt an unusual amount of happiness. Like I would explode from the amount of it. Was this how all new mothers felt?

I suddenly wished I could ask my mother about it.

I cried even more, the feeling so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, I couldn't help it. All the bruises, the throwing up, the trouble I had with him was something I no longer remembered. Holding him was something that could erase all of that, with just one look. Just holding him in my arms was enough to erase all of that like it never even happened.

His soft brown hair sat in slightly curled whisps on his head. I didn't see much of me in his features, as his hair matched Josh's as well, but I did notice that he had my nose. On him, it was a tiny little button I couldn't help but touch softly with my finger. Laughing through my tears as he blinked, and smiled when I did that.

Rosy cheeks and a small, hardly noticeable dimple in his chin. Carlisle was right. He seemed to be doing fine on his own. He was even a little heavy for my arms to hold.

Tears spilled down my cheeks at the amount of happiness I was feeling. I sobbed, but I was happy. I looked into the face of everything I was so scared of, lifetime commitment. Everything that would change my life forever, whether I was ready or not. The face of my everything.

All that mattered to me now was that he was there, he was in my arms and suddenly all that mattered to me was his happiness. The contentment I was feeling, as I held my baby in my arms was difficult to describe. It just felt so right that he be here now. I'd known 16, almost 17, would be a difficult age, but this was more than I ever imagined. It seemed as if the missing piece of me had finally been filled, clicked almost painfully into place.

I lifted my other hand and gently rubbed his cheek with my finger. His skin was softer than anything I'd ever felt before. Though my finger was in such close proximity to his mouth, he never tried to bite me. He just smiled wider.

I struggled to contain my emotions. The happiness only seemed to get stronger the longer I looked into his eyes. He was real, and he was here. He had the most beautiful face I'd ever seen.

"Hi, baby." I said quietly to him, smiling, "See? I've got more to me than a warm place to live."

Of course he wouldn't reply. I took his hand in my fingers softly, my thumb softly moving over the back of his tiny hand, and it felt right. My baby, my son was in my arms, and I'd never let go. Even if I couldn't be with him, to hold him and love him, I'd never let go.

"I promise you." I whispered to him, "That no matter what happens, I'll protect you with my life. You'll always be safe, always loved. I know I'm not the right person to ask what it's like to be comfortable, but I'll always love you. I hope you can always find some comfort in that."

It was amazing to me. I finally managed to look away, looking to Esme beside me. Her soft, comforting smile told me I'd done an astonishing thing. I'd gotten pregnant, by a vampire nonetheless, and survived it human. It wasn't easy, and I'd never voluntarily do it again, but I did it.

All the pain, the fear, and the emotions suddenly moot, I looked back down at the reason it all happened. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. Holding him gave me the best feeling in the world. One I had no way of ever comparing anything to.

Unable to help myself, I leaned against Esme. Taking the hint, she hugged me into her side. The baby yawned in my arms, probably having been woken up to see me.

I never knew this much love was possible.

**A/N: Happy birthday, baby!  
Omg such an emotional chapter, but still not quite as emotional as chapter two was. It was difficult to put this together, though. Long, painful personal story there.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed the last chapter! You're all amazing. You truly are.  
I apologize if this chapter seems jumpy. It's two-thirty (as I type this A/N) and it's way passed my bedtime lol  
I hope you enjoyed this bit of roller-coastery madness, and chapter eight should be along sometime within the next couple of days. :)  
Until eight, my beautiful readers.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I reluctantly let him go just a short while later so I could get up, and move around carefully. Trying to shake off the unconsciousness, but the pain was intense. There was no way I could stand on my own just yet.

Carlisle's supporting hand in mine, I stayed standing. Unable to help remembering when I had to do this as a ten year old. Just gotten back from Tacoma, he had to help me shake off the unconsciousness then too. This unconsciousness was a lot easier to get passed than that one, though.

Mikah stood near by, probably just wanting to be there.

"What do the others think?" I had to ask, looking to Carlisle as he helped me stay upright.

"There is literally no chance that he's unwelcome." He replied, and I smiled tiredly, "I can't tell you how often the argument over whose turn it is to hold him has nearly gotten physical."

"Wow." I muttered, surprised.

"In those cases," Esme spoke up, glancing up from the bundle in her arm, "I just take him." I laughed a little at that, putting more weight on my legs.

"Think I can go out there for a little while?" I asked, "I'm not ready to go back to sleep yet."

"As long as you're stationary." Carlisle agreed quietly, and I nodded. Allowing him to lift me, I looked to him, "Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

"You have some heavy bruising, especially after the c-section." He explained, "That'll take a few days to heal. On top of that, you'll need at least two days before the pressure you feel will go down." He meant in my lower stomach. I knew that, because I felt it. I felt the pressure, and that had to be from the baby being taken out. He said it had gone well, though. So I wasn't worried anymore.

He carried me from the room, and I blinked tiredly in the evening light in the room.

"Hell yeah, shorty." I laughed, shaking my head at Emmett's call once we entered the room, "Bouncing right back."

"If you've noticed, I can't really walk yet." I reminded him, and he waved it off.

"You'll be walking in no time." He told me, confident.

"My turn to hold him." Alice came forward, grinning.

"Uh-uh." I said, "It's still my turn. I get dibs, because I made him."

Carlisle gently placed me sitting upright on the couch. I winced, but was otherwise alright. I still felt weak, but I knew now I could effectively begin to get my energy back. The reason for my weakness was still being held by Esme as I shifted to get more comfortable.

"Now how are you feeling?" Tanya asked, smiling.

"I'm starting to feel better." I admitted, "Still really tired, but I know that'll pass." I smiled, looking to Esme now. Eager to hold my son again, "He helps."

Alice parked herself on the armrest beside me, and the empty space to my other side was taken immediately by Renesmee. Esme carefully handed the bundle back to me, and my wide smile was immediate. I loved him so much, there was no way possible for me not to smile.

"Hi, trouble." I murmured to him, "It's nice to finally see you."

He squirmed a little in my arm, but was otherwise still. His blue eyes looking up at me tiredly.

"Fitting name, Leandra." Jasper chuckled from the side.

"Just a nickname." I commented, glancing up at Jasper, "I can't tell you how incredibly grateful I am that I didn't have to carry him the full nine months. He's moved since I knew he was in there, and after awhile, that was starting to really hurt." I had to look back down at the sound the baby made. It sounded like a very pleased, cooing laugh.

He smiled, gripping my fingers as I took his hand.

"Oh, is that funny?" I laughed a little as well, "You like beating me up?" His little baby grin stayed, "You don't know how much that worries me, little man. Let me be the first to tell you that you'll never meet your dad's side of the family."

"Can't blame you there, shorty." Emmett pointed out.

"What are you going to name him?" Ness asked curiously, and I looked to her. I felt all the curious gazes on me, and I knew I had to look like hell, which embarrassed me a little, but I found I didn't care so much. Everybody was inside now.

Tanya and her group stood throughout the room, probably just as attached to the baby as everyone else was. Jake and Seth by the door, Sam nearest it. I hadn't had much interaction with Sam before, but he was here. He didn't seem upset with me, giving me a slight smile and a nod.

"I don't know." I admitted, "I haven't really considered names. I didn't have all the time in the world to focus on it. And even if I had, I don't think I would have come up with anything that would fit him."

"He's so tiny." Ness cooed, enchanted by him.

"I remember you when you were this small." I reminded her, and she looked up.

"I know." She laughed a little, "I tried to bite you."

"You did, but he hasn't yet." I mumbled, a little confused. I looked back down at him, as if the answer would be written somewhere on him. Then I recalled. He didn't appreciate blood.

His eyes closed, and I knew he was just about to fall asleep. As I sat there, admiring him in every single possible way, there was one thing I really didn't want to focus on, but it was hard not to. My mood dropped drastically, at just the thought of it.

"Aro." I mumbled, looking up at Carlisle. My expression had to be heartbreakingly torn, because his eyes softened.

"We'll do what we have to do, Leandra." He assured me, "Don't worry."

"I can't lose him." I murmured, looking back down. My heart broke at just the thought. I knew I might have to leave him, however. If only to keep him safe. Carlisle had promised me. He'd promised to take the baby if he had to.

"Don't worry about a thing, shorty." Emmett told me quietly, "You've got all of us on your side." I looked up, around the room. Seeing my family's gazes in return. The numbers just in the room alone were comforting. I knew the packs were around as well, and knowing they were here for me helped even more.

The baby squirmed a little, bringing my attention back down to him.

"That's where he stays." Mikah murmured from beside the couch, "I promise you. I'd give my life before I see the two of you seperated. I promised to protect you from day one, princess. That's what I'm going to do, and that includes him now too."

"You already know our answer." Jasper commented across from me, "And not only because I feel the way you feel, but because it's something you deserve."

"And you know wherever the family goes, we'll be there." Tanya assured me.

"As well as us." Jake spoke with a slow nod, "And Sam's been itching for another chance at the Volturi."

"Thank you." I mumbled quietly, "But I can never ask that of you. All I'd want is for him to be safe. That's my only request. I don't care what happens to me, as long as I know he's taken care of."

"Just focus on healing now, Leandra." Alice smiled my way from her place on the armrest, "You did a very amazing thing today." As skeptical as I felt, I couldn't deny the baby in my arms was amazing. Just to look at him was enough to steal my breath just for a moment. Better than anything I'd ever felt before.

"I didn't do a thing." I had to admit, "It was all Carlisle."

"Leandra," Jasper chuckled, "You do realize, that with every single hybrid baby birth known in existence, not one of the mothers have survived it human, right?"

That surprised me, "Oh?"

"Today, you proved that it is possible." He continued, "It's possible, if they have the right care."

"And if the baby learns not to break my ribs." I had to add, "That's the real reason it went so well, huh?" I asked, looking back down at him. I continued to hold his hand, amazed at how small he was. He had to weigh about five or six pounds.

"Six pounds, four ounces." Edward replied, "Perfectly healthy, so don't worry about that. His heart is good and strong, breathing great. You've got nothing to worry about. We just need to keep him warm, and keep his temperature up until he can regulate it more effectively on his own. That's all." I appreciated being told all of this. To know he was doing great eased a worry I didn't realize I had. His hand curled around my finger as he fell asleep was the most amazing thing to me right then.

"I need name ideas." I finally said, choosing not to focus on the more pressing issues right then. It was hard to come up with a fitting name right off the bat like that.

"Well, you know the story behind Ness' name." Bella pointed out, "Is that something you'd want?"

"I don't really know." I murmured, "My father was never really around enough to want to name my son after him. And another Carlisle just wouldn't be right." I smiled a little at him, "One's perfect."

"It could be something like how I was named." Mikah spoke up, "It doesn't have to just be two names thrown together. Just change the spelling."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Well, normally my name is spelled with a 'C', but my parents decided to spell it with a 'K', after my mom's sister." He explained.

"Creative." I smiled, nodding.

"They were pretty creative, yeah." He nodded, "At least when it came to the older kids."

"I want him to have his own name." I said, smiling at the way he gripped my finger. His tiny hand couldn't even make it all the way around. Though he hardly tried. He snoozed for the most part, giving a soft sigh, "And it has to fit him, so just start listing off names." This was fun.

I tried to tell them one at a time, because so many names were being thrown at me at once. I laughed, shaking my head a little. In the end, it was Mikah who gave me the one I liked the most.

"You." I said, looking to Mikah, "What was that one?"

"Isaiah." He replied, smiling a little, "It was a popular name back then, and that was my best friend's name."

"Was he a good guy?" I had to ask. I didn't want to name him after someone who was less than worthy.

"Very." He answered, "You'd have gotten along well with him."

"And you." I looked to Emmett, "What was yours?"

"Levi." He answered, "I've always liked that name."

"Anyone you know of have that name?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No, but it would have been my first choice for any son of mine." That was a strong enough answer. The fact that he'd give it to me settled it.

"What do you think?" I asked, looking down at the baby still snuggled in my arms, "Isaiah Levi." I glanced up, "Cullen, of course. If that's okay?" Esme's constant smile brightened, and Carlisle's softened.

"Of course." Carlisle answered me, nodding. I smiled and nodded as well, looking back down at the baby. My hand gently smoothing his soft dark brown hair back. He looked like a little doll, peacefully sleeping in my arms.

"Then that settles it." I murmured, gently kissing the back of his hand, "He has a name now."

I had to hand him over not long later, because I really needed to sleep, but I had to admit. The sight of Esme's smile as she gratefully lifted him from me made it easier to release him. I knew she really was in her element.

Carlisle, again, was the one to lift me from the couch. I didn't mind it so much. Too worn out, even if I hadn't done anything.

The days passed too fast after that. Instead of crawling by in pain and discomfort, I never noticed before how much time I wasted away by sleeping. There wasn't enough time in the day to spend with my son.

I loved him so completely, there was nothing better to me than holding him.

Each new thing he did, and every old thing he did, made me love him even more. It was as if he knew when I was sleeping, and saved his firsts for me. Each day, he grew a little bigger, but no matter how big he got, I would always volunteer to hold him. He continued growing at the rate he had been, though.

Four days passed too fast, and he already looked about a month old. His giggles made it easy to forget just how quickly time was passing. Every waking moment was spent holding him, playing with him, or watching him sleep. Watching him in whoever else's arms, and it never failed to amuse me to see Emmett holding him. Isaiah was the size of a football in his hands, but he always handled him carefully. I never had to worry when it came to Emmett.

He strongly preferred normal baby formula, which surprised no one. He knew what he wanted, and it wasn't blood. We'd tried giving him some blood a few days after he was born, but he turned it down before he'd even tasted it. Managing to take the bottle from Rosalie and threw it across the room.

"That's a no." I translated, laughing.

"Finally." Emmett chuckled, "That kid's on my team when he's older." Meaning, for baseball.

Said bottle had hit a lamp and broken it, but nobody minded too much. Isaiah was pissed, though. Wanting nothing to do with Rosalie until she offered him his usual bottle. Even then, he glared at her as he ate.

I'd been worried that taking him out prematurely was going to hurt his growth, but he caught right up, if not surpassed normal babies his age.

He was okay with Carlisle's exams, and loved Esme almost as much as he loved me. He just tolerated everyone else, but when I was awake, he never tolerated them for long. He always chose my arms to fall asleep in when he could help it. Carlisle guessed it had something to do with hearing my heartbeat. It comforted babies, especially newborns, but I suspected it was more than that.

When I had to take a break, to eat or shower, he only tolerated them long enough for me to get one of those things done at a time until he began to cry. I had to at least make an appearance before he would calm down. Edward wasn't lying when he said his breathing was fine. That kid could yell, and there was no way I couldn't react to it. I had to find him whenever I heard just a hint of a whimper.

I'd only been walking on my own again for a day now, and I still had to be careful. I couldn't move too quickly, or lift anything heavier than Isaiah. Which was pretty specific, as he only weighed ten pounds now. I followed the rules, though. Not wanting to risk anything.

I couldn't stretch, or bend down. Bathing was tricky, but I managed to get it done. There were enough people willing to keep Isaiah occupied long enough for me to get my needs met as well.

We reluctantly fell into a routine. Hesitant, waiting for the day when all of that would fall to pieces.

His noises were the best thing to me, and I loved to hear them. Even his pissed off squalling. To hear the way his cries progressed as he grew older, it amazed me. Every day, he sounded a little different.

Four days after his birth, and I already knew his cries. He never cried with me unless he was hungry, so I knew that one right off the bat. The other cry I learned quickly, was when his patience had met its end, and he wanted me.

Usually, he got pissed off most when Emmett was picking on him, but other than me, Isaiah 'talked' to Emmett most. He obviously wanted him to have a piece of his mind. He just couldn't form words yet.

The morning of day five, I was attempting to eat breakfast. Rose was in the other room, holding him, but he was especially cranky that morning. Ever since Carlisle had weighed him, he'd had no tolerance for anyone but me.

"Such a short fuse, my boy." I murmured to him, looking over at him in Rosalie's arms, "I'm right here." His cries stopped, but he whimpered, his eyes on me, "I know, but I promise you're just fine." He huffed, kicking a little. My hand smoothed his soft brown hair back, and I laughed a little.

"I wonder where he gets his impatience from." Rose mused and I laughed again.

"No clue." I replied, returning to the kitchen to finish breakfast. To my surprise, however, he continued to cry. Deeply upset this time by not seeing me. I turned right back around, ready to return to his side, but Esme insisted I finish eating first.

Something had him really bugged. His cries continued to break my heart, and I rushed through eating. I hated not being able to go straight to him when he cried like that. I watched as Edward and Carlisle returned from their small trip to the hospital, striding back in through the door.

Edward's frown caught my attention as much as Isaiah's cries had.

"What's wrong?" I had to ask, standing immediately.

"He's convinced you're gone." Edward told me, and I followed him quickly into the living room. Abandoning my breakfast, the thought of eating so far from my mind right then.

"My boy." I murmured, striding quickly to Rosalie, "No, I'm right here." Despite his eyes on me, he continued to wail. I offered to take him, and she handed him over easily. I cradled him close to me, sitting carefully on the couch and looking down at him.

His cries only changed pitch. Changing from one of frustration, to one of despair. I didn't know how that was possible in a baby, but I recognized it immediately. Normally, he quieted down almost instantly the moment I held him, but now they only got more intense. Harsher.

"Shh," I whispered to him, "You're alright, Isaiah. You're okay."

"He's scared." Jasper answered my confusion. I bounced him gently, hoping that would ease him. It worked a little, but the second I stopped, it began again. What had my baby so scared?

"I'm not going anywhere." I told him, and immediately, I knew that had to be a lie. I had the strongest feeling that I'd just lied to him. I looked him over. He wasn't hurt anywhere, but he was acting like he was.

What was he trying to say? I looked up at Carlisle, fear in my expression.

Before I could ask, we all looked up at the side door opening, Jake stepping in quickly.

"It's Aro." That was all he needed to say, and I stood up, "He got through the packs, and is coming this way." How had I not seen this coming? Not even a glimpse. Not a hint of worry. No way to even anticipate this change.

I held Isaiah close as Esme stepped forward, taking my arm in her hand.

"No." I said, and she paused, "Take him. I want to be there when he gets-" I looked outside, spotting Aro immediately. I glared, before looking to Esme, "Take him." I let her lift the baby from me, and strode toward the door. Followed closely by multiple others.

"You can't have him, Aro." I called from the porch, "You could have had me, if you'd agreed to let him stay in the first place-"

"I'm still set on you, Leandra." He replied simply, "And the infant." I watched multiple more members follow him from the trees, swallowing in nervousness. I recognized them. His strongest gifted members, and they weren't playing around. I glanced to Bella, and she glanced to me.

I had to try, however.

"Aro, please reconsider." I finally plead, "Let him stay. That's all I ask. I'll go with you. I'll leave here, right now if you just let him stay here." I paused, watching him wait, "H-He cries. All the time right now. He eats normal baby formula. He doesn't like blood. It wouldn't be easy having him there." I watched him sigh, debating. Josh stepped from the trees last, smiling a little at me.

"Aro, I beg you." I murmured, "I'm begging you. Let him stay here."

"Let me at least see this infant." Aro finally said, and I hesitated, looking to Carlisle, "I know he's here. I hear his cries inside."

I looked back, before sighing. If there was any way for him to be lenient on this one thing, it was to let him see Isaiah. I hated, loathed the thought of my baby anywhere near Aro, but I had no choice. I was torn. I spluttered for a moment, trying to think of any way out of this, but there wasn't any.

"I'm waiting." Aro called after a few minutes.

I turned, heading back inside. I found Esme upstairs, trying to calm him down. Nothing was working, but I didn't blame Esme. I suspected nothing would. Not until Aro left.

I lifted Isaiah from her gently, and he still continued to cry. She followed me back outside, onto the porch with the baby cradled securely in my arms. I fixed his shirt, hoping to keep him warm. He had no problems regulating his own body heat anymore, but I didn't want to take the risk. His cries quieted briefly to whimpers, little half-cries. I glanced down to Isaiah, rubbing his cheek with my finger, managing to quiet him a bit more.

Josh's eyes landed on the baby, as did Aro's.

"There." I said, "You see him. Now can we go?"

"I wish to hold him." Aro disagreed, stepping forward slowly, "Just once." My heart raced as I held Isaiah tighter. Sensing my discomfort, he started to cry yet again.

"I'm really not comfortable with that." I replied, "He was only born four days ago."

"Just for one moment." He assured me, smiling. I whimpered, looking up at Carlisle again. I didn't like this. Not at all. I could clearly see the tension in his eyes, and I knew he didn't trust Aro either.

"If you'd prefer," Aro said, "I can step inside to do so." That helped. Significantly. I knew if he were inside, there was no way he would leave with my baby.

"That would help." I admitted quietly, and he nodded.

"Leandra," He gave me a knowing smile, "You should know by now. I can never fool you for very long." I glanced to Carlisle again, really not sure about that.

I watched him, Josh, and his two strongest guard members step up to the porch, Aro's gaze intently on Isaiah as he stepped passed me. I held him tighter, and he whimpered in discomfort. I glared heatedly at Josh as he passed me.

Emmett followed him first, and I was ushered behind Emmett. Emmett stayed by the door, Jasper beside him, their eyes intently on Aro.

Josh came to stand directly beside me, smiling down at Isaiah. I wanted to punch him, but I didn't. I hated the way I didn't. There was no mistaking who had fathered Isaiah. Josh's hand came up, softly touching Isaiah's cheek, and given the way Isaiah looked up at him, I could see he could tell immediately who Josh was to him.

"Now." Aro turned, "May I?" I gave him a hesitant look, before looking back down at Isaiah. His blue eyes met mine, and he squirmed a little. I stepped forward, hating each step forward more than the last. I literally trembled, and I looked up at him.

"Just to hold him, right?" I hated being so timid, but I really couldn't help it with my baby.

"You have my word." Aro told me, "The infant will not leave this room, and he will remain unharmed." I really couldn't tell if he was lying or not, so I looked back at Carlisle. Edward beside him. They both nodded, telling me they believed him, so I felt just a shred better about handing Isaiah to Aro.

"Just be careful with him." I murmured nervously, and Aro smiled a little, cradling him safely.

"This certainly takes a lot of trust." Aro pointed out, "I thank you, Leandra." I nodded, watching carefully. He made no sudden movements, but turned, slowly pacing away with the baby tucked in his arms. Further into the house, so I wasn't too worried about him trying anything. As it was, he was surrounded. Two covens and a werewolf all with their eyes on him and his three.

"So this is the result." He muttered to himself, "Remarkable. Hello there." To my amazement, Isaiah's noises had quieted, and he laid 'talking' a little as he gazed up at Aro. Probably curious, not having seen him before. The room was silent, watching Aro with the baby. It was weird to see, though. Someone so small and helpless laying in Aro's arms.

He held him safely the entire time, both arms supporting him. Until he changed positions, one hand supporting his head, the other his body. Holding him up to get a better look at him. Isaiah squirmed a little, unaccustomed to the position.

I watched Josh slowly cross the room to stand beside Aro, smiling at the baby in his hands. I never thought it possible, but with each passing second, I grew even more tense. I used to think I knew what that meant, but now I really understood it. Aro wasn't mishandling him. He wasn't hurting him, and as far as I could tell, he had no intentions of taking him. That was just it, though. As far as I could _tell_, he didn't.

Aro looked to Josh, before turning, and offering the baby to him. Slowly, Josh reached out and very gently lifted the baby from Aro's arms. Amazement was clear in his eyes as I watched the emotions solidify, brand themselves in his features as he cradled the small baby close to him. He laughed, smiling brightly and looking at me.

"He's beautiful." He laughed, looking as if he wanted to cry.

Apparently, he didn't know what he was getting himself into either. He didn't expect to feel this way, to look into the baby's face and see everything I saw. I was shocked for a moment, before I had to say something.

"I didn't agree to that." I finally spoke up, my voice choked as if just being hit in the stomach, "I didn't agree to Josh holding him."

"Why ever not?" Aro asked, surprised. I shut up then, realizing Aro still didn't know that I knew. Josh paid us no mind, however. His eyes on his son tucked in his arm. Aro still waited for an answer, so I had to think.

"Josh is still new." I answered quietly, "I'm afraid he's going to hurt him."

Aro, to my relief, instantly believed my lie.

"My dear, I assure you. He's quite capable of self-control." He smiled, "You of all people should know that." I didn't appreciate the smile he gave me, "Let him hold his son, and we'll discuss our options, shall we?"

I didn't argue again, watching Josh like a hawk. Despite the way I wanted so badly to tell him that Isaiah was my son. Not his. Slowly, Aro turned and paced. I waited, tense with Carlisle, Edward and Esme directly behind me. Emmett and Jasper were watching Josh. Very intently.

"You're proposing.." Aro mused, "That you'll return with me, no questions asked, if I agree to let the infant remain here with your family."

"Yes." I said instantly, "That's all I want."

"And there will be no complaints." Aro added, "No disobedience, and no outbursts."

"None." I agreed, daring to hope, "You can have me. Just leave him here." Isaiah's quiet noises told me he was beginning to lose his patience. He wanted me again.

"Okay." I mumbled after a moment of silence, "Can I have him back now?"

"You'll return with me today?" Aro asked, interested and ignoring my question, "Right this moment?" Bringing my focus back to him, Aro's question gave me even more hope. I started to plan.

"Any time you want." I told him, looking to Isaiah now, "I just need to know he's safe, so I'll need to ask one more thing. That my family continues to be off limits."

"Oh, of course." He nodded, "They've got an important job ahead of them."

"Job?" I asked hesitantly.

"To raise this infant." He told me, chuckling as if it were obvious, and that relieved me enough to sigh heavily, "I'll allow the infant to stay, if you return with me today."

"Thank you." I mumbled, sighing again. I needed to stall, to give the family time. If I could get out of here, away from the house before Aro took my hand, they could get away. It was painfully clear to me that they would probably not get another chance at this, so I had to buy them time.

Aro had agreed to leave Isaiah here, but he would turn right around on that the moment he found out what I knew now. I'd promised to protect Isaiah with my life, and I'd be doing just that when Aro found out that I fooled him. Beside me, Edward's eyes landed on me, but I didn't dare glance to him.

"I'd just like a few minutes to say goodbye." I told him, "If that's alright."

"Perfectly." He smiled, "Come, Josh. We'll be waiting outside, Leandra." Josh, distracted by running his finger over Isaiah's cheek, was stalling. Nervousness made itself known in my stomach, and I spoke up.

"Josh." I said, "You can give him back to me now."

"Just hold on." He said, chuckling, "I'll give him back to you in a second."

Obviously not wanting to wait a second, Isaiah made a noise I'd never heard him make before.

Up until that point, Isaiah had acted, and sounded like any normal human baby. Aside from his accelerated growth. He ate normally, he slept normally, and he made normal sounds. This, however, wasn't a normal sound. Isaiah growled at Josh, and just the sound of it was enough to silence the room.

I was shocked. That Isaiah would know such instincts, to growl up at Josh. He'd never been angry enough to growl before.

"That was adorable." Aro chuckled, very pleased by the sound, but it bothered me. It told me that Isaiah wasn't happy.

"Josh." I said more firmly, "He doesn't like you." He looked to me, giving me a look that told me to wait. His attention off his finger for just a second, and that's when it happened. Isaiah growled again, and suddenly, Josh was pulling his hand away with a yelp of pain. He shook his hand out, still safely cradling Isaiah.

It took me a moment to realize what had happened. I was more preoccupied with stepping forward and lifting Isaiah from Josh's arm. Given the way Isaiah cried, it was the right move.

"He bit me." Josh said over Aro's laugh, surprise in his laugh as well, "He's more like his momma than I thought." I chose to ignore that comment. Of course, Isaiah couldn't do much damage to him, but it was enough to get his point across. I pulled his lip down, to make sure he hadn't hurt himself. No damage that I could see, even as he squirmed away from my assessment. Emmett and Jasper had the smuggest looks on their faces than I'd seen in awhile. Obviously proud of their nephew.

I watched as Aro and Josh moved toward the door, still laughing at what had just happened.

"You're positive you wish for him to stay here?" Aro asked me one last time, and I heard the clear almost warning in his voice. It was odd.

"Yes." I replied, "I'll do whatever you want, as long as he can stay."

Smiling, he nodded. Turning and leaving the house with the three others he'd brought inside with him.

"Leandra." Alice sighed disappointedly the second the door was closed, "What are you doing?"

"He's hiding something." Edward growled, "Leandra, I don't like this."

"I don't like it either," I cried, suddenly in tears, "Don't you think I'd give my last breath to stay here? Don't you think it kills me to even _think_ about leaving him?" I looked down at Isaiah, sobbing quietly. Sniffling hard and smoothing his hair back, fighting emotions much stronger than myself as I whimpered, "But I don't have another choice."

I sat down as nobody said another word, looking back down at Isaiah, meeting his eyes as he squirmed a little in my lap, whimpering. My heart broke violently, tearing apart at the sight of him.

I tried to force myself to stop crying, fighting the tears harder than I ever had.

"You'll be okay here, my boy." I told him quietly, and he slowed his squirming, giving me his full attention, "You'll be safe, and you'll be loved. I won't be around, but.." I had to pause to compose myself, gently rubbing his cheek with my thumb, "The family, they'll take care of you. Trust me, there's nobody better. And try not to give them such a hard time, okay? I'll always trust them with my life, and now yours too. I just want you to always, _always_ remember how much I love you, Isaiah. Can you do that?" He made a noise up at me, kicking gently, "Yeah?" I laughed a little through my tears, "Yeah. I know you can. You're so smart. No matter where I am, remember that. Remember that I love you more than anything else in the world, and no matter how long I'm away from you, I'll be missing you more with every second that passes."

I looked up with pleading eyes, straight at Carlisle. Edward beside him, before looking back down, "And always remember how special you are now." I knew Edward would understand, and given the glance to Carlisle, he understood fully. Listening to my thoughts.

"You're a gift, Isaiah." I murmured softly, "No matter what, never believe otherwise. You're a gift." I leaned down, and pressed a kiss to his forehead, closing my eyes around more tears. I had to say more, however, before Aro caught on, "I believe in miracles now, and you're the reason why, Isaiah. I love you."

I took a very deep breath, holding it for a moment before sitting up. Smoothing his hair back one last time, I could keep talking to him.

"You be good for them, okay?" I murmured softly, "I have to go now, but I'll come back. Just as soon as I can."

I stood up, lifting him with me. I stepped over to the one closest to me, and held Isaiah up for Carlisle to take. He took the baby carefully from me, holding him securely in one arm, and my breath caught on a sob the second I pulled back. I looked up at him.

"Remember." I murmured as quietly as I could, "Days ago. You promised me." He seemed confused. Obviously not understanding why they'd still have to run with him, "While I'm gone, you'll protect him."

Edward leaned over and murmured something silently in his ear. Probably explaining in only a few short words, given the look changing in Carlisle's eyes. He understood now, that this was a death sentence. I was purposefully hiding a bit of crucial information from Aro, just to keep Isaiah from him, and he wouldn't take kindly to that. As hard as this was to accept, as weird as this was to me, I had no choice but to pretend everything was just as it always was.

"Remember." I repeated, "You promised me." It was quiet, Carlisle shaking his head a little.

"I can't make this goodbye very long." I said quietly, "Because then I won't be able to leave again." I looked to Edward, a determined yet meaningful look in my eyes.

I gave him specific instructions with that one glance. Even through the tears, and the ripping of my heart, I made myself think straight. Leaving no doubts as to what I wanted. The family couldn't stay here. They had to go into hiding anyway, but I knew they would. They'd do what they could to protect my son. Perhaps even more so now.

I did give goodbyes however. I told the entire room how grateful I was for their help.

With that, I had to leave. I left the house, closing the door behind me. Facing an entirely unknown future. Yet again. I had to be strong again. Not just for my son, but for my family. If they got a headstart, there was a very good chance they'd get away.

It was important that they got away before Aro found out what I was hiding.

The further from the house we got, I died a little more inside. Josh carried me, and I had to close my eyes, resting my head against his chest. I needed some sort of comfort.

I'd lied to myself before. Being pregnant wasn't the hardest thing I'd ever done. It wasn't learning all I could about my son, it wasn't even telling him goodbye. Actually leaving him was by far the hardest thing I'd ever done. Even knowing it was only to keep him safe.

I knew the moment was coming soon that Aro would find out what I'd done, but to my immense surprise, it wasn't going to be tonight.

"Take her to her room." Aro instructed before we'd even entered the round room, "She's to rest, and nothing more."

Obediently, Josh carried me back up the hall, his steps echoing around us. I was faking sleep the best I could, trying so hard to numb myself.

He laid me on my bed, clearing my hair from my face. I kept my eyes closed, refusing to acknowledge he was here. I just wanted to be left alone. To my disappointment, however, he sighed and sat down.

He stayed with me for quite some time. Silently, of course, but he stayed. Probably thinking, but never bothering me. I eventually did manage to fall asleep, so I wasn't awake to see him leave.

After that, though, I was left alone. For a solid three days, I was left alone. Never bothered by more than Aidan to give me something to eat, until Aro finally called me back into the room.

Back in my usual black attire, I stepped slowly through the hall. My shirt almost didn't fit right, as I was still a little swollen around my midsection, but I didn't pay much attention to that. If I did, I'd remember everything I left behind.

I kept my expression calm, even as I remembered everything I left behind anyway.

Knowing everything Carlisle taught me, my stitches were healing well. No hint of infection, or swelling around the stitches themselves. They didn't even hurt anymore, so I knew I was alright. Unfortunately.

I nervously appeared before Aro, Marcus and Caius. This was it. The moment of truth.

"You've healed nicely, I see." Aro smiled, standing to greet me.

"I have." I replied quietly. Despite how quietly I spoke, my words still echoed in the room.

"Some would even say.." He trailed off, coming to stand in front of me, "That you'd be in perfect health. Considering what you've just gone through."

"You could say that, I guess." I mumbled, keeping my eyes averted. I was nervous. Waiting for the moment that he found out. Noting my distant behavior, he continued.

"You're to be switched rooms." He informed me quietly, "You're turning seventeen next week, Lioness. Happy early birthday, my dear."

"Thank you." I replied, "But where am I going to be staying?"

"With me, of course. In my quarters." He chuckled as if it were common knowledge. I looked up at him, surprised, "Did you expect otherwise?"

"W-Wait.. What? Huh?" I was shocked. Floored, beyond belief. I had no idea this was coming.

"Oh, I can see this news does come as a shock to you." He smiled, "Don't worry, dear one. You'll be given plenty of time to adjust and grow accustomed to the idea."

"The idea of _what_?" I demanded, not at all happy. What was he _thinking_?

"In about a year or so, becoming my mate." He replied simply, "Nothing less, nothing more."

"Are you _crazy_?" I snapped, taking a step back, "I'm not your mate." Just the thought, the very idea of what that word meant burned me. Revolted me, and I struggled to keep from throwing up. My shocked expression must have pleased him. Given his chuckle.

"I have my reasons, Leandra." He told me firmly, "Don't push me."

"I want to hear those reasons." I glared, "Either way, _that's_ not happening."

"It'll all come to light in due time, but for now, you'll be shown your new place." He assured me, not bothered in the least. There wasn't much I could do to stop it as a human. I'd seen the way he loved to double-cross people. Especially humans who he held no regard for. This shouldn't have surprised me so much, but it did. It shocked me.

Before I could form a response to that, I was taken by the arm. Tugged backwards, towards the door.

I was torn. I didn't want to be taken away, but I also didn't want to wind up giving up everything I knew. If he didn't find out on his own, he wouldn't find out at all. I wouldn't say a word about what I knew. He would have to see it for himself.

I struggled hard once I found my footing. As hard as I could, pissed beyond measure.

"It's _not_ happening!" I shouted back at him, "You hear me, you son-of-a-bitch? It's not! No way!"

"You'll change your mind, Leandra." He called in return, "I suggest you get comfortable."

I was taken up the hall, up to the main level of the building, and higher.

This room was much larger than my previous one. Looking much the same, but the bathroom was much larger as well. And this room had a window. I was shoved into the room, and the door slammed shut just as I turned, slapping my hands against the wood.

I slapped my hands against the door twice more, resting my forehead against the wood. Why would he suddenly do this to me? I was wrong before. Dying wasn't the worst thing in the world that could happen to me.

I could only hope Alice could see me. Then I thought about it. Even if she could, I wouldn't want them coming back for me. I wanted them to stay gone.

Whimpering quietly, I turned back to the room. Looking around hopelessly. I had no hopes of escaping on my own. Depending on how this went, I'd be stuck here for as long as he deemed it necessary.

I _did_ appreciate the window, though. I slowly crossed the room, and peered out of it. Looking out over the city. Watching the people outside, and wondered what they were doing. How their lives had played out up until that point, and I wondered how far they had yet to go. If they met Aro, or any of the Volturi, it wouldn't be that far.

After enough time, I slowly sat down on the side of the bed, not daring to get comfortable. A sort of numbing acceptance started to settle in my stomach, but I knew. I knew that would leave the second I had to keep fighting. I wondered where the family had gone. I wondered how Isaiah was doing. I wondered if he was scared, but I knew with them, he had no reason to be. That was the only comfort I had.

I was on my feet the second the door opened again, rounding to face Aro as he closed the door behind himself.

"Make no mistake." He started, his eyes on me, "I will not force you. Physically, at least." I glared, my back hitting the wall, "The only way at all you'll see interaction is by me. No. I will not force you, but I do know how to break a stubborn female."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded, and he smirked, "Aren't you married already?"

He found that second question even more amusing.

"Leandra." He shook his head, "Marriage doesn't mean much to us." Still finding me confused, he continued.

"I suppose it would do to let you know my reasons." He said, slowly rounding the bed, "Wouldn't it?" He paused, and I stayed quiet. I knew whatever he was about to say was going to haunt me for a long while.

"Well, let me begin with our understanding. I know how difficult a task lay ahead of me, but you do know me. Better than I can say for anyone else. You know that I always get what I want. That is no secret to us, is it?"

I slid along the wall as he approached. Trying to keep as much distance between us as possible.

"I believe," He continued, not seeming bothered by my refusal in the least, "That I found you for a reason, Leandra. You're my soul mate. The one I was meant to find."

"You've completely lost your mind." I growled, my trembling voice hardly making a sound.

"Who else, but my soul mate, would know me almost as well as I know myself?" He murmured, "Of course, I use that term loosely. Who else, but my soul mate, would have a gift so closely knit to mine? That's a sign in itself, Lioness."

"Stop calling me that." I mumbled, turning my face away.

"You're meant to be mine." He finally made it to me, doing nothing but standing there, "There is no use in fighting it." I stayed quiet, but obviously defiant as I chose a spot on the wall to glare at. I knew it'd do no good to keep telling him how crazy he sounded right then, or to tell him how I didn't want this. He knew already. He knew all I wanted to do was go home.

"My second reason, is this." His hand reached out, and his palm pressed to my lower stomach. Right over my stitches. I flinched, closing my eyes, but otherwise never acknowledged the touch, "You've perfected something that's never before been perfected, Leandra. You managed to carry a half-vampire infant safely, and not only remain alive, but remain human through the birth. That in itself is a major testiment to your strength. I have no doubts that you can do it again."

I finally glared up at him, and he smiled. Obviously amused.

"Third, you already know." He smiled softly, "I know you know. You understand my reasons for how this entire situation unfolded, and you know my true intentions."

"You wanted me to get pregnant." I muttered, keeping my eyes from his, "Just so you could have a hybrid of your own."

"And I will." He pointed out, gaining my attention back on him, "I'm not through trying, Leandra. Not at all." I refused to respond to that. Waiting for him to say it.

"Had you chosen to let your existing child accompany us back to Volterra, I would have had no reason to do this." He murmured, reaching up and stroking my cheek, "Now, I must insist another be made, and I want it to be yours. I must admit, that thought doesn't upset me in the least. Only you will do, Lioness, and I always get what I want. Perhaps you'll give me an heir with your magnificent gift."

"There are two problems to what you just said." I finally mumbled, slapping his hand away. He smirked, letting his hand drop. I couldn't keep silent anymore. Things had changed now, and I was about to bring it to his attention.

I could only hope my family understood, and that they had enough of a headstart.

"One, I don't have my gift anymore." His eyes narrowed, "And two, having another baby like that will probably kill me. Especially so soon after this one." I watched, almost hypnotised by the way the emotions crossed his features. First, curious amusement. Second, sudden realization as his smile faded, and finally, anger as he realized that I wasn't bluffing.

He grabbed my hand more forcefully than he ever had before, searching for the vision I always used to give him. Instead, he only found my thoughts. My realization.

My gift, the one I'd developed so strongly since I was eleven years old, now belonged to my son. Every bit of it. It wasn't the fact that Isaiah had the same gift I had that kept me from being able to see while I was pregnant.

It was the fact that Isaiah was taking it from me.

The very second he was born, I lost my ability to see. I lost every special ability I had, and Isaiah held it all. I hadn't realized that until the day Aro came back for me, but I chose to keep it a secret. Hidden for as long as I could from Aro, to give my family plenty of time to hide Isaiah, and the gift he had now.

I had no idea where they would take him, so I was completely useless in that aspect.

I glared, as he continued to watch.

"I always used to say," I mumbled as he released my hand, "That if there was a way to just give you my gift in a neat little package, I would, if it meant that I could go home." He glared right back at me, not used to being fooled, "It must bother you to know that you held my gift in your hands, and you let him go." I waited for him to say something. He said nothing, so I continued with a verbal slap to his face.

"Now, you'll never have it, because you're _never_ going to find him."

**A/N: Yes, it's long lol but I wanted to get this out there before I added even more stuff to it.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! Omg, I love reading them! They always brighten my mood. Even if it's already bright lol  
Short A/N again this time, guys. I'm not feeling well today, unfortunately.  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I _so_ look forward to reading your thoughts on it. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"No." He growled, very unhappy at this turn of events.

He released my hand and I smirked up at him. It was obvious to me that he'd never expected me to betray him this way, or outsmart him. Especially given the fact that I was just a normal human now.

I couldn't help, though, being a little scared. What would he do now that he knew I had?

"Betray me, Aro," I replied, watching his eyes darken, "I betray you right back. I'd have betrayed you anyway, and I'll do it again when it comes to my son. Perhaps I'm not meant for you if you never knew that."

"If bearing another hybrid child would lead to your demise, so be it." He growled down at me, but I stayed firm, "It'd not be a loss anymore. Six months, Leandra. Six months is all the time you get, and whether or not you consent is what decides your fate."

"Aro, you're not getting it." I told him, "Conceiving a normal baby so soon between them would be stupid. Beyond stupid. Even in six months. You saw what I went through with my son. I'd need much longer of a time before having another. If at all."

I was trying to keep him from killing me on the spot. Trying to buy myself some time, and my explanation seemed to calm him down ever-so-slightly.

"And besides." I continued, "You would have to force me because I'm not stupid enough to go through that all again for someone like _you_."

"I have my ways, Leandra." He replied, and the anger was back. It was more of the fact that I'd fooled him that had him irritated, though. Not that I was refusing him. He seemed pretty confident in that aspect.

With that, he turned. Before I could even fully react to what he told me, he was gone. I stood still, for several seconds after the door closed. I hadn't realized how badly I was trembling before. Now it registered to me.

Almost numbly, I turned back to the window.

Would it be easier to just throw myself from this window right now? I was going to die either way. I could only hope Alice could see him coming now. No doubts he would send every tracker he had after them, and I felt horrible. Now that he knew I no longer had my gift.

Looking out over the lighted city below, I had to admit that it was pretty. In its own way. I wondered briefly if I was going insane. Focusing on the way the city looked at night instead of how much trouble I was in once more. Maybe I was just tired of worrying about stuff I knew I couldn't change. Maybe I'd just had enough, and this was my final fight. Maybe I knew it was pointless to fight anymore.

Maybe I just felt alone. Maybe I just felt like a piece of me was missing, and I didn't know what I had left to fight for. I'd lost those I loved most. With any luck, I'd never see my family again. With any luck, I'd never see my son again. As much as it bothered me, I had to hope that I never would. Seeing them again would mean they'd been found, and weren't able to outrun the Volturi.

I'd bought them as much time as I could. Three days was all they got. The rest was up to them.

I wondered if I would ever know what happened. Where they went, or how long they ran that first day. I wondered if I would ever know how my son grew up. What he looked like, whose personality he'd taken most. I wondered if he'd _really_ grow up happy. Or living in constant fear, wondering if I still loved him.

Aro returned the next morning to find me sitting on the floor, my knees drawn up. I was being stubborn, I knew. Pointlessly stubborn by choosing the floor instead of choosing to make myself comfortable, but I wasn't about to make it easy on him. I had standards. I glared at him tiredly from my place beneath the window, watching as he placed a tray of food on the table beside the door, and crossed the room. Sitting on the bed, his movements were slow.

"Oh, Leandra." He sighed, giving me a look, "I'm aware I was a tad harsh with you last night. I apologize." I didn't buy his tone one bit, "I understand why you're so very guarded, my dear, but I assure you, there's no need." He waited, obviously wanting me to speak. I only looked away. Adjusting how I sat.

He chuckled after a moment, "I know this little game. I've seen you play it many times before, but you seem to forget. I do know you, Leandra. It's only a matter of time before you give in, and accept my advances."

Again, I stayed quiet. There was nothing for me to say. He sighed, standing.

"Take your time, Leandra." He told me, turning, "I've got more than enough time to wait you out." I watched him leave, closing the door behind himself. Instead of standing, and moving for the food, I closed my eyes. Resting my forehead on my drawn up knees, I snoozed there. I was more tired than hungry to be honest. I couldn't curl into as tight of a ball as I wanted, as I was still healing, but it was effective enough.

I lasted the weekend. Never showered, never moved unless it was to use the bathroom or clean my stitches. I wasn't sure why I did that. Probably because I knew dying of an infection would have been a very painful way to go.

I never ate whatever it was he brought me. I drank the water from the tap. He did have a point, though. I could only last like this for a short time, and giving just enough would pave the way to giving in completely. I didn't want to do that.

Each time I saw him, he gave no indication of impatience. I, however, was getting impatient. My silence, my refusal to eat wasn't doing enough for me. It wasn't getting my point across.

Monday morning, I sat in the same spot I always sat. I'd resorted to moving a pillow onto the floor, just so I wasn't in so much pain, but I could feel my resolve already beginning to crumble. Reasoning with myself that it wouldn't be so bad to sit on the bed. Just to sit.

I couldn't let myself give in.

The door opened and closed quickly, so unlike Aro, which I noticed instantly. It wasn't Aro that came in, though. I looked up at Josh, watching as he quickly crossed the room to me. I tensed, not sure what to expect, but I couldn't help being overjoyed to see him. Anyone besides Aro.

Kneeling beside me, he took my cheeks in his hands and gently pressed his forehead to mine.

"No." He whispered, "No, this isn't right. It was one thing to offer you to me, but not take you for himself." I was confused, but I hardly cared, "Leandra, I'm sorry." My eyes closed, and I pressed my forehead more firmly against his. Giving a quiet sob, I let him know just how much I missed him with just that one sound. I missed him, not who he'd become. It was unspeakably difficult to see him as anyone other than who I'd grown to love.

"I can't stay." He whispered, shaking his head, "I'm not supposed to be in here, but I had to see you. I'll make it right, Leandra. I promise. I'll make it right somehow." He kissed me, just long enough for me to return it before he was suddenly gone.

Seeing Josh had been so intense, even for the short amount of time I had. I whimpered now in loneliness. Aro would know he was here by his lingering scent. I didn't want that, so I climbed to my feet. Jogging into the bathroom, I searched for anything that would help.

I found several bottles of perfume, choosing just one I carried it back into the bedroom. I was worried that might send Aro the wrong message, but I had to try. I sprayed it everywhere Josh had been, stomping it into the carpet, and over the doorknob. The smell was overwhelming, so I hoped it was enough.

It turned out it was. Aro came in several hours later, and never even indicated he smelled anything off. I didn't know how long I would be here, but if the perfume thing helped, I'd keep doing it if it meant I could have Josh in here.

I couldn't help being suspicious, though. This could easily have been another trick. Aro knew how strongly I still felt for Josh. Aro also knew I'd never accept him. Not willingly, but he knew there was a chance at giving in to Josh. Was Aro just using Josh again?

The morning of my birthday arrived. I turned seventeen on the floor.

I watched Aro step into the room, once more closing the door behind himself.

"Is today the day, my dear?" He asked cheerfully, "Will today be the day you end this silly protest?" I was especially bitchy that morning, and if he was smart, he wouldn't stick around.

Turning my head, I glared at the floor beside me. Desperation suddenly filled me, and my expression reflected that. Melting from a glare, to tears filling my eyes. I knew he saw this.

Throwing myself to my feet, I stood there. Both fists clenched, keeping my eyes on the floor.

"I don't want this." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"I'm aware." He chuckled, "Now, what I don't understand, is why you're so against this. I've tried being pleasant with you, but you're refusing to see it."

"Pleasant?" I asked, finally looking to him.

"I've been nothing but nice to you, my dear." He clarified.

"Nice?" I asked again, my tone stiff, "You've been nice to me?"

"I have." He agreed, "I think it's far passed time we end this."

"I agree!" My shouted voice had to have rung up the hall, "We _do_ need to end this! I'm never going to accept you! I'll kill myself first! I promised not to be difficult, I realize this, but that was before I knew how fucking crazy you are!"

"Leandra." He murmured, his tone highly condescending.

"Don't say my name." I countered, "I've dealt with enough assholes like you in my life to know that you're nothing better than some fucked-up bully, who's never gotten enough affection in their lives, so they try to force others to bend. I'm not bending this time!"

"Now, now-"

"Shut up!" I interrupted him, surprising him, "I'm not done! I'm not bending! I won't! No matter what you try to tell me, it's not going to work! You know me. You know my life, and you know that I know exactly what you're doing!" I paused for a breath, "You're trying to turn this around on me. You're trying to make me feel like I'm overreacting, and the second I do that, you'll press even more. I know you, Aro, and I know your kind! It's not going to work!"

By now, anyone else would have lost their patience with me. Him, he was perfectly easy. Not seeming like he cared in the slightest.

"I do know you, Leandra." He murmured calmly, smiling, "I know what you're trying to do."

"And what's that?" I demanded, "Please. I'm curious."

"You're attempting to make me lose my temper." He explained, "You're trying to make me angry, because that's familiar to you." I didn't know what to say to that, "You're feeling threatened, my dear, so you crave familiarity. You crave the knowledge that you can do something about this. However, I'll be the first to tell you that you can't."

My anger faded slightly back to hopelessness, watching him standing there. Knowing he was right.

"You can't." He told me gently, "There is nothing you can do, and it hurts me so to see you fight this so fervidly." I searched my mind. Trying so hard to come up with something else to say to that. I really couldn't. There was nothing I could say.

Seeing he'd won for now, he smiled kindly my way. Giving me a nod, he turned back to the door. Leaving me standing there in shocked silence.

"Oh," I looked back up, "I think you should know that we've found the location of a few select members of your family. Funny story, that is. It seems they've split up." He chuckled, seeming very amused, "The useful ones will be spared if they so choose, but.. The others.." He trailed off with a slow shrug, "Once we manage to get their location from the ones we've found, anyway."

"You're lying." I mumbled, and he smirked.

"Am I?" He asked in return, "I'd be willing to bet you wish you were able to see right about now. Would I be right?"

"You wouldn't." I had to keep arguing, "Aro, tell me you won't hurt them."

"I wish I could, my dear." He replied, "I truly wish I could, but you know my policies on those that betray me, Leandra. As far as I'm concerned, they were accomplices." I was silent now, standing there awkwardly, "It was Carlisle you tasked to watch the child, wasn't it?" He waited, "Once he is brought in, I'll give you one chance to get the information I need from him before I take forceful measures." He gave me another smile, turning again. He pulled open the door before I could speak again.

"Leave them alone, Aro." I said, "This was my fault. Not theirs."

He paused, looking back at me.

"Consequences, Leandra." Was all he said, leaving.

Closing the door behind himself, it took me a moment to get moving. He was going to make me choose between keeping Carlisle alive, or giving him my son.

When I did, I was angry again. Picking up the tray of food sitting on the bed, I threw it as hard as I could at the door. The dishes shattered violently, glass and food littering the floor.

It wasn't enough, but there wasn't anything I could do. I spun, kicking and punching the stone wall behind me, melting with each passing second into desperate sobs. I couldn't stand the thought that by asking them to help me, I'd gotten them into trouble.

The day progressed. Faster now, I eventually stopped crying. I sat back against the wall, my hand knotted in my hair as I stared down at the floor.

Trying so hard to think of a way to get them out of this. Trying to think rationally. Aro knew if he were to hurt them, he'd never win me over. There would be no chance in hell. He had to know that. Maybe if I stopped being so stubborn, and maybe if I made it easier on Aro, he'd spare them.

It wasn't exactly giving in, I reasoned with myself. It was cooperating.

But that still seemed so wrong. So against everything I wanted. I hated, resented the very idea of doing so, but I had to give him something he wanted if he would even consider returning the favor.

I decided to relent just enough to allow myself a shower. I'd at least earned that. My hair was still damp as Aro came into the room to collect me. Night had fallen by then, so it was dark outside the windows. Torches lit the hallways as Aro led me from the room.

This time, when he spoke to me, I chose not to glare at him. I kept my eyes on the floor.

I stepped into the round room slowly, trembling with every step. Aro beside me every step. Chuckling as we did so. I chanced a glance up, seeing that he hadn't been lying. There, probably waiting for us, was both Carlisle and Esme. They'd both been caught.

Now they stood there, were I'd so often stood.

I looked back down. Sniffling.

"She's far more behaved tonight." Aro announced conversationally, "I can't tell you how happy that makes me, my dear."

The room was pretty empty, other than Josh standing back by the door, and Aidan on the other side of it. Two other members of the guard, making those watching us four. Of course, along with Aro, Carlisle and Esme.

Aro stepped forward, attempting to greet me with an embrace, and I had no choice but to stiffly accept it. I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as he held me in his arms. I never wanted to die more than I had in that one moment. I looked up at him, and he returned the gaze.

"I know how hard this is on you, Leandra." He told me quietly, "But I assure you, it only gets easier the more you lose your will to fight. Your efforts of cooperation haven't gone unnoticed, and will not be unrewarded." He paused, glancing over toward Carlisle and Esme. They were watching with hatred in their eyes. They knew now, if they didn't know before, what his intentions with me were. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"I'm giving you a chance, Leandra." Aro informed me, bringing my gaze back to his, "One single chance to save both their lives, and your family's life, if you only get me the location of your son."

I looked down instantly. Realizing fully that this was the first time he'd ever mentioned Isaiah as my son, instead of as the infant. He was pushing. Seeing my cooperation, he took as defeat. I sure wasn't one hundred percent certain that it wasn't the same thing.

"I'm giving you the chance first." He explained again, "Because I know you have more influence with them. If I can get away with allowing them to live, and with as minimal discomfort as possible, I'd like to. Do them a favor, Leandra. And yourself. I know how badly it'd hurt you to lose them." I closed my eyes again, and he sighed.

"How beautiful you are when you're not hostile." He chuckled, choosing to stop pushing his luck and he stepped back.

"I've got some information in tonight about possible sightings of the others." Aro informed me, "While you have your moment, I'll go see about that. I haven't taken their hand yet, as I trust you've got it handled just fine. When I return, I'd better have some more information, or I won't hesitate."

I watched him turn, leaving. The door closing behind him before I turned, looking to Carlisle. I knew they could clearly see just how hard the last few days had been on me. It was wearing me down. I could feel how it had changed me so far.

"This wasn't an accident, Leandra." Carlisle spoke before I could, "We're here for a reason." That surprised me.

"You wanted to get caught?" I asked, slow tears starting.

"Yes." Esme answered, "Honey, we couldn't leave you here." So Alice had seen me. She'd seen me, and the shitty future I had here.

"You promised me!" I suddenly shouted with as much feeling as I could, "You promised you'd protect Isaiah! Why didn't you just leave me here?" My shouted voice hurt my ears in the echo that returned.

Carlisle strode forward now, attempting to hug me, but I shoved away from him. Instead of being surprised, though, he understood.

"You should have stayed away!" I cried, "I didn't want to see you! I did what I did so you could stay away! Why would you just walk right back in here?"

"Isaiah is fine." Esme assured me, "The others have him. Neither of us know where they'd take him, so they won't get the information from us."

"That doesn't solve everything!" I shook my head fiercely, "Don't you understand? If you don't know, I can't know, and if I can't know, he's going to kill you. I can't watch that!" Carlisle gently gripped my arm and pulled me into a hug. I fought hard at first, until breathless sobs stole my fight.

"It'll be alright." He murmured above my cries as I hugged onto him, "I promise you that. Even if something does happen to us, you'll be alright." I continued to cry, "You're the definition of a selfless parent, Leandra. It's far passed time now for us to return the favor."

I was confused, looking up at him.

"We don't have much time." He told me urgently, "But by now, we've had our turn. Our chance at life. It's not tolerable to steal your chance away." Hearing him say that, his tone both comforting and saddened, told me all I needed to to know.

"No." I cried, shaking my head. I knew what he was saying, "You can't."

"I can. We can." He responded calmly, "We can't just sit back any longer. We love you, Leandra. Please know that." Pressing a brief kiss to the top of my head, he pulled back. Glancing at his watch, we were suddenly across the room.

Things sped up from there.

Before I could blink, Esme had me. Hugging me tightly, she whispered against the side of my head, "We love you, Leandra. Stay strong."

Perhaps two split seconds later, Carlisle had managed to punch a hole in the wall. Just tore through the solid stone like it was tissue paper. Creating a hole just wide enough for me to fit through, and Esme was pushing me out of it. I tried to resist, but she insisted. Were they really trying to kill me?

As I was falling, I heard the definite sounds of fighting back behind me in the room.

I couldn't see anything, so naturally, I was afraid. Squeezing my eyes shut, screaming as I felt myself suddenly caught, and the wind passing us as we ran.

It was Edward that had me, and I knew why. He was the fastest out of everyone. I looked up at him in the night, still panting in my dizziness. Everything had happened so fast.

Mentally, I pieced it together. They had gotten themselves caught so they could come in and get me out. Holding off the guards just long enough to get me free. There was no way they had a chance against four others. At best, three. I didn't know if Josh had the courage it took to attempt hurting them.

"Go back!" I finally called over the rush of the wind passed us, "Edward, go back." He didn't say anything, but the determined look on his face only got harder. Firmer.

"Go back!" I cried this time, my voice choked with desperate emotion, "They need us!"

He neither spoke, nor did as I told him to. He just kept running. I sobbed now, knowing what had happened. My head ached deeply with the sobs I gave now, until we suddenly stopped. In an alleyway, behind some houses in town.

Edward let me down onto my feet, steadying me with his hands on my shoulders. It was pitch dark here, and I could barely see him as I looked up through my tears.

"Stay." He told me, "Don't try to go back. Don't make their sacrifice mean nothing."

"I never got to say goodbye." I cried, "Why wouldn't they let me say goodbye?"

"Just be as committed to your survival as they were." He replied, obviously not knowing how to answer my question.

I was suddenly alone, looking around myself in the dark. He was gone now. My head still spun, and I didn't know what he expected me to do now. Not only was my heart breaking, but I was too shaken up to even walk very far. I was surprised I could even stay standing. I had no idea where I was, and I was alone. I didn't know where to go, so I just stood there. Crying, alone in the dark.

Before I could stand there wondering for too long, I was suddenly scooped up yet again. Jasper held me now, as we continued running. Alice to his left. My heart pounded too fast, but this was distracting me effectively from what I'd just left behind. I still whimpered, however, frightened for reasons I still didn't understand.

"I don't understand." I admitted, keeping my eyes shut tight, "Jasper, please-"

"It'll be alright, Leandra." Alice answered me, "Just hang on."

"B-But-"

"Trust me." She interrupted me again, and I sighed heavily. A single, quiet sob leaving me. I didn't try again. This was obviously something they didn't want me to address. Nobody said anything. Only carried me further from Volterra, and all that was involved with it.

I was scared, which was an understatement. I knew what taking me from that place would cause. Everything seemed to be speeding up now. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Taking me was as good as slapping Aro in the face. If not worse.

This was the very same as Alice kicking him that time in the vision. The very same, and I knew things would be a lot harder from then on. Even without my gift, I knew it. Jasper knew it. Alice and Edward knew it, and everyone else had to know it.

By taking me, they had pissed off the leader of the most powerful coven of vampires in existence. Igniting something that couldn't be undone until something gave.

"Don't move." Jasper told me firmly once we stopped at least an hour later, "I mean it, Leandra. Stay put."

"Don't leave me." I cried, pleading a second too late. They were gone, and I was left standing there. I was scared, stuck in the rain now, and I had even less of an idea of where I now was. I knew what they were doing, and it was genius, but I was alone. I was afraid, and in a rather busy city.

They were tossing me around, leaving me in designated spots for someone else to come and pick me up. Never knowing who it would be to come to get me, so in case any of them were caught, the others couldn't get into trouble, but where would I end up?

I cried now, getting so very tired. All I wanted was for someone to fill me in. What had changed? Why do this all of a sudden? I knew they knew, but this was different. Was my future there that bad that they felt the sudden need to kidnap me? For Carlisle and Esme to...

I couldn't think it.

I yelped as I was suddenly picked up yet again. I recognized instantly Emmett's arms supporting me, so I wrapped my arms around his neck. My grew tears cold from the wind passing me. My head was spinning, and I just wanted it to stop.

Rosalie wasn't with him, to my surprise. He was alone. I wondered where Rose was. Perhaps she was back home with Isaiah. Helping keep him safe there?

It was Emmett that took me back across the ocean. That was what took the most time. There was no time for a boat, so I had to keep holding my breath as he swam with me holding onto his neck. That sucked most, as I still very much hated the water. I couldn't help feeling like I was drowning, and a few times, he had to stop to let me calm down due to my panicking.

"You can do this, shorty." He told me, having to stop for the seventeenth time, "I've got you. I know you're busy freaking out, but we have to keep going."

"I know." I cried, "J-Just.. Hold me up for a second. I'm so tired!" Tears poured from my eyes, coating my cheeks just as much as the ocean waters did, and he did as I asked him to.

Turning in the water and wrapping his arms around my waist, and raising me higher in the water. Keeping my head above the water enough for me to calm down. Every direction I looked, and could successfully see, was water. It was such an overwhelming sight, that I could only cry even more.

"Just another thirty minutes." He said, "Then you never have to see the ocean again." I struggled to compose myself, nodding. He lowered me back into the water, and got back into the position we needed to be in. My arms wrapped around his neck, holding onto him as he towed me. Waiting for me to take a deeper breath before continuing on at the pace he was going.

At some point, he changed directions. Headed south for quite a distance, and further west.

It took us roughly two full hours in the water to get to where we were going. The second his feet were on land, he swung me around to lay in his arms now, and started running.

He eventually dropped me off in an abandoned alley somewhere in Mexico. I knew that, because I recognized the language spoken by the people in the building beside the alley. I was half conscious now, soaking wet, and exhausted.

It was raining here too, but this was cold rain. I shivered as I sat there against a brick wall. The routine of having to hold my breath with only a few moments between to breathe really wore me out.

I was lifted again, making no sound this time. It was Jasper again, and from there, we went north. Alice wasn't with him this time, and I figured it was because running around in pairs was too dangerous. Too easy to follow.

I recognized nothing about where I was let down next, or the three times after that. Nobody explained. I wasn't filled in. I was never alone for longer than a minute, to my relief.

I was mostly asleep when I was picked up sometime near dawn. I never bothered to open my eyes, and the supportive way I was held comforted me enough to fall unconscious.

When I woke up, it was because I was cold. I was very cold. I opened my eyes, tiredly looking around the dimly lit hotel room. The only light coming from behind the thick, drawn curtains over the window. I must have just gotten there, given how wet my hair still was, and how cold I still was, despite being under the heavy blanket on the bed.

I wondered who it was that had brought me here. Wherever here was. Groaning, I rolled over. Onto my back, to look up at the ceiling. After the night I'd had, it felt too much like I'd been hit by a train.

Being constantly yanked up off my feet, and the swim through the ocean. It was just as tiring being towed as it was swimming. The cold rain, and whatever else I might have gone through while I was unconscious. All of that, on top of what I'd gone through in the last week. The stress, fear and anger all compiled into one, energy stealing emotion that wouldn't stop until I knew I was safe. I was much too tired to try to figure it out right that moment, however.

I realized then that my clothes had been changed. I was out of the outfit I'd left Volterra in, and laying comfortably now in a soft cotton t-shirt, and shorts. Given the logo on the t-shirt, I knew what the name of the hotel was, but that didn't give me a location. I stopped wondering, feeling myself beginning to warm up.

I stopped caring so much at that point, choosing to just roll over onto my other side, curl further into the blanket and the incredibly soft sheets, and fall back to sleep.

I woke next to a pressure on the inside of my wrist. Opening my eyes, it took me a moment to realize I was looking right at Carlisle. When it registered to me, I flew upright and hugged him tightly.

"Don't ever do that to me again." I mumbled. Before he could even really return the embrace, I pulled back. I looked around briefly.

"Where's Esme?" He was quiet for a moment, sighing.

"You should rest." I didn't like the sound of his tone, and it showed in the now guarded look in my eyes.

"Carlisle?" I asked, "Where is she?"

"There are a few we haven't heard from yet." He told me quietly, and my heart sank, "We knew splitting up was going to be dangerous. They could just be taking the long way-"

"Who?" I had to ask, "Who all is still missing?"

"Leandra-"

"Who?" I wasn't letting him get by this question. I needed to know.

"Esme," He answered, sighing, "Mikah, and Jasper." I closed my eyes, hanging my head, "They haven't been in contact since early yesterday evening." I was quiet, trying to keep from crying, "That could mean anything, Leandra. None of us have lost hope." I lost my ability to keep quiet, sobs shaking me.

"I never meant for any of this to happen." I cried, shaking my head, "I never wanted this."

"I know, Leandra." He told me, "I know. Just breathe."

His attention was taken by his phone across the room. In the time it took me to look toward it, he was already at it. My sobs stopped instantly, and I waited as he opened the message that had been sent to it.

He sighed, "Jasper's alright. He found Alice just a moment ago." He paused, "He had to take care of a follower." I shivered at that image, and what that told me.

"Will Esme just show up?" I asked hopefully.

"She can't." He replied, "She'll need to contact me first, because she wasn't told beforehand where you would be taken. And even then, she'd have no idea who was even with you. The only way for her to get information would be to ask everyone if they have you. Depending on who replies, and what they say, she'll know where to look." I was quiet, looking down, "You really should rest. You've been through so much."

"I don't care." I countered, flinging the blanket back. I stood up, pacing a little. Trying to hold it together, even with as worried as I was.

"Since you seem to be the only one willing to explain," I finally mumbled, looking back at him, "Can I have some sort of hint as to what's going on? How'd you get out of there?"

He sighed as if not wanting to answer.

"Josh." He replied quietly, "And Aidan. They fought the other two guards long enough for us to get away. They most likely didn't make it." I looked down. To my surprise, very sad at the thought.

Maybe I was sad for the way he used to be. Maybe I felt sad for my friend, one of the best friends I'd ever had. How I never had a chance to teach him. To turn him around, and make him good again. I never had a chance to tell him how much he used to mean to me.

I sniffled after several minutes, nodding. I understood, and I couldn't explain how grateful I was.

"What about Isaiah?" I had to ask, "Is he okay?"

"He's just fine." He answered, "I can't tell you where he is, but there is very little chance Aro is going to find him."

"He's alone?" I asked, panicked.

"No." He said, "Ness is with him, but where, nobody else knows. We just know she's alright." She probably keeps contact. I accepted that, nodding, "Get some rest, Leandra. It's going to be awhile before we move again."

"I can't sleep." I shook my head again, "There's no way." I looked up, meeting his worried eyes, "I didn't sleep much there."

"I can easily understand why." He sighed, "But you're safe now."

"I think Aro has finally lost his mind." I mumbled, "There's no other way to explain it."

"Alice told us." He admitted, standing, "We knew we couldn't leave you there. I'm sorry for worrying you, but we truly weren't expecting to make it out of there."

"I know." I nodded a little, "And you did it anyway." I looked over at him, "Why would you do that?"

"We protect our family." He replied simply, "It took us a little while to understand that you needed our protection the most. We'd been considering our safety in your rescue before. Once we heard about what Aro was planning with you, our safety no longer mattered." I looked down, sighing.

I couldn't explain how amazing it was. How easy it seemed to be for them to just rebel. To band together, and do what needed to be done. Or so they thought. To just walk away from everything they'd ever known, and turn against the ones they'd always been bullied by. The things they could do when they were determined to protect those they cared about amazed me. I'd seen it before, but to see it now, and to this degree, left me speechless.

Everything was just crumbling. Falling apart, seemingly right before my eyes, and it bothered me to know they had to see it to. They knew what they were doing. They were preparing for something much larger than I was, and I had no idea how I was supposed to contribute. To weak to fight, too fragile to really help anyone if I had to, I didn't know what to do.

"You know what this means, though." I mumbled, "I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want you to have to run for the rest of your lives. It's not fair to you."

"It's not fair to you for us to just abandon you." Carlisle countered, "We're not doing that."

I sighed, "He wasn't happy when he found out." I smirked a little, "He wasn't happy that we managed to fool him. It was pure chance that he never took my hand, and that he waited for so long after I got there." I took a deep shaky breath, Realizing for the first time how long I'd been living with a constant fear.

"Thank you." I finally murmured, looking to Carlisle again, "Thank you." I couldn't help hugging him again. Relieved as he returned the embrace.

"It has to end." I cried quietly, "I'm tired of it. Of being so scared." I pulled back, looking up at him, "I can't keep doing this. I'm tired of being too weak to defend my own life." He was quiet, "Seventeen has to be old enough. The longer we wait, the harder it's going to be."

"Leandra, it's still too dangerous to attempt right now." Carlisle told me quietly, "We don't have anywhere to take you to safely turn you."

"Safely?" I asked.

"We're surrounded by humans." He replied, "Not only will noise be an issue, but when you're finished being turned, you won't be able to resist the scent. And turning you under such a threat will make you harder to control, because your instincts will be brand new to you. A threat like Aro will only trigger your defensive instincts, but you don't know how to defend yourself yet. You'll only be confused."

"I'm already defensive and confused." I reasoned, "I just want to have a chance."

"You already do." He said, "Leandra, you have so many others out for your protection."

"If any of them are caught, Aro will use them to get back to me." I replied, "I can't just ignore that, and neither can you. Not with Esme still missing. If I'm turned, Aro will have no reason to want me. I won't be human to have any more kids, and I don't have my gift anymore."

"I'll consider it." He said after a moment, "For now, I want you to sleep. We'll discuss this a little more later, but just rest."

"I can't rest." I replied, "I can't. Not with two still unaccounted for. Especially Esme. If anything happens to her because I was too weak to stay, I'll never forgive myself."

"This wasn't your idea, Leandra." He said, "It was mine. You have no reason to blame yourself for something you had no control over."

"Yes I do." I was so scared, "I can't stand thinking about it. You should be out there looking for her."

"There would be no one here to protect you." Carlisle replied, and I rounded, looking to him.

"Then take me with you if you have to!" I honestly didn't mean to yell, but I was getting irritated, "You know I don't care whatsoever about my own safety when it comes to you, Esme, my son, or any of the family. I'd die in a heartbeat for any one of you."

"And what of the future Aro had planned for you?" His tone was closer to a shout than I'd ever heard it before, "Would you honestly rather go through that, than be somewhere safe?"

"Yes." I said, "If it means you don't have to know how bad it hurts to lose someone you love. I've felt that before. It sucks."

"Leandra, this isn't just something we can just give up now." He crossed his arms, "If something were to happen to her, it would have all been for nothing if I were to leave here with you now, because it'd only be a matter of time before your scent is found."

"I don't care!" I shouted now, "Go find her!"

"I _can't_ do that!" He must have been under a lot of stress for him to respond that way. I instantly backed down at the sound of his shout, "I'm the one who knows everything. I'm the one who knows where you are, where all of the others are and what they're doing, because I was the one to send them there. Taking my hand, Aro would know all he needs to know. Is that something you want?"

"Of course not, b-but.." I trailed off, my voice quieting, unsure how to continue, "B-But.. Carlisle, it's Esme."

He sighed, crossing the room to hug me, "I know. Believe me, I know."

"I can't lose her too." I melted back into sobs now, and he hugged me tighter. It was clear he didn't know what else to say to that. I knew he was going through his own internal battle right that second, but he knew. He understood, as well as I did now that he couldn't just leave, and put everyone else at risk. Even if it was for Esme.

The day progressed that way.

Outside the window, afternoon turned to evening. Evening progressed to night. Each minute that passed without word from them, it grew harder to breathe. Please, I thought. Just let her be okay. That thought crawled through my thoughts once every ten seconds. I needed her to be okay.

I never realized before just how hard it'd be to lose her. Esme was someone that was always supposed to be there. Just as constant as Carlisle, and I'd never considered ever having to worry about her.

Carlisle and I hardly spoke to each other. I tried to imagine how worried he had to be. Given the way he was sitting at the table in the room, staring down at his phone sitting on the table in front of him, I had to say very. I'd never seen him so still.

I knew where he was right then. The worry. The choking fear over not knowing. The borderline panic, wondering what she was going through right then. If she was okay, or if she was hurt. Not knowing what was going on was the very worst part of it.

I remembered clearly how many times he'd comforted me when I was feeling that exact same way. I remembered how often he was there for me, and I really wanted to be able to return the favor.

"I'm sure Esme is fine." I finally spoke, and he looked to me, "I'm sure she's alright. She's tough, Carlisle." It was so hard to keep my voice from trembling, but the need to keep him from worrying too much was more than my need to break down. Yet again.

But the effort was just enough. He forced a smile, sighing.

"You're right." He told me, "She's tough. She can handle herself." I nodded, agreeing with him, "You haven't eaten today." He pointed out, standing, "Stay here. I'll go get something for you." I watched him turn, heading for the door.

"Carlisle?" I called, and he paused, looking back at me, "Promise you'll come back?"

"I will come back." He replied, and I sighed. Nodding.

He couldn't have been gone for more than a few minutes when his phone on the table vibrated, indicating a text message had arrived. I don't think I'd ever crossed any room as fast as I had in that moment.

I picked up the phone with shaking fingers, looking it over. To my relief, it was from Esme.

'I need to know where you are.' Was all the message said, so I scrambled across the room to the short chest of drawers against the wall. Looking for some piece of paper that told me where we were.

Finding it, I realized just how close we actually were to home. He'd taken me to Anchorage, Alaska. So it wouldn't take long to get home if we needed to.

I had just sent the replying message when Carlisle came back into the room. The door closed, and he was suddenly beside me.

He seemed worried, concerned as he pulled the phone from my hand. Confused, I looked up at him as he looked over the message. He looked to me, and I worried even more. Just by the way he looked at me, I knew something was wrong.

"We have to go." He said, turning and heading for the other side of the room.

"Wait." I said, "Why?"

"Remember what I told you about what we were doing?" He asked, and I frowned a little, "How she asks where we are matters, Leandra." His worry was worrying me. I was speechless as he set my now dry clothes and shoes down in front of me, "Get dressed, and hurry."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" I asked, watching as he turned his back. Giving me enough privacy for my taste.

"We have specific phrases to use in specific situations." He explained as I hurriedly pulled my shirt over my head, "That wasn't one of them. She's obviously not with Aro, otherwise he'd know, but whoever it is that has her knows enough to know that you're with me."

"Someone has her?" I asked, pulling my jeans on.

"Yes. Either they have her, or have gotten close enough to get her phone from her." He answered, "Either way, I'm not taking any chances."

"Maybe she just forgot." I offered quietly.

"She wouldn't forget." He countered, "Not when your safety is at risk like this."

I watched as he moved the phone to his ear. I half wondered who he was talking to when he spoke, but I didn't let that slow me down as I slipped my shoes on. I listened.

"We've been found." Were his opening words, "Go back to the house if you're able. We'll meet you there." He hung up as I moved to his side. Looking up at him.

"I'm sorry." I said, "I really didn't know. I-I just thought.. I just wanted it to be her."

"I know." He said urgently, "I know, Leandra. I'm not angry at you. We just have to be very careful now."

Taking my hand, he carefully opened the door. Pausing there for a moment, he led me from the room. I tried to control my breathing, and to not let on how scared I was, but I couldn't help it.

"The closest ones to us are Emmett and Rosalie." He told me, "We need to get to them before attempting anything."

"Have you warned them?" I asked, nervousness making it tough to make my tone stronger than it was.

"I'm sure Edward has by now." He replied, leading me straight into the elevator.

We left the hotel, and headed straight up the street. Into an alley, he lifted me, and we started to run. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting him carry me easily. My thoughts drifted to Esme. I wondered what was going on. What she was going through.

I knew we left town when the sounds of the city faded, and silence replaced it. For a few minutes we ran, and I fully began to realize how cold it was outside. Me without a jacket, I shivered, trying to warm myself up. I distinctly felt the stinging drops on my skin as snow hit me.

"Carlisle," I knew he was startled at Mikah's voice suddenly to his left, "Stop. You can't go back to the house." I peeked over, noticing we'd stopped, "They're watching the house. I know where Esme is, but we have to go now. Before they move her." I was overjoyed to see him, just a bit of relief flooding me as I realized he was fine.

Just one look at him told me he wasn't making this up. I knew him enough, through all the years of spending time with him told me, to know that he actually wouldn't dare betray us. Not after all he's done to keep me safe. To lead us into a trap would go against everything he'd stood for.

Carlisle hesitated, before I spoke.

"I believe him." I shivered, my teeth chattering, looking up at Carlisle, "Don't doubt the family now, Carlisle." The gratefulness in Mikah's eyes as he looked to me was unmistakable.

"I can't take on two of them by myself." Mikah said, "Otherwise I would have. I need your help."

"How did you get free?" Carlisle asked, obviously still suspicious. I was suddenly kicking myself for ever doubting Mikah. He was trying so hard to find his place here, and here I was, making it harder. Especially in times like this.

"I was never held." He said, "I evaded them. I managed to overhear them talking, and- We don't have time for this. The point is, I know where she is."

"But Leandra-"

"Take her with us." He offered, "There's literally no time." The urgency in his voice was genuine. I knew that for a fact.

We were suddenly running again, in a completely new direction now. The wind passing us was only getting colder. It was only mid July, yet here it was snowing. I must have misinterpreted how far north we were.

Mikah led us to a rocky, barren cliff side, sliding to a stop. Looking around. I was let down on my feet beside a large boulder, closed in on three sides and I crouched, making myself a smaller target behind Mikah and Carlisle. The trees were thick now, all around us the snow fell heavily. It was dark, and very cold, but the clouds were bright enough to illuminate enough.

We stood in the silence of the forest, just listening. I was tense, not only because of how cold I was, but because of the situation. I could clearly hear the river below us over the cliff just feet behind me.

Suddenly, up ahead, we watched as Esme was brought forward by a single guard, his hand holding her neck almost too tightly.

That was Esme. Clear as day. Straight ahead, we watched them step from the trees. Mikah had said there were two. Where was the second?

"Carlisle," She spoke, "Don't stay. Take her, and run."

"Aro is waiting." The guard spoke, and I recognized this one as part of the group I'd met when first coming to Volterra. He was strong, and very unstable, "If you think you can free her, I invite you to try."

Carlisle moved forward without even thinking.

"Carlisle, no." Mikah called after him, but it was useless to do so. Carlisle was tackled from the side, and I flinched, watching wide eyed. I recognized the guard Carlisle now fought with. This one's name was Daniel. He wasn't exactly sadistic, but he followed orders to a tee. He was a sort of even mixture of speed and strength. One of the best fighters Aro had.

I couldn't breathe, flying to my feet and trying to run forward, but Mikah stopped me. Keeping me behind him. His arm out protectively, watching as well.

I had no choice but to watch as Carlisle was wrestled to his knees, Daniel on his feet behind him, pausing in position to end his life. Everything had happened so quickly, it was hard to follow, but I managed to follow just in time.

"No!" My pain-filled cry brought Daniel's eyes to me, "Daniel, stop!" He waited, chuckling.

"You're in so much trouble, Leandra." He told me, but I didn't listen, "You almost made it, though. Almost." I'd managed to distract him just enough. I gave pressure to Mikah's back, and he took the hint.

By letting Daniel brag, it had given Mikah enough time to run forward. Faster than I'd ever seen him move. Taking Daniel off guard, and taking him out with a quick movement of his hands. Freeing Carlisle, and allowing me to take an audible, shaky breath in and letting it out in a sob. Carlisle stood quickly, and they turned.

To our surprise, however, Esme was the one to take out her guard. Just as they were finished with their own, Esme got moving in a furious series of movements.

Ducking and twisting in a way I'd never seen her move, she easily took his arm and flipped him forward. He landed on his back, but before he could even start to struggle, she tore his head off with her feet.

Unfortunately, with all three of their attentions taken by the guards and each other, I was left alone for just a second, and I was free to be plucked up easily.

By the time they noticed, I was held tightly back against Aro, his hand holding me still by my neck. In another split second, we were away from the group, standing against the very edge of the cliff.

"That was very creative, Carlisle." Aro murmured, "It was a very valiant try."

Over the edge, led to a steep, almost vertical sharp rocky incline to another, very thin ledge where the rock below that drew back just a bit. Leaving no hope for anything else to land on if anyone were to fall. Over that second ledge, was a straight drop to the wildly rushing river below.

All throughout the white, rushing water, were sharp edged rocks that stood above the water. The violently churning water hit them, splitting around them. I felt my breath catch at just the look down.

Remembering clearly the one time I'd seen anything even remotely like that, I had nearly died. Water like that was the very reason I had such a paralyzing fear of the water now.

Aro spoke as he tensed, "I know she means the world to you, Carlisle, but should you move too quickly, I may.. Slip." I was jerked backwards, and just the motion made me cry out in fear, clinging to Aro's sleeve tightly, "I only wish to speak with her."

I didn't believe his tone one bit, but I didn't stop to consider the consequences. My pounding heart had to give away my fear.

"Last chance, my dear." He told me, not taking his eyes off the group a couple of steps away, "I'm giving you a chance to return with me, and end this right now. What do you choose?" I should have waited. I should have thought carefully about how I answered.

Instead, I spoke in impulse.

"I'm done with you." I growled shakily, "I'm done."

I didn't know the consequences of that until it slowly began to dawn on me. Maybe I shouldn't piss him off, but I wasn't about to agree to something just to save my own life. To save someone else's life, I'd agree in a heartbeat. For my own, I didn't care.

"So be it." The finality of his tone sent fear through me.

"Aro." Mikah's voice was a command. One Aro paid no attention to.

He gripped me tighter by my neck, and my legs tried to buckle, but he held me up. Only a full second had passed, but my heart had time to skip a beat, and speed up.

"Such a shame." Aro murmured to me, and I whimpered. Seeing the decision in his eyes.

I had just enough time to try to grip tighter to his arm before he suddenly turned, and shoved me over the edge of the cliff.

**A/N: ****First off, I'd like to point something out. One, I know it seems rushed, and I apologize, but a lot had to happen in this chapter, and it happened _quick_, so I had to figure out a way to describe as much as I could in the time frame I'd given. That was surprisingly _really_ hard to do. Don't ask me why.  
Next... **I'm so sad!  
Chapter ten is looking a lot like the last chapter in this story. Then I'll have caught up to where I left off to Re-Vamp the series.  
******Now.. Here's the question. I want your opinion, my readers. Should I: **  
A) Continue this series?  
B) Continue the first series?  
C) Continue them both?  
**I'm still considering releasing a one-shot about Leandra's early life. I haven't decided on that yet.  
SO ANYWAY. THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS! I love you allll! If there was any way to send you all cookies, I so would.  
Chapter ten might take some time, because to be honest, I don't want it to end. So I'm taking my time, because I'm selfish.  
Until ten, my friends. :)  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I scrambled, trying to keep hold of his arm, but that was taken from me. I only managed to keep from falling backwards head first, but I gave a shriek as the ground was suddenly gone from beneath my feet.

Inevitably, I fell.

"No!" I heard from above me now, and I knew it was Carlisle that had shouted it. I hardly recognized his voice, however. With the tone of both anger and panic in it. That didn't stop my descent, however.

The first rock I hit, sliding down the sharp, steep incline tore my skin violently. I picked up speed, hitting the next sharp rock full force, and now I tumbled freely, trying with all my might to stop moving. To just find one flat piece of ground, or one thing to grab onto that'd hold me. I gave a cry as my entire left side bounced off a rather large boulder, but I kept tumbling.

Getting literally airborne at times, until I hit the rock again and kept tumbling. I couldn't grab on to anything. There was nothing I could grab.

I heard the sounds of fighting above me, and I recognized Aro's growl. I couldn't help crying out the best I could at hitting one more rock on my way down. My skin and clothing torn, and bleeding profusely, I found a way to stop.

I paid no attention to Aro or his sounds, managing to dig my already bloody fingers into a thick, protruding root on the second ledge, and hang on with all my might. Sliding painfully to a stop, tearing my palms open good, but I stopped falling just in time. Hanging over the final ledge, I had to look down.

I was stationary. A ringing in my ears, my head spinning roughly, but I was stationary.

I panted roughly into the rock face, both arms stretched above me. Struggling to somehow find my footing, and dangling a good twenty-five feet over the rushing river below me.

It wasn't Aro I paid attention to, but it was Carlisle quickly scaling down the rock face toward me. It was harder climbing downwards, but he was managing to. Blood flowed freely down my face from a pretty decent gash over my forehead. I only knew this by how badly it both throbbed and stung with each snowflake that landed on me, and the warmth down the left side of my face. I looked up.

"Hang on, Leandra." Esme called to me, "Hold on."

"Hold on." Carlisle called fiercely to me, the face of the rock giving away easily under his fingers. Pieces of it tumbling freely, over the ledge to either side of me. I shielded my face in my shoulder as larger pieces of rock bounced over me. The half order I heard in his firm voice gave me just a little bit of strength.

"I can't." I sobbed, my fearful voice echoing around me, "I can't." I attempted to pull myself up, but I had never been athletic. I lacked the amount of upper body strength needed to successfully do so. Not to mention the extreme pain I was in right then. I had to have broken several bones with hitting rocks full force like that. I was amazed that I managed to hang there that long.

"Hold on." Carlisle called to me again, "I'm almost there."

I cried now, feeling the strength in my fingers giving with each passing second, even more with each beat of my heart. My feet scrambled, searching desperately for anything to step on to relieve the violent pain in my hands, but I found nothing. There was nothing. I was literally hanging there. Only my hands, wrists and just a bit of my forearms even touching the rocky ledge at all. The rest of me was hanging.

Trembling violently, my entire body wracked with pain, there wasn't much hope for me. I was sobbing openly with the pain in my body, trying to just hold on.

I groaned, attempting to pull myself further up yet again, to get a better grip on the root. It cracked, and I instantly stopped moving, giving another desperate cry. Panting deeply my fear now, my eyes wide with fright. Looking up again, seeing Carlisle nearly there.

He really was almost there. He was almost to me.

I gave a loud sob, watching as Aro started over the edge above Carlisle before Esme could stop him. Glaring heatedly after Carlisle, before moving. Making his way quickly toward Carlisle. This wasn't the carefully calm, collected Aro that I was so used to seeing. I'd _never_ seen that much vengeance in someone's eyes before. I momentarily feared for Mikah, until I realized what was about to happen.

"No!" I cried, "Aro, stop!"

"Carlisle!" Esme called, which took his attention. Bringing it to Aro just as Aro pounced at him. Falling the rest of the way to him. They collided with a deafening sound, tumbling down the rest of the way as they struggled with each other. Falling passed me, over the ledge beside me and toward the wildly rushing river below. I clearly heard the splash as they both hit.

I gave a loud sob, fighting to hold my grip, but I couldn't, and my fingertips just weren't strong enough to hold me. I gave a loud fearful cry, knowing Esme and Mikah heard it. To my very slight relief, Mikah leaned over the edge beside Esme, looking disheveled but alright.

"Shit." Mikah panted, "He got away."

The river below me was much faster than anything I'd ever had to face before. Twice as fast, and easily three times as rough. The roar below me was much louder, and more intimidating than I ever remembered before.

"Hold on, Leandra." Mikah called, starting down himself. Half falling, half climbing, he hurried. Knowing I had seconds worth of strength left.

"Hold on." Esme called to me again, the fear in her voice causing my own to rise.

Mikah had just reached the halfway point between me and the top of the cliff, when I felt it. The deep, resonating pain of the last of my strength leaving my fingers, and the paralyzing fear of knowing what was about to happen.

My fingers let go.

I screamed as I fell feet first, and looked down, watching the river come closer. I hadn't managed to take a breath before I was suddenly underwater. Ice enveloped me, and I couldn't have taken a breath if I tried.

I was instantly moving.

Rolling violently with the water, struggling desperately to find the right way toward the surface. I couldn't find the way up. Hitting boulders and sharp rocks as I went, but that didn't slow me down any. Each time I hit, more breath left me.

My heart pounded painfully in my chest the more my lungs begged for a breath. I hadn't found the surface yet, until I did. I hit a rock, managing to push myself upwards on it and my head went above the water. I gasped deeply, coughing the water from my lungs.

I was swallowed back under after only precious few seconds to breathe.

I tried to swim, but I might as well have weighed five pounds. The water was too strong. Consciousness fought me, and this time, I wasn't strong enough to fight it off. The pain of being tossed around under the water, hitting many sharp rocks full force, after bouncing so violently along the rockface was just too much. I'd breathed in too much water, and I even heard my heart struggling to keep beating.

The last thing I remember was hitting one last rock full force, slamming into it on my left side once more. An explosion of pain through my entire body resulting in a large bubble of what breath I had left rising from me, and then nothing.

During that nothing, I dreamed. I replayed my life from the furthest memory I had of my life, until the moment before the nothing became real.

All the moments that mattered, all compiled together to make me who I was. Every single one. Ages three and four, living through five. Suffering through six, and seven. Eight and nine. Meeting Carlisle and the rest of my family.

Age ten and age eleven. Surviving Jack's return, and all the fear that came with it. Developing my gift, and the events during Bella's last moments human. The show-down, making the agreement. Turning twelve, and thirteen. The trouble as a new teenager, and every single thing I've done to shame my family.

Fourteen and fifteen. Making up for shaming them. Turning sixteen, and counting down the days until Aro came back for me. Leaving with Aro, and what happened there. Coming home was the most bittersweet moment I'd ever known.

Having my baby. Then fighting to keep my baby.

I went back. I looked at everything again. I saw, relived the fight at the high school again. I saw, relived sitting in the chair with Carlisle in front of me. Asking me to be honest with him.

I saw and relived the pain of them leaving. The sense of desperation, all those days sitting outside the house. I relived running from the house. The night I spent in the snow. I saw, relived the night my mother died. The pain, the lowest I'd ever been. How much I needed them to be there, and the fear of trusting them again.

I relived Jack's return, and what that did to me.

I relived the fight. The long, miserable days I spent alone in Brazil. Developing my gift, essentially, against my will. What that did to me to see what Alice decided, and the pain of that.

Somewhere in my mind, I knew I was in trouble. Somewhere in my mind, I knew something was wrong, and I somehow understood the fact that this wasn't like all the other times of unconsciousness. This one felt heavier, harder to fight.

I relived trying so hard to learn how to be the person my family thought I was. It bothered me. I just couldn't understand it, until I stopped trying. I just was. My emotions evened out, and I started to see. To change the way I saw things, and I understood. It didn't take much effort to be a good person.

Throughout all of this, I heard three things. My struggling, shallow heartbeat, each unsteady breath, and my name called. I was cold, but I couldn't feel it. I was in so much pain, but again, I couldn't feel anything passed my neck. I tasted and smelled blood. So much blood. It was everywhere, and I didn't understand why.

I opened my eyes, and saw instantly that I was surrounded.

Soaking wet, I laid on my back on the solid rock beside the river. I could still hear the river. Close by, but no longer a threat to me. Staring up at the trees I'd wound up in the middle of, and the cloudy sky. I could feel my freezing cold, wet hair clinging to my neck and cheeks.

Carlisle and Esme on my right, Mikah on my left. All looking down at me. Both Carlisle and Mikah were soaking wet too. Their hair plastered down, and it took me a moment to realize that they were both fine. In the physical sense of the word.

The pain in Mikah's eyes as he held my hand confused me. As well as the deep, tortured pain in Carlisle and Esme's eyes. I didn't understand at first why they were so worried. I was awake. I wanted to squeeze Mikah's hand, but I couldn't move my hand, and it slowly started to dawn on me.

I was hurt worse than I'd ever been. I wasn't skating by it this time.

I wanted to speak, to assure them. To ask what happened to Aro, to wonder what we'd do when we get back home, but I couldn't mutter a word. I couldn't even whisper. There was something in my throat, and the moment I opened my mouth to try to speak, I found out what it was.

Blood, and lots of it, came pouring out. From between my lips, and down the sides of my cheeks. Pooling under my head like a river in itself. I laid my head back as I choked while trying to take a breath, and I managed just one short one before the resulting cough caused more to come out. Tearing something in my chest, and I heard the sound of it, but I didn't feel the pain.

That had never happened before.

Esme sobbed gently, and I noticed that she held my right hand in both of hers. I was amazingly still confused. Why would blood come from my mouth? Then came the fear. They knew I was going to die.

Without wasting another second, Esme looked to Carlisle and gave him a nod. He nodded right back to her, and reached out. Smoothing my hair back from my forehead. I was calm again. His sure, sad calm told me he had everything handled. I held his gaze unsteadily, holding on until the assurance came. I waited for him to say something, and that was the key.

I waited, though I felt it was time to go back to sleep.

He never said a word, but I waited.

Instead, he turned my head slightly away from him, moving my hair away, and I saw out of the corner of my eye him lean closer. I continued to wait. He had to say goodbye.

Nobody was saying goodbye, though I had seconds left before my heart stopped trying.

"Wait." I couldn't move to look at Jasper's voice further off above me, "Carlisle, are you _sure_ this is what's best?" He released my head, and I managed to turn my head to look up again. My vision was horribly unsteady.

"I tried to keep him away." Alice's voice was pained, and soon she came into sight, "Oh god." One look at me, I could see her eyes grow even more pained. She managed to fit herself in between Esme and Carlisle, seeming urgent. Like she wanted to help me somehow, but there wasn't anything that could be done. I knew that.

"I know this is what's best." Carlisle spoke to him, his voice quiet, "There isn't a lot of time for us to debate this."

"Think about the life she's had, Carlisle." Jasper told him quickly, quietly, "Do you really want to prolong her suffering?" Carlisle seemed to debate. Looking down at me again, "I'm not against it if it's truly what she wants, but I want you to be sure it's her choice. I think we at least owe her that."

Blood flowed freely from my mouth now, but I'd noticed that I could still breathe through my nose. It was hard, as if my lungs didn't want to work right, but I managed to. What did that tell me? That the blood was in my throat. Not my windpipe. Figuring that out, I pulled another, careful breath in. Carefully, stopping when I couldn't anymore. It was only half a breath, but that was better than nothing.

Only seconds had passed before Carlisle glanced to Jasper again, and looking down at me once more.

"Carlisle?" Mikah asked, and through my dizzy thoughts, I managed to hear the tone of pain-filled confusion. I realized what they were discussing.

I had seconds, maybe a minute to think it through. Did I want to keep on living? Or did I want them to let me go? Through the spiraling thoughts in my mind, I could only focus on one thing. Which it took me a moment to realize that that one thought was my answer.

After all I'd gone through, I didn't want it to end this way. Abruptly, without my life really meaning anything. I was scared, but I knew I wanted to keep living. I was one of the few that got the choice.

And I chose to live.

How would I tell him this, though? I was losing my energy the longer I laid there. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move anymore.

"Do it." It shouldn't have surprised me to hear Edward's voice back beside Jasper, "Carlisle, she's decided."

"Leandra." I was only slightly happy to hear another familiar voice. Josh, "Oh god, no."

"You're positive?" Carlisle asked, looking toward Edward.

"One hundred percent." Edward answered, and he wasn't lying.

"We'll have to do it here." He pointed out, "I'm not comfortable trying to move her right now."

"We'll keep watch." Jasper offered, "Go ahead."

Without waiting another moment, Carlisle carefully turned my head once more. I closed my eyes, knowing that if he didn't hurry this up, I wouldn't manage to stay awake anymore. Already I could feel my consciousness fading.

Startled awake again by the next sensation.

His teeth on the skin of my neck was the weirdest sensation, until I felt the pain of him biting. Piercing my skin and muscle tissue like it was nothing. Giving me the poison that would change me forever. I jerked my head, trying to move away, but he held it still. Almost pinning it down with his hand so I couldn't move.

I tried to cry out, to tell him he was hurting me, but nothing but blood came from my mouth.

Fire spread from the pierce in my neck, and again, I tried to make some sort of cry, but no sound would come out. I struggled the best I could, only my head making the effort. It was no use, however. It was also very strange to feel the fire disappear passed my collarbone, but knowing it kept going.

What fire I could feel was excruciating. The tears instantly started from my wide eyes as he turned my head his direction now, and leaned over me to the other side of my neck. He wasted no time, not giving me a chance to dread the next bite. Just biting, and staying long enough for the fire to start down the left side of my neck this time. Joining the fire on the right.

He urgently reached for my left wrist, biting me there as well. The urgency in his movements only seemed personal. Not for my sake, but for his. I didn't feel that one thankfully, as I watched him. Repeating the process with the right. I heard my heartbeat speed up, as if panicking on its own. He straightened up, and looked back down at me, looking into my eyes. I was now as wide awake as I possibly could be, wishing so badly I could make a sound.

I was finally getting what I'd wanted. Time to stop. I was being given what I'd always wanted, but it hurt so much. I tried to speak once more, but even more blood spilled heavily from my mouth. He shook his head.

"Don't try to speak." He told me, "Just stay calm. As calm as you can." It was strange to see my blood around his mouth and on his cheeks and chin from where it had spilled from my mouth, but I didn't pay much attention to that. The pain was increasing, the fire getting hotter triple fold.

He saw it in my eyes, he had to, when it got even more painful for me. Smoothing my hair back in a more comforting way now.

"Should we keep her here?" Mikah asked, looking over me to Carlisle.

"Let the venom do its job." Carlisle answered, "At least a little bit. She's too fragile to move right now." I was? For the first time, I looked down. Over my own body. The horrific scene I saw there told me how necessary it was to leave me where I was. Just one glance was enough to tell me that without this, I wouldn't make it.

My shirt had been raised over my midsection and chest. Among with the scrapes and gashes I'd gotten on the cliff side, I was hurt far worse than just that. In various spots, mostly along my left side, were indentations where my ribs should have been. The skin literally black with blood pooling under the skin, spreading out over my stomach and partially over my right side. I had broken ribs on my right side too, but not nearly as bad as on my left. Giving just a tiny indication of how bad my internal injuries really were.

The more the fire burned, the more focused I became. As if the pain were clearing my mind. Pushing death further from me, and refusing to let me go.

The frighteningly vivid sight I saw there would always be burned into my memory. I couldn't feel any pain, but the way I looked scared me. Deeply. My skin was pale, deathly pale under the blood splattered on it from where the skin had deeply torn open. Any deeper, and I'd see bone. Or where bone should have been. Blood leaked slower from those wounds though, so I must have had enough time to clot.

The skin and muscle tissue open in gashes that looked vivid under the pale illumination of the snowy clouds. It was very difficult to believe that I was looking at myself.

I must have broken my spine, which would explain why I couldn't feel anything below my neck and why I couldn't move. I was thanking my lucky stars by that point that I couldn't feel anything. That would have been excruciating. Though, at that point, I couldn't imagine anything more painful than the fire down my neck.

Fear roared through me like the fire, and I had to look back up. Panic in my eyes, tears flowing faster. Meeting Carlisle's calm expression helped, but not by much. I was terrified. I tried to calm myself as much as I could. If I let myself cry too much, I'd suffocate. I couldn't sniffle without choking.

"I know." Carlisle murmured soothingly to me, "You can be fixed. Don't move, don't speak."

I took a shallow breath, holding onto every word he told me.

"Good job." Carlisle told me, "You're doing so well, Leandra." I tried to look back down at myself, but Carlisle spoke again, "No. Keep looking at me, Leandra. Stay awake, and look at me." I looked up at him, keeping my crying and fearful gaze on his. I felt the warmth down the sides of my face, the blood that still escaped my lips with each attempted breath.

I was so scared, but having him there was just enough to keep me calm enough. I remembered clearly how against this he had been before, but now that I was older, and had had a chance to grow up, he was more intent on saving me than letting me experience death too. I knew for a fact that Carlisle had built a stronger attachment to me than he'd had a chance to with the others.

Barely knowing them when he turned them. This was different.

Carlisle and Esme had raised me. From the time I was nine years old, they raised me to be the be the person I was today, this very moment. They had gotten me this far, but now that he had to choose, Carlisle was unwilling to let me go. As painful as it was, I wasn't willing to be let go.

The others stayed. Refusing to leave us there without help this time.

And I did. The fire grew hotter, more intense, but I managed to hold Carlisle's gaze. The longer I looked up at him, blinking tears from my eyes, the more I was able to focus on breathing and calming myself down.

"I know." He told me gently, "The venom is doing its job now, and you'll feel better soon." I held onto that. Desperately clinging to each word he said. Even what he told the others. Knowing if I let go, for even a second, I'd start panicking again.

"She's dealing with it pretty well, isn't she?" Josh had had to move back further, "She's doing good, right?"

"She can't feel ninety percent of it." Edward explained, "You'll know when she can."

"Her heart is still strong." Jasper added, "That's a very good sign." I was surprised how civil they were being to him, and chose to focus on that instead of on the pain I was in. Alice eventually had to get up, freeing the space for just a short amount of time.

Emmett replaced her, having just gotten there that I knew of. Kneeling beside me. He looked like he was just as lost as Alice had been when she first saw me.

"Dammit, shorty." He told me, "Look at you." I chose not to look at myself again. I chose to hold his gaze, not even trying to stop the slow river of blood from escaping my lips. He was hurting, I could see.

"What happened?" He demanded and looked to Carlisle.

Carlisle had stayed beside me, as had Esme and Mikah. Both of the others seemed to be doing okay, even with all the blood around and on me. Carlisle sighed, and I knew he was tired. Worried, even if he knew I'd be perfectly fine once this was over.

"Aro." He replied finally, "He pushed her."

"Why didn't you grab her?" Emmett demanded, looking to Mikah.

"I tried." He said defensively.

"Mikah took Aro on first while I tried to reach her. She'd managed to stop just in time, but she was losing strength fast. The stone was falling toward her, and I had to be careful not to knock any large pieces loose. I didn't want to hit her." Carlisle explained, "When Aro got free, and came for me, Mikah tried to reach her, but she slipped." He paused for a sigh, "And she fell into the river. The water carried her, but it was the rocks in the water that did the most damage. Mikah followed her immediately, but by the time he found her, it was too late."

It was clear to me that Emmett obviously wanted someone to blame for how hurt I was.

"The best we could do was bring her out of the water, and lay her down." Carlisle concluded, "And hope none of her broken ribs would reach her heart. Everything else, but possibly one lung and her heart, is probably punctured, if not destroyed. Given the blood from her mouth, her stomach was damaged beyond repair." I didn't like hearing about this, "But the fact that she's still breathing, however shallowly she is, is promising. As is the fact that she's still conscious."

Emmett was the kind of brother that he'd do anything to keep me safe. He'd punch anyone in the face if I only gave the word. I appreciated that, but it also bothered me to know that he felt just as helpless as I did right then. Esme allowed him to take my hand from her as she kneeled closer. Removing her jacket, she laid it over me gently.

I appreciated the worst of my injuries being covered. I couldn't stand to see myself like that.

My thoughts drifted to the fight. What had happened when Aro and Carlisle fell into the river?

"She wants to know what happened to Aro." Edward translated quietly.

"He's gone." Carlisle told me, "He's not coming back."

I didn't know how to tell him I understood. My tension only increased, and I turned my head. I tried to rest. I was so worked up, so tensed, but so tired at the same time. Physically, I was in so much pain that it jumbled my thoughts. Made them race. Mentally, I was exhausted. I'd never been so tired, and just the thought of having so long yet to go made me even more tired.

"Should we stay?" Emmett asked, probably looking toward Edward. I answered him loudly in my thoughts.

"Yes." He answered for me, "She's begging for us to stay. All of us." I was so scared, but having my family around me made it somewhat tolerable. They all knew what I was going through. They understood, and now I finally understood how much it hurt. They really hadn't been bluffing when they told me it was excruciating.

I closed my eyes.

They waited with me. As it started to snow, more coats were laid over me, and still I kept my eyes on Carlisle. I appreciated them covering me, though. That way I could partially pretend I wasn't in pieces.

As the snow fell, and the sky above me lightened with dawn, I had to turn my head. I had to move somehow, otherwise I'd lose my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a breath and finally making a quiet noise. I was hurting so very much, and that small sobbing breathless whimper was the only way I could let them know. Blood escaped my mouth with that sound, but I could make the sound.

"Stay awake, Leandra." Mikah told me now, and I opened my eyes again. Looking up at him. I hadn't realized I was drifting off.

"We can move her soon." Carlisle commented quietly, "She'll let us know when it's safe." How was I supposed to know when it was safe to move me?

My heart continued strong.

Day turned back into night, and it vaguely began to register to me that I'd been burning for a full day. How slowly time passed was really beginning to grate on me. I honestly didn't know how I was supposed to survive this much longer. I was slowly beginning to lose my mind.

The second day dawned, and by then, I'd looked back up at Carlisle. He had taken Emmett's place, smoothing my hair back as he held my right hand in his. I tried to ignore the sounds I heard of my bones mending themselves, as it was the most disturbing thing I'd ever, _ever_ heard, but it meant nothing to me, until it had no choice but to.

Late into the night of day two on fire, suddenly I took a breath, and with that breath, I felt everything again. All at once, my entire body exploded in pain. A loud, sobbing and coughing cry left me, the same moment I squeezed both Carlisle and Mikah's hands in my own. As tight as I could, with every bit of strength I had in me.

Carlisle went to move, but I shook my head. I'd rather stay there. Laying beside the river, than have to be lifted and moved. Too much more contact, or movement would only increase my pain. Overwhelm me even more, and I truly could not handle that.

I managed to whimper without shouting, but that was it. That was the very last sound I could make until this pain was over.

"Don't move her." Edward instructed, much to my relief, "She's already feeling overwhelmed, and just wants to stay here."

I watched Carlisle nod, and my eyes closed. I wouldn't open them until midnight of day three.

"It's safer to be way out here when she finishes anyway." Jasper commented, "Much less of a chance of her hunting where she shouldn't."

Dawn of day three came with even colder temperatures, and I shivered now. Fiercely, violently. They knew by my trembling, and the way I held their hands that I was staying conscious. Unfortunately. They knew I would make it. They'd known the entire time that I would, but it mattered to me now.

Evening of day three, I could writhe. The pain had increased yet again, my heart beating faster. Harder. I could feel it, every movement. It was easily comparable to diving head first into a pool of lava. Not that I would know what that felt like, but it was the only thing I could think of. Burning alive. This was far worse than anything I'd ever felt before. Nothing in the world could compare to this pain.

My heart beating faster should have been an indication that I was nearly done. Nobody said a word now, though. I felt their eyes on me, and I knew they heard every single beat of my heart. Even the half beats, as my heart weakened. If I could hear it, they could. It was loud. Almost deafening.

Each breath I took felt like breathing glass. It burned, felt like it was tearing. My blood stopped coming from my mouth, and at some point, I felt my face and neck being cleaned with icy river water. I chose not to focus on that, though. The feeling of it threatened to take my control, so I just laid there. Tensed, and barely bearing it.

My shivers stopped sometime after evening started, my feet digging into the soil under me. Kicking, searching for some sort of stability like I had two and a half days ago.

I panted like I'd been running a mile a minute. Searching for a breath that would never be enough. Breathing deeply through tightly clenched teeth, biting back the screams of intense pain I was in. Gasping, panting for breath. Squeezing my eyes shut tighter, begging wordlessly for this pain to end.

Faster my heart beat, and I finally stopped breathing. I didn't even notice I'd stopped, taking a deep breath, and holding it. If I were to let out that breath, it would be in a scream. I didn't want to do that, so I kept it. Despite how quickly my heart beat, I didn't need to let it out.

I arched and I writhed. Aching, desperately hurting, I was convinced it'd never end. I knew I was being tormented to death. The sounds of my heart, and of my family's careful, calmly calculated breaths were loud to me, echoing in my mind now.

The pain, the fear and the sounds all around me all seemed to get louder and harder to bear. All at once, I couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. I felt Mikah remove his hand, which I appreciated.

"Ow." I heard him mutter, a quiet laugh in his tone.

As soon as my hand was free, I lowered it, grabbing a fistful of soil beside me. My other hand was released as well, and I did the same thing with that one. Arching, hating how tense I suddenly was. More tense than I'd ever been in my life.

It hurt so much. So much, and it hurt for so long. I felt it everywhere, the fire. I felt it in every single fiber of my being.

It wasn't stopping. It wasn't ending like Carlisle said it would. It was getting hotter, more and more painful. Making my head spin with its intensity. Louder, faster my heart beat.

It wasn't stopping. My fists clenched harder at the dirt, the heels of my shoes dug further. Nobody said anything. My eyes stayed closed, my teeth clenched tightly now. Hotter still.

It wasn't stopping.

Then, it did.

All at once, without my even noticing it, everything stopped. My trembling, my pain, my movement. My heart finally gave up. I felt it, physically, as it stopped. Waves of relief crashed through me in the crescendo after the silence. Everything was still, including me now. I laid there, not knowing what to do now. Expecting to be dead was a natural anticipation.

My body no longer fought to be alive, as my heart had stopped. Everything had stopped, but somehow, very disorientingly, I was still conscious. I was still aware of everything around me. More so now than I had ever been before. I should have been dead, but I was still very much alive.

Nobody moved, least of all me. Until I opened my eyes.

All of it, from the moment I met them to this moment was bringing me closer to this outcome. I'd anticipated it practically my whole life, but there was absolutely no amount of anticipation that could have prepared me for this.

There was no blurry sight like there should have been at first with how tightly my eyes had been squeezed closed. I saw everything clearly. Crystal clearly.

I let out the final, live breath I'd been holding for what felt like hours now, and replaced it, bringing in so much more than I would have before. I tasted things as I smelled them, understanding the scents much deeper than I would have before. The three closest scents comforted me, telling me I had no reason to be afraid.

I tasted the dirt, the earth. The trees around me and water at my feet. I even tasted the snow, and the fabric that laid over me, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was odd. Weird to me, but it wasn't bad.

"Breathe again, Leandra." Carlisle instructed quietly, and my eyes moved to him. I did as he said, realizing now that I could choose which scent I focused on. It registered differently to me than it had before, and I learned this quickly. Carlisle's scent was something that didn't seem too unfamiliar to me. Esme's also.

"When you move," Carlisle murmured, "It's going to be disorienting at first, but you'll get the hang of it." Gee, disorienting would be horrible, I thought sarcastically, "Focus on moving, and you'll have complete control of yourself." I did as he said, sitting up. It was still faster than what I was used to, and much easier. The coats that had managed to stay on through my writhing fell off of me.

Their eyes followed me, watching me as I looked around.

I took another breath, slowly but deeply, and caught the scents further off in the trees. I knew instantly the distance between me, and the sources of blood two and a half miles from me. Before I was even fully on my feet, a growl built in my chest. I had to have it.

They didn't try to stop me, but stood up and watched after me as I suddenly tore off. There was no time to adjust, no choice between sitting there, and running off.

It was instant. The scent of blood stole my focus, and there was no denying it. I had absolutely zero control over it. I took it in, and that was it. It took my instincts, and my self control like it had owned those things the entire time.

I naturally chose the biggest deer there, and took it down in a violent fury of bloodlust. It never saw me coming. I didn't hesitate, violently biting the neck of the deer still fighting in my hands. Where I would have been repulsed before, there was no hesitation now. I needed the blood too much.

Before they could all run, I reached out and caught a second while the first kicked feebly in my teeth. Snapping the second's neck and swinging it to the ground with a heavy thud to wait for me to finish draining the first.

I knew the moment they all caught up to me.

I felt it, heard it, smelled it as a deep, threatening growl seemed to come from my toes. Without even looking at them, my mouth full of blood once again, I still managed to make the sound until they stepped back. Giving me enough space to be comfortable. I didn't even have to look at them to know Emmett and Jasper remained further forward than the others.

I didn't appreciate being watched, but as long as they kept their distance, I was fine.

"Finally." Emmett was amused, "A newborn." My eyes went to him, and his smirk widened. I chose to ignore him after that.

I repeated the movements when I found the second herd of deer. First tackling one, and grabbing a second before I even landed with the first. They watched that one, and I growled louder at Mikah's chuckle. He went silent immediately.

Only minutes had passed since I'd first opened my eyes.

I couldn't take in any more blood, so I kneeled there. Trying to get ahold of myself again. The blood, this time, resting comfortably in my stomach. I waited, feeling my control returning almost like a physical sensation.

While doing so, I also took inventory of myself. Physically, I was fine. I clearly felt how much stronger I was now, and I also felt the instinct to use it. That was a battle in itself. Not running off to find a challenge. Instead, I focused on the way I crouched above the long-dead deer. The position would have grown uncomfortable before, but now it seemed natural.

I chose to stand. Sure I could do so without losing it again. Slowly, I turned. Looking to them. It suddenly occurred to me that I had yet to speak to them. My first noise being a growl.

"Sorry." I murmured, and they smiled.

"That's perfectly alright." Carlisle assured me, and I smiled a little, "You did very well for your first hunt."

"It's not like it was particularly hard." I replied quietly, and again, they smirked.

Finally, I looked straight at everyone else. Not having done so yet. I took in their scent, and smiled a little more.

"Hi there, princess." Mikah said, returning my smile. His easy tone comforted me, assured me that I was alright, but there was always this underlying defensive sense that I hadn't noticed before. Like it was waiting.

"Are you ready to go home?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.

"More than ready." I replied, "I think I need new clothes."

"Understatement." Mikah said, and I looked down at them. Caked and stained horribly with my own blood. Torn and letting my skin show through. Painting a terrifying picture of how mortally wounded I had been before. I frowned, looking back up. This bothered me. A lot.

I was perfectly fine now. Better than fine, but it still bothered me deeply to know how bad it was before. It bothered me to know how completely fragile and vulnerable I had been before.

"Why is he still here?" I asked, my gaze landing on Josh behind the others.

"I'm not going back there." He spoke up, shaking his head.

"He's been a big help, Leandra." Alice told me, "I'm not worried about it."

The run home was uneventful. Naturally, I had to be herded, but that was more for my safety than anything. I was just grateful I didn't have to be carried anymore.

When it was hard to focus at the speed we'd gone before, now it seemed perfectly normal to me.

I slid to an abrupt stop before we neared the house, startling the others. Something was warning me. I listened to my nose, my instinct, and stopped advancing.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, concerned.

"I don't like it." I replied quietly, tensing against my will. I didn't want to keep going, nervous about what was ahead. I didn't understand this scent, but it made me anxious.

"She smells the wolves." Edward translated how I felt, thankfully. I understood now. Despite understanding, though, it didn't sit right with me. Their scent bothered me, hurting my nose. Overwhelming me uncomfortably.

"It's okay, Leandra." Jasper told me, "They're protecting the house."

"I really don't know." I knew they knew what they were talking about, but I couldn't make myself be okay with it. I wasn't about to test it. A sense of self-defense wouldn't allow me to test it.

"Maybe we should have Jake and Sam meet her first." Edward suggested, "Just so she can see that she knows them. It might calm her down, because without that, we're not getting her any further."

"It's no wonder." Esme agreed, "She's brand new. That many scents would bother any of us."

"Keep her here." Carlisle told them, and I watched him leave with Edward in tow. We stood in tense silence for several minutes. Until Edward and Carlisle returned.

I took one look at the two wolves, taking an uncertain step back.

I wasn't sure what did it. Sam took one more step, sniffing my direction right as Jacob turned to face Carlisle. Given the way I reacted, I'd say it was Jacob that pushed me too far. Just like the scent of blood, the instinct to defend was instant. I couldn't control it.

I leapt ahead, fitting myself between where Carlisle and Edward stood, and where Jacob stood facing them. I'd never heard a sound like the growl that came from me before. It was low, quiet even as I faced Jacob, crouching.

Jacob took two slow steps back, which was exactly the right move. I would have torn him apart without a second thought. Sam came to his side, grumbling a quiet growl.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke before I could take offense to that growl, "You're alright."

I said nothing in response. My eyes trained squarely on the two wolves in front of me.

"It's not her she's worried about." Edward told him, "It's us."

"You mean we have our own guard-newborn?" Emmett chuckled, "Awesome!"

"This isn't funny." Alice growled his direction. Jacob's ears flattened, just a hint of his teeth baring at me only increased my defense. He didn't like my reaction, but I disliked his even more.

"No it's not." Edward agreed with her, "Jacob, I promise she's fine."

"What's wrong?" Esme asked him, coming to Carlisle's side.

"He's worried for Ness' safety." Edward explained, "He's worried that Leandra won't be able to control herself. He's worried that she's too wild."

"Return to the house." Carlisle instructed Jacob quietly, calmly, "If you prefer, have her moved to the reservation. We'll keep her here while you move her."

With something of a nod, Jacob turned slowly. Leaving us at a fast paced trot. Sam followed slower, giving Jake a headstart before leaving himself. Snorting. I glared after both of them, slowly rising to my feet. With the immediate threat gone, I could control myself again.

"That was odd." Esme murmured, "Normally, when it comes to defending like that, newborns don't hesitate in attacking."

"She was outnumbered." Jasper pointed out, "That made her hesitate just enough. If either of them had pushed her by coming any closer, though, she would have."

"I should have insisted they come in their human forms." Carlisle sighed, "It's alright, Leandra. We were never in any danger."

"This is hard." I finally spoke, "It's like I have no control over what I do."

"You'll learn." Esme assured me, "It takes practice."

"And how can I possibly want more blood?" I asked, "I _just_ hunted."

That seemed to amuse them.

"That never goes away, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "You'd better get used to it." I frowned, not liking that thought. I'd suffer like this forever?

"It gets easier to bear." Carlisle explained, reading my expression of unhappiness, "Eventually, you'll learn how to keep track of it without even noticing it."

I'd stopped listening to what he said, however. Something much further off in the distance caught my immediate attention. A sound. I could hear it as clearly as if it were right next to me.

The unmistakable sound of a baby's cry.

Something in me clicked, and I understood. That was Isaiah. Something more important than blood, or hunting. Or even defending myself. That was my son, and he was unhappy.

I had to find him.

**A/N: So, as you've probably guessed, I couldn't just leave it here. I hadn't anticipated everything taking this much space.  
So yes. There is going to be one, possibly two more chapters. Depending on what eleven turns out to be. At this point, it'd be really hard to effectively estimate it.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers who've left me WONDERFUL reviews thus far. Ahhh! I'm so happy lol  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and look forward to reading your thoughts on how I put this together. (:  
Until eleven, my friends. (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Leandra." Esme spoke now, trying to gain my attention, but I was already off.

I was running, and the clear sound of being followed made me push faster with a growl. Through the trees, straight in the direction of the sound.

I was coming up on the sound quickly, and managed to stop Jacob in his four-pawed tracks. He was surprised at first, until he became protective.

I faced him once more, this time I wasn't playing around.

With Ness on his back, Jacob wasn't playing around either, but it wasn't her I wanted. It was the baby in her arms.

From day one, it had always been about my son. While I was human, there wasn't anything I wasn't willing to do for him, and that applied a thousand fold now. I knew his cries from a mile away, and I knew when he was distressed. He wasn't just pissed off. He wasn't sad. He was scared, and automatically, I blamed Jacob.

"Jacob, stop." Edward and the others slid to a stop off to the side, "She doesn't want to hurt Ness. She wants Isaiah." And I would kill anyone who stood in my way. Without a second thought.

I tensed, glancing around when Jacob was suddenly not alone. Five other wolves came to either side of him, which only made things worse. Isaiah was mine, and they were keeping him from me. I took a step, countered by two wolves. One of them seemed too edgy, and I looked to him next.

"Jasper." Edward murmured, and almost immediately, the wolves' growls quieted, but I wasn't calming down. I was only getting more worked up the longer they tried to keep me from Isaiah.

"Leandra, calm down." Carlisle's firm voice told me I wasn't doing well. I wasn't scared, though. I was pissed. Unspeakably pissed, and I wanted my son. I took another step, and this time one reacted. Leaping at me.

Moving right at the last second, he missed me by only a bit. Another leapt at me, and I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and his tail, throwing him into the other right as he was attempting to fix his mistake.

"Okay, guys." Emmett and Jasper were suddenly beside me, "Cool it."

"She only wants Isaiah." Edward repeated, "I think it's okay to give him to her. She'll be okay." The growling resumed, but Ness spoke up before it could get any worse.

"Okay, Leandra." Ness' calm voice had me look to her, watching as she slid off of Jacob's back. I eased ever-so-slightly, knowing she was giving in. Jacob tried to stop her by placing a paw in her path, but she gave him a look. Stepping around it.

Slowly, she stepped forward. Not too quickly, but I watched her closely. The baby's cries only triggered more of an instinct to defend, and my resolve was solid. Either she handed me my son, or she'd face the consequences.

"Just be careful." She told me, "He's been upset for over a week now." Much bigger than I remembered him being, he squirmed in her arms. Crying his heart out. She didn't need to tell me to be careful. Handling him gently was an instinct to me.

She came to a stop right in front of me. My gaze on hers, nobody spoke. She offered him to me, and I lifted him from her easily.

Instantly, I was calm. The moment I cradled him to me, I turned. Forgetting Ness, forgetting the wolves, I slowly paced toward my family. Isaiah squinted his eyes open, seeing it was me, and his cries quieted to whimpers.

"I'm here." Was all I had to say, and he went silent. Making quiet noises up at me, I had to smile. I looked down at him, each breath, each movement carefully calculated when it came to him.

Isaiah was my purpose. If they thought I wouldn't do everything in my power to protect him, they were insane. Even more so now.

He'd been upset before, and now that he was calming down, so was I. I took in his scent carefully, knowing the slight burn in my throat was caused by his human half, but it was easily ignorable. Not only because of his vampire half, but because it was an instinct. I knew he was mine. I made him, and I'd vowed to always protect him. That still mattered now more than ever.

I searched him over, looking for any place he might be hurt. His slightly too large pajamas hid a lot of him, but where I could see, he was fine. That definitely helped me calm down even more. Obviously not appreciating being on his back, he squirmed a little.

I glanced back at the still nervous wolves.

"I'm sorry." I had to say, giving a brief glance to Carlisle, "I know you're helping us. I guess I'm just protective of him. I don't want to hurt anyone."

The wolves were quiet now, and since I hadn't seriously hurt the two who stupidly reacted, they let it drop. I watched as the two shook out their fur, probably aching, but fine. Ness gave me a little smile beside Jacob.

I was far more manageable now, and could easily be led back home.

Now that Isaiah was with me, I was protective, but I wasn't defensive. I never understood the difference between those two emotions before. Defensive meaning I was outright defending myself or the ones I cared about. Protective meant I was able to concentrate, but would move to defensive in a split second.

The wolves followed, since Ness followed. Probably not wanting to be far from her family either. Not after being seperated for awhile. I couldn't blame her.

It was a strange thing to me. The longer I was alive this way, slowly, my rationality was returning. I went from straight instinct, to learning how to think. It was overwhelming, but it was getting slightly easier.

We made it inside, and I glanced around. My instincts telling me I was safe in here. Given how few wolf scents were inside the house, mostly my family's, I eased even more. In my arms, Isaiah yawned.

"He's cried non-stop since you left." Ness followed us inside, "He's hardly eaten. Barely slept. Silence, in this case, really is golden, Leandra."

"He knew I would come back." I said quietly, "He was upset that it wasn't happening." It certainly explained his behavior.

He had really grown in the week or so I was gone. Looking closer to six or seven months now, his hair was longer. Eyes brighter than I remembered them being. Even as he closed his eyes, I continued to hold him. He wasn't asleep, though. Just resting. I found it easy to control my movements around him. Instant self control the moment I held him.

"That's amazing." Jasper commented, "There has to be a pattern."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up.

"Between Bella and Renesmee, and you and Isaiah." He clarified, "Both of you tamed significantly the moment you saw your child. It's odd to see."

"I'm anything but tame." I told him, "But it's.." I paused, searching for the words, "It's more like an instinct. You know how it goes, with the defensive instinct, and the instinct to hunt." He nodded, understanding, "This is one too." I nodded toward Isaiah, "It just happens. Bella wound up having great self control. I don't think I'll wind up the same way. But when it comes to Isaiah, I know not to use too much force, or move too quickly. There's no way to not know."

Josh had been quiet through the entire situation, and I looked to him now behind everyone else. Between Mikah and Emmett. He seemed unsure. Glancing to them.

"Come here." I demanded, and he seemed nervous now. I watched him step forward, slowly crossing the room to me. He came to stand in front of me, and I looked up at him. He was quiet, waiting, "Is he the reason why you needed to help?"

I had to know.

"Part of the reason." He answered truthfully.

"What's the rest of it?"

He sighed, looking down. I didn't know what made me demand these answers now, but I didn't want to go any further without knowing. I was fully aware that he'd helped us, but I didn't trust him.

"That day." I said, "You came in."

"I know I did." He replied, "I could have gotten into a lot of trouble for doing that." I narrowed my eyes a little, "You were strictly off limits. To anyone, but Aro. I'm sure you know why."

"I was being isolated." I answered, "I know why." I found I could clearly hear the others' growls now, instead of a hint of them. They didn't like the thought as much as I hated the memory. However foggy it was now.

"Exactly." Josh replied, "Leandra, I broke a major rule by going in there, but I had to see you. To give you some sort of hope in that hellhole."

"Why?" I demanded now, "What was in it for you?"

"I might have helped Aro, but that was before." He said, "I never wanted to actually hurt you, Leandra." He sighed, seeing I needed more of an explanation, "When he told me what I had to do, I wasn't worried about it. You know? Because he said you'd be okay."

"So you didn't think." I said, my tone a quiet sort of sharp, "That's your excuse?"

"I- Uh.." He went quiet, not sure what to say.

His eyes went to Isaiah in my arms, and I couldn't help growling. Bringing his attention back to me, he laughed nervously.

"Your discussion is with me." I reminded him, "I'd prefer to be listened to."

I was perfectly aware when Esme stepped forward slowly. Coming to my side. I turned slightly, letting her take Isaiah from me. I trusted her completely, and now that I knew he was safe with her, I could threaten Josh. Which I'd been honestly wanting to do since I figured out he'd been in on it.

Aro had fooled him to a point as well, but that didn't change the fact that he willingly hid the agenda from me.

"You didn't think to tell me what he was planning?" I asked, "Didn't you think I'd need to know something like that?"

"You'd say no." He replied.

"No shit!"

"Just, wait a second." He said quietly, "I didn't mean it like that."

"I just want to know what the fuck was going through your mind when you thought it was a good idea to listen to Aro."

"I didn't know a thing about the guy, except that he was there when I woke up, okay?" He asked, "I didn't know anything about any of this." He gestured around him, "I had no idea any of it existed until I was one."

"That's beside the point." I said, "You didn't need to know a thing about Aro to know that what he was telling you to do was wrong."

"All he told me to do, was to get closer to you." He said, and that surprised me enough to listen, "That's it. He didn't _tell_ me to do anything, but give you someone to be close with, because he worried that when you got there, you'd feel alone. I didn't _know_ that sort of thing was on his mind. I didn't _know_ he wanted a baby, otherwise I would have told him to shove it."

I sighed, glancing to Edward. He sighed as well, giving me a nod.

"I was trained, it's true." He admitted, "But that was only to keep me from killing you the second I smelled you that close."

"That's my biggest problem, Josh." I said, "You never told me."

"I didn't see a reason to." His tone was getting more irritated, "My luck, you'd just get freaked out, and tell me to go take a hike."

"And what about what happened that night?"

"That was just an added plus." He responded, clearly without thinking.

Without waiting for him to see it coming, I hauled off and punched him in the face. He was fine, given the way he moved once he fell back. Hitting the floor between the couch and the coffee table, but moving back instantly.

"You son-of-a-bitch." I growled, watching him, "Think just because you want to help now, it makes everything okay? Do you have any idea what you did?"

"J-Just wait-" I pounced at him, and he moved. Chasing him around the room, him just barely managing to stay out of my reach. I pushed faster, grabbed his arm and spun. Throwing him into the wall easily. The dent in the wall behind him surprised me. I was shocked he didn't actually go through it.

"Leandra." Esme spoke quietly, "If you're going to beat him, maybe you should take it outside-"

"I don't like being used!" My voice was dangerous, my tone dripping with threats. I watched him push himself up.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I didn't mean for it to seem like that!" I didn't like his tone.

"You have no reason to be mad at me!" I couldn't help noticing how nobody attempted to stop me, how Esme moved away from us across the room with Isaiah, and I distinctly heard the sound of Emmett's chuckle.

"I won't kill you, because believe it or not, I am grateful for your help, but that doesn't mean I have to like you." Josh was the one best equipped to handle me, given the way his crimson eyes met mine.

He stood up, his expression hardening.

"What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You really think it's that easy?" I countered, "Seriously?" I heard the door open behind me, and I knew they were just preparing to usher us outside.

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Do I?" I growled, "Do I really?"

Cooperating with the family's efforts to preserve their house, Josh stepped around me. I went to grab him again, but he ducked. Just missing my grab, and running out the door.

He only made it to the first step of the porch until I was suddenly tackling him. We rolled, landing in the gravel. I pinned him on his back with a growl, slapping him.

He rolled us over until I was pinned under him. He pinned my hands, sitting on my hips.

"Wrong move." I heard on the porch.

"Stupid move." Someone else corrected.

Easily, too easily now, I bucked him off. Grabbing onto his arm again, I swung him up, and slammed him onto his back on the ground.

He laid there for a minute in his own crater.

I couldn't help but be reminded of how well we knew each other. Practically growing up together. I was barely seventeen when I was turned. He had been fifteen, but he'd always been mature for his age. Taller, more built than most kids his age. Even when we were kids.

I'd gone to Josh for everything. He'd been there for me. Just because he was stupid, and decided not to tell me anything about Aro's plan didn't erase that.

"Stay down, bro." Emmett called, "Play dead."

Watching him laying there, looking up at me softened my rage just enough.

I paced around him until I could kneel beside him. Reaching out, I grabbed onto his neck, pulling him into a sitting position. I kneeled closer, my eyes narrowed in unhappiness.

"Leandra." Esme called, worried I was about to hurt him. He seemed worried himself.

Instead, though, I kissed him.

"If you ever do anything like that again, I promise you'll regret it." I told him quietly, and he pressed his forehead against mine, "I still hate you." I allowed him to keep the contact, closing my eyes.

"I know." I felt him smile.

"I'm still mad at you." I told him.

"I know." He replied, his smile fading.

"I missed you." He was quiet at that confession, nobody around us saying a word. My eyes stayed closed, our foreheads stayed together. This had to be a lot easier for him, now that I wasn't so fragile. Our skin was the same temperature now, so instead of his skin feeling like ice to me, it felt like mine. Warm even.

"I love you." He told me, and it was my turn to stay quiet. Nobody moved, waiting on my reaction. I knew why they'd be nervous, but it wasn't just a random confession. Had he told me that when I'd still been angry at him, I wouldn't have taken it so well.

The moment was almost too sweet, and for the first time, I began to understand that an immortal's emotions went both ways. Where it was so very easy to lose my temper, now it was just as easy to nearly lose myself in love as well.

I didn't have to deny anymore what I felt. I didn't have to try to make sense of it. It just was. In a way, the extra emotion, the overwhelming way I loved him, was so much easier now than when I was human. Now instead of scaring me, I accepted it.

"I love you too." I finally whispered in return. Those words had never been more true.

Our human ages never mattered to me. Our pasts no longer matter. Where we'd come from, or who we used to be. It didn't matter that he was the nephew of my stepfather. He was just Josh. Just Josh, and I was just me. More compatable now than we'd ever been before.

Human, he was almost too old for me. Then, he was turned. Which allowed me to get older, and mature enough to love him like I did. I caught up to him maturity wise, and now, we were together. Finally on the same page, and all that mattered to me was that he was there, and I was with him.

My attention was taken by Isaiah's noises up on the porch, and abruptly, the moment was gone. I shoved Josh away from me, and he fell back down into a laying position on the ground. He laughed, watching me stand. I stepped over him, and moved back to Esme's side.

Esme gave me a look, sighing. Probably due to the hole in the wall inside now. I gave her an apologetic look in return, lifting Isaiah from her.

"You got lucky." Emmett was saying to Josh as he climbed up the steps behind me, "She could have killed you, and I can't say you wouldn't have deserved it."

I led the way back inside, Isaiah now sitting up in my arms. Something he hadn't been able to do the last time I saw him. My hand still supported his back, though, because he seemed intent on his balance. He could look around now, which was also new. Moving his head from side to side.

"He's doing well?" I asked, looking to Ness. She smiled.

"He's doing great." She said, giving me a nod, "Aside from missing you, of course. He's fine now, though. Look at him." He was just fine. Not a hint of unhappiness anywhere in his expression. As he looked around at how populated the living room had become. Bright blue eyes wide.

"He has gotten cuter." Alice pointed out, unable to help smiling. I'd almost forgotten. They hadn't seen him for about as long as I hadn't. I allowed her to lift him from me, and since I stayed right where he could look at me, this reunion went well. Alice had him grinning in no time. I had a feeling they would be fast friends, especially given how closely related their gifts were.

I watched as Jasper, beside Alice, even took an interest in him. Taking Isaiah's tiny hand in his fingers. Isaiah turned his eyes to Jasper, beginning to 'talk' to him. I watched closely, unable to keep myself from watching him. Josh felt brave enough to cross the room to my side. Moving, he'd taken Isaiah's attention.

The instant pout on my son's face as he recognized Josh was funny enough without the quiet growl I heard from him.

"I'm probably going to have to teach him not to bite you again." I laughed along with the others, looking to Josh.

"He's pretty protective of you, Leandra." Jasper pointed out, and I had no doubts Jasper could sense it with his gift. Now that I understood how heavy of an emotion protection was.

After a moment, however, Jasper's smile faded. His eyes on Isaiah, as shock crossed his features. He looked straight to me, but Isaiah's eyes stayed on him.

"What?" I asked, not liking the sudden change.

"My gift." He said, "It's gone." I frowned deeply, confused.

"Gone?" I asked, sudden worry piercing through me, "What do you mean, gone?"

"Gone." He repeated, "I don't have it anymore." I strode across the room toward the door, worriedly opening the door.

"Someone smell outside." I said, "Is anyone here that isn't supposed to be?"

"Jacob wouldn't let anybody through." Esme replied easily, "Not without some kind of warning."

"And I would know." Alice added, shaking her head.

"So there are no guard members outside?" I had to be sure, "Because there's only one I know of that can block other's gifts." I paused, looking to Isaiah at his rather loud giggle, watching as he clasped his hands by his mouth. Something had him really pleased. I couldn't help smiling in return at the sound of it. My worry easing significantly.

"I'm positive, Leandra." Esme answered, "There's no one out there."

"Then where did Jasper's gift go?" I asked, confused.

"I can tell you exactly where it went." Edward spoke up finally, and we all looked to him, "Alice is holding the one with it now." It took a moment before I understood.

"Wait." I mumbled, shocked deeply, "You mean.." I trailed off. Edward nodded, smiling a little.

"He takes gifts?" Alice asked, catching on as well.

"I certainly hope he can give them back." Jasper commented, worry in his tone.

"How did he take it?" Carlisle asked, frowning.

"The only thing I can think of is by taking his hand." Jasper replied, his eyes on Isaiah again, "Let's see." He gently took his hand again, and Isaiah continued grinning at him. The room was silent, watching.

"Isaiah," Jasper spoke to him after a minute, gaining a giggle from him, "May I have my ability back, please?"

I knew the moment something changed again, as Jasper smiled.

"Thank you." Jasper told him, releasing his hand.

"So, hold on." I murmured, "I wonder. Do you think that's how he got my gift?"

"Only one way to find out." Alice replied, and I stepped forward. I had to ask myself. Did I even truly want it back? Standing beside Jasper, facing Isaiah, I gently took his hand in my fingers, smiling a little as he wrapped his hand around them.

He looked to me, seeming confused. Instead of being highly entertained, it seemed as if he couldn't understand. Babbling quietly, he squeezed my fingers tighter.

"He knew you didn't want it." Edward told me, "He doesn't want to give yours back."

"What I don't understand, is how he took it." I mumbled, glancing back to Edward, "I held his hand so often."

"The only thing I can think of, is you two were passing it back and forth, until the final time you took his hand. Taking your gift before you left or even directly noticed it missing." He replied, "Because he didn't have control over it before. Now he does. He can choose to take it, or leave it alone."

"How did he not take anyone else's gift?" I asked, curious.

"If I recall correctly," Carlisle answered, "The only ones who ever took his hand for extended periods of time, were the ones with no specific gift. Rosalie, or Esme."

"I never really did." Ness offered, "And even then, I wouldn't have really noticed it missing, because I never tried to use it." That made sense.

I looked to Isaiah again, waiting. Would I know when I had it back?

"It's okay." I murmured to him, "I think I can handle it now. What do you think?" He yawned, and I could see he was getting tired.

I began to doubt. Maybe that gift was his own now. Inherited from me, really the only useful thing I could give him before.

"Can I have it, Isaiah?" I had to try one more time, "Or do you want to keep it?"

Then I felt it. The sudden rush of understanding, suddenly sure of where I was. It comforted me in a way I never thought possible, to have my gift back. To know everything I should know. I had to smile, and he smiled right back at me.

I knew the next time he took it, I would know. Having it being given back, I knew immediately that I was now far more prepared to handle it.

"Thank you, my boy." I murmured, "You're so smart."

He sighed. Reaching for me, I had to respond by lifting him from Alice. She released him willingly. I sat him in my arms, and at first, he reached up. Touching my face with both of his hands, I knew he was trying to tell me that he remembered me. I already knew that, but he wasn't sure if I knew.

Next, he focused on my shirt. Looking up curiously, his hands pointing out a particularly large splatter of blood on my shirt by patting it, making a questioning sound.

"Oh yeah." I suddenly remembered, "You're right. How could I forget?"

I held Isaiah out to Alice again, letting her take him from me. Immediately, however, he began to cry. I knew I'd only pissed him off, but I hesitated. I didn't want to leave the room.

"Go ahead." Alice told me, "He'll be fine. Take a shower while you're at it. I know you'll feel better once you're clean."

I nodded in agreement, reluctantly leaving the room. Once I was out of the shower, nobody could make me leave Isaiah again.

I stepped into the bathroom, my clean clothes balled under my arm. I tried to ignore both Emmett and Mikah in the living room trying to talk Josh out of something.

"I wouldn't, Josh." Mikah warned, and I knew what it was he was telling him not to do.

"Really." Emmett agreed with Mikah, "Give her time." I really wished he wouldn't do it, because not only did I not trust my emotions right then, but being turned made me relive every painful experience I'd ever had. Involuntarily, as I desperately searched for a comparison.

I had a _lot_ of painful experiences in my life.

I didn't blame Josh for any of them, but that wasn't the point. The point was, he was going to try something stupid, and I worried I might hurt him. I didn't want to do that, but if he pressured me in any way, I couldn't be held responsible for the result.

Being reminded of every past painful experience like that only made me harder to handle. I knew that, and my family knew that. If he was going to make any progress with me, it would be only by letting me come to him. Not the other way around.

I smelled his scent, knowing he was going to try it. Closing my eyes, I shook my head a little as I turned on the water.

My back to the door, I growled quietly, listening to him hesitating outside of it.

I ignored the door opening, pulling my shirt off without hesitation. I needed out of these clothes sooner rather than later.

However, the second I felt his hands on my bare shoulders, I growled and spun. Pushing him back, across the room, he landed against the door.

"Out, Josh." I told him, watching as he righted himself.

"Leandra." He sighed, "You know I wouldn't hurt you."

"I don't care." I replied, "Don't push this right now."

"Alright." He said, his hands in the air, "Just let me stay." I narrowed my eyes. He looked down, "I've missed you."

He'd already seen me naked, so I wasn't exactly shy now. In fact, given the way my reflection looked to me, I had absolutely nothing left to be self-conscious about. Flawless skin every inch of skin I could see, I looked better than I ever had.

"Fine." I said, "But you stay over there." I didn't even wait for him to agree, knowing he would. As long as I didn't throw him through the door, he was happy.

He was quiet as I went about my business, closing the shower curtain behind me.

True to his unspoken agreement, he stayed across the room. It was a definite start.

"Leandra, I really am sorry." He said, and I sighed, "You know me."

"I don't know when I can trust you again, Josh." I replied, "Nobody just stays the same after they've been turned. I understand that better than anyone now."

"I've had time." He said, "I was like you at first. Defensive and afraid, trust me. I get that, but the more I was worked with, trained to tolerate humans, I remembered a lot about how I used to be. You'll get to be that way too."

I didn't know what to say to that. My biggest problem right then, that very moment, was the fact that I knew he was being truthful with me. With my gift back, it was harder and harder to deny that.

"I miss you, Leandra." He continued, "Your personality is just too strong to lose completely."

I stayed quiet, letting the hot water fall over me.

"How close we used to be," He spoke quietly now, "It can still be that way. Nothing has to change. I can definitely see why you're so afraid to try, because I was such an asshole for not being completely truthful, but I'm trying now. I want to try again."

Him being this honest with me was confusing, and I was uncomfortably torn. Between what I was so sure of before, and what my gift was telling me now.

"I did what I said I was going to do, right?" He asked, hopeful, "I made it right."

"Carlisle and Esme made it right." I countered quietly.

"Who do you think it was to convince Aro to bring them in, instead of killing them instantly the moment he stole the information from them?" He asked, "You know Aro better than that. Did that seem like something he would do?" He had a major point there. I couldn't deny that, "I needed him to let them in. I needed to be there in that room with them, just so I could do exactly what I did."

"Aidan was there." I pointed out, my voice soft, losing a lot of its defensive edge.

"He made it too." He answered, "He's out there somewhere, choosing to run off on his own."

"That must have been so hard." I sighed, "I know how much it meant to him to follow orders."

"He didn't agree, either." Josh sighed, and I listened to him step forward, "It was wrong, what Aro was planning, and we both knew it. That's the only way he even considered going against Aro."

His talking to me was easing me quite a bit.

"Leandra, I know I've been an ass, but even I have limits." He slowly pulled the curtain back, "I have to admit, though. If it weren't for Aro deciding to try what he tried, I might never have seen just how wrong I was." I met his eyes, and I knew he saw my hesitant resignation in mine, "You know how much I love you. Immortality can't take that."

Fully clothed, he climbed into the shower with me. Pulling the curtain closed behind himself, he slowly stepped in front of me.

"Immortality changes a lot of things, Leandra, but it can't change how I feel, or how I've always felt about you." He murmured, "It can't change our past, or how much we've gone through together. It can't change our history, or our memories. It can't take how strong you are, and it can't take your beauty."

"Josh," I mumbled, "You don't have to flatter me."

"I'm only being honest." He replied simply, "I'm not trying to flatter you. Only tell you the truth." He chuckled a little, "Do you remember when we first met? Outside my house, with Andrew. You all bruised up from that fight? You hated me."

"I remember." I mumbled, smiling a little.

"I thought I was going to pass out." He laughed quietly, "You were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen."

"Now you're trying to flatter me."

"Just being truthful." He denied, smiling, "From the moment I saw you, I tried everything I could think of to get you to notice me."

I laughed a little, rolling my eyes and turning around. My back to him now.

"And it worked, didn't it?" He asked, "I knew you had a crush."

"I did." I agreed nonchalantly, "But I was _so_ stupid back then." My smile faded.

"Why were you stupid?" He asked, "You couldn't help it."

"Because I thought everyone back then was harmless." He was quiet now. Waiting for me to speak again, "Josh, I tried. I tried so hard to keep from blaming you or Zack for Jack's mistakes, and for awhile I was able to. Then Zack proved me wrong. He showed me just how wrong I could be."

"I'm not like that." He reminded me.

"I don't know that." I said, "I would have never thought that Zack could be that way, but.." I paused, watching the shower wall through the water spray, "Josh, I'm sorry, but I'm not about to fully trust anyone related to him. I know what that gets me, and you can't even begin to imagine what that did to me."

He was silent now.

"When I found out you were lying to me, that was it. That was all you got, and I'm not especially eager to wait around for you to become like Zack." I paused, "I'm not entirely sure how it's possible to love someone so much, but not trust them."

"Somehow," He said, "I'll make this right, too."

"Stay away from him, Josh." I told him, "I mean it. I haven't seen him in over three years, and for good reason. I don't need you to try to fix anything. I've written them off, and that's how it's going to stay."

After a moment more of standing there, he kissed the back of my head, and stepped out of the shower. I sighed, listening to him leave the room.

I stepped out less than thirty minutes later. Heading instantly for Isaiah, I smiled as I lifted him to me. He was grumpy, however. His expression told me he was tired. As did the whimpering cries he made.

"I'm sorry I took so long." I said, looking up.

"You deserved it." Alice replied, "But now, he's refusing to sleep."

"This is how he normally is about this time of night." Ness sighed, "I've tried everything I can think of to get him to settle down. I'm lucky if I can get him to sleep for more than fifteen minutes at a time." I heard the edge of stress in her voice, and I felt grateful for her help.

"Let me try." Mikah spoke up and I looked to him, "I'm good with babies." I watched him step forward, and gesture that I hand him over.

"This might be a little different than handling human babies." Ness reminded him doubtfully, "Nothing I knew of worked. I will be amazed if anything you try works. He's got to be the crankiest baby I've ever known."

"Just like his mama." Emmett chuckled from the side and I gave him a look, "Hey, I remember what it was like trying to get you to sleep through the night, shorty. And you were ten."

"I had a reason, if you don't recall." I reminded him, "You try sleeping through those memories. You're lucky I slept at all."

"You practically didn't there for awhile."

"Shut up." I muttered, and he chuckled again.

I didn't see the harm in it, so I let Mikah take Isaiah in his arms. Mikah tried laying him on his back, but Isaiah wasn't having any of that. He just cried louder. Kicking and trying to sit back up.

"Oh," Mikah chuckled, "Nope, he doesn't like that. I hear you, bud. Let's try this way." He turned Isaiah over, onto his stomach in his arms. Isaiah's arms and legs on either side of Mikah's arms. He fussed a little at first, until Mikah started gently swinging him back and forth. The movement was slow, but different to him.

"Five bucks says this works." Emmett muttered, and I smiled a little. Nobody replied, watching him as well.

It didn't take long before he quieted down, his cheek rested on his arm. Nobody said a word, watching Mikah. Isaiah's eyes were still open, though, so he was fighting sleep. Slowly, however, his eyes started closing.

"There." Mikah's voice was just as soothing as it always was for me, "That's not so bad, is it?" I really couldn't help admiring the way Mikah was with Isaiah. He made it look so easy, and he was so comfortable helping him. He looked to me, smiling a little. I couldn't help returning it.

Within five minutes, Isaiah was out cold. He offered him to me, and I stepped forward. Together, we managed to move him without waking him up too much.

He now lay on his back in my arms, and I looked down at him. He woke a little, seeming like he was going to start crying again. Kicking his legs sharply a little, opening his eyes and looking up at me, but after a few seconds of looking up at me he just closed his eyes again. Given the way he breathed, he was right back to sleep.

"You've got to teach me that." Ness sighed, shaking her head.

"Where were you when I couldn't sleep?" I asked quietly.

"You're not a six month old." He replied, chuckling.

"Good point." I laughed a little, "Thank you, Mikah."

"It's easy to learn that kind of stuff." He said, "You'll get the hang of it. Just have to think. After the last couple of days, what would he want most? To know he's safe. Something about holding them like that makes them feel safe."

I nodded, understanding.

"It definitely helps that he was able to see you." He continued, "Next time he's fussy like that, you try it. Guaranteed it won't take you as long."

I watched Isaiah sleep for a few minutes, until I finally looked back up.

"So." I said quietly, looking to Carlisle, "Now what?" He was quiet, letting me continue, "I know it's not over with the Volturi."

"The only thing we really can do is handle it as it comes to us." He replied, "We've made our move, now we wait for theirs." That made sense.

"Should we try running again?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"That proved to be too dangerous." He reminded me, "Too easy to overwhelm us. For now, I think it's best if we all stay together."

"I can't offer much." I said, "I know I'm not much help when it comes to them, because of how inexperienced I am. I've seen the way they fight."

"You've got the instincts," Jasper told me, "And the strength, but not much else yet. That's not enough." I knew that already, but I wished there was some quick way to learn the things I needed to learn while I had the chance to learn them.

"If they even decide to come at all." Alice added, "I haven't seen anything yet."

"They know about what happened to Aro, though." I pointed out, "Why wouldn't they come? Not to mention, we stole another member of the guard. That won't make Caius very happy."

"Let him be pissed." Josh said beside me, "Nobody stole me. I chose to leave."

"You don't just choose to leave the way you did, Josh." I replied, "You have to discuss it with them, and if they want to let you go, you go. Otherwise, you're stuck just like everybody else. You can't just walk away like that."

"Or they decide to let you go." Mikah told him, "Like in my case. And that's if they like you. If they're unhappy with you, you can't expect anything so nice."

A howl out in the forest caught all of our attention, instantly silencing us.

"Stay here." Carlisle told me firmly, leading everyone else from the house. With nobody else to take Isaiah, I had no choice but to do as he said. I wasn't about to leave him by himself, or take him closer to danger.

After a minute, however, I was more concerned about the other visitor my gift warned me of as he headed toward the house. My family was busy, and it was just me here. Nobody to play interference.

God, didn't he know how dangerous this is?

I looked around me desperately at the knock at the front door, not sure what to do. I was considering just pretending that I wasn't home, until Isaiah was woken up by the sound.

Dammit, this was stressful enough.

Isaiah started to cry, probably hating as much as I did being woken up. With how loud Isaiah was being, I knew he had to have heard him.

It didn't take long before Andrew decided to just open the door.

**A/N: I know this is shorter, and how long it took to come out, but I've been pretty distracted lately.  
THANK YOU to those of you who reviewed! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!  
Yes, and it was brought to my attention that I never answered the poll (thingy) question I asked before.  
I haven't really decided, but I'm leaning more toward C myself. Continuing both. But I'm also leaning more toward continuing this one, but along the same lines as the last two stories of last series. Sort of combining the two, and continuing on from there. Thoughts on that?  
The way I'm going to end this one, I do believe, is going to leave it open to continuing.** **I'm not sure. I haven't thought much about chapter twelve.  
Okay, with that said, I'm fairly sure twelve will be the last. BUT I'm not saying that for certain, since my mind seems to hate me. We'll see.  
On that note, I shall see you all for chapter twelve. (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

I instantly stopped breathing, moving across the room. Toward the side door. I desperately tried getting Isaiah to get quiet, but he must have sensed my stress. I couldn't leave the house, but there wasn't much else.

I turned, looking out the window. I heard his heartbeat clear as day, and it in itself was driving me crazy. Before he could ascend the stairs, entering the room I was in, I darted from it. Heading for my room. If I was going to kill him, I didn't want Isaiah to see it happen.

"Leandra?" I heard him call from up the hall. I had to answer him, otherwise he'd come find me.

"Stay there." I called back, "Please."

"Are you okay?" He called, but he hesitated in the hallway. That wasn't far enough.

"I'm fine." I closed my eyes tightly, hating the way my voice trembled. Someone needed to come back, and soon.

Out in the hall, Andrew came closer. As a precaution, I laid Isaiah down on the center of the bed. Which only pissed him off even more. I only wanted him out of my arms in case I snapped. I didn't want him anywhere near me if that happened. Or I should have said, when.

"Who's baby is that?" He'd made it to the door, pushing it open, "Leandra?"

Thankfully, we weren't alone anymore. The door opened, and I heard them all coming in. I could still hear Andrew's heartbeat as clear as day, and just the sound was enough to make it incredibly difficult not to end it. I knew the scent would end my control, so I had yet to take a breath.

"Andrew." Carlisle spoke now, "Come this way."

"I think she's hurt or something." Andrew replied, taking one more step. Entering the room. That was it. That was all I could handle. Hearing his voice so close ended my control. I spun, and he didn't even have time to react before I was suddenly in front of him, grabbing his neck. He had just enough time to look into my eyes before he was suddenly away from me, and I had to follow.

I followed Carlisle up the hall as he dragged Andrew with him. Keeping him just out of my reach. Stringing me along with Andrew as bait. I'd just made it into the living room when I was faced by my brothers. Sort of herding me, turning me around and taking my attention briefly. My arm was taken by Emmett.

"You got this, shorty." He told me, "Come on." He attempted to pull me further away, and at first, I took a step. I glanced behind me, straight at Andrew.

Andrew stood with Carlisle, his eyes wide with shock at my behavior. I couldn't blame him. Not really.

I glared at Emmett beside me, growling up at him. Warning him to remove his hand, or lose it. In that one moment, I remembered every moment that made me this way. How perfect I was for this life, but at the time, it left my thoughts the second I thought about it.

"Leandra." Jasper called my attention now, and I fought it.

I never thought I could feel as tense as I was while being turned, but I was wrong. I growled and tore my arm from Emmett's grip. Unfortunately, that growl had taken the last of my breath, and without thinking, I took another one in.

The moment fire erupted in my throat with that breath, I lost it. Who was _he_ to cause me pain? There was only one way to get rid of the pain. To solve my problem. I had taken the breath, but let it out in a loud snarl, announcing my pain. I spun with that snarl, attempting to pounce.

Andrew gave a shout of fear, stumbling back, and I found myself suddenly wrapped in restraining arms.

The moment I lost myself, things kept falling apart. Every beat of his heart begged me to end it, and the faster it beat, the louder it got. I heard it, and I felt it. The sound, the feel of it quickly drove me from in control, to the brink of my sanity. I wanted to end it for him, to take out my anger, my rage on him. I needed to end it.

I never knew hate like I had in that moment.

The hate I'd felt in my human life was nothing but a shadow compared to this hate. I wanted to kill him, to take his life like he'd never should have had it at all. I wanted to rip, tear him apart. It no longer mattered that he was my friend. Someone I'd known longer than I'd known Josh. It didn't matter. That thought never even crossed my mind. It never even entered my mind.

As a result of this hate, I fought. Thrashing in Emmett's arms like I never had before. Pulling, twisting like a trapped animal. Jasper moved forward to help him, his hand closing firmly on my arm as they slowly moved me toward the door.

"Don't take her far." Carlisle instructed, "Just far enough to let her calm down." My gaze never left Andrew, watching as Carlisle pulled him back to his feet. I watched as he carefully moved Andrew further from me, and I finally realized what they were trying to do. They were telling me that I couldn't have him.

The room was crowded, heavily so, but the only one I saw was Andrew. Everyone else was just an obstacle I had to get through. Things I had to get passed to get to what I wanted.

"Wait a minute." Andrew finally spoke up, "Josh?"

"Hey." Josh replied, amusement in his voice, "Okay, this is funny."

"No it's not." Emmett groaned, squeezing me, "So shut up, or help us."

Instead of pulling again, I turned in his arms and shoved Emmett away from me as hard as I could. He flew back, hitting the wall as I spun back around. Trying harder to get at Andrew.

I managed two steps before Jasper stepped up, literally tackling me to the floor. Dazing me just long enough to let him pull me up. I spun at him now, until Emmett managed to capture me again. I pushed Emmett back before he could get a very secure grip on me, ducking from his arms, and watching him nearly fall onto Jasper.

Before I was even fully on my feet, Mikah had me pinned to the floor. Tackling me sideways now, his full weight centered on me.

The more they tried to restrain me, the more I wanted to fight. The more I wanted to fight, the stronger I got. Like I hadn't realized before just how capable I was now.

I rolled, right to Emmett. He quickly gripped my arms, wrestling me to my feet. I twisted just right, freeing myself from his hands and instantly running this time. I didn't want to give them a chance to catch me again. Leaping over the chair toward Andrew.

Mikah caught me again, yet another tackle. I rolled under him, and kicked him off of me. Straight across the room, he hit the wall beside the fireplace, but Emmett was ready again, taking an arm in his hand, his other arm around my stomach. He locked his grip this time, squeezing me tightly to keep me from being able to turn. He lifted me off my feet this time, making it harder to fight, but not impossible.

I wasn't done. I already knew he wasn't close enough for me to bite, as he was exactly careful enough to stay out of reach of my teeth. Otherwise I would. He kept hold, though, tightening every second, but he struggled.

As quickly as he could now, Emmett pulled me through the door, Mikah and Jasper both following.

He carried me off the porch, out into the yard. Holding me until the fresh air outside did its job. I eventually stopped resisting, practically enveloped in his arms. I was still so small compared to him. My steady stream of growls quieted, my panting hisses calmed to normal breathing again. Nobody said anything, letting me listen to the silence of outside now. I still clearly heard Andrew's heartbeat, but it didn't have the same effect now that there was space between us.

"You good now?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. He let me down, but he stayed ready. Ready to restrain me again if the need arose. Taking a deep breath, breathing in even more clean air, I sighed.

"Still enjoying the newborn phase, Emmett?" Jasper chuckled. I knew they weren't mad at me then, relieved more than I could say.

"I'm sorry." I said, "I don't know what happened."

"We don't blame you, Leandra." Jasper replied, "That's what it means to be what we are."

"And besides." Mikah said, "How else will you learn control? But to lose it a few times."

"He fainted." Josh came out laughing, "That was funny." I looked down. I felt horrible. How could I have reacted that way to him? Jasper looked to Josh.

"This is hardly something to laugh about." Jasper told him, "I highly suggest you shut up."

"As if we need anything more to worry about." Mikah agreed with Jasper, "What made him come here, anyway? And why did no one stop him?"

"How am I going to learn if I run away every time?" I asked, ignoring Mikah's questions.

"I don't think right now is the best time to be pushing yourself, Leandra." Jasper answered, sighing.

"What made you guys have to leave?" My mind was racing, unable to focus on just one subject at a time.

"Aidan." He replied, "You didn't see him inside?"

"I didn't see anyone but Andrew." I said, and he nodded slowly in understanding. It was true. Everything else stopped mattering the second I felt the fire race down my throat.

"How is she doing?" I looked up as more came outside, smiling a little at Esme and Alice.

"I'm okay." I replied, "Still a little unsure, but I think I'm getting it." In Esme's arms, Isaiah was sleeping. He must have cried himself back to sleep. Alice and Esme came to my side. With her free hand, Esme straightened my hair.

"I figured seeing him would help." Esme told me, and I sighed as I looked to Isaiah.

"More than you know." She tried to hand him to me, but I shook my head. Denying myself the opportunity to hold him for the first time since he was born. She gave me a curious look, "I think you should keep him. I'm still too shaken."

"Of course." She said, "Honey, it's okay. Your reaction was completely normal."

"I don't care." I said, "If nobody had stopped me, what would have happened?"

"It takes practice, Leandra." Jasper explained, "And a lot of it. You're not expected to have control over your instincts yet. You're hardly a few hours old."

I looked down again, shaking my head.

"It still bothers me." I murmured, "I don't like losing control over what I do." I glanced up at the door opening yet again, "Oh god, I might as well go back inside." Who stepped out instead, however, had me taking a step back, looking worriedly up at Jasper.

Andrew was obviously a lot braver than I thought he was. Or stupid. Or insane. Or a decent mix of all three, because I wasn't sure if I could go through that again without hurting myself or others, or killing him.

"You never told me." He said, and I kept my words to myself. Choosing not to reply, "This was the secret. The one you could never say." Unsure, I nodded. Answering him silently, "I'll keep my distance for now, but I wanted to tell you that it's fine. I understand now. It was.. A little hard to deal with a bit ago, but Carlisle explained. So you don't have to worry about me saying anything."

It was far easier facing him outside than it was inside. Even if I wasn't brave enough to breathe yet, him several feet away on the porch, and me in the yard surrounded by the strongest members of the family eased me. I nodded, letting him know I heard him, and appreciated it.

"See?" Josh chuckled, "I knew he'd be cool with it."

"And you." Andrew said, his gaze landing on Josh, "You've been alive this whole time?" I looked to Josh as well, waiting for his reply. I wondered briefly how he'd answer that.

"It's not like I could just pick up the phone." Josh replied, "I was a little busy."

"With what?" He asked in return, thankfully not sounding too upset, "Josh, you haven't changed. You look exactly like you did the last time I saw you."

"I doubt Carlisle's had a chance to fill you in completely yet." Josh answered, "That's going to take some time."

Andrew nodded, "I've got time." His eyes went to me, "Leandra, I have to ask, because it's what made me come in. Whose baby is that?"

I glanced to Jasper, seeing he was watching me close enough.

"He's mine." I said finally, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear, "A very long story, but I know you'll get filled in soon." That was it for my breath supply. I hesitantly took another breath in, and only a faint bit of his scent reached me out here. It still burned, but not enough to make me leap at him like a wild animal again.

"Yours?" He asked, surprised. The timing would have been way off to believe much of anything but the truth. Considering he last saw me for my birthday eight months ago. Isaiah wouldn't have been born yet to have gotten pregnant after that.

"I know." I said, "It's hard to believe, but it's true." The door opened behind him, and I watched as both Aidan and Carlisle stepped outside.

"Leandra." Aidan greeted, stepping by Andrew as if he weren't even there, "Truly frightening display in there." He descended the steps, greeting me with a small side hug. Something was off. I wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was seeing him for the first time like this.

"I look different now, huh?" I couldn't help greeting him like an old friend.

"Unfortunate." He commented, looking me over, "But I do have to say. You're a lot less fragile. It'll be a lot easier now to bear being in Volterra." I frowned, shaking my head a little.

"I'm not going back there."

"You don't expect this to go on forever, do you?" Aidan asked, chuckling a little, "If you were any kind of smart, you'd go find the guard yourself. You, Josh, and I. Mikah even. All of those that belong there need to face up to what we've done." He glanced to the porch, "The human can be our little secret."

"Aidan, no." I said incredulously, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

"You're asking me that question?" He asked, "Leandra, this has to stop. Personally, I firmly believe that the moment they have us back, that's the end of it. The sooner we show up, the better it'll be for our sake."

"I can't go back to a life like that."

"You know as well as I do that the punishment will be far less severe if we surrender." He told me quietly, "This." He gestured around himself, "It's ridiculous. You're attempting to fight a losing battle."

"Aidan-"

"Aro doesn't tolerate behavior like this, Leandra. You know that." That caught my immediate attention. I stiffened, looking up at him.

"Aro?" I asked, shocked. He frowned a little, "What do you mean? Isn't he dead?"

"Goodness, no." Aidan asked, shocked as well, "Why would you think that?" I spun, looking to Carlisle now. He'd specifically told me that Aro was gone. That he wasn't coming back. I remembered that very clearly, because I held onto it all through being turned.

"You lied to me?" I asked, my voice quiet. The thought, the very idea of Carlisle lying to me was so farfetched, it couldn't exactly register to me. He'd never outright lied like this before. He'd with-held information before, but that was drastically different.

"Leandra," He spoke, "Something you need to understand is that-"

"You lied." I said, firmer now. Finally believing my own words.

"I needed you to believe that you were safe." Carlisle descended the steps, "Can you imagine going through that with that kind of fear over your head?"

"How could you _lie_ to me?" I was getting upset now, "Especially about something like that!"

"Shorty-"

"And you." I said, looking to Emmett now, "You all helped him." He tried to speak again, but I did first, "I don't care. You don't lie to me! Not ever!"

"Princess, they had a good reason." Mikah spoke up now, "Being turned would have been ten times worse with a reason to be afraid, and you know it." I couldn't deny that, "We didn't do it out of spite." His words made sense. The gentle way he spoke soothed me ever-so-slightly. Like it always had. I gave another hesitant glance around, before looking to Mikah again.

"You know we didn't lie to upset you." He repeated, "Right?" I took a breath, letting out quietly. After a moment, I nodded.

I felt foolish for even thinking that they had. I looked down.

After a moment, I looked back up at Aidan, "Where is he now?"

"Last I know of, he was about twenty-five miles north of here." He replied, "But he's got look-outs everywhere. From the way they're positioned, you can't sneeze without them knowing about it. You're lucky he hasn't shown up yet." He smirked apologetically, "There are ways around them, however. Hence, why I'm here."

I looked to Carlisle again, not liking the warning.

"Do you know if he knows about me?" I asked, looking back up at Aidan.

"I couldn't tell you." He replied, "It was pretty difficult just getting by them without being detected."

I sighed heavily, quickly thinking.

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked Aidan now, but I wasn't paying much attention to his reply. There wouldn't be much I could do, except hope he decided to leave my family alone if I went back to him. Aidan was right, though. The punishment would be far less severe if I were to go back willingly, than if he had to catch me.

I wouldn't be alone, that much was clear. I'd at least have Aidan. If Josh decided to go, that'd be up to him. Aro could be happy enough that I had my gift back. And who knew? He could be happy enough that I had been turned. That I no longer had to sleep, or eat. I didn't need to rest, or take breaks.

He might not appreciate the fact that I now had a fighting chance against him, though.

This was, however, a very big decision. With Andrew in on it, that meant I'd be leaving him too.

Slowly, I crossed the yard, lifting Isaiah to me. He continued to sleep, blissfully unaware of the events going on around him. I was tired, so tired of having to leave him. All I wanted was the opportunity to watch him grow up.

"You're not considering it, are you?" Josh asked beside me.

"I don't know what I'm considering." I murmured, not looking up yet.

"Leandra, either way, human or not, he's going to make it hell on you." Josh replied, "You know that."

"I know." I murmured, still not looking up. He sighed, reaching out and taking Isaiah's sleeping hand.

"You know whatever you decide to do, I'm with you." He told me, and I looked up at him, "I told you that I'd take care of you. I meant that."

"I know." I finally smiled a little, "It's just going to be so hard leaving him. You know that's what I'm eventually going to have to do."

"Just hold onto me, baby." He said, "I won't let anyone hurt you." That was a very thoughtful thing to say. Okay, so I had to admit. He was getting to me again.

I glanced over, noticing the way Andrew sat now on the top step of the porch. He looked fine, but also looked as if he had a lot on his mind. I didn't blame him.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, looking up at Josh.

"Sure." He replied, and I sighed.

"Take Isaiah over, and let Andrew meet him." I requested, "I'd go over myself, but.." I trailed off, and he smirked.

"Yeah." He chuckled, letting me place the sleeping baby into his arms. For the second time, Josh got to hold his son.

"Just.." I instructed, "Don't move too quickly. I'll be watching closely, no doubt."

"Got it." He said, unable to keep from smiling at Isaiah as he squirmed a little. He did just as I asked, and moved slowly. Andrew stood up as Josh neared. I watched closely, listening from afar as he explained what had happened. The part I was most nervous about.

I worried about Andrew's reaction.

Long ago, Andrew had a jealous streak on him a mile long. I hadn't had a reason to see it since Josh had been gone, so I was nervous about his reaction. How would he react, knowing Josh had been the one to get me? Was it even like that with him? I didn't know.

To my relief, Andrew smiled, glancing my way. Andrew explained that he loved me like a sister, and was happy to see me happy. I knew it was a little more than that, but it was the effort that mattered to me.

From there, Josh introduced Isaiah to Andrew. Isaiah was barely awake, but I knew he'd pay enough attention to Andrew, as he hadn't met a lot of humans.

"So, wait." Andrew murmured, "He's.. Half human, and half.. What you are?"

"Yeah." Josh answered, "That's why he's aging so fast. He wasn't born that long ago."

"He looks a lot like you." Andrew pointed out, chuckling.

"I can't take much credit for how he turned out." Josh replied, "Leandra practically made him all on her own."

"You weren't with her?"

"I couldn't be." He explained, "That, and she sort of hated me back then." Andrew frowned, "Misunderstanding."

Isaiah was starting to get restless. Obviously not appreciating the way I couldn't be directly seen.

"He's moody right now." Josh chuckled, "He prefers to be around Leandra. She wanted me to come over, though, and let you meet him." I smiled sadly as Andrew glanced to me.

"What am I going to do?" I had to ask, sighing as I listened to Carlisle move to my side. I sighed again, heavier this time, "Don't answer that."

"There is always another option." He replied, "It's taking the time to find it that's going to be difficult."

"What do you think I should do?" I asked, looking up at him, "I don't think Aro will be completely satisfied with just me, but if I take Josh with me, that might only get him into trouble. The same with Aidan. Aidan doesn't deserve to die for helping me, but Aro won't see it that way."

"Leandra, whatever you decide to do, it's your choice." He replied, "No matter what, we can't make that choice for you. The best we can do is support you through it."

"Why can't I be ten again?" I laughed a little, "Decisions like this are hard. It was so much easier when you could make them for me."

A sudden shout from Josh gained my attention, and I moved forward without thinking. Stopping directly beside Andrew to pull Isaiah from Josh's arms.

"He bit me again. Dammit, that really hurts." Josh sighed, irritated as he shook out his hand. My tension gained his attention though, as did my quiet growl. He chuckled, holding his hands up defensively, "But that's fine. He can bite me all he wants. See?" He held his finger up to Isaiah. Luckily for Josh, though, Isaiah only looked up at it. Curious.

I calmed the longer I stood there, until I realized. Looking over at Andrew as he watched me tensely. I stood next to him without even knowing it. Isaiah doing more for my control than I thought. I bounced Isaiah a bit, amazed how little Andrew's scent was bothering me while I held him. So unlike before.

Perhaps before, I hadn't known what to expect?

I was just as shocked as my family seemed to be. I instantly held my breath, slowly moving away from him. Carefully. Not wanting to trigger anything. I wasn't about to push it.

Not long later, Andrew informed us that he had to get back. The hopelessness saddened me. Like I wouldn't get a chance to make it up to him. For acting the way I acted.

It wasn't until Carlisle returned from taking him home that I finally gave my decision.

"Alright." I said, "I'm going to go. I don't care what happens to me, but I'm tired of being selfish." It wasn't going to be nice, what would happen to me as a result of this decision, but it would be worth every moment.

"You don't have to do this." Esme reminded me, and I sighed.

"I know." I said, "But I got what I wanted. I only wanted the ability to be strong enough to endure living there. I only wanted to be strong enough to defend myself if I have to. Now I am. I'm not scared anymore."

"You're not ready." Jasper growled, hating my decision as much as everyone else seemed to.

"I'll learn." I assured him, "I'll learn so much so quickly. I'm not worried, and I'd rather someone be there to keep an eye on what Aro's doing." I sighed, shaking my head a little, "Don't worry about me so much. I'm not the one that needs protecting anymore. You did your job." I smirked a little, amazed at my ability to hide exactly how much this still bothered me.

I asked Mikah what he was going to do, and he replied easily.

"I'll follow you wherever you go, princess."

"You know how dangerous this is." I pointed out quietly.

"I'm fully aware." He said, "That doesn't change my decision, however." I smiled a little, admiring his courage, "If Aro wants us all, I'll go."

"If he refuses," I said, "I want you to come back here. Don't insist." He only gave me a look. Touching my cheek, he stepped passed me to take his place beside Josh behind me.

I managed to keep my emotion back easily now, before I took Josh and Mikah with me, and I left. Aidan chose to show up on his own later on, to my surprise, but I didn't question it.

There was one stop I wanted to make first, though. It was something I had to do. My intentions were less than friendly, but neither Edward or Alice said a word about it before I left. They both had to know what I was planning, but it had to be done.

Dawn would be coming soon, and my first night as a vampire would be over.

I led the two of them through town, only slowing to stop on the front lawn of a place I knew Josh would recognize.

"What are we doing here?" He asked carefully, and I looked to him, "Leandra?"

"This is a bad idea." Mikah murmured, looking to me as well.

I gave him a look, releasing Josh's hand to step forward. I carefully climbed the side of the house, straight for the window I knew to climb through. Thankfully, it was unlocked, and I didn't have to break it to get in. I didn't want him waking up and freaking out too soon.

I'd make Zack pay for taking advantage of me when I was at one of the weakest points of my life. Just that thought alone fueled me. I held my breath, not wanting to lose it too soon. I wanted him to be scared. To have a chance to fear me before I killed him.

I climbed easily through the window, pushing back the curtain silently and looking around the dark room. I spotted him instantly, asleep face down on his bed. Completely oblivious to what was standing in the room with him. I half wondered if he instinctively knew, despite the fact that he was asleep, that his life would end tonight.

I listened to his calm heartbeat, sleep keeping it even. Somehow, instead of fueling me like it had done with Andrew, how calm Zack's heartbeat was made it easier to concentrate. It calmed me, instead of angered me. I didn't understand how that was, but it would just make it easier to enjoy this all the more.

I slowly stepped closer, until I stepped over an object on the floor beside the bed. My attention moving to the object, instead of the sleeping boy on the bed. Reaching for it, I never made a sound.

Lifting the photo album to me, I quietly opened it.

Beside me, Zack moved in his sleep, and I glanced up. When he laid still, I turned pages, looking over all the pictures in the book I held. Listening to Josh move around downstairs, I slowly paced away from the bed. He must have chosen to come through the front door.

A sort of sadness came over me as I recognized each photo I looked at. They were all taken of us. Some combination of the four of us when we were kids. Some taken during major events, like a birthday party or outing we all went on, most taken around one house or another. There were so many pictures.

It was hard for me to shake off how much I actually missed Zack.

It wasn't like I wanted to be friends with him again, but to me, it felt more like he'd died. A sort of grief found its way into my stomach, feeling pain suddenly for having lost Zack as a friend. Especially when I knew he was just feeling lost.

I was far from forgiving him for what he'd done to me, but I wouldn't punish him even more. Everything that happened during my years human seemed less insignificant, somehow. I wasn't angry about it anymore. I no longer felt angry about it. I only felt a sort of grim acceptance that I wouldn't fight.

The smiles on our faces meant something different back then. My thoughts drifted, recalling what it was like to just sit and laugh. To sit in a circle, all four of us, and not worry about what else was going on.

The very last time we'd ever seen something like that was that day on the beach. The very last time we were all together was that day in the sun. After that, it just all fell apart faster than we could hold it together.

It was just bittersweet, looking over the photo. I remembered those years fondly. From the first day I met them, until now felt like forever to me. So much had happened, and so much had changed in all of us.

The door opened, and I looked up at Josh standing there. The look on his face calmed me even further, ensuring what I came here to do wouldn't happen.

"Let's just go, Josh." I whispered, closing the album. Not without stealing a photo first. One I didn't want to let go. I placed the album back on the floor, and turned to leave. I couldn't do it. It was too hard, and as much as part of me was begging to strangle him until he stopped twitching, I looked to the photo still in my hands, and shook my head.

Zack moved again in his sleep, catching Josh's attention as well as mine. Josh moved a bit, looking toward the bed. He smiled a little, shaking his head.

"You grew up, butthead." He muttered, laughing sadly.

That he had. Having turned seventeen two months before me, he definitely looked the age. He was a lean sort of muscular, his dark brown, nearly black hair swept back out of his blue eyes closed in sleep. I had been right in what I assumed as a kid. He definitely wasn't hard on the eyes.

I stayed off to the side, giving Josh his time. He hadn't seen Zack in so long, I figured he deserved this chance. Zack was his brother. I wished there was a way Zack could see him too, but there wasn't. Not without having to explain. Unless we told him not to ask questions. I suddenly wanted to try.

"Zack." I called, just loud enough that he'd hear me. Josh looked to me, deeply confused as Zack started to stir. It was dark enough in the room, I knew the color of our eyes would be difficult to see.

Zack gave a small shout of surprise as he noticed two people standing in his room.

"Calm down." I said quietly, "It's just me."

"Leandra?" He asked, recognizing my voice.

"Yeah." I replied, looking to Josh now. I was out of breath to use now, so it'd be up to him.

"And me." Josh took the hint, surprising the hell out of Zack. He sat there, stunned for a moment, before he hurriedly reached for the lamp, "Leave the light off. Trust me."

"Where have you been?" Zack asked, "Do you know how worried everyone has been?"

"I know." Josh replied quietly, and I turned. Heading toward the window. Opening it, I took in a breath of the breeze that blew into the room. Leaning slowly on the sill. I peered down at Mikah waiting in the yard. Looking very uncomfortable.

They talked quietly behind me, and I did my best to ignore them. Josh wasn't giving him too much information, so I didn't care what was said. Of course I had my own bitter resentment toward Zack, but I'd let Josh have his chance.

The whole time they talked, I held Mikah's gaze. After awhile, he smirked. Amused by the look on my face.

"Smile, princess." He murmured, which I heard perfectly, "It suits you well."

From up high, I could smell it. The scent, coming closer. It wasn't Mikah. I didn't recognize a thing about this scent, but that it was coming our way. I stiffened, standing straighter. Looking out over what I could see of the sleeping town. My eyes roamed, an instant tension rolling through me.

"Josh," I murmured, turning to look back at him, "We have to go. Now."

"But I just got here-"

"You can either come with me, or stay." I responded sharply, "That's your choice, but either way, I'm leaving." I didn't wait for his reply, ducking through the window quickly. The moment my feet touched the ground, instinct took over, and I took Mikah's hand. I started to run, pulling Mikah along behind me.

"Leandra?" Mikah was confused, but I wasn't about to stop and explain it to him.

Eventually, I heard Josh following the two of us. Probably not at all happy about having to leave so soon.

I hadn't realized at the time that I ran straight for home. Where I knew I was safe. Forgetting completely that I'd already left. With my gift back, I really wasn't used to being caught off guard by anything. This obviously wasn't Aro. As far as I could tell, Aro was keeping a careful distance. He hadn't decided to move in yet.

Whoever it was followed the three of us. I'd caught their attention.

I was worried now. I was leading this stranger toward home. Toward my family. Was that smart? It smelled like he was alone, but he had many, many different scents on him. Not one of them I recognized.

"Leandra, wait." It was clear that Mikah understood now, but he allowed me to drag him behind me. Through the trees now, straight for home.

I growled, knowing our follower was close enough to hear it, because I was close enough to him to hear his responding chuckle.

"Leandra." Mikah chuckled this time, but I wasn't listening.

To my relief, Carlisle met me in the trees. We made it passed the wolves. Some watch-wolves they were. Heading from the north-east end, we made it to Carlisle's side, sliding to a stop behind him. Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper all stood with us now, facing off with the stranger that stopped his advance. Seeing we weren't alone now, and that he shouldn't go any further.

Josh stood beside me, his arms reaching out to hold me. I gave him a look, snapped my teeth his direction, and moved forward, choosing to stand partially between Carlisle and Jasper. I was irritated, borderline angry with his actions before. Hesitating when he should have acted first.

With my eyes on the handsome stranger, I growled from behind them, not appreciating being chased, or the smirk on the stranger's face. Mikah, surprisingly, was still just as amused as he was before.

Male, in his early twenties, maybe. His dark brown hair was cut short, and he had this mischevious, boyish look to his features. He would have been cute, in a deadly creature kind of way had I not been defensive.

"Why were you chasing me?" I demanded, and he smirked.

"Mikah." He greeted, and I looked to Mikah to my left, "Long time no see." The stranger had a deep voice, almost friendly. I knew better, though. Or my instincts did.

"Cole." Mikah grinned, and the name he gave the stranger vaguely rang a bell, "I knew I could count on you." Cole grinned in return.

Mikah knew this guy. That eased me a great deal, signified by my ability to take a breath without hissing his direction.

I looked up at Carlisle, and he seemed just as surprised as I was.

"I think I scared your newborn." Cole chuckled, "I apologize." There was absolutely no way to not like this guy. He had a charm about him that was irresistable.

"You're the first nomad she's met." Carlisle replied, and Cole looked to him. Smiling in a friendly way.

"You must be Carlisle." He said pleasantly, "I'm Cole. Mikah here invited me, telling me of your little problem." I watched him closely, not seeing a single thing off. He was trustworthy. My instincts had covered my gift, and now that I had been eased, I could see that. Cole smiled softly at me, "I'm here to see what I can do to help you out."

After a brief introduction of the others, we all headed back for the house.

"First off," Cole said, "I'd like a little bit more information, if you don't mind filling me in. Mikah wasn't able to be very specific."

"You might not want to get involved." I said quietly, "Trust me." He looked to me, and smiled.

"Don't worry, darling." He replied, "I've got some experience under my belt. I wouldn't worry too much about me." Okay, he was _really_ charming. If he could win me over like that so easily, something had to be wrong. I could see, though, that his intentions were pure. Which probably attributed to the easy trust in him.

"Who is he?" I asked, leaning closer to Mikah. He obviously trusted him completely, which eased me, "I almost recognize the name."

"Cole is the one that turned me." He replied, and I nodded in understanding, "After what happened with my father, he found me. He took care of me, and showed me the ropes. After a few years, we parted ways, but always somehow remained in touch." I had never been so thankful for his past before. This guy obviously knew what he was doing.

We stopped in the yard, letting the others choose to come outside instead of bringing the stranger into the house. Outside, Carlisle explained in full detail what our situation was. Cole never interrupted, listening with an open expression. He didn't even look defensive. He looked relaxed, as if discussing the latest weather with an old friend.

Slowly, the others felt eased enough to come closer than the porch. Even Renesmee, and by the slow way they paced, I knew the wolves no longer minded the new comer. We all stood outside now, watching the yard slowly lighten with the morning.

"So," Cole said once Carlisle had finished explaining, "You're saying.." He wanted to recap, "Aro claimed to own her when she was just a kid?" He gestured to me, "And you've waited so long to look for assistance?"

"There aren't many who are willing to stand with us against them." Carlisle explained with a sigh.

"You say you've done it before." Cole replied, intently interested.

"Yes." Carlisle answered, "The others that stood with us before aren't willing to risk it again."

"I can't say as I blame them." He admitted, chuckling, "This isn't a job for single nomads, or pairs. You need the large covens. The ones that have remained undetected, of course. You're suggesting something huge, Carlisle, but I'll tell you what. I'll do what I can to help you and your coven out, if you promise to return the favor if it's ever needed."

"Of course." Carlisle replied easily, "We're always open to new friendships."

"I need to know your numbers." He said, "Including the polite four-legged ones surrounding the place."

"Thirty-five wolves." Carlisle answered, "Altogether under two alphas." Cole nodded, surprised, "Seventeen of us, depending fully on whether Aidan wishes to give us another hand. Sixteen without him, as I'm sure Edward wouldn't appreciate having Renesmee around, and I'm certain I don't want Leandra involved quite yet."

"Hey-" I started.

"He's absolutely right." Cole agreed, "You're new. It'd be far too dangerous for you right now. There is no way you could possibly keep your temper in a fight like this. If it were to come to that." I shut up. I was outvoted, it seemed.

"I've got fifteen." Cole continued, looking to Carlisle again, "_Possibly_ sixteen, if someone would ever make up his mind." We stayed quiet, "I've made a few friends with covens numbering at around ten. Ten or eleven, also depending." He paused and smiled, "They owe me, so I believe now is as good a time as any to call on those favors."

Carlisle looked to me, and I looked up at him again.

"It's your call, Leandra." He told me, "Now is the time to think. Is this something you're willing to go through with? Are you determined enough to stay that you'd want this to happen?"

"Yes." I said after a moment, "I want to stay. More than anything, I want to stay. That's all I've ever wanted." Carlisle moved his gaze back to Cole.

"Is it safe to assume they'll be assisting?" Carlisle asked hesitantly.

"It's a fairly safe bet." Cole replied, "Aro wants a battalion? He'll get one." He looked to me and smiled, "One battalion, coming right up for this one beautiful young lady."

It turned out, he wasn't bluffing. Far from it.

Before, when only eighteen other vampires had shown up, we had fourty-eight safely show up during the next day. Not counting Cole's group, our group, or the wolves. Tanya had chosen to come in by that time, finding it a lot safer here than out on their own. Wolves or not.

In that time frame of less than twenty-four hours, six more Quileutes turned for the first time. So among worrying about what this would bring us, the wolves had to worry about keeping track of the new phasers.

Everyone new was informed immediately of Renesmee and Isaiah's conditions, for lack of a better word, so they'd know why Ness wasn't going to fight. She would be there, and against my better judgement, Isaiah would be as well. Regardless of how many we were going to be facing Aro with, it still wasn't safe to seperate.

The number of gifts alone among us now was staggering.

It turned out that Cole had a shield in his coven as well. Haley's gift was exactly like Bella's, only a lot more practiced. She'd taken Bella off to the side, to give her tips and pointers. Haley could remove the shield from herself completely, and give it to another person or group. No matter how far away they were in her sight. If she could see them, they could take it. It left her vulnerable, but it could come in handy.

Cole's friend, another coven leader by the name of Darren, had a pretty interesting gift himself.

Darren could control others gifts. If he chose to. He had the ability to manipulate the abilities of others. Not quite taking them, but directing them where he wanted them to be used or given to a specific person. As an example, he used Jasper's gift on Alice. Pissing her off to no end. He didn't keep it up for long, just long enough to give a pretty vivid example.

He loved it when he came across prophets like Alice and I, as he could give our ability to others. Just so they would understand what it was like to be in our situation. I found that highly entertaining.

As an example, I suggested he give my gift to Alice for just a moment. She'd always known, for about as long as I'd known, what I could do, but this was different. She could see for herself exactly how much more I could see than she could, and she understood now.

"I can definitely see now." She told me once I had it back, "You had that when you were eleven?" I nodded, sighing apologetically, "Leandra, that's an amazing ability."

"I agree." Darren commented, "One of the most powerful prophets I've ever come across." It didn't seem like that big of a deal to me.

All around us was conversation. Groups talking to other groups, all convening on one area. It was the strangest thing, that I could follow each conversation individually, and still follow my own. Gaining all the information everyone else was getting, and still concentrate without getting overwhelmed.

And without even having to search, knowing where each member of my family was around me in the crowd. Just by the scents around me.

However, the member of his Cole's coven that unnerved us all, was Bradley.

If he chose to use it, his ability was physically controlling others. If he wanted someone over to the left, that person would move. If he wanted someone up in a tree, they'd climb that tree. There was no resisting it. None, whatsoever.

He was kind, however. Choosing an example of only moving me across the group. Taking me from standing between Josh and Aidan, to between Carlisle and Emmett. I stayed away from him after that, his dark crimson eyes setting me on edge like nobody else's did.

I had to admire him, though. That was a gift that he'd have to have a handle on right from the start. I bet that one was a hard ability to master.

Among the other gifts, there was another mind reader, like Edward. Pretty much identical gifts, so it was hard for them to be in very close proximity to each other. The other mind reader was female, though. Going by the name of Danielle.

Cole himself had a gift nobody even noticed. To me, it wasn't so much a gift, but a personality trait, but it wasn't useless. He had the ability to make it easier for others to like him. To make friends, and bonds that last. It wasn't anything like Chelsea's ability, but it was the other's choice whether or not to keep him around. He was just an open person.

It was clear, right from the start, that nobody would fight unless absolutely necessary.

The plan was forming, and our groups grew closer. I stood at the very front of our group, but still somewhat surrounded by the three other groups. All facing each other, but each coven seperated in their own groups. The wolves closed in the perimeter, but kept their distance. Only daring to get close enough to hear us.

I kept close watch, as did Alice, throughout the day. Waiting for the moment when Aro would hear about our group. I was surprised he hadn't yet. It amazed me, also, that we were able to pull this off in just a few short hours.

The plan was fairly simple.

I had to be there, despite their wishes I stay away. Essentially, I was bait. I was the one that would be telling Aro that I was no longer his property. I had to be respectful about it, and I would be. To the best of my ability. To play along, to ease the no-doubt large group into a false sense of security. To fake, and fake well, my submission.

We'd keep our gifts to ourselves, aside from the shields of course, until they were needed. The most powerful and useful gifts would be protected toward the center of our group waiting nearby.

Midnight, we'd move to a proper meeting place. We'd be going to them. Before Aro had a chance to gather many others. We'd get an agreement from him one way or another. He wanted to bully us? We could bully him right back. Two prophets on our side, we'd know his every move, and we'd be ready for it.

Alice and I spent a lot of time discussing things to ourselves. Coordinating, so to speak, because there were things I could see that she couldn't, and I still had a lot of catching up to do before I had near the amount of control over my gift as she had over hers.

For the first time since I was eleven years old, I had hope.

That evening, we waited. Having taken the day to get to know each other pretty well, we were waiting for the moment we could go.

This was going to work. With how close the struggle with Carlisle had gotten, Aro was hesitant to attempt that again. Carlisle's strength was something unspoken, but now that he'd managed to prove it, Aro wouldn't be particularly eager to see what a large group like this could do.

It was decided that Josh, Aidan, and I would go first. Sort of catching them off guard, and the others would wait further away. It relieved me to know I wouldn't be going alone, as selfish as it was for me to say. It was dangerous for us, but quite a bit safer for everyone else. The others were only back-up. I requested that Mikah stay behind. As much as that bothered him, he agreed. The fewer I had with me, the easier it would be to do this.

If I couldn't pull this off successfully, they would step in.

Sitting there on the front porch step, I sort of zoned. Staring almost numbly at the ground in front of me. Deep, so deep in thought. Isaiah was safe. Sleeping inside, as the group in the yard all spoke.

I had so much to be grateful for, and I knew that. Despite how still I sat, I felt something moving. A sort of stirring in my veins. Not blood, definitely not like I used to feel, but a movement nonetheless.

I looked across the yard at Josh standing there, talking quietly to Carlisle. He didn't know I was watching him, so the smile I saw there as they discussed the possibilities of him staying remained on his face. How I could have ever doubted his sincerity, was beyond me. Though Isaiah chose to use him as a chew toy, he was still his son.

I used to think there were things I was scared of. I used to think that I had reason to be afraid before. Of Jack, of what he did to me at the trial. Of dying. Drowning, or being beaten to death. I used to think there were things I was afraid of losing, like my life, or my family.

Now I knew fear like I'd never known before. I knew being afraid meant nothing like this before. This was brand new to me, and there was no fighting this fear. I feared for my son. To protect him was my entire life. That's all I meant now.

Along those same lines, part of my mind constantly on Isaiah, I followed that thought's path. To my memories, my human ones. All my life, playing before my eyes before I died and while I lived. While Carlisle ensured I lived forever, there was so much my mind was unwilling to leave behind.

My entire life that had led me to this point.

I wasn't willing to let that go. The pain and the fear I'd felt. The love and the support I was shown as I grew older. Every moment I lived, pieced together a past that most would look back on and cry. I still wanted to. It still hurt me, but the way I looked at it now, with a perspective nobody else had, I could officially say that I'd survived. I'd made it far enough to be turned.

I wasn't going to let that go.

In many ways, my past did define who I was. It made me the person, or whatever, I was today. It made me who I was. Every single thing I remembered while being turned would echo in my mind for a long time, and it could echo further than it could before. Vividly, painfully. Making itself known, and telling me that no matter how different I was now, I'd never escape it.

I was the product of two people who fell in love, and got married way too early in life. My father would consider me a surprise. Mostly an accident. Neither of them were ready for me, but there I was. There was no changing that, but my mother could change who raised me.

Jack was someone who had absolutely no business living. Not with the things he did to me. It still confused me, wondering how on earth I survived for so long with him in my life. For six years, I survived. That's all I did. The phrase 'living through hell' didn't apply here, because I didn't live. Metaphorically. I did, but that wasn't the point.

I'd spent six years of my life wishing I was dead. Even before I knew that's what I wished for. Before I even had any sort of knowledge of death, or what it meant. That was such a hard concept to grasp. A small child, no more than a toddler, wishing to never have been born. If anyone could imagine such an impossible thought, it was me. My family, or anyone who knew Jack and I. Some of my earliest memories being of crying, sobbing on the floor because nobody wanted me.

Locked in a room for days, hating how much it hurt. My stomach in knots, my heart broken and breathing loud in fear. I hated it.

To think about that now, and how my life turned out from then until now, was so hard. It was difficult, because I didn't know back then how everything could be. How it could turn out for me. I didn't want to let that go.

I'd been tortured, beaten. Battered, bruised. I'd been abused, and I'd been mistreated. Back before now. Before I was strong enough to protect myself. I wouldn't let it go. If I didn't remember little me, who would? Five, six year old me. Still innocent in the ways it mattered, until that ended.

I closed my eyes briefly, hanging my head. I didn't know before how much everything could change. I didn't realize before why I was so confused. All the time. Now I knew. It was because everything still hurt me. It was too new, too fresh to let go of. I was scared, defensive, with every reason to be.

As I grew up, I gained a bit of my humanity back, but never quite enough to understand how someone like Jack could be so evil. The animal that raised me to be an animal. Constantly ensuring me that if I lived long enough to have children of my own, I would treat them the exact same way he treated me. Hitting them and hurting them, purely because I could.

That was part of the reason I feared becoming a mother. How could someone like me, raised as an animal, ever learn how to love and support a child? I never realized before, just how wrong he was. Because even an animal could learn to love again. Especially when never really knowing what it could be like, and knowing how good it felt to be loved after such a life.

I would never feel that kind of pain again.

I wanted to remember, to relive what made me stronger. I wanted to keep the memories of what happened to me, because no matter how much it hurt, I would always remind myself that I could face hell, looking it straight in the eyes, and stay strong.

Especially now. Glancing around me at my family, I felt lucky. So lucky to have known them. To have been given the chance to experience life the way I had. Even if it was horrible, the support and love I got from them was like nothing I'd ever hoped to dream about.

I wasn't done, though. Circumstances changed, but never got easier.

My thoughts continued to drift. Busy, busy, never slowing down. I was allowed this moment by myself.

Going to school that day changed my life forever, and if I had the chance, I'd go back and I would do it all over again. I would endure the day if it meant getting everything I got in return for my suffering.

I would live my life the exact same way I lived it, and I wouldn't change a thing. Even if it meant making my life, and probably death, easier. I would keep everything the same, because what I got that day could never be traded. It could never be taken, and it could never be refused. I had it. The love they gave me, was something I'd keep for the rest of time.

I wouldn't turn out like Jack. There was no possibility of that. Just looking around myself, at my family I could see that.

It was there, as we waited, that I was allowed to feel my own exhaustion again. That didn't seem right to me, and I glanced to Jasper. He stood speaking with Bella and Alice, not even paying any attention to me.

How could I be tired?

I closed my eyes, hanging my head. I left my eyes closed for a moment, but eventually, I frowned. I was quickly getting uncomfortable. Quickly, all at once, my entire body erupted in pain.

I took a deep, hissing breath in. At first, worried that something had gone wrong in the yard, but that wasn't it. Somewhere in the very back of my mind, I recognized this pain.

I flinched, even as my eyes stayed closed. I gasped loudly now in the sudden pain, and to my surprise, the sound returned to me in an echo. As if off four walls. In a house.

Opening my eyes, I was very confused. I wasn't on the porch anymore. I wasn't at home. I almost didn't recognize this place.

Almost.

A deep, tired frown on my face, seeming permanently etched into my features as I looked around myself. Choosing careful breaths, I just breathed. Slowly. One, out. Two, out. It was a careful, instinctive balance I'd learned from very early on in life to minimize the pain. Four, dingy walls surrounded me, and a bloodstained carpet was where I laid. It was slowly, very slowly beginning to dawn on me.

As if on their own, my hands came up, patting myself down. I was no longer seventeen years old, signified by the lack of development. I wasn't immortal anymore, given how warm and pliable my skin was. How it was mandatory to take a breath. The need for oxygen again.

I was nine years old again. Never actually having been seventeen yet. I laid on my bedroom carpet, staring up at the ceiling. Dim, dawn light filtered in through the window, bathing the room in a dull, pale blue color.

My entire body screaming in pain in the silence of the room, reminding me undeniably, painfully of the beating I'd gotten just the night before.

My eyes focused on one particular dot on the ceiling, my mind reeling loudly with everything I could still recall. Desperately clinging to the memories that I still had, but even as I laid there, clinging to them, they slipped. Ran through my fingers like sand, and it hit me.

Absolutely none of it had happened.

Carlisle and Esme. Everyone else. My family, my past. Everything that happened to me, everything I'd lived through. All the strength I found, all the people I met, all the support I was given was gone. Torn away from me like a rug from under my feet, and I found myself breathless at first. Unable to truly feel it yet, the crushing grief I knew was waiting for me. I fought it, but there was no possible way to keep it back for long.

None of it was real.

The rain pounded harshly against the glass of my bedroom window, as if telling me to get up. To keep myself from giving up. The silence of the house eerie to me, especially how loud it had been just last night. A sick sort of symphony of my cries, the sounds of the belt over my skin, and his shouts. All blending together to create an ear-splitting sound. This was only the calm after the storm.

Reality slapped me violently across the face, shaking me from my struggle to keep each individual memory. The sound of each voice, the way my family looked. It was fading, very quickly the longer I laid there awake.

This explained many things, however. One thing in particular. Why I never quite felt safe. Because I never actually had been.

"Oh god." My voice sounded unfamiliar to me, and I barely, stiffly managed to bring my hands up, covering my eyes. I knew what came next, however.

Everything faded. Just like with every other wishful dream I'd ever had, it faded into the back of my mind, and after clinging so hard to it, I let them go. The memories, thoughts. Emotions, expectations. I forgot them, and I forced myself brutally to face reality. It was my only option.

I'd had dreams of them before, and despite the way I didn't want to, I let the dream go. It'd never be real. I was never that lucky, and I understood this. It was only a dream. Just a dream.

Eventually, I took a deep breath, and peeled myself quickly off the floor. Just as I'd predicted, as soon as I moved, my entire body exploded in such a pain, it knocked the breath right out of me. I had to stand there for a moment, attempting to regain it.

Today was Monday. Monday meant school, and though normally I looked forward to school purely for the lunch, today was different.

Today, my class had a field trip to the high school planned.

Something I'd just have to endure. I'd gladly take the monotony of a stupid field trip over laying on my bedroom floor, hating my life.

**END**

**A/N: I understand I will probably get many bad reviews for this, but I had to do it. I want to make it known, that I had originally tried to put in another ending, but this ending had been planned, I kid you not, since before I even started BTT-RV. I'm not even joking. It has plagued me for that long. So, to shut up the incessant nagging of this particular ending, I put it in.  
First things first. I'M SORRY this took so long to come out. RL has been taking majority of my attention, and I've had very little time to work on this. As you can imagine, I needed to get this right. And I wasn't about to just release it without some sort of concentration on it. That would have been disastrous. If it seems off, I apologize.  
THANK YOU for those of you who reviewed, and for your patience.  
Second, I'd LOVE your opinion. Good or bad, I _so_ look forward to reading what you have to say.  
****I have zero doubts that I'll be posting again.**  
As always, my beautiful readers. Until then.  



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